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On the topic of "dating." Whether it is your wife, girlfriend or plate, there is one simple thing you need to get across.

I found myself sitting at the bar in a Shreveport, LA this weekend with "Mandy" whom I met on Bumble less than 14 days ago. As we sat there eating our lunch of beans and rice and gumbo, with her hand in my lap she looks and me and tells me that the most attractive thing about me, is the fact that "I do not need her."

I do not need her....let that sink in for a minute.....

When she told me that, I looked at her, and gave her a nice kiss on the lips. In a fun/cocky way I affirmed what she said, "Yes, I do not need you, but I choose to spend my time with you, and like you say choice is far more attractive than need."

One way or another, she gets it. She understands why she is there, sitting with me having lunch at a restaurant I chose to go to after spending the weekend with me going to a wedding she was invited to. A wedding where she was grinning ear to ear introducing me to her friends and extended family.

She savored the looks on their faces when I was able to carry on a conversation, fit into her circle with seamless effort. When I took the 80 year old grandma to the dance floor for a dance. When I danced with flower girl, the bride and most importantly when I spun her around on the floor like a little girl. She knew that she had the most high value man at that wedding. I would argue I worked that room harder than she did. She had to come and find me, and pull me back.

She loved how I already knew what club we were going to after the reception was over. There was no discussion, just hop in the truck and lets go. We are both dressed up, the night is young and we are on vacation, so lets go build a memory.

She knew two things going into this weekend.

  1. I love wedding cake and never pass it up.
  2. I love LA Gumbo.

So for me, beyond the fact I fucked her brains out before and after the wedding. Beyond the fact she gave me road head for 20 mins on the drive back to Dallas. Beyond the fact that she did not wear underwear all weekend under that short dress she wore to the wedding....

All that aside....

I got what I wanted...Wedding cake and Gumbo.

Everything else was a bonus.


[–]weakandsensitive24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I do not need her."

She feels special because you choose her. When you're forced to be with her, when you're clinging on to her, she's no longer special.

I got what I wanted...Wedding cake and Gumbo.

Everything else was a bonus.

Pretty much. Know what you want out of life.

Good post. Subcommunication is so powerful.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The depths at which women can read subcommunication is astounding. It's like whales and sonar, or bats or some shit like that. Not needing a woman is something that turns her on and makes her want you badly. Needing her dries her up and makes her want to tell you to get the fuck out of her life.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'ma just gonna slide this in here

neediness

[–]MrChad_ThundercockPlaying the lead roll11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post.

"I do not need her."

Law of state transference. She’ll start feelzing and mirroring whatever state you’re in.

looking back, it’s clear how my faggot blue pill self needed her. Needed her to clean, cook, plan, lead, needed her validation. At the same time, the kids needed her too. All she ever saw were kids and a grown ass man needing shit from her all day long. She was tapped out by the end of the night.

A strong alpha male doesn’t need shit from her. He gives value, not subtracts/ leaches value off of her. When she can feelz that from him, instant tinglestm .

[–]82SLP7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you for this post! I think this is where I have been failing. However it’s not so easy going from “needy” to “not needy”. I’ve caught myself before I do something needy, and have to keep telling myself “don’t do it, that’s a turn off”. I’ve been working so hard on my self esteem lately.

[–]Lightning140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The part I have struggled with is keeping that DGAF not need her attitude as the relationship progresses. Never married, but 2 LTRs with both eventually losing some respect for me (the 2nd one tho much less so) after a couple of years.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this is how i held frame with my wife when she discovered me cheating and would lose her shit. i would simply tell her that she was free to leave if she wanted to, that we're both young and attractive and neither of us will have a hard time finding someone new so if she wanted to leave me i would be fine and would understand, but if she's giving me a choice i would prefer she stay because i think the world of her and love her and love our marriage and the little family we built. i just like strange and that's not gonna change

and she's always stayed. women really would rather share a confident man who knows what he wants and makes no apologies for it (an alpha) than be the one and only princess of some beta schmuck

great post op

[–]CoachDad9 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

The key is to keep that up for 10 years and more

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

for some maybe, for Red I'm pretty sure his time horizon is now like 10 days

[–]CoachDad9 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

That's easy, the first few months anyone can game a woman, keep interest, stay aloof. But once you put that ring on the finger and move in together the curtain comes up on the wizard.

[–]weakandsensitive[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

if you can't maintain and augment, that's on you. that's not relationships. don't project your personal inadequacies as if they're inevitable.

[–]CoachDad9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

So saying the "newness" of a long-term marriage wears off is projecting? Right buddy, good one.

[–]weakandsensitive[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. It's on you to own your shit. Don't blame your failures on "newness".

don't project your personal inadequacies as if they're inevitable.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Red already has his kids. Why would he leave easy street paved in pussy?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You can't go wrong with a good gumbo.

Also, impressed that in 14 days you got invited to a wedding.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not going to lie.....I invited myself.

We were on our 2nd date and she was telling me about the wedding. Kinda hinting around it. Making excuses on making the 4 hour drive alone, blah, blah, but it was her High School friend and she really wanted to go, so I point blank told her I love wedding cake, I love LA Gumbo and that I would be her +1 no problem.

Next day I had her text me a pic of the wedding invitation so I could make plans on travel, etc. Easy peasy stuff. Had some Marriott points I needed to burn up. She paid for all the gas there/back.

It was a win/win for us both.

[–]Lightning147 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like she was inviting you, but was afraid to be direct about it.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A good gumbo is worth its weight in gold.

[–]Praxis0002 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You should finish this post with but I know hypergamy doesn't care, Briffaults law is always in effect, and I know there is no "One." Every post even positive ones should end with this.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tupac cares, if don't nobody else care.

[–]boblee772 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Been married a long time. Many times in there, I e had to tell her that I don’t need her. She feels/acts like she’s “got to” do these things for me. Like wash my clothes, cook, turn lights off. I have to remind her that I can do all that. And have, only thing I need her for is sex.

I know that’s not RP, just putting it out there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You went to a destination wedding with a bumble girl you met two weeks ago?

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep! Life is short. Get out there and live it.

[–]Cloudsurf89[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I keep coming back to this post. Can't put my finger on it but it just really speaks to me. Thank you

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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