I used to love these kinds of threads. Someone on seddit or asktrp would post a shit-test and the comments would be full of absolutely hilarious responses.

But from personal experience, the responses themselves never helped in actual situations. Mostly I guess, because as a beginner, you're on edge, you forget, you tend to overthink the delivery and/or the wit doesn't come to you.

And the few occasions where it does apply, its just... not fun. Or at least not as fun as the alternative.

I realized that where these thread do give you power and ammo is that they tell you that your sexuality is not to be shamed. That you don't have to apologize, explain or backtrack, and if you don't, nothing bad will happen. As someone else said, "The proper response isn't a response. Its dismissing her authority to test you in the first place".

In hindsight, these things seem obvious intellectually, but it really isn't obvious deeper down, not to your subconscious anyway. And once you manage to give your subconscious that message, that's when the real magic happens. ANYTHING works, however dumb, because everything has the right intention. Even if you're not witty AT ALL. Like me.

The day it clicked for me, the hottest girl I was seeing (and trying and failing to fuck for days) straight up asked me how much I made, "in dollars"(quote).

I ignored her, I didn't agree and amplify. I was just genuinely hungry. With that on my face, I just blurted, "Can I eat you?"

She said "WHY?"

I said "hungry."

She laughed, "I'm small! I'm not gonna be enough."

and I swear to god, game just flowed out of me from then on. We had the most FUN date after that. And I finally had sex with her. :-)