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I saw some posts asking about sharing parts of their MRP journey with their wives.

Don't talk about fight club.

Women/people generally react poorly to the success or improvement of others. Whenever somebody succeeds at something while another person fails (or never tries at all) that person's failure must be justified in their own head, which is usually done by minimizing the success of others. Often the word "just" is involved.

"I could have done that if I just ...."

"Of course he is successful, he grew up ...."

"Anybody can do that if they just ...."

"They are just lucky"

Or my personal favorite: "I had that idea years ago"

So, regarding MRP, when you STFU and work to improve yourself, there will be no "just" to explain your improvements and changes. This begets respect and dread. You are a natural alpha that was hiding in sheep's clothing all these years, lucky her! Conversely, if you tell her about how you are following a TRUE ALPHA's plan for you, you are telling her that you are not now or ever a natural, you are merely pretending. Your progress will always be minimized, since you are just playing make believe or at best just a shadow of some greater man out there.

Furthermore, once you start forecasting all of your plans you are now under the microscope, the shot clock is counting down, and you will only be known for your failures. Why? Remember "just"? Well, you "just" had to follow the steps that the real men at MRP had laid out for you, but you failed, and your BF% is only 18%, you still get emotional (it just takes one), you still ... It doesn't matter, any gains you have are somebody else's gains that you are copying, any failures are 100% yours.

Evidence: Once my wife was made aware of a PUA book that somebody was reading (not me). She said "That's gross." I said, "What do you mean?" "He is using that book to trick women into having sex with them." "How is it a trick? It's not like he is drugging them, they are doing it on their own accord, and quite enthusiastically as I understand it" "But that's not really him, he is just pretending."

Be the wolf in sheep's clothing, no the sheep in wolf's clothing.


[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I stifled progress a lot at the start by yapping too much. I actually think anytime I mention something about the gym I trigger a "drty the fuckin faker" response. Shit, even if I mention something manosphrian, she reacts with disdain (unless I word it in a way that she agrees with). Except, the "fake drty" has been around so long now she realizes he's here to stay.

If I could go back, I would have shut up about self help books, intergender dynamics and my hatred of feminism (I can vocalize my lack of respect for pussy men, as she openly shares this belief) . Things would have gone smoother I believe.

I also liked you hashing it out with sepean. I miss the days of regular users arguing. It was so conductive for the development of frame. Especially when newer dudes would start challenging approved guys

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I can vocalize my lack of respect for pussy men, as she openly shares this belief

It's funny how red pill aware women are, but often conditioned to respond negatively to particular topics or keywords. My wife has always been critical of "wimpy" men. I would bust her balls, "But honey, he seems to be really nice, earns good money, and does whatever his wife wants." She would get that "stuck in a while loop" look on her face, then break the loop with "Yeah, but don't be wimpy". By the way, lest you think my wife is some lumberjack of a women, she is very feminine, submissive, and high SMV, not out there trying to "be one of the guys"

Actually we talk about relationship dynamics all the time, and we are both pretty much on the same page. I'm always quick to differentiate between true feminism and the bastardized atrocity that is currently masquerading as feminism.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I said to my wife last week something like "Maybe I'm just a piece of shit, but I can't help think that societies collective support for how awesome step dads are is merely supporting/encouraging women to continue making poor decisions".

She looked at me as if to say "You're right but I'm not going to say it aloud"

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you're so mean to try to make your female turn against the herd.... she might self-destruct.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I also liked you hashing it out with sepean. I miss the days of regular users arguing. It was so conductive for the development of frame. Especially when newer dudes would start challenging approved guys

Yup, for sure.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Shit, even if I mention something manosphrian, she reacts with disdain (unless I word it in a way that she agrees with).

WTF ? You weren't put on earth to "word things in a way your wife agrees with". Stop catering to her emotional needs. Be yourself. Create polarity. She may ACT annoyed, but in reality it creates attraction.

I'm guessing the manospherian thing you speak of are hypergamishy and induce dread in her. So be it.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women don't want to hear your opinion about abortion, feminism, child support and the worlds shitty view of incels. It sure as fuck doesn't create attractiom either. At best it causes her to try to goad me into an argument I won't have and her subsequently going to sleep on the couch.

I can tease her about all sorts of shit without having to attack team women.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockPlaying the lead roll9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post and reminder.

There’s a reason the great wizard of oz has the curtains closed...

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks.

You know, most of this applies beyond MRP. In my professional world there is a major psychological aspect to the "black box". If you are out-performing a competitor in spades, everybody wants to know whats in the box. Don't tell them, familiarity breeds contempt. My go-to response is "magic".

My company makes a product, a literal box, that leads the market in performance, not by a little, but by a shit ton. One time I showed an outsider what it looked like inside the box. He was like "oh, that's it?". I was like, "what did you expect?" He said "I don't really know, just not that." Exactly. Before looking in the box it could have been anything, it could have been tiny unicorns farting rainbows with gold at the end. But after looking inside the mystery is gone, now it is "just" mundane looking technology.

When people only care about the result, only show them the result.

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Your progress will always be minimized, since you are just playing make believe or at best just a shadow of some greater man out there.

Sure, and girls don’t think muscles are hot if they know he’s juicing, and they don’t want to fuck if they’re using contraception (what’s the point, they can’t get pregnant). /s

This idea that their base instincts can be controlled by their rational knowledge, it’s bullshit. There’s no such thing as faking it, there’s no difference between being alpha and acting alpha.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Don't try to apply logic to female emotions.

there’s no difference between being alpha and acting alpha

Only true when the subject viewing said alpha doesn't know how it got there.

This is human nature. When we see a result coming from a black box we are usually impressed. When you look inside the box, especially if there is less going on in there then you imagined, you are dissappointed.

If a guy shares his MAP with his wife, there is virtually no upside. He is now giving his wife the power to judge him. He should be his only judge. At best he reaches his goals "on time and under budget", most likely any failure will be scrutinized.

Money isn't the only thing that women will spend before they have it. Once a noob tells his wife all about his new diet, how he is going to lose 45 lbs by summer, how he is going to get a raise at work by next quarter, how he is going to do more active and social activities, etc. in her mind she is either thinking:

A. This loser will never get his shit together, just watch, another disappointment coming up, which you will inevitably prove her right somehow (even the smallest slip, doesn't matter, a woman needs very little to prove herself right).

or

B. Great, I'm so glad I'm going to have an attractive, sexy, fun, wealthy and stoic man by July. This is great! Let me start planning a pool party so my asshole sister can see that my husband is now better than her banker husband Chaz. I'll probably get it catered now that we're making more money, that will show everybody. (insert failure here)

[–]ImSteveMcQueen2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a guy shares his MAP with his wife, there is virtually no upside. He is now giving his wife the power to judge him. He should be his only judge. At best he reaches his goals "on time and under budget", most likely any failure will be scrutinized.

^^^ Gold

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

Only true when the subject viewing said alpha doesn't know how it got there.

And you know this because your wife said so when she heard about your friend’s PUA knowledge?

Once a noob tells his wife all about his new diet, how he is going to lose 45 lbs by summer, how he is going to get a raise at work by next quarter, how he is going to do more active and social activities, etc. in her mind she is either thinking

This is completely irrelevant to the subject at hand. Telling someone how awesome you are going to be is weak, sure, but that is not what we are talking about.

What we are talking about are results, and results matter.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Who pissed in your cornflakes?

This isn't rocket science, brah. I know this because these are the facts. Women spend their lives sniffing out "impostors", they are trained to look for the smallest crack in your frame, since the consequences for missing this can be significant.

but that is not what we are talking about

Oh, you're the OP now? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Results matter, of course, but on the path to those results you are going to have a much smoother ride if you aren't reporting back to mommy every time you do a big-boy thing.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Youre talking about the commitment skepticism bias. They aren't any good at sniffing out i posters, they just always assume the guy is giving fake signals.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The point is that involving them makes them involved. This is a solitary journey, and there is no good that comes from her having an opinion about your motivations, progress, methods, etc.

If a guy tells mommy all about his MRP journeys things that would evoke dread will get the "just" treatment, especially in the way that she will believe everything is about her (in her frame).

This isn't to say you can't be successful, just that there is no benefit in making the path harder, which telling mommy about your new shiny plans will do.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've just not cared if she knew, or what her reaction would be.

I don't talk about fight club, the same as I don't shit with the door open

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bingo

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, I wouldnt hold seapens wife talking about fight club against him. He's held frame against bigger shit storms in here than just about anyone, and came out on top.

He and I took the pill around the same week, he's no idiot, and it's worth steel manning the points he's bringing up.

Though you both are largely saying the right things for different reasons.

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Who pissed in your cornflakes?

The urine content of my cereal is not why I posted what I do. I just don't want men reporting what their wife told them as RP truths when it isn't so.

This isn't rocket science, brah. I know this because these are the facts. Women spend their lives sniffing out "impostors", they are trained to look for the smallest crack in your frame, since the consequences for missing this can be significant.

Your facts are wrong. Lots of men here have had their wives discover their RP writings, and it didn't matter. They're still females, they respond as is their nature.

That's fact, something that actually happened to actual men dealing with actual women.

Go and look at your OP and see what your evidence is: something your wife told you.

As we say, don't listen to what she says, look at what she does.

Oh, you're the OP now? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Perhaps, but it is not what I'm talking about. You don't get to make strawmen just because you're the OP.

Results matter, of course, but on the path to those results you are going to have a much smoother ride if you aren't reporting back to mommy every time you do a big-boy thing.

Again with the strawmen. I've never said you should report anything, I called that weak.

Where you're wrong is that you think that there's a SMV difference between acting and being, with her knowing you have the RP playbook or not. It doesn't. She'll give you shit over RP, sure, but if you do the alpha moves she'll still respond.

That doesn't mean you should DEER, about RP or anything else. DEERing comes across as weak. And there's a lot of stuff in RP that will cause unnecessary troubles, especially if the man doesn't have the frame to handle her knowing.

But one thing her knowing about RP won't do is make her unresponsive to displays of alpha.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Wait, didn't you puke all over the sub when your wife found your MRP account? So now your position is that it is easier for a man when he tells his wife all about his improvement plans before doing shit?

Pick one: It is a good or bad idea to tell your wife that you have discovered MRP and you are about to become her alpha?

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Wait, didn't you puke all over the sub when your wife found your MRP account?

I wrote a field report about it. Why do you call it a "puke"?

And the issue with it was never loss of attraction. The issue was massive dread, she was worried that I'd cheat on her and didn't love her.

So now your position is that it is easier for a man when he tells his wife all about his improvement plans before doing shit?

I can see you actually have a reading comprehension issue.

Pick one: It is a good or bad idea to tell your wife that you have discovered MRP and you are about to become her alpha?

I've made it clear that I think it is a bad idea.

But what your wife told you is not the reason, and that is not how it works.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've made it clear that I think it is a bad idea.

I'm glad we agree.

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude, it's like you're running through the list of logical falliacies. Now you're cherry picking.

Your post is called "Why we don't talk about fight club", and since your why is wrong it's a real stretch to say we agree. We agree on the don't talk about fight club part, but the meat of your post is just plain wrong.

Girls aren't smart about this. Even if they know that you tell it to all the girls, it still works.

I'd like to hear from some of the guys who had their wives discover RP. Did they stop fucking? Fuck less? Did she respond less to alpha? Because my wife sure didn't. There was shitshow about what she read on RP, absolutely, but it didn't change what she is attracted to.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You want to talk about logical fallacies, yet you keep bringing up that her finding out won't stop your path forward, which isn't my point. I'm saying that it does you no good to involve your wife in your plans for improvement, especially when you are starting.

Her snooping and finding MRP is different from you telling her day 1 that you found a new website and it is going to teach you how to be a man. Your wife can find MRP and you can not talk about fight club, they aren't exclusive. Tell me more about logical fallacies?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If fuckin hate the name Chaz. Honestly, if I ever meet a guy named Chaz I'm gonna make fun of him for his name.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I only knew one guy ever named Chaz. I "accidentally" tackled him in touch football. Did you know that guys named Chaz cry a lot.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love the "accidental" tackle in touch football

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do wonder who went through the baby name book and settled on that above all others...

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wholeheartedly agree! I give other men advice and I am very selective about telling them about the sources of the wisdom. Case in point, my own brother is a classic beta bitch and his wife is leaving him for an older man, with balls, higher status, more money etc. Brother was following the advice until I gave him the red pill to swallow himself. He choked on the pill, stopped even asking for advice, and he is now a cuck.

[–]Neo_19752 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am inclined to agree with the premise. In my own experience, I do best by simply doing...not talking about doing. Stating a truth is one thing...saying you read about it or discussed it with a bunch of guys opens up your frame.

For example, on Monday, my wife was giving me a shit test about finances and work. I have reclaimed the financial helm, and she was complaining that I dont involve her in financial discussions. Also complaining about work (long backstory...it took years for me to basically force her to get a job now that our kids are in school). She, of course was grousing about the other women she works with, and basically saying that her job is tougher than mine. I said 'you dont want to watch how the sausage is made. You just want to cook the sausage and enjoy it. I make the sausage, and I dont bother you with the details about butchering the animals and grinding them up. Enjoy the sausage, and be grateful that you dont need to get your hands dirty. One mark of a good leader is shielding those under him from the shitstorm of life'. Total red pill truth. Owned by me, and told by me. Authentically and without the option of an argument. She looked for a second like I had just told her to fuck off...then she realized I was right and was suddenly happy.

You dont talk about fight club. But you use fight club when you talk.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Don't ever allow for a comparison with someone who is better than you, even if that man is the future version of yourself.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

There is no one better than me.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

...but in the event you think you can do better, be my guest..

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yup. Open invitation

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Big difference: I'm talking with intent Vs. You actually delivered the written invitation.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh. I’m talking mindset

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

LOL. The point was that future Shimshon should be better than today's version. Unless you've maxed out.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m nowhere near maxed out. But I AM my only competitor

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As it should be

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Outside of my ability to change.

I'll gladly give someone the championship belt if they want it that bad, I'm a little busy to puff out my chest to compare dick sizes

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

By talking about your plans, you invite comparison with that Rian, even if he may never exist.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm more concerned over the dopamene I get for running my mouth

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's the only reasonable explanation for the noob tendency to tell the wife about fight club. Mommy's validation provides the rush.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

it's why new years resolutions don't work/

[–]subgirl1822 points3 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

I've been reading The Alpha Females Guide to Men and Marriage, which is basically a manifesto for red pilled women. I haven't told my husband in case he thinks I'm faking suddenly being this awesome wife I've been working on becoming (never felt more myself in fact). Do men think like that? Would it be bad if he found out?

[–]weakandsensitive6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck is an alpha female? Do you peg him or something?

[–]subgirl1821 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

According to the book it's career minded, assertive women who spent most of their time in their 'masculine energy' x

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't call yourself an alpha female if you aren't pegging.

Also, don't be the fish trying to give fishing advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

....fade to uncontrolled laughter......

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think that for men it is a net positive that you are making an effort. I think the fact that generally women and men want different things is the key. Women want a TrueAlphaTM who can provide for them and their family, protect them, and pass on good genes. This is why it isn't in his best interest to diminish his improvements in a woman's eyes. Women communicate through actions, right, so you want to SEE his improvements not hear about them.

Conversely, a man is looking for a woman who is very focused on pleasing him, through service within the household, in the bedroom and respectful behavior. A man hearing that his wife has a renewed interest in excelling in these areas would be very welcome.

[–]subgirl1822 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad, he's definitely noticed a big difference in me both around the house and in the bedroom but I haven't let on that I'm deliberately trying to be a better wife for him x

[–]SepeanMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For men, the conscious effort to please is sexy, as long as the desire to please is honest.

[–]subgirl1823 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is, he deserves the best of me, thank you x

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No he wouldn't mind, because of the differences between the two sexual imperative and roles. Leaders...want obedience and deference no matter the motivation. Followers... want a leader worth following, which is why leaders are vetted. From an RP sexual imperative viewpoint.. women want the alpha leadership characteristics and worthy leadership and test for them. Men on the other hand want respect. If a woman has to read a book to pull her head out of her vagina to do that it won't matter, because respect/deference is what he wants, assuming he is not a BP that can't handle it.

[–]subgirl1820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your reply, he seems to be enjoying taking the lead so I think he'd handle it ok x

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

How long can you fake it for him is the real question?

[–]subgirl1822 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I'm not faking, I'm learning how to step back and let him take the lead and we're both happier and better for it. So... indefinitely! I just worry that he would think I'm faking if he knew what I've been reading

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Our relationship has been naturally moving in a dominate/submissive direction for a while. A bit ago my wife started reading about it, and I guess things started to click for her based on the experiences in our relationship. She came to me, "confessed" that she had been reading about this, expecting some fallout. Of course I was very supportive, since it's what I want too. We already had a really good thing going, but now it is on another level. We have a signed D/s contract, I am as happy as ever and so is she. She calls me Daddy, she wears a symbolic collar 24/7, and things are just generally on easy mode.

[–]subgirl1820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aw glad her confession had a positive outcome!

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If he ever finds out and suspects you've been faking, wrap your lips around his cock and don't remove them until you swallow. He'll know that wasn't fake.

[–]subgirl1821 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Haha x

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why haha? it's not a joke. Read some more.

[–]subgirl1821 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry, I didn't take it as a joke, just the way you put it across was so blunt it made me laugh x

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks, I misunderstood.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess there are women on the internet after all...

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't forget about the second rule of Fight Club!

[–]tmh88mrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this post, this was on my mind a lot recently.

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If one has a mastery of the concepts, then one can talk about it all day, because one would not use TRP/MRP language. One would tailor the language to the audience, so they could understand the concepts in more palatable forms.

[–]SKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For women, they want the stage performance, not the hours of practice or rehearsals and outtakes. That is the magician's burden. Of course we all know how much a master musician has practiced to hone his craft, but when he's on stage we want to forget that as much as possible or else it's not possible to enjoy the performance.

This is a privilege that flows ONLY downward, which means we may find our children's attempts at walking and talking absolutely adorable. But the halo effect never works upward.

Attraction is a pure instinct. What attracts is always and only the finished product. Devotion can support a product that's in manufacturing, but attraction is never inspired by an unfinished product. Attraction is fundamentally different from devotion. Think of it as buying a car without the seats of the engine - as a customer you wouldn't accept this no matter what your dealer tried to suggest.

Well men, you are now that car. I can tell you that while the artist takes pride in fashioning his furniture out of raw wood, raw wood has no use for his customers. This is the fundamental difference between devotion and attraction. Devotion is creative, attraction is reactive.

And speaking of reading, my ex once complained that reading someone else's ideas felt like having sex with someone else. Of course we all know how we know everything about sex, but the emotion itself needs to deny this aspect or else the awareness and analysis kills it.

Do not explain a joke. Do not explain a magic trick. Do not explain, only attract. The rational and emotional dimensions of the brain are very different. Analysis and experience are different. Talking about your favourite food does not give you the experience of eating it (though when words become arousing then it's different, but then those words are never analyzing words).

Analysis in eastern philosphy is like a sword that cuts and dissects the experience to understand it, while emotion is the juice that makes the experience come alive. So applying analysis while experiencing kills the experience, while creating the right emotions will bring it to life.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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