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I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have sex maybe 1x a month now. He is fucking phenomenal in bed. He's one of a few people who can give me a ~30 second long orgasm (if they're actually giving me an orgasm).

Typically, this would be a huge deal for me and I would just say, "bye", but I get mine regularly as we're open. We occasionally talk about the people we've had sex with recently (maybe that's my mistake?). He's a great guy, which is why I'm still with him. Smart, funny, sociable, sexy. Same about me. We get along great and I love spending time with him. We want to have children together a little later in our lives. I'm mid 20s and he's early 30s.

Lately, I've been thinking of him as a roommate and a great bud that I occasionally fool around with. I've had plenty of people like that in the past.

When I do the typical RP shit, he gets upset and pulls away, and his desire towards me drops even more. He never pulls any shit tests, I'm not a whiny bitch, and we're both solid in our lives and our confidence.

If I act like a beta bitch, he acts more affectionately but never wants to actually have sex (in any way, shape, or form).

He's admitted that he's biologically bored with sex with me. I know he's got a good sex drive because he lays other guys. It's just me that he doesn't want to have sex with.

I'm definitely sexually liberal. I fucking love threesomes, kinky shit like BDSM (dominant or submissive), exhibitionism, daddies, twinks, jocks, muscle worship, women, hairy, smooth, whatever. Hot is hot. But nothing I've tried seems to get him going.

I know that he likes fucking when there's a chance that he'll get caught. We used to fuck 2 or 3 times a day in the shower of his parents' beach house. I tried to get him to fool around on a hike that we went on recently, but he wasn't interested in at all. I also made him dinner on our balcony and initiated there, but no luck.

He also gets off on other guys getting off. He can't orgasm unless I've already shot in/on/near him. Sometimes more than once.

He says that he feels guilty that he's bored with me. Should I just tell him, "If I want it and you're not into it, give me a blowjob."? I feel like I'm missing something incredibly obvious but my ltr has blinded me.

Advice appreciated.


[–]GC0W307 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If this was regular TRP I think the first question would be whether or not you got fat or stopped lifting.

My personal question is whether or not he is having good luck with much hotter men than you. Open relationships are definitely hard mode. ..

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Open relationships are definitely hard mode

Open relationships aren't just hard mode- they're hard mode on Battletoads.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the best RP advice would be to work on yourself, make sure you're fit, make sure you've got good things going for you, bang other dudes. It might not bring him back around, or it might, but even if it doesn't you're in great shape, have a good life, and you're having good sex.

Definitely don't wanna be beta toward him. That underscores the reasons he has lost attraction. You know he has lost interest and so you've got to make the most of it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All I'm reading from this is:

I'm beta. He's good in bed, I want him bad.

From that whole ordeal. OP- you need to put a major cool down with your boyfriend, as in break the fuck up with him and maybe take him back later because you're putting his "boipussy" on a pedestal while in an open relationship in the meantime, and as a result, he's getting bored with you for that reason.

he lays with other guys...

My advice is to close the relationship the second time around, if and when you get back together. If he's with someone else, call it a blessing.

[–]should_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I do the typical RP shit

I'm curious if you could give examples of what exactly you mean by this and perhaps when you execute this.

Excuse the incompleteness of my answer; I'm with everyone else so far: more lifting and eating well if it's not happening, not acting codependent.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dump his frigid ass. He's most likely getting it somewhere else.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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