How do you discipline/punish your kids?

FoxShitNasty83 · 2018-12-10T14:55:58+00:00

Good question here is what works for me mine are both boys 3 and 7. They love to push the boundaries.

Staying strong and composed and try not to lose my shit. They want attention and it dosent matter if it's good dad or angry fucked off dad it's attention. I get them to look at me and give them one warning. If they don't listen and carry on being shitty then it's time out at X spot for 1 minute per year old. Come back tell them what they did wrong and ask for an apology.. rinse repeat if not.

If they are in silly mode it's time to get the silly out. I let and actively encourage them to go nuts, wave your hands around scream... Get that shit out.. is the silly out? Check in the mouth, ears... If they are grinning there is still silly in there that needs to come out so off we go again go nuts till the silly is out.

If my eldest starts throwing his weight around it's time for a daddy hug, hold still and STFU until they are less angry and volotile. I'm trying to get to the stage in helping them to identify emotions and how to deal with them... I'm learning too. One thing I am doing more of is setting down time with each of them to have daddy time where we do something they want to do.

Interested to hear what works for others.

redwall92 · 2018-12-10T15:25:42+00:00

Read a few books.

Love and Logic - especially for the older kids.

Boundaries w/ Teens; Boundaries w/ Kids

There are a ton of them out there. You can read and find out if the style of parenting the book puts forward resonates with your view of reality and relationships. If it does, then adopt the principles and strengthen your frame as a parent. If the book doesn't line up with you view of reality, then find the next book.

Parenting is a skill that should be on your MAP just like any other skill.

SILENTSAM69 · 2018-12-11T03:27:51+00:00

Be careful not to escalate too quickly. If you are quick to tell then soon yelling wont mean much. If you want kids to react then always hold frame, and escalate slowly.

Old_Awareness · 2018-12-10T15:22:12+00:00

I have several young children. Alan E. Kazdin has an evidence based system that is basically "game" (NOT with a sexual outcome) for kids. It's surprisingly similar to dealing with women in that a lot of it is about maintaining frame and emotional communication. There's a coursera with videos and everything.

redaftrp · 2019-03-19T19:29:30+00:00

Spanking (in moderation), physical exertion, writing sentences(dual purpose as he gains better penmanship as a result), etc.

For the spanking aspect I make a conscious choice to ensure that I am not spanking him out of anger. This shows that I'm not emotional, and allows the child to realize the errors of his ways without associating bad behaviour = beating.

Physical exertion is used when he acts up in class, most often due to being kept indoors for long periods, sitting at a desk. For this I will use pushups, flutter kicks, front leaning rest(push-up up position, held for 30-60 seconds) low crawling, or holding a brick above his head. The point of PT is to help him release his energy in a positive way that also helps him physically develop, as well as a painful reminder that his negative behaviour has repercussions.