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I have a boyfriend who I haven't told anything about theredpill. I started following some tips here and becoming more deferential, allowing him to lead me, baking him food, more submissive body language etc. with the hope of making him happier. I noticed he's become more protective of me which I really enjoy, I'm wondering is it possible that men naturally take control when a woman surrenders herself more? Can this happen subconsciously, because I haven't told him about the red pill and I've noticed a change in his behavior to me.


[–]lucythelumberjack17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I would say absolutely. Ever since I've put effort into being more feminine for my guy he's really come out of his shell; he's more protective, more sexually dominant, and more willing to lead and makes plans himself instead of asking me to do it. It's just the perfect mix of asking for my input and taking the relationship where he wants it to go with me happily following :) It takes some time, because men have been conditioned to hide their natural inclinations, but it's so worth it.

[–]wakethfkupneo12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

(Male perspective)

Yes. It's VERY motivating. You're almost forcing him to act naturally, the way man has evolved to do (unless he was brainwashed bit too hard, beyond repair). And then the positive spiral hits you back and you're even more attracted to more confident/alpha guy. That, I believe, is one of the major points of RPW.

Words of warning though: You're a woman. You're programmed to always probe (shit test) for weaknesses. It's subconscious and you can't help it. The problem is that deep down you understand that what you see now is kinda artificial - partly (mostly?) because of your effort. Sooner or later itching will be unbearable and you'll be hard pressed to drop a bomb or two when he least expects it. So, my advice is: knowing what you know now, as a RP woman, resist temptation as much as humanly possible to drop it too soon. Main reason being is he needs time to internalize his newfound alphatude, to get accustomed to new modus operandi. Couple of days won't cut it, he'll need more. Give him time, the more you can control yourself, the better.

[–]fire-fly5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is very good advice, and yet sooo hard because shit testing is such an unconscious behaviour.

[–]proprioceptor7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I definitely think so. Submission and support frees him up to do what he wants to do naturally, which is usually to lead and make decisions. If you can create an environment that is conducive to that then you can both be the best version of yourselves :)

[–]dicklord_airplane7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

is it easier for you to feel and act feminine when a guy is dominant and masculine? of course. the vice versa is also true. watch people when you're out at social events. you'll notice that guys act more masculine when they encounter a very feminine woman.

some guys are so conditioned to be totally equal to women that it may take some time and clear communication to get him to be the man in your relationship. if it seems like he isn't getting it or is unsure, talk to him. tell him that you want to play the feminine role and be submissive, and that it turns you on when he's more dominant. reassure him that it's ok to play the traditional male role.

i used to be so utterly programmed to be a passive bitch unto women. one girl i dated in my teenage years really helped me out by explaining that despite the mainstream cultural messages, girls still want a strong-willed man to take the lead.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course this is what happens. I've noticed the same change in myself before I ever discovered TRP. It might be a good experiment to condition him to be more masculine.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course. It's the natural order of things. He has in some part been conditioned by society on how to treat women, especially since there are so many dominant ones now. But a submissive woman will bring out his masculine side. Before your yin and his yang were not so far apart. Still balanced but easier to upset the balance. Now your yin is more, so his yang is more (this is the best way to describe it). If you look at the yin yang symbol, you see that even yin has a small amount of yang in it, and the opposite as well. This is because you are not COMPLETELY feminine traits, but mostly. But that part is supposed to be small.
You are bringing things more into balance. Women are feminine, men are masculine. And it is the harmony in relationships that causes us to seek this balance.

It has often been seen that opposite forces are complementary, not opposing. I'm not sure what I believe about Chinese ancient beliefs, but Yin and Yang seems to explain a lot of things at least easier.

And a man will not be more masculine if you do not let him. Hence, tada you let him, and he fills the space :)

[–]Vzuv6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. Look, there's a pretty well-kept secret when it comes to a dominant/submissive dynamic: short of oppression, you can't really be dominating over someone who isn't willing and able to be submissive. Someone who constantly judges you, questions your authority or your decision making ability (offering feedback is great, openly questioning is not) not only makes it difficult to be dominant, but takes you out of the "dominant" mindset.

If you are someone that is naturally dominant, it is very easy to slip into that role with someone who is submissive. To me, being dominant feels manly. Making the decisions, being the stronger one, being the protector - and being around someone eagerly and readily deferring to me makes me feel like a million bucks, particularly if I feel that they show that they appreciate the added difficulty and pressure it takes to be the one who's on the hook for all the decisions.

Men feel more masculine around more feminine women - and, at least in my case, I love feeling masculine. As I've been implementing red pill in my life, I've noticed my wife doing some things that I've absolutely enjoyed. She asked me for help with working out. For the first time ever, she wore a dress out in public with me. Displays of femininity and showing that she's trusting enough of me to defer to my judgment are both turn-ons, and increase my confidence. And, frankly, a submissive, feminine woman is sexy as fuck.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When men lead their testosterone levels rise. So, yes, a man leading a relationship will become more masculine. Interestingly, the opposite is true. When women lead the relationship, the man's testosterone levels sink, making him less assertive and having a lower sex drive.

Then when some young girl in his office shows him respect his hormones suddenly make him feel alive again and you know what happens next.

[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Interesting, do you have a source on this?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not off the top of my head. I read these studies back in 2011.

[–]leftajar1 Star3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely. This is true because the opposite is true: if you henpeck your boyfriend and constantly undermine him, it will reduce his masculinity.

[–]meri-dian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The answer is: yes. That's why it's our sexual strategy. :)

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yessss. Hottest thing I can think of is when a woman gives me space to do my thing. He'to rising to the occasion. Props to him

[–]cream_tangerine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like everyone else said: Yes! Being an honourable, supportive woman gives men the opportunity to grow and thrive.

[–]nomnompuffs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting question.

[–]ColdEiric6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does it get easier for you girls, when your close friends decide to be faithfully, lovingly supportive, instead of harassing you and stabbing you on your weakest spots?

Trust me, it works the same way for us guys.

[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, that is part of the whole point. Men and women will just sort of naturally fall into their roles, if you provide an environment in which they can do that.

[–]LadyLumen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not really sure when it started, but now that you mention it, my boyfriend has been asking me less to make decisions for him.

He's always been protective (I guess because I'm a small weak thing). But I feel like he has really stepped up in taking responsibility for things - much more than he used to. Power and responsibility go hand in hand, someone can't act responsible until you give them power.

Women who treat their men like children complain that these men don't take initiative or do anything. Well....it's hard to be a man when you're not allowed to be.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

definitely.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]tintedlipbalm3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how encouraging him to take the male role will cause him to "no longer see you as a person but as a thing". Do you know what this sub is about?

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TempestTcup2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ewww, quit trying to fetishize this sub. We aren't into "playing tricks" or cosplaying the 1950s or whatever. Maybe you should read around before flying off the handle.

[–]StingrayVC2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And as a man I don't need my wife

Not playing the submissive wife so I can trick him staying with me or get my way.

Oh look. She's pretending to be a man to make her point. I wonder why?

[–]TempestTcup3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah - he/she/it wandered here from /r/TrollXChromosomes. Yikes!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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