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This is more of a relationship building post- just a heads up. However, it can also be used for “spinning plates:”

The concept of dread is one of the most misunderstood concepts out there....

Alright, lately I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about the concept of dread. Usually, I see people talking about it like it’s an active action to elicit a response of dread in a woman (usually in a relationship). While this concept can occasionally be effective, it is kind of like a kid playing with dynamite.

The dread levels are very specific and set up to gradually increase your value as a man, and if you are in a relationship, it should be used passively. Now, I’m not talking passive aggressively, but passively. In other words, as you improve as a man, dread is a natural response that a woman will have in a relationship or your plates will experience dread.

Passive dread is healthy as long as it is balanced with doses of comfort. In other words, you don’t want dread to spiral out of control. Passive dread is essentially a buffer and insurance against women’s natural propensity towards Hypergamy. But, it’s much more than that.

So, in order to understand the concept of dread better, let’s look at the actual levels. These should be taken slowly - general rule of thumb is 1 level every month or 2:

Levels of dread

So, understand that going through the levels of dread will give women what they desire- a man that they believe has high sexual and social market value. But, it should also be understood that you are essentially becoming a man of high social and sexual value by going through the levels of dread.

Essentially, dread isn’t about the woman or women. It is about you, and becoming the best version of you. Now, if you are in a relationship or go into one, these can be a great side effect and balance the power in your favor. Let’s face it, every relationship has a power dynamic, and if a woman says “we are equal partners,” it probably means she holds the power in the relationship.

So, dread is a safeguard.

Dread is a tool.

Dread is power.

Dread satisfies women’s propensity towards hypergamy, but you are the prize.

Dread is much more....

Women need to feel it (but they will never admit it) because it reinforces that they made the right choice , you. Of course, this can be used if you are just spinning plates also.

Don’t think of dread as “ I stayed out late and took a shower when I got home right away” to make her think I’m fucking another woman. This is active dread, and it is used by weak men who are too lazy to go through the levels of dread .

So, REALLY become a man who they KNOW has choices and can fuck other women by going through the levels of dread. It’s similar to passive income because passive dread yields rewards without effort beyond the initial efforts. However, remember that the initial efforts should be thorough, increase your SMV, and make you the man you want to be, for you... not for a woman

There is no fake it til you make it.

You either are or you aren’t a high value man, and perception is based on your actions.

Be a high value man. Don’t put women on pedestals.

YOU are the prize.


[–]weakandsensitive16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Good post.

It's the same reason why women want to date players - because having a man with options choose said woman, means that said woman is special.

The more married you are, the more you and her forget you have options - the less you're choosing her, and the more you're de facto with her because you can't do any better.

You want the mindset where you're constantly choosing your wife - but not to the point of needy codependency and exhaustive smothering. Or choose not to choose your wife exclusively, whatever - women'll still date players.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Men crave to be respected. Women crave to be desired.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men crave to be respected by a women who desires them. Women crave to be desired by a man who they respect

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Truth. +1.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

+2

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like preselection but you make it sound like it works in reverse too...

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No. I'm talking about combating complacency and lethargy.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My view is for these first five levels of dread:

Dread Level 1: Learn to recognize and start passing Shit Tests. Begin building a strong, indefatigable frame where you are not affected by her sexual denials. Your readings will inform you about the basics of Pickup Artistry and seduction. Begin leading your wife more and begin seducing her. . Read the sidebar on The Red Pill, Married Man's Sex Life by Athol Kay, No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, When I say NO I feel Guilty, and the Book of Pook.

Dread Level 2: Develop an action plan to improve the major areas of your life. Develop the physical, spiritual, psychological, financial and personal areas of your life. Your journey begins at the gym where you need to lift heavy weights to exhaustion 3-4 times a week, working each muscle group at least 2 times a week. Read The Mindful Attraction Plan by Athol Kay.

Dread Level 3: Begin to build a life apart from your wife. Join a club. Take up a cause, discipline, or calling. Get busy. You are going places, with or without her. Read the Way of the Superior Male by David Dieda and the Art of Seduction by Robert Green.

Dread Level 4: Begin conditioning your availability to your wife with her treatment of you. Your are busy now. You don't have time for a sexually disinterested, annoying, or angry wife. Take up another cause if you need to. This is a great time to join a martial arts club. Read The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves by Ian Ironwood. For more on this topic and how to implement this level see: The Husband's Dilemma.

Dread Level 5: Upgrade your clothes and start dressing ‘up’ more of the time. Top off your solid, masculine, strong, indefatigable frame. You should be acting like the Captain of your Ship and leading your relationship. You should be actively using Kino and seducing your wife. Read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomossi.

These are all things that we should be doing normally. Here we slap the dread label on them because it's part of a 12 step process or whathaveyou, but really, this should be 101 material.

Many men have forgotten this.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good break down. The first 5 are vital

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

From my theoretical understanding I agree with your break down but as a thought exercise what if you take the wife/SO out of the equation? From my point of view doing so doesn't actually change the strategic objective of every step. Since MRP is about fixing the man, not the marriage, for alot of men it would be in their best interest to remove their SO from the equation from the very beginning.

For instance, instead of step 1 being about passing shit tests (symptom) it would be about correcting a scared/uninformed/undeveloped/scarcity mentality (disease). When your not a scared little boy, informed, have a developed mindset, and see abundance in your life, a natural byproduct would be finding amusement/not being affected by insignificant drama (shittest) and thus not getting sucked into it (aka passing the test).

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Think about it this way.

If you were single and no responsibilities, wouldn't you be doing these things? Shouldn't you be doing these on your own?

Build your own frame, your reality. Know about pickup and seduction. Develop a action plan for your life - physical, spiritual, psychological, financial, and personal. Go to the gym. Build your life. Take up a cause. Be busy. Dress up. Be a leader.

The same stuff that you were doing when you were single is the same stuff that you wife initially found attractive in you.

On top of it, the levels of dread help break beta codependent behaviors as well.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hitting the nail in the head. Hitting on a cashier in front of your wife is seen as weak. The most powerful form of dread is when she notices a hotter woman checking you out and you not even noticing. The best is when she starts mate guarding and you didn’t do anything. That’s how you know you won the dread game.

A further aside and warning. Service industry people are never hitting on you and your wife has no dread from the waitress.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Service industry people are never hitting on you

Eh, except when they are. It's rare, and it has happened to me.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, my wife has been mate guarding big time lately... also, she showed one of my pics to her coworkers and told them she needs to “get to work.” Her coworkers couldn’t believe I’m going to be 50 this year, inducing further dread since I could pass for later 30’s.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

it's a good post in particular from a point of origin perspective.

because it reinforces that they made the right choice , you

and she's special because you're choosing her. this is the yang to the yin or actual "dread" of MRP. the gut fear of loss. you can master the first 5-6 levels (passive dread) to the highest order but if you still believe "i would never leave my wife" for reasons; their will be no dread.

Don’t think of dread as “ I stayed out late and took a shower when I got home right away”

unless you were actually out fucking another woman; in which case it's the action of a man exercising his options.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

and she's special because you're choosing her. this is the yang to the yin or actual "dread" of MRP. the gut fear of loss.

Some women may never fear losing you. Right to the point they do lose you and then they never actually wanted you in the first place.

you can master the first 5-6 levels (passive dread) to the highest order but if you still believe "i would never leave my wife" for reasons; their will be no dread.

I think cause I've accepted my wife will never fuck me to the extent I want and the only way I'll get it is from someone else, while also having strong beliefs of keeping it together for the kids, makes my dread non existent. She knows I feel this way about raising our kids. She has even said herself "if I cheat on her, she won't leave but just make my life hell".

My son struggles with disabilities and I simply can't fathom him dealing with a parental separation. Maybe this is beta, but really IDGAF.

I'm in the process of finding a sidegirl. This is easier said than done in a small town by a dude who has zero experience picking up women. Still, I will succeed here.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

some women people are just stupid. they can't be helped.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

She knows I feel this way about raising our kids. She has even said herself "if I cheat on her, she won't leave but just make my life hell".

Interesting. Sounds like she may tolerate it as divorcing doesn’t sound like a good option to her either.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Time will tell.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been meaning to suggest for a while that each red beret tackles a key concept from their own perspective... Let's be honest it would be where the most linked posts in the past come from.

I'll let you red french hat wearing chaps sort that out, if you can be bothered. Think u/redpillschool s efforts in January.

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I always thought the 'levels of dread' we're poorly named because it implied you were trying to control the actions and behaviors of someone else. I always thought this was the underlying issue that causes confusion. I don't actually have a better suggestion, just an observation.

Dread has nothing to do with a man's SO. I always pictured it as a step by step guide for a man of zero worth to ultimately become a man men admire. Every step builds upon the last. If men who need it saw it as only for them (like the entire sidebar actually) and has nothing to do with their SO then I bet there'd be alot less misunderstandings here.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I always pictured it as a step by step guide for a man of zero worth to ultimately become a man men admire.

a man can produce a lot of value for both himself; his wife, and society in general and be highly admired by other men and still be a sexless beta chump. the recent post in AskMRP of Achilles with a fatass wife being a top level example.

it's called "dread" because the goal is to induce a subconscious (ideally, but if it has to be conscious so be it) fear of loss of a valuable man. the paradox is you have to be your own point of origin for "dread" to work; and thus as you say you have to to it for you.

it's more than a self improvement program. don't be afraid to control the actions and behaviors of someone else. tl/dr: never lose sight of rule zero

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I admit that I am not necessarily a good resource when it comes to dread. I have always had a happy marriage and I had my shit together since before meeting my wife. This place has helped me focus on fine tuning things to maximize our happiness and things outside of sex and marriage, even if the red pill is sexual strategy. Dread is not my wheel house and I freely admit it.

Im sure I'm not properly articulating my thoughts and my choice of words were overly simplified but the one thing I notice over and over is that any new posters that bring up dread seem to be doing it solely to fix their wives but the steps are actually a brilliant roadmap on how to get your shit together, irregardless of the condition of a marriage.

Ultimately my thought was if you don't have your shit together, following the steps of dread, in the manner they are layed out and giving adequate time for each, will improve your life, irregardless of whether it improves your marriage. I am under the belief we are actually in agreement and since I am only theorizing my way of understanding is limiting. In saying they're poorly named, I was trying to say they can carry much more weight than just making your wife not want to leave you.

The example you brought up is the example that made me chime in my two cents. He just continued to make requests of his wife, thinking that she should just instinctively dread losing him because he is objectively valuable(money and physique) but my takeaway was all he did was make requests for what he wanted and didn't have the mindset needed (step 1?) to actually lead her. He got hung up on the nomenclature of dread and not the real reason behind it. His post came off like a child throwing a tantrum because he broke his toy and thought the toy should fix itself.

He didn't have any mindset to lead her or his family. My response to him was he sounded boring, because he is. His focus was just continually just requesting what he wanted. I doubt he's gamed his wife in years. If he wants her in shape, why isn't he working out with her, why isn't he planning fun activities that challenges the whole family to be active? Those are obviously things only he knows if he's doing.

This response ended up being long and rambly but since I took the time to write it out I'm still gonna post it. Regardless, hope you gents all have a good weekend.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

you're not incorrect:

  • be a man of value,

  • start removing the value from her because your a man with better options

removing non-value means nothing. in fact, she'll be glad your not around. if you're a man that is willing to put up with a sexless marriage for 2 years for ANY reason; don't be surprised when she walk all over you.

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah.

2 years, no sex. Fuck. That. Shit!

Life is way too fleeting not to be having fun on a daily basis, and having fun is a mindset. Always comes back to frame.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

at first i did not understand when Rollo said

frame is everything

i thought, how can it be everything? everything? really?

yes, it's everything

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

It even goes beyond the serious issues dealt with here.

I have this philosophy, and it's not mine but I don't know where I stole it from, when applied to insignificant bullshit of life that illustrates just how powerful frame of mind can work and whenever I share it with people it's always like a light bulb goes off in their head:

Imagine you're on the highway and some asshole comes speeding by and cuts you off and almost causes you to wreck in a high-speed accident that would be deadly. For most people this would piss them off and potentially ruin their day.

Now imagine that exact same scenario but you know the driver is on the verge of shitting herself/is shitting herself and she's on her way to the first date for "the man of her dreams". Pretty fucking hysterical if you ask me.

Exact same situation with the exact same knowns and unknowns. Completely different responses. All due to frame.

Now when ever some one drives like an ass around my wife and I all we do is laugh cause we 'know' they're about to shit their pants.

Always comes back to frame.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

road rage use to be one of my no frame displays with wife.

it was not pretty; especially since her old man is like a stoic god.

that's all gone. even year's later now she is still amazed (and/or shit test me about the old me) when i don't react or react with a light hearted joke

hahaha i know people that have actually shit there pants on the way to work in the car. i'll use that

[–]2gunsgetsomeMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

i know people that have actually shit there pants on the way to work in the car

Not me, but this, uh… guy I know… keeps a spare set of clothes, including underwear at the office. For a completely unrelated reason.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

unlike WAS your memory is intact. lol. yes i do btw. full set of clothes for that reason . . . along with the more common being soaked in sweat after crawling through a tank in Nomex and an acid suit.

the same (now retired) dude that shit himself on the way to work hit a deer on the way to work. it slid up the hood just right to hit the windshield and eject the deer entrails through a hole in the windshield all over him.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I stayed out late and took a shower when I got home right away” to make her think I’m fucking another woman

Exactly. Dread isn't the goal. Dread is just a complimentary result of the goal (looking better, dressing better, fucking other women).

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with everything you said, sans this one line:

There is no fake it til you make it.

Which contradicts with this line:

You either are or you aren’t a high value man, and perception is based on your actions.

Regardless, have my up-vote.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I actually worded that very carefully, but I can see how it might appear to contradict at a glance.

What I was saying in the second line is taking the actions of dread creates perception, but what I was implying is the perception is reality (vs. faking it). So, essentially perception and reality are a match.. thus there’s no need to fake anything.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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