TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

123

Lurker of about 2 months. Both of us early forties. Married 14 years, together 20. 3 school aged kids.

Making like Eric Clapton and had enough bad love?

I swallowed the pill and have some intel to share with my MRP friends who, like me, may just be starting down the MRP path. Having sex on average 5 to 6 times a month with wife which is what led me here. It’s ramped up slightly after RP; but still not anywhere close to where it needs to be. At Dread Level 3 now with plenty of work and hobbies outside of the house. Still getting hard rejections about half the time – but not being butt hurt about it.

My advice is this: if you settle for, or moreover, allow, bad sex then you will receive more bad sex.

After swallowing the pill I hit the gym and went a little too Rambo to start. I remembered reading here and also in Sex God Method that you should never be the nice guy who asks his girl, “Can I put my dick in your mouth?” You should tell her, “I’m going to put my dick in your mouth.” DIVI. Well, after initiating with the wife one morning we get into it. She just came from me fingering her so I decide to keep it going with my fingers while I put my dick in her mouth. Being a newfound Sex God, I announce, “I’m going to put my cock in your mouth.” Well, you can guess what happened next…”You need to ask me instead of just doing it.”

“No.” I say.

“What do you mean, ‘No?’”

“I’m not doing that. I’m not asking to have my wife suck my cock.”

“You think you can do whatever you want to me?”

“I understand how you might feel that way, but I don’t think sex is a game of ‘mother-may-I.’ You are my wife. I’m here in bed with you out of desire and love for you. I hope that’s the same reason why you’re here with me. If you want me to ask permission before every act, that’s not going to work for me.”

A little DEER’y – I know – but I felt like an explanation had to be made as to not come off too autistic. After that explanation my answers became much shorter. Broken record. “No, I’m not doing that.” “No.” “No.”

It went back and forth like this for a minute. I kept the talking to a minimum but stuck to my guns that while having sex with my wife, I wasn’t asking for shit. Old me would have tried to smooth it over – anything to get the pussy; especially while she’s wearing my favorite lingerie no less! Gotta get the pussy!

But new RP me isn’t settling for shitty sex where I have to ask all nice-nice to have my dick sucked. So, I waited for her to end one of her diatribes, paused, maintained good eye contact and said, “OK, I’m out.” Took my stinger, got out of bed and started getting dressed to go and do something else.

She followed me. She was drop-a-nuclear-bomb kind of mad and blabbering a mile a minute. At one point she said, “…so what’s your answer?” My response was, “I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening there for a minute, what was the question?” IDGAF.

I continued to get dressed and prepared to leave while she blabbered on. She accuses me of cheating. (I’m not.) When asked direct questions about asking permission instead of announcing, I just kept giving her more broken record, “No. I’m not going to do that. I’m not asking.”

I stayed calm and matter of fact when I had to respond, but mostly tried to STFU as much as possible at this point. She was bullshit. Her hamster must have been spinning the wheel quite hard as she was feeling a tiny bit of power slip away. The pussy always got compliance; this new dynamic will not stand! As she continued her yelling/blabbering/accusations, I thought of a great post here about holding frame. The advice was this: imagine you have antlers. Not any antlers, but a majestic 24 point, 6 foot-wide set of antlers the likes of which the world has never seen. You can’t help but smile while you think about your gigantic rack. I am the king-shit buck of this house. And that’s what I did. I had to stop myself from laughing as she’s frothing at the mouth about how I will ask to do things to her instead of announcing that I was going to do it. Old me would have been so worried about making it all right again and worried if we would make it through this existential crisis. New me? No shit to give. Me and my 24 point rack don’t have time for this foolishness.

I continued to STFU and get my shit together so I can get out of the house. She finally runs out of gas and offers a compromise in the face of my “no” broken record. “I would rather you just put your dick in my face for me to suck instead of announcing that you’re going to put it in my mouth.” OK, I can live with that. I still leave but I do my best to be stoic; giving her a kiss on my way out like I would my daughter.

We had sex the next day and that’s exactly what I did, put my dick in her face. And she sucked it. Problem solved. The sun also rises.

I think the important difference from the past is that after this “disagreement” I didn’t get butt hurt that day or the next. I was sweet, happy, smiling – ratcheted up the kino and pretended like it never happened. She needs the feelz, give her something positive and lead her to being happy too.

Fast forward to a few weeks later and we are in bed about to get started doing the deed. She is wearing probably my second favorite piece of lingerie today. This is going to be good. Oh, what’s this? She’s yawning. I ask her, “Are you here right now or somewhere else?” This degrades into some kind of argument, and, quite honestly I can’t remember what the hell it was about because again, I just looked her in the eye and said, “OK, I’m out. I don’t have time for this. I have to get up at 5am to go to the gym, so I’m gonna go to sleep.” I got up, turned off the light, got on my side of the bed and set myself up to go to sleep. I left her on her side of the bed to pout in her lingerie which, I am sure, made her feel uneasy. Honestly, I was hoping that she would reach over and try to smooth it out, but she didn’t and I was OK with that. 10 minutes later, she gets up in the dark and puts on her pajamas. I didn’t say another word and neither did she. Old me would have DEER’d it out and it would have ended with starfish/duty sex. Fuck that. I’d rather have no sex than bad sex.

The next morning, my alarm goes off at 5am and I’m out of bed to the gym. When I get back I help out with the kid’s morning routine and get myself ready for work. Morning pleasantries with wife, happy, smiles, a little kino drive by… After kids are on the bus, I walk into the bedroom to finish getting ready for work and she’s wearing nothing but the lingerie from the night prior. (She never initiates.) “Want to try to do this again?” Of course I do…and it was good sex where she actually put an effort in. Different positions, oral, dirty talk, acting slutty – she checked all my boxes.

Executive summary: If you are given bad sex, don’t take it. You don’t have bad sex anymore. You only have good sex. Even if you’re balls deep and she’s not putting in the effort, walk away. It will pay dividends.


[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good for you.

You are realizing asking<announcing<doing. Next step is commanding.

"On your knees, right now. Close your eyes and open your mouth. Good girl."

Remember, you're only 1/7 along in your journey.

And your frame fragility is readily evident in your responses to the other captains here, Captain Rambo.

Ease back on those throttles, stop talking to your wife so much.

You're in this for you, remember.

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Message received. I read Captain Rambo. Awesome analogy and a great read. Thanks.

[–]worldbuilder6913 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You talk way too much

“I understand how you might feel that way, but I don’t think sex is a game of ‘mother-may-I.’ You are my wife. I’m here in bed with you out of desire and love for you. I hope that’s the same reason why you’re here with me. If you want me to ask permission before every act, that’s not going to work for me.”

ZZZZZZZZ get to the fucking point

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is this not how it plays out in the world of rpg's?

[–]worldbuilder693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"No, you're my wife. If I have to get permission for every act, that's not going to work."

[–]2ndal22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“You think you can do whatever you want to me?”

you missed this opportunity.

"yes i do" (while sticking your cock in her mouth)

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

“I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening there for a minute, what was the question?” IDGAF.

This has got to be my favorite part.

OP you've got some good ground going. The weakness you displayed in your frame needs to be shored up. What most of the guys here are looking for is the progress that shows what you've earned and where you haven't.

My assessment is that your girl is into you. Frankly most wives are into their husbands despite the fucked up BP ideals that get in the way. There are a few that have women that are firmly entrenched in the feminist ideals.

This said it's yours to fuck up.

How I know all this your broke frame when some fat dudes on the internet take swipes at you. If that 24 inch rack is real....then why does it bug you so?

Another note: As some have noticed the frequency of sex may never increase beyond what you have experienced with her. The quality will increase.

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Redd, I appreciate your comments and insight. I agree 100 percent - I have to shore up the frame. It's been the hardest part so far...

[–]valdry0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, great post about enjoying and actually craving sex with your wife on your terms. I envy that so much, alas I don’t crave sex with mine at all. I would say we average 1-2 times per yr. Guess I should post this in DBedrooms but the difference is I don’t want to have sex more. I’m not attracted to her at all anymore.(weight). An yes she knows what she needs to do(physical therapist), she just doesn’t for whatever reasons you can think of. Kids/family time etc. She won’t get up early. You know this bitch actually had the nerve to tell me what I was going to do before sucking my dick the last time we had sex. Like trying to bitch me out..ex”Your going to do the dishes tomm right”..I just said nothing and she continued..but the gall to even try that shit..smh.

[–]CalPolyJohn5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just one quick question on your last example. Your wife yawned once and that caused you to ask her if she was really here or somewhere else. Isn't that a bit of an overreaction? Just because she yawned you thought she wouldn't be ready for good sex?

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. You're right. Should have let that go. The yawning she does is usually a prelude to a crappy session.

[–]Your_average_Russian3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wife likes to tease me about not coming onto her at bedtime. So one saturday morning, she asks with a smirk:
- Hey we didn't have sex last night right?
- Nope.
- Why not?
- You were asleep.
- Why not wake me up?
- Nah I'm not rubbing all over your sleepy ass hoping to get lucky. I'd rather just sleep.
- You'd rather sleep than fuck me?
- Yep.
- I thought you liked me... - Nope. I don't find you sexually attractive.
- Yeah well fuck you too, asshole:)

We then proceeded to fuck for 2 hours straight, took a long nap afterwards and didn't do anything productive in the whole day.

[–]derektwerd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As I was reading this and you got to this part.

You should tell her, “I’m going to put my dick in your mouth.”

Being a newfound Sex God, I announce, “I’m going to put my cock in your mouth

I thought to myself, don't say shit, just do it.

“I would rather you just put your dick in my face for me to suck instead of announcing that you’re going to put it in my mouth.”

Even your wife agrees.

I actually had a little chuckle as I imagined myself shouting this out while putting my hands on my hips, sticking my chest out and looking into the distance, like I'm about to embark on an epic quest to get my dick suck.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode5 points6 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

... Two months ...

Don't you think this whole "old me" versus "new me" vernacular is a little dramatic?

Given the two month time frame?

Interesting saga but that two months was 1/480th of your life, bro... perhaps not so much time for such a Herculean "change."

I would encourage the same newbies you are talking to.. impressing with your prowess... to be somewhat jaded about the very concept of such an overnight success.

Smells like teen spirit.

BTW... Regarding this...

  • After swallowing the pill I hit the gym and went a little too Rambo to start.

When was that? Three days after discovering MRP?


Good on the STFU.

[–]BoalG17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Wait... Why are you hating on two months? First of all, we are here to encourage, share, and support each other so take that hater shit somewhere else. Second, old me vs. new me is the day you decide you're not going to be a blue pill beta anymore. He saw the change he needed to make, he made it, and he's been on the path for two months working on himself. Props to OP.

[–]officepeeon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Agreed that we "are here to encourage, share, and support" but we all do that differently. Some are firm and direct, some cynical and crass, some faggoty. Wirh luck, the spectrum of advice drives the point home.

[–]BoalG0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I totally agree. johneyapocalypse did neither. He was just hating on the amount of time OP has been on his journey. OP found success in a tactic and came here to share - also to get feedback I'm sure like any of us should do.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not hating on his post, I'm pointing out the pitfalls of perceived and profound "change" from "old me" to "new me" occurring over a two-month period. It's a common phenomenon here. Roll in, read a few books, go Rambo, and pronounce to the world "I am a changed man" a mere two months into it.

It's the American way.... get it big and get it fast.

If only it were so easy.

I'm happy for the dude and glad he had sex with his wife.

And while I find your comments naive and even juvenile, I'm not hating on them either. While I don't have this power of magical thinking you possess - to simply "decide" and preternaturally manifest change - and, further, while I believe it's very disneyesque and apropos for a book of dreck like, say, The Secret - and moreso, while I had to work my balls off, thousands of hours, to achieve what I have achieved, I won't begrudge you for providing such rubbish advice.

MRP is littered with the metaphorical bodies of dudes who, like you suggest, "chose to decide (they're) not going to be a blue pill beta anymore," did little else, and effectively achieved nothing.

Apparently, however, it works for you. More power to you.

You're like the David Blaine of MRP.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

encourage, share, and support each other

Da fuq? This isn't a pansy-ass support circle...faggot.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll see that newbies want gay hugs.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Who the fuck is down voting this?

[–]weakandsensitive[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

idk - but i banned both of those guys for suggesting this is a lovey dovey huggy kissy circle.

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I thought the goal of this whole exercise is to share sexual strategy that gets married guys fucking again. This has worked for me. Try it if your not getting what you want. Or don't. I could give two shits.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stay focused.

"Old me" versus "new me" = 2 months.

Thoughts?

[–]ex_addict_broDivorced - MRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fibrillation! Apoc, location?!

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tank, we’re going to need a signal soon.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree that is pretty quick change, but not unheard of. I think the rub in this scenario is that OP has to be sure not to relapse into his Beta ways though, or he's super-fucked. More gradual change yields more room for mistakes; fast change means one has to be on point at all times. So while the fast change is somewhat unusual, if he has the frame for it, it should be fine. Any slip backward is death though, for sure, because then his wife will be convinced it was all a bullshit act.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What irks me is this "old me" talk... at two months. Change is change but the core of our personality and behaviors does not go from "old" to "new" in the span of 60 days.

That view is one way to let the "slip" you speak of sneak up on you... and then there will be chaos.

With that said, I'm all for striving to change and doing so aggressively.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

At Dread Level 3

Slow your roll. Where are you on the sidebar?

Still getting hard rejections about half the time

Then you’re being autistic and not reading cues. Again, sidebar 101

A little DEER’y – I know

A little? Dude, you had a full blown hostage negotiation during sex.

You’re all over the place on this post- it’s hard to read. We don’t need a play by play on every encounter, maybe a general overview. Your main point was decent, but alll your destiny suggests you need to learn the art of STFU and hit they sidebar

Did I mention the sidebar yet?

[–]KyfhoMyobaMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP: Women talk, men do. Demonstrate, don't explicate. Acta, non verba.

You're welcome.

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm unsure her whether you just badgered your way into a BJ (and lets remember this is one BJ) or if you have effectively led your way to change.

u/Triadis3 is a great source of wisdom especially if you are looking to assert total dominance.

I'm more intrigued whether OP - with his new account, at DL3, and 2 months in - is making real chamge with his sex life or just whinging his way to getting what he wants.

Time will tell.

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough.

User account age being some kind of proxy for dick size seems to be a prevalent theme here.

I'm not starting from a rock bottom moment. I'm not a fat slob or a gamer. I've been on the path of change prior to MRP, but I didn't have a cohesive strategy until now. I had some of the pieces but failed to see how they could all fit together until starting here. And, I am just starting. I get it. I'm really thankful for finding the MRP and the wealth of knowledge that has been put together here.

[–]thunderbeyond3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of people come and go, and a lot of new accounts post shit and never come back.

Good on you man. I'm happy that you have found this place, I'm a massive advocate for it. Stick with it and you will go far. I'm also with you on not settling on sub-par efforts from your wife.

My point is about changing her behavior. If you can get long-term change then all power to you.

[–]rocknrollchuckMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

User account age being some kind of proxy for dick size seems to be a prevalent theme here.

No, user account age usually correlates with the ability to understand the nuances here, and the frame to make it work successfully. Newer accounts often belong to Rambos.

[–]sabresixtwo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Union shop much?

[–]FossilGuy160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Liked the update. The first time making changes never goes smoothly and I don’t mind addressing the change with the wife one time and one time only. Helps direct the hamster to the exit, after that nothing more needs to be said. I am at a stage where I need to start making this type of change, refusing sex where my wife isn’t into it and not making an effort. This type of post helps reinforce what I was already thinking.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter