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From a comment earlier...expanded in a couple areas

I've never liked the trust but verify mantra. By this I don't mean not knowing where your girl is going. Of course you should be generally interested in her life. Part of that whole relationship gig. Still some believe in keeping even closer tabs. So following up, confirming where she is and what she was doing smacks of a lack of frame. It smacks too much of me wasting my time to verify what is being told to me. I would then live in someone else's frame until I can verify what they are telling me. It's also a slippery slope of how much do I verify? Do I get a PI? GPS trackers? What? Furthermore, I have come to see trust as a weapon. Think about it. Someone says they don't trust you anymore and that you need to work towards earring that trust back. But are you ever given a check list? A set of tasks to perform to earn that trust? No.

I came to this conclusion during my journey as I would watch my shrew of a wife constantly tell me she doesn't trust me. It goes back from nearly the day we were married. I got up for work one day and she just blurts it out. The next 17 years I was and am held to a standard I never understood nor was given the rules for. When someone says they don't trust you what you get is a bevy of servant tasks and behavior controls that just keep you in your place. Yet what it's really nothing more than the other party maintaining control on you.

We use trust as a weapon. To hold someone to us and cause them to heel. Yet in our myopic views we rarely see the other side. Mistrust is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Furthermore what if the other party no longer wants your trust? You can only be made to heel for so long before you get tired of it. It's part of why men became betas. In order to please. Being held accountable to a "trust standard" that you don't know the criteria for is the exact same thing. A covert contract you both write.

What's more is that you will never earn the trust back you once had or what you perceived you had. This is because trust is never really earned. It can't be. It's given. We give trust and we do it all the time. We trust strangers to do things for us without harming us. Baristas to serve coffee without pissing in it. Restaurants to serve food that isn't poisoned. This is why when trust is violated at a public level it is so horrific.

There are millions of ways we trust in small doses each day to people we've rarely met or interacted with. Just think of any number of things we do on a daily basis that rely on someone doing their job correctly. Yet in our relationships we reserve the highest standards for this trust and suddenly the script is flipped and you must earn that trust. No. Trust is given and you keep giving it until you come to the point where you can no longer. It's called having boundaries. Once you can't give it any more the relationship is dead.

Before I launch into the loyalty part it behooves us to reexamine Briffault's law. You can follow the link and read it. Briffault's Law establishes the female role in a relationship and in society. The rules are right there in front of us. We have been given the play book. Understanding where a woman's mindset is and how a RP man can use the idea of trust vs loyalty is beneficial on breaking the chains of control. Earning trust is all about control.

Briffault's Law is what established the hierarchy of love. Man, Woman, Child. It's also what established the idea she is never yours, just your turn. With this concept in mind consider that acts of loyalty need to be daily. They are what she gives you. Sure one can see the dynamic as she working for your trust and keeping her on a short leash…seems to appeal right? Yet consider who works harder? The one who is earning trust or the one who has to keep verifying that trust? We already know exactly what her priorities are. Therefore, we already know exactly how far we can trust her.

Compared to loyalty. Some will say women are not loyal not in the same way men are, remember women suck at overt communication. They are loyal...if you are Alpha enough and can demand that loyalty. Where loyalty differs from trust is that it's an act. A woman can demonstrate loyalty to you by her actions. A fantastic article about Managing your bitch details this to some degree. Some will tell you to trust your women to go on a GNO after all you can go out with your friends. Why can't she? If she breaks that trust next her. Yet what does this mean? There's no boundary here or if there are you have to list them out to her. Ugh…like a fool you have to sit her down and go over all the rules. Really? Ok yeah I get it we like the whole treat them like girls idea, but for fuck's sake who has the time to do that? Create a list of rules. Spend the time with her going over them and already establishing some level of mate guarding. Just like her dad did right? Remember the girl that used to sneak around when her parents slept? Yeah…keep going that way and see what happens.

Without the loyalty component, she can be trusted to go right to the line with another guy. Invite the validation and play around with it like a cat does a mouse....but you trust her to come home to you. You trust her to fuck you. So what where she gets her motor running. Right? Yeah. Thing is this is an act of disloyalty. She entertained the idea. It would be different if she laughed at a beta who was trying to get into pants. If a woman is with her Alpha she won't turn her head. She will instinctually know what she will lose. If she does sleep with some random dude? Its more likely the Alpha didn't vet well or knew what he was getting into and didn't care (ie a plate).

Women can't completely stop a beta or even another Alpha from coming up to them. It's just a fact as Alphas our women are going to attract other guys. Yet women know exactly how to turn off orbiters and know exactly how to stop attention. Just as they know how to keep them going. Women don't write these covert contracts. Other men do.

I've seen it play out this way many times. It's a simple "nope not interested" or other road block they will throw up. They have a series of them. If your girl is into you she will do it until it becomes necessary for her to send you in or make mention of you. RP talks all the time about being shut down by women, so clearly the are capable of it. If she is repeatedly seeking, inviting, enjoying validation from other guys it's a sign and it's an act of disloyalty. If she mentions it to you (OMG I need to tell you…) she may have found it amusing and thinks you might as well….but never forget it's a shit test. Your response confirms your Alpha status. Yet there is a deeper meaning here.

Threading the needle for you. Look at her actions not her words. Loosely, Trust is about words. Loyalty is about actions. I can tell someone I trust them all day long and get all sorts of productivity out of them. Doesn't mean I am going to want them standing a post with me deep in Injun Territory at 0300. Loyalty means I wouldn't have to ask. They would support my mission regardless, and would know how to do it.

Only you know where this stands on the acts of loyalty as it stakes up across the relationship. Acts of loyalty are accumulative but it only takes one act of disloyalty to remove it all. If this is systemic. She's disloyal and you know what to do. Compare it to business. Men are in a constant state of earning profit. We want to end our fiscal year in the black. Some of us have multiple gigs/businesses going. Of course these prices will vary based on market value but go with it...

  • Sex maybe earns $10.
  • Certain sexual acts ups the margin. Varies between the man.
  • Supporting your mission in life maybe $20.
  • being supportive $35 per action
  • Doing laundry, cooking, let's say $30 for each time it is done
  • Nag? Complain, be negative all the time then the account losses money to the bank. At three times the rate it went in. (NOTE there is a difference in her coming to you for support and just plain being negative)

At the end of the quarter, fiscal year the man will take an account. If the account is in the black when he makes this assessment he will make a return on that investment. if not...then he looks for other profit centers. Why would a man continue his investment in a profit center that is losing money or a low earner? If he is putting in the time to fix it, to get it to earn again but the maybe the business has run its course.

Maybe it was never really a viable idea to begin with. Maybe he is just a bad business man. As time goes on you will look at that account and wonder why you only accept having $17 for your time and commitment, when you know someone is willing to make a bigger investment. But the man can only do this once he knows his business acumen is solid and proven.


[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

well said

[–]Redagogue6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

There is an error in semantics between trust and loyalty here muddying the waters. Your harpy wife could have easily said that she doubted your loyalty to her or the family, resulting in the same untenable situation. Trust is an internal judgement of another person towards what you care about. That it can be externalized and vocalized as a weapon does not make it a weapon inherently. Trust is a better word than loyalty for this. Loyalty is a feeling that the subordinate has toward the superior. Thus, the loyalty of a woman is intrinsically worthless due to the mercurial nature of their emotions, their hormones, how easily they are manipulated, etc. How many times has a loyal woman been turned against their husband because of Chad, feminism, and her single girlfriends? Too many. Trust is the judgement of the superior on the subordinate, and encompasses not only her feelings of loyalty but also her ability to be loyal as well as her self-interest in staying loyal. A trustworthy but unloyal wife is preferrable to a untrustworthy but loyal wife. A disloyal wife can be converted, but trust, once broken, is not repairable. Many of Ghengis Khan's best generals were former enemies that he turned to his cause by appealing to their self-interest, being trustworthy but (in the beginning) not loyal.

It is also odd that you dislike "trust but verify" because of the supposed burden of investigating it, but then later you talk of watching her actions for signs of loyalty. That's the verification part, the medium is the message. Which is it? This lacks consistency. Also, someone can just as well profess loyalty (vows at a wedding, I-love-you's, facebook posts, pictures, behavior with family) and be ultimately disloyal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A trustworthy but unloyal wife is preferrable to a untrustworthy but loyal wife. A disloyal wife can be converted, but trust, once broken, is not repairable.

This distinction added greatly to my understanding. Its utility increased my sense of resourcefulness and agency.

A must read!

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is very related to my post a few weeks ago about giving a shit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Checked it out

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As I said. Trust is what you give until you can't any longer. has nothing to do with the other person, though they can break it show you that you can't trust them. All part of the boundaries issue.

Far too often we use trust as a method of control in our modern society. I am not saying that's right. I am saying that's they way it is.

Loyalty is what they give you.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't trust this post.

[–]Rollo-TomassiMANOSPHERE ICON3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I always get asked about how a guy can vet a woman for a relationship. My answer these days is "does she trust you with her life?" Figuratively, if you were to tell your LTR "Hey we're gonna go skydiving this weekend. Don't worry, I took care of everything. I even packed your parachute myself", what would she say?

https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/07/trust-issues/

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your article was what got me to thinking about trust in a relationship. As I mentioned my shrew from day one began that drum beat of not trusting me.

I knew then but ignored it, her reasons why. Quite simply I didn't fit her idea of what a man is and should be. I am not mechanically inclined. I know how they work it's just when working on cars they end up more broke then before. I am not a wood worker, not steel worker...things her father was (though I am not an alcoholic so go figure). Though I enjoy outdoor activities I am not an avid outdoorsman. I can hunt, fish on occasion but it's not a passion for me.

This said I was a soldier when we married. Held three company commands. Around the world and back again as they say. Proven and tested. I am also a martial artist at the master level. I hold a paramedic's license. Who wouldn't be safe with me?

Still she had to "get used" to the idea that I didn't have the hobbies and traits she thought a man should have. Hence the trust issues. Somewhere in her mind she figured I lied.

When I learned to stop trying to be what I wasn't' and be what I was. You could literally feel the change in the relationship.

[–]RedPillNewb881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a good way to put it and in my head I could almost hear my wife's voice,"Did you find a babysitter for the boys?", "I did", and then she'd say "Hell yes!"

[–]LateralThinker133 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I got up for work one day and she just blurts it out. The next 17 years I was and am held to a standard I never understood nor was given the rules for. When someone says they don't trust you what you get is a bevy of servant tasks and behavior controls that just keep you in your place. Yet what it's really nothing more than the other party maintaining control on you.

Yes. This is not about trust. This is about her maintaining control over you. This is about manipulating you into a position of pleasing her, of servitude. It presupposes a state you haven't earned (untrustworthiness) and then demands an impossible task (earning that trust).

Put that way, it sounds like a BDSM humiliation/sadism game with no safe word.

We use trust as a weapon.

Disagree. It's only used as a weapon by those who are untrustworthy. For everybody else, we use trust as a standard of behavior. We trust the other person, and then occasionally spot check their trusted status to see if it's still valid. Yup, she's actually at the spa like she said and not at Chad's house, trust maintained.

A woman who says she doesn't trust you but can't explain why is damaged goods and untrustworthy herself, full stop. She's using any weapon she can to manipulate those around her. In this example, it's not that she doesn't trust you, it's that she does not want to give you the power that comes with being trusted, despite not having a valid reason to do so. It's about power.

What's more is that you will never earn the trust back you once had or what you perceived you had. This is because trust is never really earned. It can't be. It's given. We give trust and we do it all the time.

Disagree. Trust CAN be increased as you prove yourself. I don't expect some random person or new manager to trust me right off. But as I demonstrate trustworthiness (and loyalty) their trust in me will increase until they let me date their daughter or have a key to the shop, etc.

But that initial state of trust - that I'll act like an honorable human being, follow laws, etc., and build from there? If she doesn't grant me that by default, there's no point in even starting. That's part of why dealing with radfems is impossible: when you start from the assumption that all men are rapists (or potential rapists), dialogue is impossible.

Threading the needle for you. Look at her actions not her words. Loosely, Trust is about words. Loyalty is about actions. I can tell someone I trust them all day long and get all sorts of productivity out of them. Doesn't mean I am going to want them standing a post with me deep in Injun Territory at 0300. Loyalty means I wouldn't have to ask. They would support my mission regardless, and would know how to do it.

I mostly agree with this part, but I think that you conflate and confuse trust and loyalty. I would argue that Briffault's Law mostly relates to Loyalty, not Trust.

BRIFFAULT’S LAW: The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

Where there is no benefit, there is no LOYALTY. Says nothing about trust.

Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

Past benefit does not guarantee current or future LOYALTY. Not trust.

Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)

Again, about LOYALTY.

A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).

Loyalty for future acts only provided to the degree of trust that those future acts will occur. This is the only part that invokes trust, at all.

The whole negative wife from your post above basically hinges here, where the crazy wife is invoking a lack of trust and trying to psych you into proving you are trustworthy so that she can guarantee her future provisioning - that is, to make you more loyal, because she isn't loyal or trustworthy herself.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

you’re missing points.

First you are correct. Yet she is/was using trust as a weapon. Nothing more. Which is what the majority of the blue pill world does.

Second you can not earn trust back once someone has told you they no longer trust you. That’s different from entering a new relationship, which was’t my point. You missed the mark here.

then occasionally spot check their trusted status to see if it's still valid.

And my point is that you are in her frame. Why check up unless you have red flags? Why be on the look out? Either you do or you don’t. If you don’t why are you still there? Many of you are way to afraid of finding out she’s cheating on you. You arne’t being cucked unless you allow it to happen. If she is that good and hiding it then what you’ve really failed at is vetting. If you don’t take action once you find out THEN you are a cuck. My point is don’t live in fear and think you have to check up once in a while. Some normal every day behavior can seem like red flags. It’s consistency over time that tells the tale.

Third, Briffault’s law tells us exactly how far we can trust her. Conversely as you nicely point out it also shows how she will display her loyalty to her man. We know that her kids will come before us. So are we going to willingly make her decide? Put her in situations that we know our trust will be for the kids first? The point here is we know where the line is and yet each and every time betas make the wrong choice. Her behavior is laid out before us. Therefore we know where the line is.

It’s only our behavior that needs to change. Setting the tone, and enforcing boundaries. We should’no be making up a list of rules but she should know that if she violates the trust (sans spoken boundaries) that there will be consequences in how she uses her pussy.

Therefore Loyalty is our only real measure. We already know how far to trust her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is such a thing as healthy paranoia. I may trust a man with my life but not my woman or money. Knowing the nature of women means trust but verify is a requirement in any LTR. A “disloyal” but trusted woman has too much potential to ruin finances, sow discord, and generally cause mayhem.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Someone took the dark triad to heart

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

paying member of Illimitable Men.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You brought up a great 30,000 ft point. New guys think it’s all about sex and frame.

But, it’s impossible to see “the medium is the message “ until a guy can make enough progress and have a rock solid frame and no hard no’s. Once I got to that point where I get sex whenever I want and my frame is mostly unshakable, I started to look at her and wonder

What does she offer besides sex?

I think when my thinking came up to that level, I became the prize, which is a great implication within your post.

Great work.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What does she offer besides sex?

love this question. if you're not seriously asking yourself this question; your abundance mentality needs work.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed- abundance brings the question to the surface

[–]Mukato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My wife has been working on this a lot more recently. As I lose more and more fat and add more and more muscle, she had started going out of her way to add value.

I took complete charge of my food and meals, partly by doing Keto, and partly because I had tons of covert contracts about her cooking for me.

Now she works to try and make food that I can take for lunch, without me asking, or even needing it. Freshly cooked chicken makes a nice addition to the roast beef and cheese.

She also started running with me, something she abhorred the idea of once upon a time, but is now following my lead and working to add some muscle to her rail thin frame.

[–]the-peoplesbadger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s sad that we are brought up thinking that sex adds anything to the table.

Both parties add sex to the table. What as an individual can you bring them, and they bring you.

[–]thunderbeyond1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

+1 for the use of "behooves". Is this a thing now?

This is another post giving me some solid thinking points. Thanks.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im classy n shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is a good post. I personally hate the idea of constant verification and watching. She will do what she does. Came to the conclusion a long time ago trust is given not earned, but the weapon part is great.

I ran into my wife validation seeking yesterday ironically. Wife went up to a surveyor walking around the house (on ovulation day) and struck up a conversation. Called me and said, “The surveyor was hitting on me and now I feel cute. I told him I am too old for him.” And “I just started talking about you.” Trickle truth... blah blah blah. Eventually tells me that she told him basically to ignore relationship status and to be more assertive and how I am assertive and tell you what to do (jerk) BUT then goes on to tell me she told me out of loyalty to me (and because I have cameras on the property and I would see it by her own verbal admission). Note... I don’t watch the cameras... I don’t have time for that shit. She proceeds to shit test and attempt to make me jealous, which I ignored. Even called her out on it, “That’s cute, you got some validation.”

Her version she made it sound like she was just being innocent and asking him if our improvements were on our side and he started hitting on her. Really what I gather from the trickle is she went up to him started flirting and the guy was weirded out and says, “I’m going to get in trouble if I hit on women while on the job.” (She’s 30, horny, and hitting the wall hard... and I see it for what it is. ) then shit tested to get me to go beta on her. I had a good laugh... went home fucked her three times and moved on. She’s turning into the old lady that creeps out young guys. And yes... it’s disloyalty. I don’t like it, but all I can do is watch and see what happened next just out of curiosity.

Timely post for me. Thanks.

[–]socalskweez0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why do you remain with her if she trys to irritate you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I choose to. Why ask a retarded question with an obvious answer?

[–]socalskweez0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

rhetoric, you lose

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a rock solid post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

This is great work. I had a scenario with my wife today that this speaks directly to. The big problem was I had ended up in her frame and my hamster was going mad on the wheel.

Backstory: a month ago I’d called her out on abusing painkillers and hiding it (something I was guilty of in the past, years ago) and I was getting paranoid about ‘what was going on behind the scenes’ with her.

Back Back Story: I had been super paranoid for a number of months prior to taking the RP . That was 5 months ago. My anxiety stemmed from coming off years on prescription pain meds and the early tremors of starting to wake up. Further, the slow realisation of how I had transformed into a Beta, my abdication and my failure to enter into the fight for my own life created tsunamis of excess emotional content.

Anyway, I had fuck all sleep last night and I was pissed off. I woke up, initiated in the kitchen and got a hq blow job to go with my coffee ☕️ . All before I started work. This followed on from a demanding night and day for her in the height of shark 🦈 week. This is a serious transformation in itself. I am saying this not to show off but to show you what a bitch ass I am.

Since the MRP my wife has started to adult the shit out of things. u/Persaeus had laid out the dynamics in detail here for me only a week ago. Check it out what he said. It blew my mind: [edited for context]

it's discussed at length in terms of high self esteem women in Practical Female Psychology. She's a stronger and more rationale woman than your average bird; but ultimately she's still a she and thus push come to shove (harder) it's still feelz over realz. you have to out OYS and out stoic her for her to respect you as her superior. One of the things that PFP talks about is that guys like us that pick women like this are essentially looking for a dude with tits. in other words, we’re afraid of the emotional storm generated your more typical woman. But she ain't a dude with tits and treating her as such will end badly. Putting together the Five Love Languages (take this book with a large dose of red salt btw) and PFP, women like this also have affirmation as one of their love languages. in other words, that large ego needs to be stroked

Armed with that knowledge I went against it all because I wanted to ‘feel’ trust. Yeah, yeah, I know guys, I am face palming 🤦‍♂️ myself for all of you. But I wanted it. It would make me feel better. I wanted it so badly I was toying with going nuclear. That’s how shitty my frame is. That’s how far I am being my own mental point of origin.

On the upside, I have learnt to STFU and get the fuck out of the house. So, I did. This allowed me just enough time to audit the returns on my MRP investment. I concluded the returns had been quite amazing. This calmed me down. So, did the u/BluePillProfessor ‘s tenet of 1 month of Dread for every year of marriage. The rules are here to reduce self sabotage.

To my Fellow New Guys: just stick to rules and Practice. All that overthinking is what got you here in the first place. Just look at how badly I’m implementing and it’s still works. Rule of thumb: if you remember a rule, stop whatever you’re doing and do the rule. Yes, you like me are that fucking stupid. Accept it and move on.

I could see significant changes in my marriage but I couldn’t verify ‘trust’. ‘Trust’, in my mind would erase all uncertainty and I could return to a paradisal state in the Garden of Eden. This is why I wanted to feel it. But trust, doesn’t do this. That is what u/ReddJive has shown here. I wanted ‘trust’ to wash away all doubt. But what ReddJive shows us is that this is not going to happen. He shows us it is possible to become a man who can live with the ambiguity. And also, how to execute excellent judgement in the midst of the fog. For this post today I am most grateful.

*Realising You’re A Dope Can Be it’s Own Deliverance. *

P.S. u/Persaeus, when I got home, I did some light ‘ego stroking’ i never felt more like an OAK. She never melted so softly.

P.P.S: New guys you can be a bad as me at the MRP and still spin straw into gold.

And if you’re as paranoid as me, and fear you still might be getting suckered...I’ve still got 8 months to go and by then my frame won’t buckle. So this shit won’t even matter. I’ll be laughing at the guy who wrote this.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

when I got home, I did some light ‘ego stroking’ i never felt more like an OAK. She never melted so softly.

and,

Realising You’re A Dope Can Be it’s Own Deliverance.

yeah, it's an illustration of how far one can get out of their own frame and common sense that "saying nice things to people makes nice things happen" is a revelation. i know because i have been in the hole that deep and found me way back out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

how far one can get out of their own frame and common sense that "saying nice things to people makes nice things happen" is a revelation.

I literally heard your words in my ears. I felt totally detached, like a dispassionate observer and just thought, Persaeus made a good point I'll try this.

As it pertains to frame, I felt it exercised it. And that my historic reluctance to do it was something 'outside' of my frame. Something that grew from the adoption of an idea or a bad experience.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

my thoughts in your head is a crutch.

figure out what is the best version of me. how do i want people to perceive me. than be that way no matter the circumstances. this is your stoic frame.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I know man.

But you zeroed in on some shit that was super helpful to me. The method is giving me the space to

figure out what is the best version of me. how do i want people to perceive me. than be that way no matter the circumstances. this is your stoic frame.

I am going there. And here's the bittersweet part. I am doing it consciously for the first time in my life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yuck! That's sounds DEERish and victimish.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And here's the bittersweet part. I am doing it consciously for the first time in my life.

could be worse, you could be dead

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

HAHA, True.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Once trust is broken it takes a long time to rebuild, if ever.

Good post.

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Glad you made this a post

[–]RandyBumgardner850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing I've always found with trust is that people who are automatically untrusting are also usually untrustworthy. Partners who constantly accuse the other of cheating with no grounds are usually cheating themselves. People who constantly worry about acquaintances stealing from them are usually thieves.

[–]SirByron0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women are inherently untrustworthy.

Trust is a male value that comes from a conscience. In my life I never saw a woman deal with conscience towards her husband/man.

Its hopeless, you will not find trust in a woman. She navigates the world through feelings, not conscience.

[–]the-peoplesbadger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s sad that you think that. These women are out there. I think they are usually on the higher end of the IQ distribution though.

[–]tokinbl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was long and I view it simply. I trust my girl because she's replaceable. If she fucks up I let her go and get a new one.

She on the other hand has trust issues and complains about me not telling her what I'm doing. I tell her its a need to know business and if she doesn't trust me she can leave.

Hasn't left yet.

[–]uebermacht0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic essay!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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