Field ReportThought I was with that one-in-a-million until she pulled the biggest shit test of all. Keep your guard up. (self.TheRedPill)

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Three years ago, I met a smart, gorgeous girl of 22. She responded logically to situations and had a firm grasp of what I would eventually come to know as her hamster. Her sex drive with me was extremely giving and submissive. I had found what I had been looking for.

Two years into the relationship, under circumstances of her getting laid off and an unresponsive landlord, she moved into my house. She would cook, clean, and fuck. It was a little bit of heaven for my needs. But we all know where this story leads. Disappointment is the only end-game to commitment. The cooking would level off, the cleaning would become a shared responsibility, and the fucking became less exciting. My frame was being chipped away without me even knowing what was happening. We were too comfortable with each other, a thing I treasured at first but grew very critical of as the situation developed. Modern romance fiction leads us to believe that mutual comfort, "mature love", is something to be proud of - a lesson I had learned the hard way. Of course we know this is bullshit. "Mature love" is "lazy, bored love".

Fights about nothing began to surface, and while I was playing shit-test Whac-a-mole, she pulls the greatest one of all after a few months: "I can't live here anymore".

"What?", I said, a little dumbfounded.

"I can't do this. It's killing our relationship. I need to move out and find myself again."

I pause for a few moments. "Okay, if that's what you need to do, I'm not going to stop you." It was cold. It was truth.

You should have seen her face. The pain in her eyes was not from the heartbreaking emotion attached to her own words, it was from my agreement. I told her that she should find another place to live as quickly as possible.

She moved out a few days later. She cried the whole time.

I met up with her yesterday to exchange items. I saw something I hadn't seen in a long time: true respect.

"You know, I thought you would have fought for me. I was expecting you to fight for me. I felt like I didn't know what was happening in the relationship and didn't like it, and I needed you to tell me you wanted me", she says.

"If you're going to tell me that you want out, I'm not going to tell you any different. If you don't want to be with me, then I don't want you in my life. It's pretty cut-and-dry."

She looks like someone just shot her dog. Slowly, she responds, "I didn't actually want to move out, but I think it was for the best. I'm sorry for everything. I want you back so badly."

Right now she's doing everything in her power to get me back. I literally had to stop her from sucking my cock. So keep your chins up and eyes open; the game never stops.

[–]deepsouthscoundrel 311 points312 points  (95 children)

Maintaining the vigilance of being "ready to walk" at all times is what makes my current relationship simultaneously the most difficult I've ever had and the most rewarding.

Way to stick the dismount, brother.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 115 points116 points  (34 children)

I felt like I didn't know what was happening in the relationship and didn't like it, and I needed you to tell me you wanted me

"Why would I fight for something you're willing to so easily throw away?"

Good on you for holding firm. It's a lot harder once a girl has moved in, if only because of logistical issues and sunk costs. A lot of men give up due to the extra effort involved.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 78 points79 points  (31 children)

I'd give it 10 to 1 odds that her move out was a prelude to a breakup (possibly influenced by an opportunity elsewhere), and she just wanted to hedge her bets, and maybe even get you to help her move her shit.

Then, you demonstrated that you don't care as much as she thought, she got worried she was making a mistake, maybe things didn't work out with her other opportunity, and she tried to pass it all off as trying to get you to fight for her -- you know, she did everything she did for the sake of the relationship. For you. So you should definitely be grateful!