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Blue Pill ExampleI Was Divorce Raped. Don't Be Me. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by rp_divorced

Several people wanted to hear my story after reading my recent comments so I thought I'd oblige because it is probably helpful to others. It's long but I wanted to show you what life is like if you follow in my footsteps.

I'll start with the disclaimer that I'm in my current situation because of my own actions. I allowed every bit of this to happen and I take full responsibility. I was blue pill/beta bucks to the extreme until I said fuck it and drew a line in the sand. Now I'm divorced and giving her a ton of money every month. I'm broke but happy. You don't have to end up in the same position.

How I Got Here

I met my now ex-wife when I was a junior in college. She was the exact opposite of me. Extroverted, life of the party, always seeing the positive and ignoring the negative. I was much more reserved and didn't need to be the center of attention.

I was a year ahead of her in school so a few months before I was to graduate, she said "Where is this going? I'm not going to waste my time if this isn't going to lead to marriage."

I bought the engagement ring the next week with my student loan money.

At this point of my life despite being a former college athlete, a stellar student who was nominated for the highest academic award for graduating seniors, and starting student groups on campus I was depressed and had no self esteem. When she gave me what was essentially an ultimatum, I had just been put on the waiting list for the graduate program I wanted to attend. I was told to apply to medical school instead because it was easier to get into but I didn't want to spend the next 10 years in school because I was getting married to this great woman.

When we first got married, we were 22 years old. I worked 4pm-1am and she worked temp jobs from 8-5. It was the mid 90's just before the dot com boom so jobs weren't as easy to come by. She got bored quickly and started to spend her time in the evenings shopping. When I got the credit card bill, I was pissed and cut up the credit card. When she found out, she told me that I couldn't do that and that it will take time for her to adjust because her dad would buy her anything she wanted when she was growing up. She used shopping as therapy the rest of our marriage.

After being married a year, she tired of working temp jobs because her sociology/women's studies degree wasn't very useful in finding a job of substance. She decided that she was going to go back for a Masters degree to become a teacher. It was her life's calling, she said. I was completely opposed as was her entire family. She quit the job she had at the time and went to school full time. I paid for her degree in addition to the house we had just bought on my salary alone because I had just self-studied my was to becoming a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. At the time, this certification was a license to print money. In reality, it made it so that she'd never have to work the rest of our marriage.

By the time she finished the degree, our first child was born so she was in no hurry to get out there and work. Eventually, she did get a teaching job and quit after one week. That was the end of her teaching career. It was no longer her life's calling and I was supportive because I was the breadwinner who was supposed to support his family. Over the years, two more kids were born and she took a job here or there that never lasted more than a few months at a time.

Our third child was born by the time I was 30 and I had become extremely resentful because she made it known that the world revolved around her. And I let it continue. She told me one day that it was just expected of me to go to work so that didn't count when comparing our responsibilities. I was expected to do just as much around the house as she was and she let things sit until I was home. Her days were spent with her friends and their children or dropping the kids at mothers morning out so she could have some adult time. Cleaning and cooking could wait until I was home to help. Any time I mentioned that the situation was unfair was met with a list of all the things I didn't do right in the relationship. She could do no wrong.

By year 15 of our marriage, I was done. I had become nothing more than an ATM for her and she did anything she wanted. She decided to finally get a full time job because she was unhappy with life too. The truth was that we were constantly stressed because of money because the credit cards were always maxed and we had no money despite my excellent salary. My hamster was working overtime thinking about how great life was going to be now that we had two incomes!

That ended quickly when she wouldn't get home until after 7 each night and I had to do all the cooking, cleaning and homework as well as listening to her complain about her "horrible" coworkers who "didn't know how to run a business" every night for two hours. So I did what a lot of guys do. I got a blow job from a 24 year old who showed some interest in me. I deserved it, I thought. My ungrateful wife didn't care about anything other than my paycheck and she never gave me blow jobs.

The Road to The Red Pill

I had what could best be described as a come to Jesus moment after I left blow job girl. I don't know why it did, but it hit me that I had been rationalizing my own actions in order to cope with my miserable life at home. I had been depressed for a long time and kept blaming my wife for it. If only she'd do A, B and C, I would be happy. This is when I saw the bullshit in my own head for what it was.

Blow job girl continued to text and I kept blowing her off so I could deal with my own shit. She started getting crazier and more ballsy by calling and texting when she knew I'd be home with my family so I told my wife what happened. We started marriage counseling a week later and I got on an antidepressant and went to therapy on my own as well.

I went into couples counseling and fell on my sword and took responsibility for everything. I essentially handed any little shred of control I might have had in the relationship to my wife and I would never get it back. Over the next two years, we went to counseling off and on. I thought we had worked through everything because the ex would constantly say that she had forgiven me. Even the counselor was pissed because I would say "I hear her say she has forgiven me, but I don't feel like she has." The counselor asked me what more I wanted, she said she forgave you. I told her I wanted to FEEL forgiven. So at every session, I was given something else the wife wanted me to do to be a better husband and I would do it only to be given another task at the next session.

I finally realized that the man my wife said she wanted was not me and that the marriage was probably over so I took what could best be described as the nuclear route. One night while sitting in bed I told my wife that I wasn't satisfied with the relationship and things had to change if we were going to be together. I told her that she was getting all the benefits out of the relationship and I was getting none. She exploded and told me that I was getting many benefits. When I asked her to name them she said "I raised our children to be great people." I laughed and told her to take the kids out of the equation and then tell me what benefits I was getting. She had no answer so she asked what I wanted.

This is where I put the final nail in the coffin of our marriage. I had been reading TRP extensively and decided at this point that I didn't care if I stayed married or not so I told her that I wanted blow jobs, a clean house and dinner when I got home. Needless to say that didn't go over well and was the subject of our final counseling session. The therapist was digusted with me and I simply sat there and said that's what I want. At this point, my wife said her now famous comment, "if we get divorced, I'm going to rock my next husband's world!" I started interviewing divorce lawyers the next week knowing what was coming.

Divorce

When my wife finally said she wanted a divorce, I simply responded "ok" because I knew it was coming. I then waited for her to file papers so that I'd be the one who got served but she never would. She demanded I move out of the house before she filed. I have no idea why that was her requirement, so I filed instead. I also cut off her access to my paycheck and didn't give her any money at all. She had a part time job that could cover her own stuff.

She kept demanding that I move out and I told her I wouldn't until she agreed in writing to 50/50 parenting time with the kids. She wouldn't agree. She wanted $1000 a month temporarily and to have a 60/40 split on parenting time. I ended up living in the house with her for almost six months until we ended up in court. When we left court, I left with 50/50 parenting time and only had to pay her $800 a month. She isn't very smart.

The divorce dragged on for another few months all while she was running around town messing with several different guys. The main guy was on probation and worked at a second-hand store. She loved telling all her friends about her escapades and her friends husbands would sometimes tell me.

The divorce finally ended when we made an offer that her lawyer couldn't ignore without risking that he might not get paid. She tried to keep fighting but eventually agreed when her lawyer threatened to quit on her. Her lawyer was willing to walk away without getting paid because of her insanity.

In the end, I'm paying her 25% of my salary over the next eight years. It could have been worse, because we were married long enough that I could have been on the hook for lifetime alimony. In addition, I had to pay my lawyer, her lawyer, 50% of all my retirement funds and give her another few thousand dollars to make her go away. It cost me $20 to get married and will cost me over $220,000 to get divorced. I got the only thing I truly wanted which was 50/50 parenting time with our kids.

Lessons Learned

  • Don't live life how others think you should

  • You come first in your own life and everyone else will be better for it

  • Don't forgo your own happiness for the happiness of others

  • Don't get married young. In fact, don't get married

  • Marriage has almost no benefit to the person with the higher income

  • Deal with your own problems NOW!

  • AWALT

  • What she says is irrelevant, only her actions matter

  • Be diligent, gaslighting is real. You naturally want to believe everything told to you by someone who loves you

  • If you're headed for divorce, you have to be two steps ahead of her to be able to get a fair deal. The courts are still far more favorable to women.


I hope this helps some of you see what happens if you are Beta Bucks. Don't let this happen to you. Let me know if you have any other questions I can answer.


[–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (12 children)

I was a 35 y/o bartender/waiter/computer tech and my divorce cost me $250K which I am still paying out on. You didn't end up in jail, I did. Not saying you got off easy, but it could have been worse.

To summarize and paraphrase your entire story - when women get married they often think is full license to treat you like shit. They have you locked in and believe you exist for their benefit. It's solipsism. Your emotional state is not a concern outside her ability to manipulate you into giving her what she wants.

This is a part of the game these cunts play. They abuse you emotionally. If they can control your emotions, they can control you.

They push you to the brink of sanity where you have one of two choices - fold like 7 high poker hand, become utterly servile and completely capitulate your free will - or - seek relief outside the marriage to regain your manhood and self esteem.

The former will give you daily access for your children and the latter will give you chance to stave off a life of being broken and depressed.

If you were anything like me, I tried like hell to do the former, but finally the excrutiating madness of daily life drove me to the latter.

When you ultimately recoil away from your asshole spouse and into the latter choice, they completely lose their shit and enter a vow of lifelong hatred against you, because you had the audacity to not stay in a nightmare of a marriage with a spouse who had zero concern for your happiness and well being.

My ex-wife told me she never wanted to marry me in the first place, but only did so out of obligation, but yet she loathes me over our failed marriage. It makes no sense. But, then again it does make sense when you understand that they see it from a perspective of it being all about them. Narcissism.

You and I we handled our misery wrong. We cheated. We just couldn't take it anymore. We were in miserable, loveless marriages. We were long suffering and were desperate for something to salvage what little self-respect we had left.

We let ourselves get brow beat until something had to give. Why? Because that's what we thought we were supposed to do. We didn't know how to draw proper boundaries and deploy dread. We didn't know how to valuate ourselves properly. We put the happiness our our marriages into the hands of people who had severe narcissistic personality disorders.

We paid the fucking price.

Now... We have learned.

Rise from the ashes like a phoneix brother. The worst of it is behind you.

[–]rp_divorced[S] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I'm happy you made it through. Keep moving forward.

[–]RAL9000 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If they can control your emotions, they can control you.

That's a big Truth in there. Thank you for pointing it out.

[–]lesbianDREAMS 2 points3 points  (7 children)

How do you tell apart the women with narcissistic personality disorders from the 'normal' women?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

In the OPs post at least, he very clearly ignored a huge red flag right in the beginning - a marriage ultimatum. Any chick who says "marry me now or I'm gone" obviously has her eyes on something more than just you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup. This times 1000. Sorry dude.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Check out Dr. Paul Dobransky's MindOS program. Teaches you how to develop as well as screen character qualities. Is expensive but can be downloaded from places on the internet.

Basically the gist of a woman's personality can captured in how good of boundaries she has. Picture a Big imaginary circle with all of you inside of it. Inside this circle is your personality, values, emotions, and reptillian instincts. A woman with a good boundary has a solid circle and while she may have shitty days or thoughts of fucking other people (we all have this), because she has a good boundary you don't need to worry about cheating or bad displacement of emotions. This boundary protects no only what is inside her from leaking out into the environment, but also protection from elements of the environment from leaking in. Which means, just because Mr. Alpha at the work place works with her everyday doesnt mean she is going to be seduced by him.

But your narcissist has several holes in her boundary. Ultimately, a hole in a boundary is the inability to say no (to others or herself) or to hear no in a situation. Obviously she will not come out and say "Yes, I am liable to cheat on you" You have to pick up on this by detecting the holes in her boundary. Does she complain a lot? This means negative energy of the environment enters her boundary and is displaced on you. Does she have entitlement issues like pussy pass (not to be confused with preferences)? Inability to hear no. Does she have a high partner count at an early age with little amount of relationships? This is more of a fault on her behalf in the courtship process (lacks potential of a wife)

This Subreddit would have you believe every girl is going into a relationship with a modus operandi to treat a man like shit, cheat, and take his assets. Its a small population that is truly this sinister and if they think like this, you can screen this out. Two problems. if you notice (not referring to OP here) majority of the guys here that have had this happen to were really young when they got married and don't know how to screen for this kind of stuff (while also not being developed at the same time). The other problem is confirmation bias due to the guys this subreddit attracts.

I can make a bigger post on this if someone wants but it's helped me have good relationships

[–]lesbianDREAMS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude I would love a post on this. If you go ahead with it please let me know when its posted.

Also that part about confirmation bias is becoming more and more rampant with the increasing amount of users on this sub.

[–]tsudonimh 5 points6 points  (1 child)

At the risk of making a joke that the normal ones are narcissistic, you can't really. Not 100%.

How they were raised is a big factor. The kind of friends she has is another.

My wife was raised by her father and 3 brothers after her mother died when she was in primary school. She is as close to thinking like a guy as a woman can get, as she wasn't permitted to get away with shit as she grew up. She is disdainful of the sort of behavior that gets discussed here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The kind of friends she has is another.

This, so much. If you wouldn't date a girl's friends then don't date her. She might be a "nice girl" but if most of her friends are party girls and sluts then what do you think she's like when you're not around?

[–]PlanB_pedofile 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My marriage was approaching the cheating zone. Things were spiraling out of control and it was my own doing. The husband is the captain and I'm ramming this ship into ground. I began looking.... I ended up fucking my ex wife (2nd time married guy)

It was great. God damn best awesome sex. Kinda put in perspective what all that previous marriage was about was just sex and when sex dried up, we didn't have anything else. Luckily I was a redpill reader at the time and I told the exwife that we can fuck, but don't go falling in love with me. (She's on the okcupid carousel). Our fling lasted 4 months as I returned her texts less and less plus she found another money bags that she's trying to convince to raise her two kids.

I began to look inward and deeper into the redpill on mostly endgame. Endgame isn't talked about often here. I did the marriage consoling but with a church pastor. Being biblical, he was traditional in what a husband and wife should be. She was raised religious with conservative traditional parents so she swallowed much of the advice well. It was more on my end. I was failing as a husband because I wasn't leading. I had to step up my game in all areas.

A side hobby of mine is model photography so I'm frequently talking, networking, and working with hot 22 year olds. I don't game any of the models because that will land me on a shit list in the industry, but I have developed a few friendships and connections with a few on various social levels.

This was me pulling dread game. Wife knew about my hobby and I clue her in everything. I began to develop an abundance mentality. I wasn't afraid of divorce. Wife knows I have options, plus even if I'm single for 3 years I'll be fine and happy as a clam while she'll be alone and miserable.

Redpill clued me in more on her teenage maturity. I treated her like a teenager. Using punishment/reward system. She would get praise when she cleans the house, anger when she doesn't. I make the plans. I stopped asking her what to do and instead I began to say "Let's do this". I made plans that will make me happy and stuck with them. My leadership has really began to grow.

My wife's problems were my doing. I wasn't leading her. Wasn't training her nor reward or discipline. It really is like dealing with a 14 year old at times but as a husband and a man, I need to lead by example.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 191 points192 points  (36 children)

It cost me $20 to get married and will cost me over $220,000 to get divorced.

This is so succinct, it should be driven into the brain of every American male before they get any delusions about walking down the aisle. And you're right, she absolutely gaslighted the shit out of you.

Women know exactly what the fuck they are doing when they turn off access to their body in a marriage and start denying sex. If women actually had agency or a shred of honor, they would just be honest, file for divorce, take her half of the shit, and leave. But they don't do that. They KNOW DAMN WELL you will eventually seek out sex where you can get it, then BAM! "Marital Infidelity", it's divorce rape time. She can't get that lawyer on the phone fast enough.

It would be absolutely clever if it wasn't so sinister. Anyhow, at least you avoided the lifetime alimony. Thanks for sharing.

[–]HULKx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was worse off after getting divorced... Same amount of bills and nobody splitting them with me.

[–]manwhy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Women absolutely have agency. Not over their emotions or their actions, really, but you can bet your ass they'll kick and scream if they think their agency to choose where, when, why, how, and who they fuck is in jeopardy. Hell, that's what marriage once did--remove the wife's sexual agency!

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (33 children)

I don't understand women like this. When your man wants to fuck, how can you not want to? Like, sex is fucking great. I wish my boyfriend would let me give him blowjobs more. God. I cannot understand women who don't find happiness in making the one they love happy. What the fuck is wrong with them? It's mutually fucking profitable, you stupid bitch.

I don't know if this qualifies as a rant post, but I just cannot fucking understand what possesses a woman to act without dignity, honor, and pride in her relationship. Why do women lose such respect for their men? I just don't get why this happens. How can you love a man without respecting him?

Or maybe they don't, and there are just a lot of cold-hearted, mean-spirited women out there who don't care about anything other than themselves.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 130 points131 points  (13 children)

It's actually a topic discussed often here. It basically goes like this:

Woman likes man. Maybe she likes his rugged good looks, maybe it's the tone in his voice, the way he dresses, the "I know what you're thinking" look in his eyes when he looks at her. Who knows? But for whatever reason, woman says to herself "I'm going to be fucking this man, and soon". Women, remember, are the gatekeepers of sex.

But over the course of time, be it weeks, months, or years, woman starts trying to "betafy" her man. See, woman is nothing if not pragmatic, and she knows that the very things that attracted HER to her man could (and will) also attract other women. Woman does not like this. So she starts a slow process, albiet with complicit cooperation from her man, of turning him into something less desirable. Poker night with the boys? Romcoms on the couch is better, right? Saturdays at the beach drinking cold ones? Come shopping with me instead, baby! 5 days at the gym? Isn't that a little much when you could be spending more time with ME!?! Don't you think you should be doing more household chores, honey?!?!

Then over time, what woman fails to realize, is the very things she's doing to secure her long term provisioning is also simultaneously reducing HER ATTRACTION to him as well. Who wants to give blowjobs to a loser who's slowly putting on weight, pushing a vacuum cleaner around the house, and holding his woman's handbags at the mall? Woman starts finding man a pathetic excuse of his former self.

So eventually, woman starts seeing her man more like one of her woman friends and less like the man she was thrilled to have marathon sex sessions with on a Sunday afternoon.

And through it all, the man is truly oblivious as to why his woman won't fuck him anymore. I mean, he's been doing everything his woman has asked him to do, right? I do half the chores, I cook, I clean, and my woman won't fuck me!! Why?!?!

It's because he's become an emasculated bitch in his woman's eyes. And women don't find emasculated bitches "hot". They treat them like, well...bitches.

tl;dr - women create what they think they want their man to be, then become disgusted by their creation.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Then over time, what woman fails to realize, is the very things she's doing to secure her long term provisioning is also simultaneously reducing HER ATTRACTION to him as well. Who wants to give blowjobs to a loser who's slowly putting on weight, pushing a vacuum cleaner around the house, and holding his woman's handbags at the mall? Woman starts finding man a pathetic excuse of his former self.

I've lived this and it's never too late to get your mojo back. Better still, always hold onto your nuts (maintain a masculine frame).

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (5 children)

That's horrible. The moment anyone tries to change their partner things are bad. If a woman is insecure enough to think that just because other women are attracted to her man, that she has to change him? then she shouldn't be dating anyone. She's too immature and not ready for that. It's gross to believe that would ever be okay.

I will admit I felt those insecurities about my boyfriend in the beginning. And I realized the only thing I can change is myself. So if I was insecure because an old female friend was pretty and fit, then I would diet and work out and be prettier and fitter than her. That actually ended up in me being a total fucking hiking junkie (which in turn helped eliminate my insecurities), and I can say with confidence that I don't care if pretty girls talk to my boyfriend. He's not with them. He's with me. He comes home to me every night. He wakes up to me every morning. He helps me build my hearthstone decks, not them. He takes me to France, not them. There's something about me that he loves, and all I can do is be the best me I can and have the discipline to follow through.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, I guess. I mean, he doesn't really do these things anymore. I think he did them more to motivate me than to get me to stay attracted to him. I will never not be attracted to him. I still watch him naked like it's the first time. Excited and nervous. And admiring. I don't know. I just don't believe in taking anything for granted, least of all a significant other. You just shouldn't treat the person you love that way.

    [–]1KissTheBridesmaid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This is a very good explanation. I should add to this that this ‘betafication’ process as you call it is not primarily to avoid other women becoming attracted to him. Women do this to check if their man’s spine is intact. The example: ‘why play Poker with the boys, stay home with me’ is a subconscious fitness test.

    Remember, women do not want to win arguments, they want to be with someone who wins the argument and refuses to be a puppy dog. Most men fail these tests. We are taught that to make a women happy you must give in to her needs. Unfortunately what a woman thinks she needs or says she needs is more often than not the opposite of what she actually needs.

    [–]BoyMeetsHarem 19 points20 points  (7 children)

    No offense, but you are obviously with a man you look up to and respect. He turns you on, makes you feel protected and supported, and probably gives you status with your social circle.

    Things would be a lot different in your mind if you felt trapped in a relationship with someone you didn't look up to, who you felt was holding you back, and who made you feel embarrassed to be in public with or talk about with your friends. (OP: I'm not saying this directly applies to your post, it's just one possible example)

    What if you felt stuck with someone who you felt lied to you? Tricked you into being with them by misrepresenting what kind of man they really were. Do you really think you would want to fuck someone you felt total resentment and revulsion towards? Would you really want to put that liar's dick in your mouth?

    That's what post-wall women feel like after they have settled for someone they think is beneath them in the interest of financial security and domestic companionship. And it gets worse and worse because society tells those men to double down on being a supplicating wimp to try and make their unhappy wives happier. It's a vicious downward spiral.

    Maybe not what happened in OP's situation exactly, but a very common scenario when husbands try to follow the "happy wife, happy life" mantra along the modern feminist script.

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (6 children)

    I get that explains it a little better, if the woman feels lied to and this justifies her actions by that. It's still super fucked up, but it makes more sense.

    I'm definitely with a man I respect and love. He's definitely alpha. He doesn't give me social status, though. I guess technically in that regard by society's stupid fucking standards he does the opposite. He's the smartest person I've ever met, but by society's standards I could be dating a doctor or a man that "provides(betabux?)." I find that stupid though. I make more money than him, but I don't care. He forces me to continue to better myself by his sheer awesomeness. I don't know. He was my first kiss when I was 13, and even though we dated other people before getting together when I was 18, it's always been him.

    He just has so much charisma and the best bullshit meter. We've lived together for 5 years, been to Europe and road tripped together. He's just like the fucking best thing that's ever happened to me. He opens my mind and challenges me. And I like to think I challenge him.

    I guess I subscribe to the idea that being a 50s housewife is ideal as fuck. Men and women should play to their strengths. And both should always Strive to be classy.

    When women stop trying to be classy and elegant creatures, you get the trashy, narcissistic, money-grabbing sluts. At least, maybe that's the case. That's what id like to think anyways. That those women simply lost their way because they didn't learn the proper way to woman. That it's okay to want to be submissive, to enjoy a relationship where your husband/boyfriend calls the shots. That you should be a good, generous, giving partner in bed and out. That giving him a blowjob doesn't demean you.

    I just wish women would fucking learn that feminism is teaching you to lose respect for yourself and your significant other, and that it should be abandoned. Because if you think it's okay to treat a man like OP's ex wife treated him, you are a fucked up woman. It goes against what it means to be a woman.

    [–]Maxxxz1994 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Your man is lucky to have a woman like you.

    [–]drfatpanda 14 points15 points  (4 children)

    You're a rare breed. American culture and current society grows women in different ways. The modern feminist ideals have turned men into just tools of living life better.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    That's so horrible. That's not... That's not how things should be.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    That's not how things should be.

    Welcome to The Red Pill. That's the entire point of the philosophy.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    No wonder all the basic bitches at /twox hate this sub. It threatens their basic bitch (aka shitty human being with shitty morals) way of life.

    [–]drfatpanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It is what it is. That's what I use trp for, to learn how to prevent myself from just becoming another tool for women (which I was completely before finding it), and to do what I can to change things for the future and my possible children.

    [–]kenatogo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Last paragraph is absolutely accurate.

    [–]YourKarmaMeansNothin 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Yeah, it's the last paragraph.

    They don't fall in love with the MAN. They (that type of woman) fall in love with his money / social status etc etc.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    What horrible nasties. I hope they learn the error of their ways. :(

    [–]arrayay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Or maybe they don't, and there are just a lot of cold-hearted, mean-spirited women out there who don't care about anything other than themselves.

    I think you found the answer.

    Or maybe for most women cash and prizes is greater than love.

    [–]KasperskyEmployee 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Wanna get married?

    please spare me oh bot overlord :(

    [–][deleted]  (68 children)

    [deleted]

    [–][deleted]  (19 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]FagCocoOil 58 points59 points  (12 children)

      I was thinking of writing a guide for Red Pill newcomers. Yes, they have the sidebar, but what if they had a condensed post that covers a couple of topics - women, health & fitness, marriage, career, assets.

      What do you guys think?

      [–]1FloranHunter 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      A primer would be a good resource to direct people since "read the sidebar" rarely works. It would also provide newbies a place to skim to get back on track.

      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      A strong into into asset protection is something I would be interested. Fitness, women, marriage(and the idea lack of it) are covered pretty often here.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children)

      Do it. It would be great if we can get 5-10 RPers with real experience in this to all chime in and give some perspective. Across the rest of reddit and even in TRP, people don't really know what they are talking about and are just parroting what they heard in whatever book they read of story they heard about a guy who avoided divorce rape by moving to Armenia or whatever.

      [–]jackbauer634 5 points6 points  (5 children)

      OK two general principles:

      (1) A bad asset protection plan might be worse than no plan at all. (2) Offshore/foreign trusts/entities/accounts are only as useful as your willingness to relocate to those jurisdictions.

      There are some other things to consider:

      (a) Assets before marriage are non-marital property; however (b) A judge might order you to pay spousal/child support, even if you don't have a job, in which case non-marital assets become de-facto marital assets when the asset seizures start. (c) Retirement accounts, protected from almost all creditors on public policy grounds, since these represent your future income when you can no longer provide for yourself, are fair game in divorce, and in general cannot be included in an asset protection plan. (d) The IRS gives you a long rope, and you can easily hang yourself trying to protect assets, only to end up owing Uncle Sam huge amounts, which will be used to provide entitlement benefits for single mothers.

      Read this book five times:

      http://www.amazon.com/Asset-Protection-Concepts-Strategies-Protecting/dp/0071432167

      Then you need to understand the law in your state, since state-specific things are very important. What works in some states does not work in others, because some state's laws are more hosed than others.

      The basic strategy is to organize your affairs so that insane family law is thwarted by, for example, sane business law.

      For example, the single best asset protection structure out there is probably an LLC when used for a legitimate business purpose with one or more business partners. This is because assets in a partnership-type business have been protected under English common law doctrine for hundreds of years. Just need to do your homework.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A 10 page primer compiling all the sidebar complete with links would be...sidebar material.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Up vote for you, I'm interested as fuck in this kind of stuff.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      While I think this is all good, I think the better advice would be to get a good attorney before you are married. One thing I made sure to do before leaving college was to make friends with a lawyer, a doctor, an accountant and a banker.

      [–]MartialWay 9 points10 points  (9 children)

      This can be of surprisingly little protective value unless your body is also in Antigua. Family courts most common and most devastating weapon is "X amount of money a week or you go to jail". Then it's up to YOU to get the money, or you go to jail.

      [–]coochiesmoochie 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      You're talking about payments made from FUTURE INCOME. Asset protection funds are used to protect your PAST SAVINGS like retirement accounts, savings accounts, house, car, etc. And they're quite effective at that.

      [–]watersign 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Got any particular websites/books that you reccomend looking into? I want to do this immediately

      [–]1aguy01 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      My GF was telling me recently about how her mom hired a PI and he found that my GF's dad had $8 million in offshore accounts. I believe the guy put it there several years after they were already married (he got the money from a big contract which he lied about how much he made from it). Is it possible her mom could steal this money in a divorce?

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Quite possibly. Money put there BEFORE the marriage (2 years before to be safe) should be relatively safe. But any income during the marriage is considered a shared resource. It's joint income - he closed the deal when they were married - meaning it's 1/2 hers in the eye of the law, no matter where it is.

      It really depends on who's lawyer is better, what state, what was their prenup if any, and so on. If she can prove those assets are joint assets, which might be hard (say the PI found this out through a method that wouldn't be admissable in court) or it might be easy, I'd say he's going to have to pay some.

      [–]coochiesmoochie 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Wouldn't any trust fund be immune to litigation? Have you heard of kiss trust?

      On another note, can you do an AMA?

      [–]NakedAndBehindYou 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      My future wife

      If you're going to all that work to prevent being divorce raped... then WHY STILL GET MARRIED?

      [–]drcross 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      All it takes is one crazy plate hitting the wall and you have child support, you don't necessarily have to get married

      [–]demoneyes905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I am not very well versed in offshore trusts. Isn't this illegal in some way since even the IRS can't touch it (tax evasion, etc.)? Or is this aftertax income that you just put in a series of international accounts?

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Thank you so very much for this information. I hope all goes well for you, you deserve it.

      [–]Glenbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sad thing is this: if I ever opted to divorce a SAHM, I would be willing to pay alimony. But given the way thong work now, I would need to consider this before being married.

      [–]fl3wy 74 points75 points  (1 child)

      I am so grateful for two things. One is the internet, which makes discussions like these possible. The second one is people like OP, that take time to share these warnings. I was going to end up so Beta Bucks if it wasn't for guys like you. Thank you.

      [–]theredpillacct 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Same, I was raised with the whole mentality that i should get a job and pay for my wife. I love you guys, thank you for opening my eyes.

      [–]neveragoodtime 33 points34 points  (9 children)

      She used shopping as therapy the rest of our marriage

      I think this is somehow comforting to women who take the beta bucks route out. I'm not in love with my husband, but at least I have these nice shoes. The last satisfied they are with the AF, the more they milk the BB.

      I cannot emphasize this enough, do not settle for being the beta bucks in a relationship. Women may have two sexual strategies, but ever since no fault divorce marriage 2.0 men only have one. If you find yourself as BB, there is nothing you can do but eject, work on yourself, and find a girl that sees you as AF. BB used to be the strategy only of desperate women, but now, the primary strategy is to get the house, the kids, the divorce, the alimony, and then look for AF.

      [–]Incubuns 9 points10 points  (8 children)

      Can we please not buy into this pop psychology bullshit? The idea that shopping is EVER "therapy" is just a meme created by women to give a patina of justification to spending joint marital funds on things they want. That's all it is - I want it, I bought it, how do I justify it?

      [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (6 children)

      except studies have found an endorphin release the moment women shop and swipe their card, giving evidence and credence that retail therapy can be an addiction much like for adrenaline junkies and nymphos. They become addicted to the act and the chemical response of their own bodies to it.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Good posts in this set of comments. We should refer to it as "shopping addiction" and acknowledge that the gynocentric superculture erroneously labels it "therapy."

      [–]no_face 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I believe its oxytocin, not endorphin for shopping

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]8jh 9 points10 points  (6 children)

      Not dumb but just intent on being lazy. They know there's no real prospects in the field so it suggests that they intend to leech off their current or future life partner

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I married a woman with a technical degree. Doesn't improve the man's odds, I know.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Well ain't saying tech degree = good, just that non tech is bad.

      [–]1TVTestPattern 66 points67 points  (19 children)

      I posted this to another thread.

      As soon as the judge found out what kind of money I make, it was on like Donkey Kong. Nothing else mattered... not how much mom makes, or the circumstances of our respective homes. My (female) judge saw she could award the max support and bam... done. Not only that, but my ex claimed we were split 6 months before we actually split and was awarded back support ($10k). Then almost 1 year after the judgement she went back to the judge claiming I never paid the "back" support, despite the court seizing that money from my employer. Without batting an eye, the court ordered me to pay it again, plus interest and penalties. When my attorney challenged this ruling my judge threatened me with contempt including jail time. So I paid the fake back support including interest and penalties, then did it again... 25K. Add that to the monthly support for the last 5 years, and attorney fees (mine & hers) and where am I today? $155,000 and counting gentlemen. After all is said and done I'll have paid this bitch $350,000 by the time my daughter is 18. Of course this doesn't include all the "other" expenses along the way... the insurance, tuition, vehicles, clothing, etc... easily $500k. This sad situation is why it's the max... the judge could care fucking less about my daughter's welfare... but she's getting paid yo. You have been warned...

      [–]Misterlulz 13 points14 points  (7 children)

      When my attorney challenged this ruling my judge threatened me with contempt including jail time.

      Really? I didn't know that a judge could just throw you in jail for simply wanting to appeal a court decision?

      [–]1TVTestPattern 18 points19 points  (6 children)

      Then you have not been to Conroe Texas.

      [–]Misterlulz 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Wow. Guess I won't be going to Texas anytime soon . . .

      [–]1TVTestPattern 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Just don't get married here. Well... or anywhere...

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      Judge's name? Considering a move to Conroe or Frisco.

      [–]1TVTestPattern 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Frisco is better... Conroe is a fucking pit. That would be this man-hating cunt.

      [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (10 children)

      Sickening and disgusting. Have you considered leaving the country?

      [–]thibit 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      Good luck. One of my family's friends was denied his passport due to outstanding support debt.

      [–]lesbianDREAMS 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      I've always been curious as to which countries have the best divorce laws in favour of men.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Definetly the ones who also practice the sharia...scnr.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Suddenly Islam doesn't seem so repulsive.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Blue Pill me really hated the way women are portrayed in the Koran. But now? There's actually a lot of wisdom in there about female behavior and what it takes to find and keep a good one.

      [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 22 points23 points  (4 children)

      I made $1740 a month gross, having two kids stuck me with $1000 a month in support. You make much more than me and paid less support while having three kids. I was military and it left me living in my car and crashing on couches. There was no way in hell I was going to tell them when I was promoted, because they would have simply raised the support to 68% or more which is allowed by state law.

      The point is, you could afford a lawyer that was willing to fight for you, I couldn't. I had to take out a loan to pay mine. that was 14 years ago. Three years ago I hired a female lawyer to switch custody of my youngest, fix some shit the state fucked up, and she screwed me over.

      End point, never get married. There are no unicorns, the laws are designed to fuck you and reward her. You're not special, it will happen to you as easy as he and I.

      [–]rp_divorced[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      I'm sorry that happened to you. Your support payment is outrageous.

      The $800 I payed was only temporary. It is much higher now that the divorce is final.

      I could do another long post on divorce lawyers but it wouldn't be fitting for this sub.

      [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      I only have until April or May then I am done paying her. I can't wait to get all my income, it will be the first time since 2001.

      [–]PrisonerOfLife 20 points21 points  (13 children)

      Jesus, the next time I have the urge to get married (which will likely be NEVER after reading anecdotes like this), I think I'll take up cocaine instead.

      [–]rp_divorced[S] 9 points10 points  (12 children)

      might not be cheaper, but it would be more fun!

      [–][deleted]  (4 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]lesbianDREAMS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Now your just rubbing it in to OP

        [–]Unfiltered_Soul 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        ...but then youll be hooked for life.... again and eventually it will get worst.

        [–]Panzer_Geist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        It's not crystal meth. I do blow every now and then - I can have months of dry spells in between. It's nowhere near as addictive as Hollywood makes it out to be. It actually makes me extremely productive.

        [–]Panzer_Geist 5 points6 points  (6 children)

        Daymn you must be snorting some exclusive Colombian snow laced with unicorn horns off a mafia boss' wife if your blow is that expensive.

        trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay trpbotisgay

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]elevul 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Min character limit. If your post is shorter than x characters the TRP bot deletes it automatically. So he padded his post with insults to the bot so it doesn't get deleted.

          [–]TheGodWalrus 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          The bot auto deletes posts under a set amount of characters.

          [–]DexterousRichard 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          I don't get it. Lots of my comments are short and don't get deleted. Yours didn't.

          [–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 46 points47 points  (1 child)

          I wish more people here would read this

          [–]robesta 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          Agreed. This would be a great sidebar addition.

          [–]cwschizzy 14 points15 points  (45 children)

          Sorry it happened to you, but at least you're past it now. The past can serve as a great motivator.

          [–][deleted]  (44 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 48 points49 points  (43 children)

            I'm 33 and my parents have just recently stopped bugging me with the "when are you gonna give us grandchildren" speech. I decided to be brutally honest with them, and I told them that "today's generation of American women are not respectable, and they have pitiful morals that aren't worth the investment of marriage."

            I didn't say what I really wanted, which was "today's American women are trashy whores who aren't feminine, and are good for nothing more than being a cum dumpster", because my mother is basically the only woman on the planet I still have respect for.

            [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (8 children)

            I think this generation of American women are mostly trashy whores who aren't feminine, but I want you to know there are still some out there who don't meet this sweeping generalization. Most of them, yeah. But there are some of us who believe in having integrity and respect while maintaining the elegance and class that should define femininity. There are still some who take their jobs as gatekeepers to sex seriously, and will "open the gates" as long as their man maintains his to commitment open, too.

            [–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 18 points19 points  (7 children)

            Well, I'll grant you a little crack at a NAWALT, there. But I always refrain to my classic analogy when this topic is discussed, when someone invariably says "not all women are trashy whores".

            Say I had 10 cages at the zoo, each of them with a ferocious tiger inside. Good looking tigers, too, strong, fast, all great specimens of the species. Now we've done some extensive behavioral studies, and we've come to conclude that, for the most part, there is a high probability that the tiger will maul you to death given the opportunity. However, we have determined that 2 of the tigers have demonstrated a docile streak, and have shown a passivity towards humans and won't maul you.

            I'll pay you $5000 to climb into one of the tiger cages and hang out for 15 minutes. Are you getting in?

            This is what many "RP outsiders" fail to understand about the concept of "AWALT". Of course, we're grown adults and we do know that "not all women are like that". But it's just safer, in today's day in age with the family court system the way it is, to assume that they are "all like that".

            [–]dantesrage13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I work at a blood bank. We have whats called "universal precautions". It mean treating each blood product like its potentially infectious (even though its been tested). NABALT (not all bloods are like that), but always wear your gloves regardless.... thats how i see it... maybe we can use the term "universal precautions" in RP?

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

            Uh, I would probably get in because tigers are fucking cool, and it's so worth it man. But I also tend to have terrible discernment, and this is why I am so thankful for my boyfriend and his wisdom. He completes me: and helps me from doing stupid shit like trying to hang out with the animals that will kill me.

            But on a serious note, I definitely get what you're saying here. I think if a woman proves herself otherwise, though, you should keep her. Put a ring (figuratively, you don't actually need to buy her shit, but I like to subscribe to olden time customs) on that gem of a woman because if you want a life partner who actually does the things I said, you shouldn't let them go.

            But I get why a man would not want to jump in a relationship when most women seem to be crazy. This is probably why I have a hard time finding female friends of my own. I just don't get this basic bitch culture.

            [–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I'm sorry, the diagnosis is "basic bitch" lol. http://youtu.be/PaghIdSJKvQ

            [–]heeb 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            I have a hard time finding female friends of my own

            Oh, I would love for you to become my wife's friend :)

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Ugh. It's really very difficult to be a woman who doesn't agree with the status quo. I slut shame (this is a stupid term. Women should feel bad for being shitty gatekeepers to sex. No one should fuck without real discernment) and other women try to shame me for slut shaming? Like, don't defend a girl who has fucked 100+ dudes by 24. Esp if the last time she was tested for STDs age had only slept with 6 dudes and that was 4 years ago. That's not right.

            Anyways, if your wife is on reddit, I would love to befriend her.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (32 children)

            Consider getting a surrogate mother to produce a child for you, and have sole custody. Your parents might even pay.

            [–]_and_a_PhD 10 points11 points  (5 children)

            This, and adoption are essentially impossible for men as you are assumed to be a child molester.

            If you were to get a surrogate, and in highly likely chance she takes your money and runs, the court will not look in your favor. Even then, if she changes her mind later she can easily get 50/50 custody.

            For adoption. Yeah right. No adoption agency in the country would let a single man adopt a child. EVER. Even for gay couples, it is very rare for this to be allowed. At best, some of the foreign agencies may allow it.

            It is only recently that men even have a hope of getting sole custody in family court and even then the woman has to murder one of the children for a court to grant sole custody. Drugs, ok for a woman. Sleeping around, ok for the woman. Leaving the kids with a criminal boyfriend, ok for the woman. None are ok for a man and will lose custody instantly.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]Mans_Right_To_Choose 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              What did they do when they "eyed them suspiciously."

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I google'd the options. As little as $10k to do it in India. $50-$100k in America. I think it's possible. It should become common.

              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (18 children)

              Are you the same guy who keeps suggesting this silly idea or are there more than one of you?

              [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              Never considered something like that. What do you have against it out of interest?

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              There's more than one. Should be many.

              [–]lightfire409 2 points3 points  (5 children)

              I have one big problem with this, and its my kid is going to have half his genes from a surrogate mother. No, thanks. If I have to search the earth for a gal who's worthy of giving me kids I will, but I'm not going to cop-out by buying a surrogate mother.

              Edit: To expand, I really believe a child needs a mother and father present for a proper development. If your just single fathering things you can't give them the constant love and care a mother can.

              [–]PlusGoody 12 points13 points  (3 children)

              Egg donor. 5'10" 125 lb girl who rows crew at Harvard. Yours for $15k. Use same donor eggs so your kids are full siblings.

              Good healthy surrogate: $50k per kid.

              Chinese nanny with a degree from a respectable Beijing college so your kids grow up respectful and speaking Mandarin. Yours for $50k a year.

              Not my way of parenting but not too shabby either.

              [–]Apollo1982 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              You give me hope sir.

              Although I'd rather personally plow the 5'10" Harvard rower...

              [–]elevul 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Agreed, you actually have the possibility of getting much better female genes from donors than from impregnating a woman.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              You can get egg donors.

              I don't think it's a cop-out under the current legal environment. Don't under estimate your ability to raise a child. It's too easy to consider yourself a cop-out, yet millions of women will chose to parent alone without having their abilities questioned.

              [–]youreunbelieveable 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              Good job buddy! I just closed my divorce too it cost me a quarter million worth every penny

              [–]3rt41 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              Man i am sorry to hear what happened to you.

              It's a fucking war that the majority of us don't even know is taking place, until your face gets smashed by a flying bullet.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Any guy that sits back and observes his friends and their actions right around 26-28 will tell you that. Once 30 or so hits, it gets messy.

              [–][deleted]  (5 children)

              [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              In Canada (when last I inquired) a prenup gets tossed the moment a kid is born.

              Otherwise it's kid of silly to have lawyers fight over it when you can get an accountant to write up the fair market value of all the assets the day before you get married. Any gain is divided between the 2 parties. Shit like alimony though is a bit harder but if you're a CEO of a company and you marry a stripper then you've got bigger problems than alimony.

              [–]youreunbelieveable 17 points18 points  (3 children)

              More prenups are thrown out than enforced

              [–]__KnighT__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              This is untrue. Most prenups are honored as long as it is done properly - some time before the marriage and under the guidance of legal counsel for both sides.. Please do not post misinformation.

              [–]tedcase 8 points9 points  (1 child)

              don't get married

              Marriage has almost no benefit to the person with the higher income

              I wish this could be put in bold and double sized.

              [–]Good2Go5280 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              Nothing good can come of admitting to infidelity. Nothing.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Unless you're the wife who cheated. You still get your beta bux via divorce-rape, and can even hamster it as his fault for your slipping (not enough attention, etc)

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

              Right at the top of the "Lessons Learned" section you should put "Never, ever, marry a woman with a Women's Studies degree. The type of person who signs up for that major will never make a good wife.

              [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Worse, that kind of woman is trained on how to make your existence a living hell. May as well rename the course to Marital-Friction Studies.

              [–]1kick6 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              but, but, but. Women don't do this! All they want is to get married and have a husband who splits things equally and they'll love them forever! /s

              I just don't see how anyone can read this, and still believe that marriage isn't a huge risk. But I guess everybody thinks their snowflake specialprincess would never do that..

              In the end, 25% of your salay to make the misery go away, while expensive, is fucking worth it.

              [–][deleted]  (3 children)

              [deleted]

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I missed my chance for this setup. Don't miss yours.

              [–]Unfiltered_Soul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              The things you would imagine while going through something like this will blow peoples virgin minds.

              [–]pabloe168 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              How do you set that up legally speaking?

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Thanks for sharing your story man!

              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

              Oh my god everything about this woman sickens me.

              What boggles my mind is why does she deserve any of your money? She dug her own grave and now it's being filled with gold bars just because she's a woman.

              [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 10 points11 points  (4 children)

              The precedence for this was set back when women actually did contribute to the housework and take care of their man while he worked. Not only that but women's quality of life could truly suffer in the event of a divorce because she didn't have the same earning opportunities a man does. Now that we have spent two generations listening to and creating laws revolving around feeeeellllliiings, women can get away with doing jack shit and you are a piece of shit husband who is asking too much of her by expecting someone that sits at home all day to, you know, actually do stuff while the man works.

              When my marriage was at it's worst my wife didn't work but would let dishes set for a week, food wrappers everywhere, all kinds of nasty shit, if I didn't clean it. When I calmly told her she was expected to actually contribute she hamstered so much shit about it being my fault and then her family hamstered a bunch of excuses for her. I was working a minimum of 14 hour days six days a week and even though she never cooked, cleaned, had sex with me, emotionally abused me and broke shit during angry outbursts, I was seen as a demanding husband. It worked because I was just too tired to fight back. Women are children. They will constantly test any boundaries you set for them and then be mad at you when you point out what they have done wrong.

              [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              Just go over to any female-dominated sub and try throwing around the word 'obligation'. You literally could not get them to froth harder if you suggested that Hitler was the greatest force of good in the 20th century.

              Western women are completely broken. They literally don't understand the concept of working towards something, everything has to be given to them on a silver platter.

              [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I am not obligated to anything for you, shit lord! We have been oppressed for centuries, how about you do the god damn dishes?!?! This isn't the 1950s! Oh, wait...go into a STEM field where all the money is at? Lol no thanks I got my bachelors in Womyn's Studies with a minor in Cis to Transgender Intersex Communicational Language in the Mid Rennaissance. If it weren't for the patriarchy I would totally make more moneys than you. And I probably could have been in the NBA hall of fame if it weren't for people making fun of Womyn's Sports and oppressing me. I am beautiful on the inside and you should love me even though I gained 80 lbs. I eat because I am depressed because you are gone all the time! Just don't work so much! It's your fault I am fat, you abusive fucking bastard. Fuck you, cook your own god damned meals. Like I am your slave or something.

              [–]2johnnight 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              My friend complained recently that he has to do the vacuming when he comes back from work. His wife told him she is too tired from babysitting/playing with their single child :)

              [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Because this generation of women are spoiled whores. I wished I would have found TRP before we got married. I will continue to post about it to educate younger men on the reality of marriage, though.

              [–]YourKarmaMeansNothin 7 points8 points  (4 children)

              I still don't understand how anybody rationalises having the man pay $??? per month - and the rest - to the woman. Surely, if the argument is the woman needs it for the kids then the man should have the fucking kids.

              Uck, I wish every man in the world could read this story. I'm just glad you didn't leave your own house when she told you to, that woulda made me sick.

              [–]neveragoodtime 4 points5 points  (3 children)

              Exactly this. Most men could afford a full time nanny for the amount they pay the ex to watch the kids. All divorces need to start with 50/50 custody, which can only be given up voluntarily by one parent. It's easier for the courts to take away a divorced dad's kids than a single mother drug addict. If the wife wants to claim he's criminally abusive, have her prove that in a court of law where it belongs, not a kangaroo family court.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              All divorces need to start with 50/50 custody, which can only be given up voluntarily by one parent.

              Funny how NOW actively fought against this kind of thinking. Women are oppressed, except when they aren't.

              [–]IAmTheIlluminatiAMA 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              My friend had tons of character witnesses to vouch for him, excellent job reviews, was intelligent, well spoken and dressed nice for court, took regular drug tests for work, had proof his ex wife would leave for days at a time to smoke crack and fuck other men, had video of her smoking crack one room away from her son, and the bitch even admitted to the judge in court that two days prior she had smoked crack and the judge STILL gave temporary custody to the woman until the end of the trial. Even with all of that he barely got majority custody and had to continue to fight her for years. He finally just started paying her off to leave lawyers out of it since it was cheaper.

              [–]commandliner 4 points5 points  (1 child)

              annnnd this is why im staying single!

              [–]SupALupRT 10 points11 points  (1 child)

              Had a guy drop the "bombshell" on me that people are starting to realize marriage is a shitty deal for men. I smirked and said I could of told you that years ago. :[

              [–]myotheraccountisa911 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              Where is this going? I'm not going to waste my time if this isn't going to lead to marriage

              I don't want to be that guy but fuck off. Fuck right off. Even as the enormous pussy I am I'd tell her to get lost, get her stuff and go.

              [–]Scoundrel_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              A battle-ax in the making... Being with you is a "waste of time." No "I enjoy your company," "Spending time together is fun," etc. This college junior demands that the relationship must lead to marriage — otherwise YOU Mister are wasting MY time!

              [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Don't forgo your own happiness for the happiness of others

              Print this out, laminate it and post it above your bed. I can't think of a more encompassing sentence to take away from TRP.

              You will never be happy trying to make others happy at your own expense. Thinking that your partner will naturally reciprocate making you happy is how you end up miserable.

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [deleted]

              [–]1Gavlan_Wheel 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              When someone makes something up and then tries to convince you that it's real.

              "Remember when I made dinner for you?" "No." "You must be getting senile. I remember it clearly."

              [–]whitey_male 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              So this "patriarchy" that feminists keep on talking about, ie that your average male schmuck and everyone like him is oppressing women, is epic gas lighting. Its exactly the same as the Nazis blaming Jews for every single problem in the world.

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              [–]alarmclock000 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              As a young guy who recently swallowed TRP, thank you for sharing. This is all very helpful.

              [–]papadop 3 points4 points  (6 children)

              I just don't understand how the legal system is so blatantly sexist. You got a "good deal" but 25% of your fucking salary is fucking outrageous!!!

              If a divorce is coming, isn't there a way you can transfer out all your money to a secure bank (outside the US)? Before it can be seized? Can you cash out and store it in cash somewhere?

              What happens if you just don't pay her (and leave the country?)

              It's immoral for her to take your assets -- why should you even obey a court that is unjust? I understand laws are laws, but honestly, stupid and discriminatory laws should be broken.

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

              Immoral or not. The law allows it.

              If I don't pay I'll eventually go to jail. I'm thinking divorce rape still isn't as bad as ass rape.

              If I tried to hide the money, her attorney would hire a forensic accountant to track it down for a cost of $20,000 and the judge would make me pay for it. See how bad this can get?

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Fake your own death? I've considered this when looking at how much I (already) owe in student loans.

              [–]papadop 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Assuming you know/suspect divorce is coming, could you give it as a gift to a friend/family member to take posession over it?

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              The courts have seen every trick in the book so you wouldn't get away with it.

              This is just one more risk you have to be willing to take if you get married.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              Why did you have to pay her lawyer? Was that part of the deal that you made? I'm kind of confused.

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              I agreed to it in order to get the deal done. I ran the risk of paying alimony for the rest of my life if we went to court. At least this way I knew the limits of the damage.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              A smart play from the looks of it.

              [–]kjvlv 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              if it flies, floats or fucks,, rent it never buy. I shudder to think what mine will cost.. Just started to lawyer up. The 50/50 child visitation thing is what is stopping me. I could not take being a part time dad. kids are legal soon then it is game on.

              [–]Revel4ti0n 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Thank you, and i highliy appreciate the strory you've shared with us and your experience.

              [–]lesbianDREAMS 1 point2 points  (3 children)

              What is gaslighting exactly? I've heard of it before

              [–]stemgang 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Wow! Excellent write-up. Thanks for sharing.

              [–]whitethong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Indeed. It was an awesome post.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              The more I read these types of stories, the scarier marriage seems to me.

              Does anyone have information on how this is handled outside the US, like western-europe for example?(I take it OP's from the US? seems that way from how you type)

              [–]ben0wn4g3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Do you think she was cheating during the relationship? How was your sex life?

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I'm not 100% sure but she was with two different guys within 2 weeks of telling me she wanted a divorce. Seems like she had them ready to go if it wasn't already happening.

              [–]blarggggggggggg 1 point2 points  (3 children)

              Man I regret so much getting married. I really think we're headed for divorce and I'm fucking terrified at all the money my wife is going to leech from me. Am an so disgusted with myself and afraid for my financial future. Marriage is a bad joke. Thanks for a great post.

              [–]rp_divorced[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              Every day that passes will mean more money you have to give her. You can't change the past so if your marriage is done, get out now, take the hit and move on.

              If you bought a stock and it tanked, holding it on the hope that it will rebound is not a very sound strategy.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Blowjobs, a clean house, and dinner on the table is the bare minimum reasonable services the SOHM should be able to provide. Anything less than this unreasonable. Interesting how the therapist takes her side in the face of a totally reasonable demand!

              [–]tk425 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              it disgusts me that even in this day and age a woman with a masters somehow still "deserves" alimony. make your own god damn money with your education.

              [–]watersign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              damn, sorry to hear this. im living my life for me!

              [–]MagisterD 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Some days I'm glad that I'm both single and sterile....

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