Info 40 years old, 6’1”, 178 lbs, married 13 years, 2 boys: 16 & 13.
Physical Health I hit the gym 2-3 times a week for lifting. I work one area each visit: push, pull, legs, and core. I run 6-10 miles a week. I stretch for 25 minutes after all lifting days. I’m close to earning my blue belt in BJJ from training the last year. The same gym teaches kickboxing and I started that about 8 months ago and take an occasional MMA class as well. About a month ago I added yoga once a week to the training and I intermittently fast everyday for 16 hours. I started that 3 weeks ago and have lost 10 additional pounds. I completed an impromptu 36 hour fast last weekend. I think I’ll end my fasting early on lifting days now that I’m closer to my target body image. The last little gut is the hardest to lose for me and I’m close to seeing all my abs, not just the top 4. My weight at 18 months back was 218 and I’m down to 178. I’m not sure what my body fat percentage is. I’m curious so I should get that checked. I have been on a strict keto diet for the entire process and I love it. I started testosterone injections one ago, half a CC once a week. I was at 246 and last check was at 740. Currently taking Vitamin D3, fish oil, and DIM for supplements. BCAAs during workouts. I got off the Wellbutrin last August and had a vasectomy in November. I competed in a BJJ tournament last fall and enjoyed it, 3rd place gi and 2nd place no gi. Planning another this summer, pre blue belt. I’ve talked about future training with my coaches for a potential MMA fight but that will require lots more time in the gym and I haven’t even begun that process. I’m just not ruling it out as an option. It feels good to consider that I could be capable of doing that but honestly it could be crazy talk from an inexperienced and over ambitious white belt.
Reading I’ve completed reading on 10 of the sidebar books, NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP, MAP, Saving a Low Sex Marriage, The Rational Male, The Way of the Superior Man, The Book of Pook, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat. I’m currently reading 2 more, 48 Laws of Power and Day Bang. I am working Dread level 6-7.
Frame I don’t know when it happened but when I stopped giving a shit about what she thought I was doing right or wrong I started making real progress internally. I stopped saying “I’m sorry” for all the little things I apologized for in the past and I own my shit when I make a mistake. I don’t have a problem admitting fault and remaining confident about it. Funny thing is my wife now is the one who says “I’m sorry” for all the little things and she rarely apologized for anything before. I am getting better at not engaging her drama when it presents itself and the shit tests have decreased. I feel more comfortable guiding her out of her problems when they arise. Those situations would turn into a fight in the past when she couldn’t trust my leadership and I see that now. I feel stronger and confident. I see a difference in the way others interact with me and I like it. I have become better at starting conversations with people and have little trouble opening and talking with more attractive females. I don’t feel as intimidated. My quality of conversations with both sexes has improved where I don’t feel like I’m trying to keep the interest level up just to keep talking. Most of my coworkers are men and I regularly get asked what I’m eating/doing in respect to my appearance. I have tried to direct so many guys to MRP and a couple may have actually started reading here. It has changed my life more than I could have imagined 18 months ago. I have changed my life. I feel inspired to help others see the light because it is all so simple and clear after some education. We took a trip to Colorado over spring break this year and had car trouble on the way. Then my youngest son, 13, broke his leg on the slopes. Through those 2 big issues we remained positive and kept on moving forward with our plans as they changed. A couple years ago that would have been devastating and I know it worked out because I kept my frame and handled everything strong. She even took notice on how we had a great vacation despite having setbacks.
Sex My sex life has improved, in quality and frequency, and I don’t get frustrated when I hear “no” anymore, which isn’t very often. I just vocalize to her that it will happen the next day and it usually does. The soft “no” is becoming easier to penetrate. Generally when she doesn’t want sex she’ll offer a hand job instead. She even has been wearing sexier clothes to bed in an attempt for me to initiate. Saw a thong on her for the first time in years twice lately.
Comfort Test I saw my first comfort test a couple weeks ago which signaled that my wife recognized my SMV is above hers and honestly it is way above hers now. I’ve known this for some time and haven’t really cared if she noticed it or not. Which probably aided in prompting the insecurity and comfort test. I barely passed it because at first thought it was another shit test and started flunking. Being my first comfort test I had difficulty with the experience and didn’t score 100 percent. I turned it around and eventually gained from the situation but it was a tough couple of days. She has shown interest in taking kickboxing classes and yoga with me so it’s positive that she wants to get healthier. I offered to help modify her diet to keto and she seemed interested. She got off the IUD birth control in December and I see an improvement in her overall. It has been an adjustment with the addition of her having a monthly cycle but with some tracking I can adjust my Alpha to accommodate.
Owning My Shit I still struggle with maintaining my frame with my youngest son, 13. I’m trying out new consequences for his behavior and it’s difficult to find one that works. I now have a much stronger relationship with my 16 year old and have started him on reading some Red Pill material. He seems interested and I reference all I have learned when we talk about girls and their behavior. I wish my dad had the educated advantage I now have. It would have been a great head start when I was 16. My oldest started BJJ 2 months ago and my youngest will too when he heals from the broken leg. I could benefit from increasing my male circle of friends and I’ll make a better attempt to plan time with more of my coworkers and BJJ buddies. I sometimes make the mistake of telling my wife about work problems and I’m getting better at finding friends to talk about those things. I also talk too much with her about plans for my day or week with chores around the house and things I need to accomplish when I need to just shut up and act. She doesn’t need to hear me think out loud about my decisions. My biggest help has been resetting every day. It is still difficult sometimes but I work that constantly. I also try to remember to be more attractive and less unattractive. At first glance this appeared to be silly and too simple but for me it has been great advice to follow. Thank you to all those who posted their personal stories and all the educators who shared their knowledge. It all started slow and I was optimistic about a plan for my future but results felt sluggish because I was judging my progress on my wife’s actions in the beginning. I’m way past that now and I see the last year and a half as a major change slowly making my way to where I am today. I still have progress to make but it seems to get easier as it’s just fine tuning and maintenance mostly instead of major life changes.
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