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LTR wants a break on vacation because she wants to feel "free" (self.asktrp)

submitted by GetrichonIMP

I'll make this quite short. Dated this women for 3 years. Would go to family events etc. Half way through her 6 month vacation she tells me that she wants a break. I was shocked but not completely surprised. So I do what any trpr would do. I block her from every source of social media. Unfortunately I am dealing with a large amount of grief. Any recommendations to get through this as quickly as possible?

EDIT: Massive shout out to everyone here who took the time to help me on this. The amount of support was overwhelming and unexpected to say the least and I can't thank you enough for the comradery and compassion that the people in trp have shown. I sincerely appreciate it fellas.


[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Go out and meet other women; go out and have fun with your friends. Getting your dick wet is the quickest way to forget about an ex.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the response. I will be following this advice along with others in this thread. Can't fucking thank you guys enough.

[–]PIGamer861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting your dick wet [responsibly] is the best way to forget an ex.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise67 points68 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Grief is completely understandable. What a horrible little harpy. She is willing to break your heart to get a little vacation dick, then expects you to take her back like nothing's changed.

The first step to get you through this is to keep yourself extremely busy. Work long hours, and when you're not working, do things to improve yourself; particularly exercise as it will make you feel better, and help you slay some new pussy not attached to a back stabbing cunt.

Go out every weekend night (Friday and Saturday) and chase tail like crazy. Either you'll get laid, or you'll at least bring yourself out from being rusty. Note your heart might not be in it at first, but do it anyway. It isn't just about having fun, it's about rehabilitating yourself. Do it even if you're not enjoying it at the start.

Finally, check in here to see other poor dudes like yourself dealing with women who have tried to do similar things to them. You're not alone, you will rise above and you'll genuinely feel better off without that slut. Keeping yourself busy, exercise, and picking up new women will get you there quickly.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just the response I needed. I'm going to do this over monk mode. Thanks for the support man and taking the time to write this up!!! Major respect to you guys and this forum.

[–]Sarah_Connor_Is_Fab1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, she does think he'll take her back, otherwise she wouldn't have asked for 'permission'

[–]Stories_of_Red68 points69 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Half way through her 6 month vacation she tells me that she wants a break.

She did you a huuuuuge favor, albeit unintentionally. Of course she has already had sex with other(s). She simply tried to retroactively get clearance, so she can, in her mind, retain her Good Person card.

But she apparently did not realize you have the Red Pill Antibodies in your blood. Fucking tiger blood! You immediately knew what was up, and moved decisively. You should thank Brodin for showing you the way by doing some extra squats. Deep squats. The kind that make you wear diapers when you do them.

Oh, and fuck that monk mode crap. Just go live your life.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Praise be to Brodin.

[–]JacksOnJaxOff3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Just this

[–]RPAlternate4229 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And free she shall be.

And shall you be as well, my son. Go forth and be well!

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the support!

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"Break" is a code word for "new dick".

[–]thor_away923 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's never meant any different

[–]Apexk918 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Go fuck something.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This seems to be the most common solution. I'll pull some tail this weekend. Thanks for the inspiration. Feel much better with everyone's support fuck

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For me, I had oneitis and my girlfriend and I made a clean break. That was hard because I didn't give myself a reason to move on. You have the benefit that she betrayed you over vapid hedonism. That should make it easier to move on.

Enjoy the ride. You'll re-learn that freedom is fucking awesome.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well put friend

[–]Atheisticles2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Except kids

[–]The__Tren__Train14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

She will be back. Prepare yourself...

It's easy to say that you will never contact her or meet with her again, but to go through with that is a whole other story.

She WILL try to track you down to try to rekindle, or at least get closure.. Be ready

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I completely agree. Out of self interest and probably social pressure from her parents who were quite fond of me. Got smarts and more cash then she knows about aka fuck you money. I've always had a full hand and she and other females will never see it. If she ends up finding me at my new work. I'll just say "I just fell out of love somehow-it's weird but I can't explain it" I believe I read that on here somewhere or somewhere similar and plan on deploying the same thing in the worst case scenario. I'll be fully prepared. She hurt me though. People who hurt me are gone. PERIOD. It's funny, she's seen me hard next people who have fucked me over, now she's going to find out how it feeeeeeeelllls :)

[–]Late30sMasculist5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'll just say "I just fell out of love somehow-it's weird but I can't explain it" I believe I read that on here somewhere or somewhere similar and plan on deploying the same thing in the worst case scenario.

Don't say this because it opens the door to her pressuring you for more discussions. "What do you mean you fell out of love? I can't believe that when we did X together, you're telling me that it meant nothing to you!"

Then you'll want to say, "No, that did mean a lot to me it's just that..."

and before you know it, you are talking about relationships and you're opening yourself up to her manipulations. Do not engage!

A better response would be to remain emotionless and say, "We're not together anymore, which means we don't have to have these talks about our 'feelings.'" Then give her the cold shoulder.

It may be hard to do it because she will trigger a bunch of emotions in you, but do it you must. The only way to win this game is not to play, at all. As soon as you start acknowledging her feelings, you are in girl territory and are making yourself vulnerable. Sort of like a chick should not go up to your apartment with you unless she wants to bang, you should not take the first step towards having romantic discussions.

It sounds like you're aware of the emotional impact this girl has on you, so you are doing the right thing by not trying to plate her. You can't handle the pressure, and that's fine. Disengage completely and stick with your decision.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for taking the time to write that. I really have no intention on talking to her. If she does I whole heartedly agree with what you're saying. The fact that she could be so cold allows for me to react the same way. I will not engage her period. She may try showing up to my new work if she can remember where I said it was. If she does. I will tell her I can't speak with her.

[–]Late30sMasculist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good luck. Remember these words: "We're not boyfriend-girlfriend anymore, so I don't owe you an explanation for how I feel. Good bye."

Additionally, don't put yourself in the position to talk to her anyways. But if she is persistent and desperate enough she will find you anyways. That's when you use the above line, and stick to it.

[–]nodoxsavefreespeech 14 points14 points [recovered] | Copy Link

a 6 month vacation?

i can't even

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Ya. That's temporarily moving. Not a vacation, and if she's living the whole time in party mode like it's a vacation then I shudder to think about what nasty shit she's been up to. Thankfully she didn't go full sociopath and she at least cut OP loose. These women are so full of themselves though, I bet she 100% believes she'll get OP back. I've experienced this.

[–]antariusz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank god for TRP and military experience, I would have believed that a woman could be loyal for 6 months away from home.

But nope, they are all unloyal, the difference is that some men take the women back afterward.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She did go full sociopath mode though. She started hamstering bs reasons of why we should take a break. Intentionally provoking me to act like the bad guy in texts. I called her out on it repeatedly. Until her mental gymnatist tires and she told me the truth.

I condensed the story as a lot of trp frequenters seem to have a good understanding of female phsycology

[–]fliphopanonymous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some industries still have sabbaticals.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

So you dated men before the 3 years?

Anyway, dump her. That's a clear sign she's interested in other guys. It's just a matter of time until she fucks them and you're left out in the cold wondering "what did I do wrong?".

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 20 points21 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

She's dumped. She will not get any contact from me after this. Period. Thanks for the response. It's appreciated.

[–]RunawayGrain9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Here is the tricky part. Once you go zero contact, she will most likely try to re-establish contact. You have to be ruthless and ignore any attempt by her to contact. Even if it's for 'closure' which is where she will try to blame shift fucking up the relationship onto you.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The moment she started acting differently in texts was when she started shift ducking the relationship on me to avoid being accountable for destroying the relationship. I will be ruthless as I've done this to other people who treated me unjustly. She knows this also so she knows that I will not engage her period.

[–]Jani11570 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's crazy to me that she knew you'd x her out of your life if she treated you badly and yet she did this anyway. It's good to hear you're moving forward man.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man

[–]thor_away922 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you so much for handling this like a man and not replying with "but maybe there's still a chance with her??? QQBAWWEWW belch"

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're very welcome :) A person's physiology can make people "think" crazy things. I'm fully aware of this and regardless how I feel right now at the moment, I understand my actions are the correct ones.

[–]Newbosterone12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a strong indication she's already "dated" other guys, and does not want to continue feeling guilty.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Female logic: Break rules, feel bad (as you should), break up, feel better even though you should still feel horrible.

Get back, find out op is doing better without you, beg for him back and remind him of all the great things you initially shit on for empty vapid reasons, feel bad and make up better reasons, when op doesn't give in convince yourself that he was shit anyway and repeat the process with someone else.

Women infuriate me sometime. That's why I just don't trust them with anything important anymore.

[–]BenjiDread3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good on you for seeing clearly and being decisive. Too many people post here asking silly questions like, how do I make this slut love me again.

Don't second guess yourself for a second. I know how the "feel like shit" phase feels. I'm just getting out of that phase. It gets better every day. What doesn't get better is spending more time in a relationship that is already over. Go forth and be awesome.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man and same to you and I won't second guess myself. It's fucking really hard to deal with as I know you can relate.How can you not care about people you spend alot of time with? At the same time I do look at things objectively and appreciate you seeing that. Thanks for the support and I wish all the best for you my friend.

[–]TheBeardedMarxist3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

6 month vacation? She just be an Heiress. Can I get her number?

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lives with parents I deleted her number xD

[–]z10z104 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Meditate for 5-10 mins an hour or less frequently depending on whats needed. Put on some instrumental music - eg Tycho. Accept it is what it is, accept how you feel, take 10 deep breaths focusing on how your chest feels. Repeat.

Then work through a couple modest goals for the balance of the hour.

Schedule time to interact with people that you enjoy everyday.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude this. I just did this. This morning after I woke up as I started slipping in to the anger. It cleared my mind and I feel like this day is off to a good start now. Will hit the gym soon, and meeting up with some guys tonight for some beers.

z10z10 thanks for the tip, very solid and will meditate in the mornings, VERY GOOD TIP

[–]z10z100 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great to hear and I appreciate the note. I think it does a couple things: a) By accepting we gradully stop mentally trying to escape reality and the incessant hope that things were otherwise. b) By alternating focus between acceptance of the current situation and breathing / chest, it dilutes the intensity of the pains. I find the latter is like a lifeboat. I can't ever seem to feel too bad when I turn focus on my breathing and chest, so I know its there when needed. Now the trick is to consistently use the things we learn... and never forget about them.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've articulated that quite well and are completely right. Every time you notice your physicality becoming ill from negative thoughts this restores you back. Fucking amazing tip and completely agree I feel great hahaha, seriously this deserves to be upvoted.

[–]FrameWalker4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good for you man. Here is the big list of reasons why this is a good thing:

  1. You avoided getting divorce raped by a cheating slut
  2. 3 years is enough time for a girl to age and lose her inherent value. It's time for an upgrade
  3. In the last 3 years your SMV has gone up (you've been lifting right?) so the quality of women that are into you has gone up. Your next gf will be younger, hotter, smarter

Stay busy, delete all photos etc. Out of site out of mind. Having sex with a few girls will help, but it also takes some time.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

  1. True and also I've avoided a side I've never seen with her before that was cold. I could only imagine how much more I would be suffering if I let this go on any longer.
  2. TBH she had some areas that I was leneint towards. The sex wasn't that great, I did most of the work to keep it hot : / Also in her social media pictures she was starting to gain a little extra weight on vacay. She lost all of her value when she became indifferent to me. 3.I look better than I have ever looked. I've been maxing in all areas.

All good things come with time : )

[–]bittr_n_swt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

3 fucking years.

Good on you for doing the right thing, hope you get over it quickly

[–]unleashedhero3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm going through same thing right now. She is out there partying getting drunk and gang bang to get over the break up, while i'm hitting the gym, studying, applying to jobs and creating a business. Her SMV is dropping, while mine is increasing. I can't help but thanking her. If she never would have betrayed me I never would have known how great life is without her. You'll be good bro trust me, just improve yourself and do things beneficial to your life.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Verbatim my story bro. I'm working on creating more passive income vehicles atm myself. She has been getting crunk nearly every day and living a debaucherous lifestyle. I'm already starting to feel like I am the lucky one. I do like the idea of family but I would not want to start one with a women like this.

[–] points points | Copy Link

Clarify what you mean by grief. Like you're getting grief from her? Or you just fee bad?

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 6 points7 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel like shit. Also a creative type so I create narratives of what she's doing in my head. BTW thanks guys for everything! Fuck this is like a male version of a "women's shelter"

[–] points points | Copy Link

Nothing you can do. It's not like you can take back her wanting to be a whore. Just go have fun and game some girls you're free now!

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 4 points5 points [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

Roger.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I guess shock and anger are my main feelings.

[–]prime_zero4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Completely natural and understandable. Acknowledge the feelings, let them pass through and out of your system. Then go bang a young hotties brains out.

[–]oldslut2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

lots of good advice already, but i will add: never take her back. stay strong, and don't give her that satisfaction. good luck

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will not take her back. PERIOD. I've hard nexted people before. Hard nexting is hard but it makes your life much easier and ultimately is healthier than staying in a toxic relationship.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Fuck other women. Get a hooker if it's too hard.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'll try to get it for free first, but I'm not opposed to the idea of it. Sexual strategy is ammoral. I just don't like the idea of hooker pussy - std's etc

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Always use a condom haha.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even condom's can't protect you from skin to skin STI's like herpes and molluscum contagiousum. I've had molluscum contagiousum before which is a an offshoot of chicken pox that took along time to go away. Tbh that's great advice I would go further and say NEVER shave your pubic area,dick and balls before banging strange.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Half way through her 6 month vacation she tells me that she wants a break.

She met a guy, might have already fucked him, and wants to absolve herself of any guilt post facto.

Tips? Yes: Go fuck other women. Get on the apps, whichever one you prefer, and just start doggedly pursuing every remotely fuckable girl in town. When you have an active harem of 2-3 girls, reassess.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Break = breakup

[–]Nicolay771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would be celebrating in your place.

[–]frankiejholden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well done for dumping her.

So many guys make a mistake here.

What I will never cease to be amazed by is the amount of women who have the audacity to make such a request, and the amount of chodes that go along with it.

Grief sucks ass man. Time heals all, and self improvement increases the speed of your recovery.

Go learn something new, or build on something you are already doing. YOU are the only constant in your life.

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Go lift.

Btw, I was banned from /r/sex, the femnazi hate is strong. If any of you sex mods see this, I'm fucking your wife! Trust.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I work out. Thanks for the response though.

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Someone will say it, might as well be me, lift more :)

Also, don't do monk mode for this, I don't think isolation like that is worthwhile, tinder and bang.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. Honestly never tried tinder but on the other hand I have a general disdain for women atm. I am working on passive income projects so I'm staying quite busy. I have a great gym regimen with my off days focusing on core and cardio. I'm in great shape with 8- 12% body fat on a given day. Turning 34 next month!

[–]dark_dragoon102 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Shes fucking some other guys guaranteed. Go fuck other girls. Don't ever see this one again unless its purely for sex but unless shes some sort of super model irreplaceable sculpture might as well just block her off completely. Simple

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even if she was a complete dime I would next her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Demote her and plate-up.

[–]EGOtyst0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Grief like what? Personal grief? Grief from her family? Grief from your family? That is a bit ambiguous.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Grief from losing someone I cared about. We spent a lot of time together.

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A friend of mine is going to do exactly this in 2 years and has already told his loyal girlfriend he's going to break up with her when he does. Going to go travelling for a year and doesn't want to be tied down to her when he does. Thing is they're both low SMV. He's not going to get much tail in that year if any at all. And she is just going to move on to a new guy, serial monogamist. He's only doing it because his friend of much higher SMV actually encouraged his gf to have a break while she travelled so she could jump dick. They're now back together, 4 years now or something.

[–]redpillat400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

6 month vacation?!? Who the fuck gets a 6 month vacation?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking new women is the fastest way to get over prior women. Sorry to hear it, lad. Can you give us any details? A six month vacation sounds like a pretty big red flag to me.

[–]MenacingJowls0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You say you weren't surprised - why?

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On paper everything was good. Now that she wants to be free she hamstered a whole bunch of nonsense of how she was feeling like we were growing apart. Taking the accountability of her destroying the relationship and placing it on me. Going through the texts it's near comical the mental gymnastics she was doing before telling me the truth.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awalt

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go out and chase some tail this weekend brother, it is the best medicine for this kind of situation. If all else fails by the end of the weekend, hire a professional. It is amazing psychologically but the second you get your dick wet, a cheating slut with baggage will be the last thing on your mind. Enjoy the freedom, you are lucky that this girls gave you such an obvious out! Beats being a cuck.

[–]cthulhu_calling_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with what most of the others are saying on here. Just an FYI, there is no such thing as a break. She lost the feels and it is over. Go dark triad and fuck one of her friends ;)

[–]getRedPill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Get over it, you will be better. At first is difficult but then you will say to yourself hey, I should have done this before

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed - Already begun the process of positively reframing everything.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good on you for blocking her number. I don't know what your personal situation is like, but if you're still in university go to frat parties, if not go out to town with friends, approach girls in the bookstore/supermarket and the likes.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Downgrade to FWB at best, and GET OTHER OPTIONS.

It's that or monk mode, you've no other choice.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Hard to say if I want to cope with fleeting validation of banging strange. Monk mode I feel may be my best bet although I do keep busy and lift.

EDIT: Will be banging strange this weekend.

[–]absolucion2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I myself would opt for monk mode in this situation (and after any relationship). It helps me avoid distractions, take stock of what's going on and what I need to do, and to eliminate unnecessary stress. Fucking other women is nice but as you said, you get a fleeting, overly inflated sense of validation and that could be detrimental down the road.

[–]jnsu_2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

would you consider porn/fapping/ video games in monk mode for the first week after a breakup to cope with stress if you're stuck at your house for a week? I'm going through the same thing she dumped me put all the blame on me with no closure randomly accused me of cheating and shit which I never did. told me I won't change I tried proving I'd change she took that for granted and denied me. it's my loss of sense of pride I feel that's fucked me since I lost frame at the end big time. I feel like absolute shit like this guy. I have no way to get out my house for a week considering my truck is out of commission for a week. went out today (with friends) have really no desire to pursue other women but I posted a snap story(I know I should have blocked her on there) of me at victory secret with my hand next to a girls hand next to some thongs as if I moved on. ex looked at it hopefully that showed her I'm moving on(I'm not but trying) or it gave her the ok to fuck other dudes I don't even know. im just feeling like shit that's why I think monk mode is best. I don't have much friends as of now and I'm not in the best environment. il feel great then feel like shit for even longer like that feeling in ur stomach this post may come off bitchy. I also do lift have a gym at my house but I'm not eating right barely eating I need some motivation or some shit. If I knew she cheated I would have 100% no problem getting over her. but I don't for sure there's no closure and I go between feeling like its my fault to feeling like fuck this bitch she shouldn't treat me like that. I'm feeling pretty lonely as fuck too, self esteem low right now. could use some advise support or mentor

this is all a big mindfuck since she was begging for me to stay days before if this would have happened earlier on and I didn't break frame or if I knew she cheated i would be mad as fuck and that would make me happy. when I'm angry I feel alive its the good anger that pushes me to get shit done. but since I'm left with no answers I can't even get angry that's the thing I feel depressed. I'm an introvert too

[–]FinickyFizz2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Find friends..

Run if you can't lift. The endorphins that her released after running for over half an hour will calm you down.

Take up some course on Edx or Coursera.

Don't go to porn at this stage. You can decide to go to this later. Similarly don't go to Fap shops. The people you find there are usually alone themselves.

Get rid of your Internet connection so that you can't keep in touch with her in anyway. Or take up a very expensive connection, so that you think very hard before doing anything.

PM me if you want someone to talk to. This is all for the best. Stick with NC with that female and you will appreciate yourself for doing this in a years time. Yes, it takes time

[–]jnsu_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks for that man will take this. one thing is though after I fap to her videos I feel like she doesn't mean shit to me anymore since I "got" her. she withheld sex at the end of the relationship which fucked my ego up she manipulated the fuck out of things and played me hard. but when I bust a nut to our old sexting when she was into shit like I feel as if she's just some cum dump tail that was chasing me after it feels good. like all my feels for her go away and I see the true nature of her that's why I brought up the fapping

[–]absolucion0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I personally wouldn't take up porn or masturbation (there is nothing constructive about them) but perhaps an hour of video games to wind down (nothing constructive there either but I've always enjoyed a good story; if you're addicted to video games, I'd replace this with books). One of the things I'm working on right now is mastering my addiction to getting off. I'm currently in an LTR amd there is no shortage of sex but I've maintained my masturbation habits from when I was a bachelor & lived alone. I find I'm more productive & creative when I don't masturbate. Porn is useless. Sure, there are beautiful women on your screen but they're not in your room. So feel free to play some video games but don't make it a crutch. Play an hour at most then put them down and work on being productive. Best way to move on from a bad situation (in my opinion) is to invest time in yourself. Make yourself better. Down the road, this woman will hear of what you've got going on and she'll see your continued success as her not having made any sort of impact on your life. That'll bug her.

I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through. We've all been there at one time or another. One of the things I figured out in my early 20s (I'm in my late 20s now) is that you have to continue being yourself. Don't change for anyone but yourself. Once you start losing parts of yourself, it becomes harder to move on and you waste precious time finding that again.

[–]GetrichonIMP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Avoiding porn atm.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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