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FR - Teasing (self.marriedredpill)

submitted by wildnight98

This report describes how I used an MRP technique to end weeks of passive-aggressive anger from my wife and resulted in wild monkey sex.

Background: [Here's my last OYS for stats etc.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7x81aw/own_your_shit_weekly_february_13_2018/du6alya/) So our relationship has been in Siberia for a couple weeks, DBR, and as late as Tuesday night when I playfully asked "why don't we just kiss and make up?" She angrily said "because you need to apologize first. Your problem is you don't even think you did anything wrong!" I smiled and lightly said "ok" and went off to do my own thing.

Since we've been in Siberia I didn't get her anything for V-day morning. Just woke up normally and cheerfully wished her a happy one. She was cold, per usual.

Mid-morning Wednesday I read U/Reach180's [comment] (https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7x81aw/own_your_shit_weekly_february_13_2018/du6sdz3/) about teasing your wife and provoking arguments to give her feelz. Now, in the last couple go rounds my wife has complained that it seems like (1) I don't give a sh!t, (2) don't even care about her, and (3) need to give her an emotional connection. Feedback in my OYS on this point suggests I am being too autistic in my STFUing, even though I am not robotic or anything. So when I read the comment a light bulb went off. I thought, I need to lead her out of her anger by being playful and giving her feelz to replace the negative feelz that are currently satisfying her.

After lunch on Wednesday I made a surprise pop-in visit to see her at her work. She saw me walking over and gave me a grim look that said "what are you doing here." I came over, kissed her on the presented cheek (no kissing in Siberia) and said "I'm here to give you your Valentine's Day present!" She looked at my empty hands and said "what is it?" I said, playfully, "me, silly! You're welcome." She gave me a dubious look but I could tell I had her interest.

Then I said, "no, I did get you candy." And I pulled a small bag of skittles out of my pocket. (We really should set up a scholarship fund for that kid or something.) I tossed it down on the table and said "I hope you like it!" I wish I could describe the series of expressions on her face as her hamster tried to figure out what to do with that. She didn't say anything about it, but later when her boss came by to say hi, she was like, "look what he got me for valentine's--skittles" and I could tell she was enjoying complaining about it.

Then we had a nice chat and I teased her several times in a playful way. Shortly I left, "see ya!"

Fast forward through a busy afternoon of getting kids, family dinner out, and putting kids to bed. I'm in bed working on my laptop and she comes in in lingerie I've never seen before, looking delicious. We start deep kissing (pre-MRP she would almost never kiss me during sex, even dry ones). I lift her up and she puts her legs around my waist and we do that for a while till I throw her down on the bed. I do some dirty talking and then she starts some dirty talking. She says she wants me to fuck her and then lick her some more. At one point I'm pounding her good and she exclaims "I love it when you fuck me like a man!" (Ouch. This is rough but not quite as bad as it sounds as she was also exclaiming how big my cock is and so forth.) Tons of deep kissing, easily the most we've ever done during sex. More fun ensued and we both finished.

After we both jumped in the shower. She said, "what's that scratch on your shoulder?" I said, "you must have scratched me!" She said "no I didn't." I said, "well, it must have been my girlfriend then." She said "yeah" and changed into her PJs. A few months ago I would never have said something like that for fear of a rage explosion... which would have come. This time--a sh!t test passed!

This morning after my 5:30 workout I brought her a Starbucks (hat tip u/rian_stone, coffee is for closers ), and gave her lots of kino and positive affection during getting ready.

My take-away is that the weeks-long Arctic episodes are my own fault. She's been manufacturing her own feelz when I don't give them to her. I don't have all the answers yet, because if it weren't for a few techniques I picked up around here I wouldn't have made it all the way through. I need to get my frame to where I come up with these responses on my own. But, the important thing for me is I've realized that I can be the master of her feelz, and I need to lead her feelz to the right place. Amazing. Thanks MRP.

tl;dr. Realization that I need to lead my wife's feelz through teasing and creating fun drama led to resolution of weeks'-long anger and DBR and some great sex--and I never apologized.


[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR29 points30 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Someone just went through his first training program and learned kung fu.

Hey Mikey, I think he likes it.

[–]gettingmymojobackMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Passed his first belt test.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yellow belt now

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More like this

[–]alchamest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not as much as i like the truffle shuffle

[–]Reach180MRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Great FR. I love it.

Your reply to my post in OYS included this

I've already started and it is so natural and reminds me how I was way way back when I was single. Thanks.

I had that same a-ha at one point. It was like "I used to be like this....if THIS is what I'm supposed to do, this RP thing gonna be way easier than I'm making it"

I used to get so frustrated, because I'd tease my wife and 85% of the time she'd love it and play off it. Then that other 15% she'd get all hurt, or flip out and be angry. And I'd argue "I say stuff like this all the time and you laugh! What's your problem today?" leads to Fight leads to Silent Treatment leads to Supplicating.

You get tired of losing that interaction, so deductive reasoning leads to cutting out that part of your personality. Over the course of years, you end up cutting out everything that gives the feelz.

So the key, IMO, is being able to handle that 15% of the time where your wife can't take a joke. When you short circuit the petty fight by not engaging, and the silent treatment can't phase you, there's nothing to fear.

You enjoy the 85% of the time where she's fun, and the 15% of the time where she's not, she sees that her tantrum can't phase you. Becomes a positive feedback loop. You win either way.

[–]wildnight98 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes, this. I was thinking on the way in this morning about how I couldn't have accepted your advice at first because I was still too afraid of her anger. There's a kind of progression, maybe it's winding things in reverse. First step, you have to develop OI so you stop avoiding making her upset just to get laid. After that you have to learn to NGAF and STFU when she's mad so that her being mad doesn't make you fearful and anxious. But you can't stop there, because it's still dysfunctional. What you are talking about is the next step, where you learn to ... hmm... take some risks, or accept that you can control a lot of her emotional responses and now you have tools to deal with the times it doesn't work or backfires.

I don't know if any of that makes sense, it's just what's rolling around in my head this morning. But I feel like I'm understanding how it all works together so much better now.

[–]MAGAManARFARF2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you've touched on the two main things - fear of not getting sex, and fear of dealing with angry outbursts. If you can become "okay" with these, it seems to be the linchpin that enables you to hold your frame.

[–]capn_barnacles1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good discussion. I tend to get caught up in the thinking that if she's acting bitchy, I should just STFU and/or walk away (no reward shitty behavior). But I think I overdo that, and miss out on opportunities to hold frame and tease her/AM.

[–]wildnight98Well on his way1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try thinking about provoking her when she’s bitchy for your own entertainment.

[–]resolutions316!!CAUTION!! Runaway bus potentially ahead0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Coming back through this thread as I read through your OYS and this comment made aloooooot of sense.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As I said elsewhere. Never underestimate giving your girl a gift at her work place. It elevates her among her peers. Makes her queen. She gets to show off and be the center. This can be subtle or flamboyant, all depends on the girl. BUT it is feelz.

Now this can be done just as simply with skittles. NOW you've become "that guy". Rest assured there will be someone in her office that gets it (red pilled or not). Negative emotions like anger and irritation are not all bad. They are not the opposite of love. That would be apathy or indifference.

Never underestimate this. BUT above all you HAVE to HAVE frame.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to work at a large aerospace company with a tall building, lots of windows. This dude came to visit his girl for lunch in his beater "sports car", well, he couldn't get that shit started, she spent her lunch hour out in the hot sun watching him poke at shit under the hood, then eventually went back in and got snacks from the vending machine. He spent the next 2 hours fucking under the hood while half the company watched and LOLed. Eventually the tow truck came, adding to the entertainment.

Never saw that boyfriend come around again.

[–]MrTrizzles5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very perceptive. IDGAF is a blunt, serviceable tool but it's usually not the best one because it's not a leadership tool.

[–]dcapt46MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mmmmm Skittles!

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wayhey... good on you, son. Great to hear a good time story like this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

DNGAF-mode, activated!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Result. Well done. I got a lot from what you shared. Nice one

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Where has he been?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dwarves are gold-hungry, extremely proud and occasionally officious. Probably mining away.

[–]Chinchilla_the_HunMarried0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. Dude is busy builidng a beard oil empire and co-founding a manly facebook copycat.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait, looks like he deleted his reddit account.

[–]maxofreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Slow... clap...

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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