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We could have still had fun... (self.asktrp)

submitted by naMlliPdeR

So was making out, heavy gripping, told her we're going to my place, she made it very clear she doesn't fuck on the first date. She was at best plate material, but really hot, so I went kinda cold, then started groping and making out again, and tried to lead to the car, and she again says she's not going to my place on the first date.

So I end date, go home. She texts me that I shouldn't have gotten upset and that we could have made out for more time and had fun without sleeping together.

What would you guys tell her?


[–]JeffsRP2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She used that word, upset?

It's a shit test.

AM, A&A, A&D, Ignore, pressure flip, gaslight

FYI I'd probably say this. Fair warning: I have a tendency for playing frisbee with my plates. It's fun while it lasts.

"I'm not upset, I'm just disappointed in you. I thought you were sluttier."

[–]naMlliPdeR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That response is genius. If my SMV is high enough, she will not blow me off and take it like a joke. I've identified a big flaw I have, fear to say things that might upset them, which in turn means I act beta

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I'm not upset, I'm just disappointed in you. I thought you were sluttier."

This time 10000.

[–]machimus1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

She was right, you shouldn't have gone cold, it looked like you were upset. When she said she doesn't fuck on the first date you agree and then say there's plenty of other things you can do at your place. If she doesn't want to do that even, tell her you're not going to keep making out in the alley, you should go somewhere with a little more privacy (which is why you suggested your place).

[–]naMlliPdeR[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. Should I ever go cold?

[–]machimus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes, but just because traffic slows down doesn't mean you slam on your brakes, you know?

Or else, hold your frame and pleasantly explain how if you weren't going to get somewhere more private you didn't want to keep going. Ask her if she wants to pick up where you left off tomorrow night.

When you go "cold", you're not supposed to stop talking and ignore her, you're supposed to happily continue on with your night. Otherwise you just look upset and that's not attractive.

[–]naMlliPdeR[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Mind expanding I how I'm supposed to act when I go cold?

[–]machimus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure. "Cold" is maybe a little too harsh a word. "Lukewarm" might be more accurate. Completely abandon any attempt to take her home. Stay friendly. Your state of mind should be "That was fun, but I'm going to keep having a good time, not waste my time chasing something that's not going to happen." Make sense?

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Say nothing. Nothing is rarely the wrong thing to say. Radio silent for a week. Then re-engage as though nothing happened.

[–]Apexk9-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well I wouldn't fuck up that royally.

Respond with "k" and never talk to her again.

[–]naMlliPdeR[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

care to expand how I royalty Fucked up

[–]1RedPillJax1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's a troll, bro. Don't listen to him. Another guy who knows it all, but has applied none of it to his own life.

[–]Apexk90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well I wasn't there. But you didn't get her to your place and then you threw a emotional hissy fit and acted butt hurt when she shit tested you to the point she made another shit test in relation to how butt hurt you were.

You just gave up.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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