As you may know from askMRP post (which was clearly a troll post for folks who don’t realize it) my wife and I celebrated our 13 year anniversary on the 12th. Last night I arranged to take the kids to “kids night out” at the gymnastics place here in town, so we had a free evening from 6-10pm Sat night!

Wife and I got dolled up and went up the street to the local sports bar that has a band, and overall good scenery. It is a 35-50 year old type place, so it is good for us. We get there at 6:05pm on the nose and post up at the bar and order some shrimp apps and drinks, and start the evening.

Before we went out, I had told my wife about a social experiment I was going to try in which I will call the styrofoam cup (SC for short.) I had read about the SC in another post, and the gist of the post was that a guy got his drink in a SC for the sole purpose of a conversation topic, and to gauge female reactions.

After we had a few drinks and enjoyed our apps, the bar started to fill up with other old people like us around 7:00pm, so I knew that I had 3 hours for my test. By this time several groups of guys had shown up, as well as women in their typical GNO attire.

The plan was simple, in our typical fashion we would make some bar friends and see what happens with the ladies in their GNO groups. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

Being an old guy, it only takes an hour or so for me and then the seal gets broken. So off to the mens room I go. When I come back there are two guys that have moved in on her, which is very typical for us. I come back and make my presence known (both are out of shape, typical 40 year-old dudes), and pick up my SC cup. Bro #1 sees me take a drink from my SC immediately asks why I am drinking from a SC? I tell him I am clumsy and like having a lid on my drink, but it is more the facial expression I gave that did the communication. They both respond with an awkward laugh and smile, and kind of look at each other.

Before anything else happens, the same Bro has waved over the bartender, and orders himself and his Bro a drink, but for some reason orders my wife and I a drink as well. When the drinks come, the bartender (whom we have socialized with in the past) puts all 4 drinks down and tells me that the Bro ordered our drinks and they are on him. I look at him to say thanks, and he tells me that he did it because I should drink out of a glass properly, and not out of a SC cup. I smile, shake his hand and tell him thank you for the round. Minutes later I pour the drink into my SC cup and keep on going with our night.

I was very surprised at this point by the reaction from this man. I have no idea what his logic was, if he was trying to AMOG me, or what? Why did he buy my wife and I a drink after literally less than 5 minutes of interaction? I saw the bartender hand the drinks to us, so I know they are clean. I have tossed drinks away people have given me, because of obvious reasons, but straight from the bartender, meh.

So here we are, about 7:30 or so and already have a beta Billy buying our drinks, so now I decide to add on another layer of the game. The SC is clearly working in some fashion, but not how I expect thus far. We post up and watch a table of 3 women (late 30’s early 40’s 5&6’s) get approached by other people, and promptly pushed away.

Every single one of the men approached in the same fashion – from the back angle. Imagine a round tall top bar table big enough for 5, and 3 women on one side somewhat sandwiched together to watch the band that will be starting up around 9:00. Which direction do you approach from? The fucking front. They need to see you coming. Listen boys, when you approach anyone from the corner of their eye, or backward direction they immediately are in a point of discomfort. Approach head on, so they have time to see you, size you up and realize you are not going to steal their purse. Don’t be a fucking insecure creeper.

It was time for me to make my move. The plan was simple, approach use the SC for conversation and then after a few minutes call the wife over and make it a party. I was not out to pick anyone up, and parties are always more fun with more people. We both love meeting random people out. It is a spice of life for us.

I approach with my SC, and I will spare you the details but I was sitting at their table within 60 seconds and the wife was over after that. The SC was a hit. Every single one of the women could not believe I was drinking out of a SC with a lid and a straw. They wanted to see the drink, they wanted to smell it and see if there was alcohol in there. It was ridiculous. When one of the women asked me why I do it, I told her that back in my youth I would use it as a piece of paper, and give it to women so they can write their phone numbers on it. One of the women took it and drew a pair of tits on it with a smiley face. By the end of the night, my SC was covered in graffiti, and a couple phone numbers.

After chilling for a bit, I notice that Bro #1 and #2 are still posted up at the bar, so I came up with an idea. I told the women we had met about our interaction with those men and how after less than 5 minutes they bought my wife and I drinks. I wanted to see it happen again, so I made a proposal/bet to the women.

I told them that I was going to invite them over to our table, and there was a very high likelihood that they would buy all 5 of us drinks. At first one of the women (the hottest) was very against it, but I reminded her how fun it is to get other people to buy drinks for us, and then her other two friends jumped on her, and said that they will “shoe” them away if they don’t buy a round within a few mins of coming over.

Well men, you can image what happens next. I signal Bro #1 over, and he just about runs across the bar floor. When he gets there he immediately tries to bust my balls about the SC, but he just had no skill set at all. I showed him my SC with the tits drawing on it as well as a few numbers, and I saw the “you’re not clumsy you’re an evil genius” look on his face appear.

Anyway, as you can image I was correct and they did get all of us another round of drinks. This mentality never stops surprising me. How guys think that by buying drinks for random women, (and men) that this will get them in. I know that my tab for 2 shrimp apps, and drinks (I paid for) was $80 which, in Dallas, drinking Grey Goose means that these two guys probably paid well over $50-$75 in drinks for my wife and I over a 2-hour time span. I know I had a couple on them, as well as my wife and they were buying the other 3 women their drinks, and there was ZERO, and I mean ZERO interest from them towards those men, other than being an ATM and providing free drinks. I never paid for another drink for my wife or I the rest of the night.

We left at 9:45pm on the dot, because we had the kids to get, so I will say that my social experiment was a blazing success. I had at least a dozen women ask me about the drink, and one very insure man try to tell me the proper way to drink. If he only knew, and if he only had the frame to even do something like this, he wouldn’t have spent hundreds of dollars buying random people drinks. They sure were not fucking me, or my wife that night, and neither one of them was doing a very good job with the other 3 women, that I introduced them to.

I honestly have no idea what their reasoning was. Maybe he was just trying to get them drunk enough, and go about it that way…

So, newbs hopefully you learn something.

1. Don’t buy people drinks.
2. Approach head on so they can see you coming. Esp. if you are HAWT.
3. Don’t be afraid to try shit.
4. Don’t buy people drinks.
5. Be HAWT, and smile when you talk to people.
6. Hi – is the perfect approach. It works for me 99% of the time. No one line bullshit.