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My youngest son is a high school junior. He was recently assigned to have a parent write him a letter of advice, similar to the advice Polonius gave Hamlet. Here's what I wrote him. Comments welcome.

Dear son,

Your grandfather taught me a great deal during his life, both by precept and by example. I've always tried to do the same with you and your brothers. The idea that I'm supposed to write down all my distilled life experience and advice in a single letter is pretty daunting. What if I leave something important out, like "always brush your teeth?" I'll do my best to stick to the most important things in this letter but it may get kind of long.

As you know, I have had the good fortune to travel the world, work in a fascinating career, serve our country in the military, and meet fascinating people from all over. Here's what I think you need to know.

"Brush your teeth and pay your mortgage early." This was one of your grandfather's favorite pieces of advice. When he was a little younger than I am now, he had all sorts of dental problems (including bad gum disease that led to him having several teeth pulled). Don't be that guy. More generally, two things: take care of your body and be very, very wary of debt. Lift heavy weights to strengthen your body; find an endurance sport you enjoy to complement that. And seriously… brush your damn teeth.

Find your mission. Throughout your life you will often wonder why you're here or what the point of your life is. That's something only you can answer. My mission is to be the best man I can be and to live the best life I can. That would still be true if I had a different career or different life circumstances. "Best" means trying to live up to the standards I set for myself, some of which are outlined here. Your mission shouldn't be just "make money" or "get women." Focus your mission on who you are (or aspire to be), not what you do. No one but you can determine what your mission is or whether you're accomplishing it.

Always add value. In every personal or professional relationship, you should always be able to identify what you're bringing to the party. Be the kind of man who has something useful to contribute in every endeavor: your knowledge and skill, your physical strength and endurance, your stability and reliability, your sense of humor, your work ethic, your love… the list goes on. It's OK to feel like you don't have much value to add, or that you don't have all these things right now-that's a sign that you need to work on developing them, which we all need to do. Find or enhance your skills, talents, and capabilities so that you can add value. Other humans, whether employers, friends, or potential lovers, will always seek the highest value they can find.

Always expect value. Over time you will learn to identify what value others bring to your life. Watch carefully what others add to your personal, family, and work relationships. If they are not providing the value you need, know when it is time to move on. Your friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and lovers over the years will each show you through their actions what they can and will do to enliven or improve your life. Ever have a friend who always took attention, time, and energy but never gave any back? Avoid that type of person. This is not a "what's in it for me?" piece of advice, more a recognition that anything which does not push your life upwards will drag it downwards.

Never stop learning and growing. You and your brothers like to make fun of the fact that I didn't start liking avocado or sushi until my 40s, or that I didn't run my first triathlon until age 45. But that's objective proof that you can always try new things, learn new things, and grow as a man. As you grow you will find new opportunities, new interests, new people, and new value to enrich your life. When I was your age I had no idea who I would be in 2018. In just my 40s alone, I have drastically improved my physical fitness and health, made amazing new friends, found hobbies I never would have thought I'd enjoy, traveled to exotic places, and had remarkable experiences with my sons. Never stop. You can't achieve your mission if you don't know anything.

Work hard and earn your leisure. If there's work to be done, do it. You're really good about not procrastinating your schoolwork. I hope you never lose that trait. The world is full of people who are content to sit on their asses playing Xbox or reading crap on the Internet, then complain that they have a crappy job, no worthwhile relationships, and no meaningful purpose in life. You may even know some of these people. Don't be one. Playtime is awesome once you have put in the work-and that includes exercise and self-improvement, not just the literal work you do at school or at a job. Your ability to accomplish your mission is directly tied to whether you do the important stuff first or turn into a Dorito-eating couch-locked neckbeard.

Seek the best. You wouldn't try to fuel an airplane with dirt and rocks. Don't fuel your mind with crap. There's nothing wrong with enjoying good entertainment but don't waste your time with stuff you know (or suspect) is low-quality. Stay away from crap on the Internet. Read the classics. There's a reason why people are still reading Epictetus, Seneca, Shakespear, Dickens, and Carnegie hundreds or thousands of years after their deaths. Read non-fiction books on topics that interest you regularly. See what you can learn from the experiences, knowledge, and lives of others. Someone who passively consumes entertainment can't add any value to his own life or anyone else's.

React to what people do, not what they say. The world is full of people who will say one thing and do another. Want to know if someone is truly your friend, or really loves you, or actually has your best interests at heart? Ignore what they say and watch how they treat you and how they behave. Watch how people treat others who are less powerful than they are-a waiter, a clerk, a subordinate at work, a child.

Be your own man. The world is full of people who will tell you how to live your life. There is nothing wrong with listening to their advice, then evaluating whether that advice is good for you or not. You are ultimately the man who has to look at himself in the mirror each day and judge yourself. There are plenty of other people who will judge you. But you know what 311 said: "fuck the naysayers." Also, they only entered in one contest that they made up themselves, you feel me?

Do what is right, and stand up for what is right. At any given moment, you will almost always know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes you have to figure out the least-wrong choice from a series of bad alternatives, but usually not-it will usually be pretty obvious. Never tolerate or accept bullying of yourself or others. When you see a wrong being done, correct it. That doesn't mean arguing with people on the Internet, by the way, or defending people who have acted badly and are now facing the consequences of their bad actions.

This seems like a lot of advice, and it is. I encourage you to go back and look at Ben Franklin's system for journaling, where he identified a single aspect of his mission to work on each day, each week, and each month, and then tracked his progress. (In fact, I strongly advise you to read his Autobiography on general principles.) You don't have to-and probably can't-implement all this advice at once. Pick one piece of advice to implement at a time and then focus on it. Just like your lifts are progressing in Stronglifts, or like you get more fit on the bike, the more of these things you do, the more you'll be able to do.

I love you with all my heart and look forward to seeing you grow into manhood and excellence. I'm always here for you.


[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

only one thing i WOULD change.

"react" - I would change to word to "respond" and explain the difference.

[–]losingmymind70[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a really good point-- thanks. I'll talk through this with him when he gets home tonight.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's very PC for an RP writeup. Well played.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have 2 son's of my own, that was a fantastic read. Thanks for sharing that.

[–]eofree2be5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great work. My brother has been in the Army for 20 years and your letter reminds me a lot of him. I have been working on an evolving presentation for my son that will be my play book looking back. I hope it can serve as a reference. His mission is his alone. But my main lesson will be take care of your body and spirit, study philosophy but be professionally skeptical and avoid thinking that one paradigm is completely incompatible with another, and that I love him. He will be five soon and I’m grateful to be cognizant of my responsibility to him. A meme I saw awhile back and is my motivation when lifting is “I lift to be the man I wanted my father to be.” You feel me?

[–]470_2_700_nm7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did not write this. I copied and pasted this into my email so I could find it when my sons are ready. It’s from a post like the one put up by OP:

——————— Son, As you are coming of age, your desire to be loved by a woman is growing. To feel the daily warmth of a woman by your side. To have and to hold. This is a natural instinct and one of the strongest ones you have. With that said, it's my responsibility to make sure you enter these interactions with a knowledge that I and very few other men have had the benefit of knowing beforehand.

I love your mother. You love your mother. Your mother loves us both, but not in the same way. You see, she loves me for the life I provide her with. My humour, my handyman capabilities, my sacrifice at work and my emotional support. She loves you as the most important thing in her life that she would do anything for.

This is very important for you to understand, because when you find a girl you want to commit to, you can't expect her to love you like mom does. In fact, if you try to make her love you like that, not only will she resent you for your weakness, she will be repulsed it.

This may seem a little harsh, but it's a reality you must accept if you want to get the most out of a relationship. That same unconditional love that you want from your girl, will be reserved for the offspring that you provide her with.

The irony to this son, is that the love you feel from mom and the love your woman will give to her children, is the same love you will need to give to your woman. She will want a leader. A strong and confident man who makes her feel safe and secure.

Furthermore, she will hate the fact that you still want that love from mom. So you will also need to cut the emotional support you get from her off as well. You need only look at the people in our lives who are mama's boys. They all live in very miserable relationships. This is because men don't need their moms love. They have already gotten all they needed in their youth. I had to find this out the hard way myself.

If you absolutely need to express some of your feelings, do it with your best friends, your brother or especially me. Never with your girl, your mom, your sister or any other female in your life. They can't tell you how to be a man. From this point on, you have joined the fraternity of masculinity.

This may sound like lonely road to travel. That's because it will be. We no longer need that emotional support. Men embrace the loneliness. We learn to accept it and thrive in it. This is where you will learn who you truly are and what you truly want out of life. It's when you realize that you don't need anyones approval to be who you want to be. This is essentially where you become a man. Believe me when I say it son, being a man who lives his life like a man, will be the best decision you ever make.

I love you son

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Great letter. I would have been extremely happy to get a letter like that from my Dad and really proud of him.

But you should also remind him to read up on hypergamous, branch swingers, how to turn his woman into a slut and how to fuck away all the Chads that were in there before him. :)

[–]losingmymind70[S] 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Since there is a non-zero chance he will be asked to share some content from the letter, I figured I'd save that for volume II.

[–]stonewall19791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say that was a good choice. You kept the message simple and age appropriate. Using RP terms in a presumably liberal high school classroom isn't going to end well. The message through the examples was RP and well written.

Your son is lucky to have you and will appreciate this letter for a long time.

Good luck on your journey.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

This is either a wise decision or a bad case of a missed chance to spread the MRP message to the world.

[–]losingmymind70[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus said "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." I figure the message will have more impact when privately delivered directly to him, not to his entire English class.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

missed chance to spread the MRP message to the world

not sure if your being flippant or you're actually this ignorant. do not USE your kids as a mouthpiece, or tools for your own aggrandizement, or live vicariously through them (this last one is not easy).

my opinion is to be cautious on redpilling your son anytime before college; and even better before graduating college. it's a bitter pill; and other than through you as an example it is better he learn many of these lessons on his own the hard way. i came by misogyny race realism by experience not by teaching. i've limited my RP/women teaching to the following concepts:

  • you control birth control

  • put your mission and your bros over the hos; don't even consider marriage until you're out of college

  • there are plenty of fish in the sea

  • treat girls like your sister. don't put them on a pedestal

  • girls want it as much as you do. fortune favors the bold and lead

i'm not sure he really needs any of my advice. as much a natural as any i've ever seen (trying not to live vicariously)

[edit] OP's letter is a masterpiece. i would only differ on

Do what is right, and stand up for what is right

my council has always been more towards the Machiavellian bent because anything else would hypocritical on my part.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I was being flippant. The danger of the "posted" word - not always easy to see if someone is being serious or not.

I agree with you on the letter being a masterpiece - I've saved it for future reference.

One of the greatest takeaways I will get from MRP - and all the associated books, blogs and indeed posts I've read from many posters here - is a real sense of positive masculinity. It's something I've never really experienced before, delved into or even really thought about.

Like a lot of guys, I think if you don't have a strong father figure teaching you these things, it can very easily pass you by.

My son is 3 now and I'm so glad that he's that age because when he's old enough to learn these things, I believe that I'll have the wisdom to pass on - at least some - of what I've learned over the past few months.

[–]straius 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You can't red knight people for the same reasons you can't white knight an alcoholic into a sober man or a damaged slut into mother theresa.

You can only lead by example.

[–]SBIIISAHDs are the epitome of sex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally agree - I was kidding. Don't think a Red Pill sermon via a letter would go down too well in a Junior High classroom. Would make a great scene in a comedy movie though.

I did try and white knight the aging alcoholic on the forum yesterday though. Only coz I felt for him - I've been there and it's a shitty place to be. I was hoping my advice would be of some help, but I'd say he's probably drowning his sorrows as we speak.

That's what I would have done at the time. You have to wake up to these things yourself in order to make an actual change in your life.

[–]Loudandboisterous123 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

This is great, well done sir. It's a shame that it took a school assignment to make this happen but I highly doubt many, if any, kids in your son's class will receive such a thoughtful and lengthy piece of literature.

[–]losingmymind70[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The first time I got a letter from my dad was when I was deployed for Desert Storm. He wasn't a letter writer and I guess I'm not either.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a good exercise.

Not just from a what you will be for your child angle, but also to define where he needs to develop and explore his own person.

[–]PepelePeaux1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks for the letter, I'll take your advice myself. Good shit. Cheers

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

It’s nice that you care about your son and I assume you already have a good relationship with him. I am a parent as well and I struggle a little with exactly what, how much and when to reveal to my children. What you have written is generally solid. What would you change if you were writing to a daughter?

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

The only thing I'd add for my daughter would be to stress "actions and consequences".

The things about value, mission, and being your own judge all resonate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but I didn’t ask you, I asked him

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

This advice is completely shit and not thought out at all. If you have daughters then they should ask someone else for advice. What, you are going to write a letter to your daughters including tips on lifting, not playing xbox, not worrying about getting women or making money? You are going to give them advice which is the same as a man? WTF, are you a SJW? Are men and women the same? Sounds like a gender equality argument to me. Seriously how can you participate in a red pill sub if you think advice for males and females should be the same? I guess we should have quotas which require men and women are 50/50 for all occupations. Treating girls like they are boys is a slippery slope to third wave feminism.

[–]weakandsensitive5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What, you are going to write a letter to your daughters including tips on lifting, not playing xbox, not worrying about getting women or making money? You are going to give them advice which is the same as a man?

Yes. Welcome to the modern world.

And on top of that, I would stress that they have the capacity to make any choice that they choose - and that they should carefully consider the consequences of their potential actions.

Seriously how can you participate in a red pill sub if you think advice for males and females should be the same? I guess we should have quotas which require men and women are 50/50 for all occupations. Treating girls like they are boys is a slippery slope to third wave feminism.

Keep saying things that make you look like a moron.

But since you are a moron and don't get it, the advice given, the context of this advice, is very, very generic and broadly applicable.

Like I said,

The things about value, mission, and being your own judge all resonate.

If you don't think these things apply just as much to women as men, I don't know what to tell you other than your daughter is going to be totally fucked up.

Aren't you also the one that keeps your women locked in the house because they might fall on Chad's dick if they go out?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hook, line and sinker

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes. Welcome to the modern world.

+1 for truth, i think a lot of older guys don't really have a feel for kidz these days.

fuck, i'm old but i'm not blind.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. I think that level of independence is a good thing. The thing where the modern world has absolutely failed women is to stress that actions do have consequences.

For example, if you're gonna a be fucking slut in your 20s, don't be surprised when you end up alone and unwanted in your 30s.

If you're going to pursue a degree you LOVE, don't be surprised when you're broke as fuck struggling to make it.

That's what I want to stress to my daughter - she's free to make any decision that she wants, but she's shouldn't be blind to the potential consequences of making those decisions.

[–]losingmymind70[S] 3 points4 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

That's an excellent question. I have 3 sons, and none of my siblings or cousins has any girls, so girl children are a little bit like exotic wildlife to me: I have a Discovery Channel-level knowledge but not the deep experience that comes from living with and raising boys.

I think I'd keep "brush your teeth," "always add value," "always expect value," "never stop learning," "earn your leisure," "watch what people do," and "be your own man" pretty much as is, with appropriate changes for gender. The examples of how you add value are right on.

"Seek the best" would need some changes to emphasize what I'd want her to look for in a man.

I'd probably add something along the lines of "with great pussy power comes great responsibility," and a section on "you don't owe the world anything" emphasizing that no man or boy is owed a kiss, a date, or a fuck because of anything he does.

Maybe this would be a better question to ask the men here who actually do have daughters, or even in /r/mrpw.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

I asked because I have struggled with this concept. TBH I am really not sure what to tell girls. I am thinking that it is important to tell them not to listen to the brainwashing offered by society. Let them know that it is OK to be feminine, it is OK to dream about babies and children. That it is important to consider reality and biology when planning your life. To know that men will happily use them just for sex so only give this out if you really want to. To avoid racking up a high n-count as it reduces her chances of having a broken home for her children. To choose a partner very carefully as that decision will have lifelong implications for her and her children. That society does not place enough value on the role of being a mother and that is the most important job in the world. Tell her that society wants her to be the same as a man while expecting her to look beautiful, raise children and take care of a man. Tell her that most people are more than happy to take advantage of her and use her for their own desires. Tell her that daddy will always be there for her and that anyone who crosses her will face a terrible and unrelenting wrath. Tell her that she can tell me anything and I will always have her back.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Single best rp and women friendly advice is that a smart feminine woman is better than a smart woman trying to compete with men by being masculine.

I am referring to work btw.

Yin and yang.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

My exact age shall remain a secret. You really are a fag aren’t you? Rather a rageaholic, underachieving refugee from the PUA movement. Maybe you should see therapist? I am sure your family would be grateful.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I love it. You post how you don't care if I'm going to post your PMs, and then, as you're totally not upset by it, you go to modmail.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You have had enough attention for one day. I suspect your mum used to staple a pork chop to your ear just so the dog would play with you.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

good attempt at negging

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

After reading this tripe of cliche filled paranoi, I have to ask..., since you're clearly divorced, do you even see your daughters?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

You don’t remember much do you, I kept the house and the kids.

[–]weakandsensitive-2 points-1 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I don't remember much. Don't care too much about personal stories.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

The issue is deeper than your poor memory, it is that you are lazy. You would rather beat the shit out of a straw man than actually get in the ring.

[–]weakandsensitive-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Uh.. if that's what you want to think to feel better about the fact that I don't remember details, feel free to you special snowflake you. I'm absolutely lazy about this - because you are absolutely a straw man cliche.

Should I post the picture where you PM'ed me about truces again?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

  • “I swear I can’t remember”

...pretty much the default statement of every paedophile who finds himself in a witness box. Ask any lawyer, we see that pathetic attempt to avoid responsibility for one’s actions every day. Perhaps you should change your username again, You already have the first four letters right, just delete “andsensitive” and insert “sauce”.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why do you think I'd remember details about your story? Help me out here. Did you suck my dick one time and I didn't call you back or something?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is good shit.

[–]HLM340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow that's amazing, thanks for sharing. 😊

[–]MisfitPL90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wrote a letter similar to this to my daughter on her 18th. I did highlight to her that " Trust your gut instinct " was very important.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My kids have a letter for every year of their life for when I am gone. Didn’t take the life lessons approach. Just wrote out everything I was there for and how proud I was for their accomplishments. Other dads should do the same. Moreover a lot of this can be accomplished simply by showing and not writing. Want the boys in the gym? Take them to the gym.

I would ditch the whole do what is right nonsense. Do what benefits you. We learn this in nmmng and trump. The only right thing is what you decide. Sticking up for others rarely ever benefits you. Violates the laws of power. Puts you ina vulnerable position. There are too many things wrong with that part of the letter.

Also. The whole ignore what people say is bullshit. Reputation and respect are everything for a man in life. Ok if someone doesn’t like that color on you w/e. Never tolerate someone actively working against you. Remember the stinky kid from school that everyone teased? Yeah he grew up to be a serial killer. Put up. Shut up. Show up. Let people chase you.

In part. You obviously didn’t read the side bar and this post would have been removed if it didn’t have so much good advice in the comments.

Also the whole will and ws comment chain is cracking me up

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, rubber match coming soon to a sub near you

[–]VickVaseline-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think guys are still going to be reading this hundreds or thousands of years after your death.

[–]2ndal2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I liked the letter too, but I doubt it.

[–]losingmymind70[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Allusion to something I said in the letter. (Side note: wish I had 10% of Dale Carnegie's swagger.)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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