A comment from a post down-thread inspired me to write this about Vision. I'll probably develop it further into a full blog post, but I thought it was important enough for a post.

One rarely talked-about element of Married Game is a subtle thing known as Vision. Most husbands don’t appreciate what a strong DHV possessing Vision is, and they proceed unaware of the power it can add to their relationship. Most husbands do this because they don’t understand Vision, what it is and how it is manifested, much less the subtle but important role it holds. Let me explain: once upon a time I was working for a personnel agency, and one of my jobs was coaching our people on interviewing techniques. I learned a lot about the process as a result, from both the interviewer and the interviewee side. When it came to my clients who wanted high-quality employees with good technical skills – real talent – I learned the sorts of things that such high-demand technical people wanted in a company. Money, of course, and security and benefits. But beyond that gifted employees want to work for a company with a history, a good culture, and (most importantly) a Vision.
What is Vision? In this context Vision is a manifested idea of the future. Everyone wants to work for a company that’s changing the world and is doing so in a positive, pro-active way. No one wants to work for the company that’s floundering, desperate just to meet its next quarter’s goals. Vision is a generally-stated plan-of-action toward a distant but achievable goal, presented in an enticing enough manner to inspire. It’s short on details and long on generalizations. It’s reflective of inner beliefs, values, and judgments, an indication of character, foresight, and initiative. It should be bold, meaningful, and challenging.
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates excelled at the Vision thing, and their companies attracted outstanding talent as a result. Google lives and breathes Vision. Without adequate Vision, innovation is impossible. And inspiration is difficult to come by. But what about you and your marriage? Have you presented your wife with an inspiring enough Vision to give her tingles and gain her support? Mrs. Ironwood knows exactly when I first outlined my vision. I received a rejection notice for a novel in the mail, way back in the 1990s, and I shrugged it off. She was concerned, and when she pressed I hauled out a dozen other rejection letters I’d racked up just that year . . . and then explained how each one was a tangible sign of success. I sketched my vision of what kind of writer I wanted to be, what kind of life I wanted to make for myself, and said it with such passion, conviction and confidence that it gave her tingles and inspired her to want to be part of that vision. As the captain of your boat, you might be so focused on bailing water or keeping the engine running that you have sacrificed developing a proper Vision for your marriage. But unless your wife understands that there is an intended destination somewhere on the horizon, a lush inviting port toward which you are heading, she is going to have a hard time investing herself emotionally in the marriage. Sure, she might proclaim a devotion to you, but unless you give her some idea of who you are planning to be in the future, she’s going to be reluctant to buy in. A properly-relayed Vision gives her hamster something to chew on.
What constitutes a decent Vision? It isn’t merely financial – though that’s certainly an important element. She wants to hear about your professional goals and plans, your personal ideas of success, where you see yourself ultimately, and she wants to know what values and aspirations have shaped those goals. Your Vision may not include career aspirations, but could involve something deeply personally meaningful to you (and, if you’re adept, to her). And they should involve the marriage without being focused exclusively on the marriage. Building a dream house, having horses someday, buying a boat and hitting the ICW for six months with her, restoring a classic car, writing a hit musical, taking her to Rome, investigating Bigfoot sightings in the Pacific Northwest – what matters most is your passion and your ambition, and a demonstration of how that passion will propel you both to a better and happier place.
Vision is hard. You should give it some thought, and then present it in a dramatic enough way to make an impact. It should be designed to engage her emotions, incite her own passions, and literally give her a positive context in which to envision her future. But every woman wants to know where you’re planning on heading the boat. She’ll want to make “constructive” additions, and that’s okay. As long as you have given her a story to inspire her, and inspire her devotion to you, the details are unimportant. It isn’t even important if your Vision changes over time. What is important is that you have and can communicate that Vision to her in a compelling way.