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I stumbled across an article from back in march talking about the most recent gay pride parade in Toronto. It was mostly people bickering about whether the nudity at the parade was acceptable or even legal. The whole situation had me shaking my head. It wasn't even so much the presence of nudity, it was the insistence that nudity was an expression of gay pride. That somehow who you like dictates how much clothes you wear. Then a quote at the end of the article really got to me.

Toronto Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays executive director Irene Miller has been attending Pride festivities since 1978. She recalls Pride 2010, when PFLAG marched behind grand marshals Todd Klink and Mandy Goodhandy, owners of pansexual nightclub Goodhandy’s.

“They had an entourage with them, and we had the privilege of marching behind a good number of bums, and it was wonderful,” she says. “The purpose of Pride is not to normalize gay culture. We don’t want our gay children to conform to straight culture. We want them to be accepted exactly as they are. If that’s leather chaps and bare bums, then that’s what we’ll love.

What the actual fuck? This is insane on so many levels. You want them to be accepted as they are? I didn't know that wearing assless chaps was a state of being. But hey, they can't help it, they were born that way, came right out of their mother wearing leather.

Leather is fine. bare asses are nice. I'm not complaining about getting to see that, but don't for a minute make this about some innate expression of the self and a celebration of what it is to be homosexual. No, its a celebration of what it is to walk around half naked covered in leather. Its like saying a collage fraternity is a celebration of heterosexual culture.

But thats the real kicker, isn't it. There is no heterosexual culture because forming a culture around a sexuality is just dumb. There was a gay culture because at one point in time there had to be. Homosexuality was underground and so people had to form their own communities and culture. The need for that has passed. Even if you want to keep pride in your now irrelevant culture like the Cherokee mourning over the slaughter of their entire people, don't call it gay pride.

The homosexual youth of tomorrow will be assimilated into "straight" culture, and thats the best thing you could ask for. No longer are they going to have to exclude themselves and remain segregated. Hell, maybe they wont want to kill themselves so much then.

Lets face it, gay pride is counter productive.


[–]redgreenyellowblu1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Of course, not every gay person is into leather and chaps. But even if there is something innate there that draws some gays to hyper-masculine drag, there's no reason it needs to be displayed publicly, especially as part of a parade that's meant to be a PR campaign. It would be weird to have a female dominatrix and a grovelling male sub on a Saint Patrick's Day float.

I think this maybe grew out of support from the bars/nightclubs early on in the movement. Who else was going to back a float? Also, these parades with go-go boys and chaps wearers are an urban phenomenon. Gays in the big cities are overly-represented by a shallow crowd. It's all about looks and youth and sex appeal. It's unfortunate that the narcissistic ones get so much attention and define an entire group of people.

I live in a smaller town in Hawaii, and a recent pride parade here had no inappropriate nudity or fetish wear. It was fun and colorful, but it felt just like regular people in the town-- gays, family and friends of gays, and curious people wanting a fun day--all came out and had a good time. It's the difference between urban and rural.

I disagree that there is not a straight culture. The larger culture is straight, so there never really needed to be this moment of, "Let's make our culture a straight culture!" Although, it's been noted that women have a big stake in discouraging homosexuality. "Straight culture" is partly built around making sure men don't get the idea to just fuck each other and forgo making babies.

That being said, there really isn't a gay culture, other than the hub of urban gays that think so much of themselves to say that they say that they are the gay culture. Most gays participate in the larger culture, just like everyone else. Work 40 hours a week, eat the same food as everyone else, go to movies, have hobbies, buy shit from stores, etc.

[–]Bearlyred[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

the hub of urban gays that think so much of themselves to say that they say that they are the gay culture

This is where the distinction between being gay and being homosexual comes in. Like you said, most homosexual men participate in larger culture. They are able to form an identity as an individual aside from their sexuality. Then there are those who adopt being gay as an identity, the professional gay man. Even if its small and shallow, the culture formed around these professional gays is what people see as being gay. Its wrapped up in an air of effeminacy and fiercely defended through activism. The activism alone creates a mindset of us and them, isolating gay people from the culture as a whole.

When people make a statement like "We don’t want our gay children to conform to straight culture" it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I'm sure they think it means something noble, but in my mind its just saying you would rather they be isolated from the rest of culture.

[–]RustyGuns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, to me it's odd and honestly frustrating when I see gay men isolating themselves from everyone else. They have gay everything, where they live, their doctors, grocery stores etc. I personally can't handle that culture for more than a day.

[–]RustyGuns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly as a gay man who has not adopted this culture I feel ashamed when I see what our gay pride events have turned into. It's essentially a bunch of guys looking for an excuse to wear as little as they can and show it off, the message and purpose of the parade becomes less powerful due to it. For me the only good part is the parties that follow in the evening. But that is something you really have to look for to participate, the parade is kinda right there in your face. If I had a child and they were a little unsure about gays the last place I would take them is to a pride parade.

[–]GaiusScaevolus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pride parades virtually always set social groups back a decade.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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