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Red Pill ExampleSo... whatever happened to my ex-wife after the divorce? The first 12 months. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

I've already covered why my wife left after 15 years and my subsequent dating experiences, but I had quite a few messages asking me about what the ex is up to now. I think a lot of RP guys are hoping for a “post-wall female ends up on skid row with 78 cats and no man” story. We're not quite there yet, but I think you may find it interesting to see where her decisions have led her. The layers of deceit are insane. Lots of Red Pill truths to be found.

(At the risk of giving away too much personal info, I won't share how I know all of the info below... but let's just say it's all 100% true and verified)

She was very quick to want to divorce. Why? She had falling madly in love with another man. Problem: he didn't want to continue carrying on with a married woman. My messages to him on Facebook (some mild threats and blubbering) and her frantic crying and carrying on about getting caught was enough to almost scare him away for good. Too much of a headache. Besides, he had other plates he was spinning and they didn't have this much drama in their lives. So, she needed to get me out of the way and prove to him that this would be a stress-free transition.

Our divorce was maybe the quickest in history. She filed immediately. Agreement written and signed by both of us... just a matter of waiting on the 60 day waiting period. Judge was quick to sign off. She leaves in July, divorced before Thanksgiving. She walked away from everything. Took her debts with her. No child support. No alimony. Kept my retirement savings.

About a month after leaving, she texted me. The doctor had found lumps in her breasts. They were convinced that they were benign in nature, but wanted to remove them to be sure. She wanted to know if I could watch the kids for an extended period of time while she recuperated at home. Her sister would take her to the hospital and watch her for the first few days. I sat at my desk at work... and was in shock. It had only been four weeks since she dropped the “I just don't love you any more” bomb on me... and now this? Possible breast cancer? Was I going to be a widower before the divorce actually went through? Holy shit. I had to go to the bathroom and have a good cry.

It was just a matter of days before her sister called me and filled me in on the details. There are no lumps. No breast cancer scare. Nothing benign. She was getting implants. Double D's. She had cashed in her 401k to pay for them. Oh sweet Jesus she has really lost it.

I had the kids for about a week and a half (recuperation time) before they visited her for one day... then they wanted to come back to dad. I had them for another week straight. This is the trend for the next year. I get them for most of the week, she has them for a day or two and posts 374 photos of them on Facebook, scores mommy points, sends them back to me for the parenting. The appearances are maintained. As long as they are safe and with me, I don't care. But I digress...

So, she has cashed in her 401k, got a tit job, divorced her husband, left her home, gave up most of her assets, and emotionally and semi-physically abandoned the children. Do you think the other guy will implode in a fit of passion and embrace as his one true love??!? No. Not quite. He's dating somebody else and doesn't want to stop. Rumor has it that he has several women... not including the one he is publicly dating, and my ex-wife that he is secretly bonking. He is more than willing to sneak into my ex's house for a quickie (and she is willing to gobble up whatever attention she can get from him), but nothing serious. She is devastated.

She texts everyone in a fit of despair. Life is just not fair to her. Why can't this guy just love me for who I am? Why are all men pigs?!? Nobody, I repeat NOBODY calls her out on the consequences of her poor decisions in life. Not a single person. She gets a resounding “You go girl!” from every single female friend that replies. Some of them don't bother responding to her and haven't spoken to her since. I'm still friendly with the ones that cut her off. We see each other at soccer practices. The others? Dead to me.

Her and her sister start getting closer. The sister used to confide in me about everything related to the divorce... but our conversations have stopped. In fact, all of my conversations with that side of the family have come to an end. One month after the boob job visit, her sister drops her live-in boyfriend of 3 years and announces that she is leaving for Florida to be with a new boyfriend. The “crisis” mindset is extremely contagious between broken females. The sister is a totally new person. Not in a good way.

My ex started drinking. A lot. She would drunk text friends and guys she kinda-sorta knew from the gym. She would get sexual with the guys right away. The guys were a little hesitant. They seemed more interested in talking about their divorces and kid life. She obviously wanted no part of that. One guy (ripped black dude from the gym) actually told her that he likes “Thick ass” women. He would be over right away if she wants it. She didn't reply. Days later she told him she was ready... he texted that he had moved out of state. “Sorry, you missed your chance.” More drinking. She sent his shirtless photo to every friend. “Look what I'm going to get!” She left out the part about him moving away and missing her chance... but she got the required amount of “Holy shit! You go girl!” replies. All was good. At least until the next lonely night.

She tried out online dating. I actual saw her on one of the sites. Her profile said that she is “Looking for a man that can bench more than me!”. Interest came from white trash truckers and 50 something guys with neck tattoos. She sends photos of them to friends. “Is this what is out there?! Seriously? What is wrong with me?!” Her worries are laid to rest. “Girl! You are awesome! You'll find somebody! Just don't go back to the other guy! He's playing you!” She says she knows he's a player... but she loves him and can't stop thinking about him.

So, it is now obvious that the pickings are slim for a 40 year old with giant fake cans, three kids and an impressive deadlift. What's left? Win over the affair partner. She texts him. She admits love. She pours her heart out. His texts to her increase in frequency. He texts her while on dates with other women. She loves this and tells all of her friends. “Don't do it! He's bad news, girl!”, they all say. She can't help it, she tells them. She's obsessed.

Her texts to him are very sexual, but at the same time she attempts to paint a picture of herself as a super mom. She tells him heart-warming family stuff. Stories include funny things my son would say and do. I thought “My kid wouldn't say those kind of things. Weird...” I check the calendar to check the dates. Sure enough, the days she had these elaborate funny kid stories... the kids were with me at home. Sometimes she would say “My kid just said the funniest thing about you!” or “My son was just asking about you! He says he can beat you up!” Meanwhile me and the boy are playing football in my backyard.

Then she decided to start painting me as a villain. This was very hard for me to digest. I understand where it's coming from. She made a ginormously bad life decision, and she had to rationalize it. What better way than to say “I had to leave him... look at how awful he is!” She lied about money. She said she had to take on all of my debts as part of the agreement. She said they were still all in my name and she wanted to declare bankruptcy to ruin me. Uhh... no. Those are are your credit card debts. I have nothing to do with them. Meanwhile, she maxed out three more cards in a span of six months. She tells him that I miss all of my kids' sports games. No, I drove my son to every wrestling meet in the state, and arranged for my girl to go to soccer with friends, and attended 6 of her 9 games.

Note: This is really common amongst divorced women. They paint the ex as a demon. 9 times out of 10 (from my experience), there's way more to the story. Remember, it's important that they maintain that wholesome image. You'd be amazed at the level of detail they can go into to save face.

She is aware of my past dates and current girlfriend. She gets texts from friends who have spotted us around town. They tell her that she is “really teeny and pretty”. She texts her man “Do they HAVE to tell me she's small? I mean, I know I'm a giant cow, but they don't have to be jerks about it.” The man says “Who cares? You're better off now. How is he such a wimp and getting chicks, any way?” He and I have never met. He may be surprised that I am actually a grown man that works out regularly and not part salamander.

Finally, he tells my ex that he has dumped the other woman he was dating and wants to now date her full-time. Hooray! She has worn him down. Why the sudden change of heart? Not sure. He is getting older. I believe he's 45. Maybe he wants to “settle down”. Not sure how my ex fits that category.

Since being full-time with him, her attachment to the kids has become even worse. She is very free to ask if I can watch the kids extra time. She is commonly “at work” for longer than normal. The kids are becoming more loving and attached to me, especially my daughter. They know about the boyfriend. She wasted no time at all telling them about him. My daughter was heart-broken. I am recording all of this for the inevitable future custody battle. I would love to have the kids full-time... let them see her every other weekend or so.

The ex is shit-testing the bejeezus out of her man. A common phrase of hers is “I didn't like something you said the other day”. He is very quick with a frequent apology. He also now mows her yard and gives her money. This will not last long.


[–]fapuffin 93 points94 points  (15 children)

Thanks for giving us a safe view into what things could be like.

What was she like before marriage? A unicorn? Any warning signs?

How did you manage to get her to agree to no child support/alimony?

[–]ADDvanced 64 points65 points  (21 children)

Nice post. I have a similar experience, I was with my ex for 8 years. First 5 were totally awesome. Then? It started with her rejection of her faith*, then her mom, then her dad, and eventually me. I was in school, and not around, and honestly, after totally being a dead bedroom relationship, I was definitely flirting around...but I never made any moves. I still always tried to make things happen, but just got shot down all the time. The relationship was totally broken, mainly because she was so conflicted/confused/fucked up. So her friends from work were all single, and more importantly, they were uglier than her. She was the small, pretty one, and they always gave her compliments, and built up her ego to the point where she thought she'd do so much better than me. I knew it was coming, but nothing I could do would change it. Try harder? More space. Try less and be unavailable? More space. Nothing worked. It's also worth nothing that she was just boring as shit to be around, she claimed she 'was over drinking, she was 27 and didn't want to act like a college kid anymore'. This is important.

So, she filed for divorce. My life was in total autopilot, I don't really remember a few months of things with graduation, working, and all of these relationship problems. I was agreeable, took all the debt, and signed anything she threw at me. Stupid, I now realize. Anyway, I move out. It sucked. She acted like it didn't even matter, and that was that. I stopped by a few weeks later to grab the rest of my stuff, when she wasn't home, and what do I see? Beer cans, empty wine bottles, and empty vodka bottles everywhere. The kitchen was a disaster, it looked worse than all of my bachelor pads with male roommates. Through some online research of a friend who was still friends with her, I discovered she'd been having 8-12 single people over, all drinking heavily at what was my apartment. Then I see pictures of some dude all over her, in what was my bed. Rad.

Then I found out she was fucking one of my mercenary friends, which really made me confused, as my entire relationship she had told me violence isn't the answer, and frequently chastised me for having opinions that weren't peaceful (not regarding us, just society and small talk). But she's fucking a dude who kills people for a job. Again, it's not what they say, it's what they do. I got a new GF, and while out at some bar, I see her dressed like a whore with her fatter/uglier friends and they're all living it up, sex in the city style. "You go girl", all that. She also painted me as some sort of monster, just like OP was talking about. The people who listen to her side of the story and believed everything, without hearing anything I have to say? Dead to me, as well.

I don't see her for a while, and I finally see her around Christmas of that year. I am there to take care of our dog for a few days, and as I open the door she's crying. I ask what's wrong, to show some concern for someone who was previously my best friend, and she exclaims "It's so hard to be without you, especially around the holidays". Just. Wow. I responded with "Well... maybe you shouldn't have thrown me away like a parking ticket". She was offended that I was "such an asshole", whatever. I don't even know where she is or who she's fucking now, and I don't care. She's fucking insane, good riddance.

*not that faith is important, just saying I saw a pattern coming.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 197 points198 points  (67 children)

The big take-away from all of this isn't the revenge factor, knowing an ex-wife is a fuckup, or even relief at being out of the situation and/or never getting married.

The take-away for the rest of the world to learn from this is far more dramatic: Screen your women. Thoroughly. If you have even a shred of doubt, even one as minor as a negative family history, pass on marriage.

A fuckup mother like this hurts the children. You don't want to wed and have children with a fuckup. Not even a little bit of a fuckup. Your children get fuckup genes and a fuckup upbringing. Sometimes, you get tricked or you get married at a time when you were ignorant. But if there's any take-away for the young guys reading this now, either never get married, or do a damn good job of screening your women. Being married to a fuckup is the worst.