Reposting from OWS
It's been a while since I posted any updates, so here's a bit of background for those who don't know or remember me.
When I started my journey on 2/1/16, I weighed 340 pounds. I didn't have a DBR, but after over 20 years of marriage, we were both headed there. I hadn't lifted since high school, so I ordered a squat rack and free weights, and before they arrived, I started just doing deep knee bends and walking for 30 minutes in the mornings. Typical dress was T-shirts and baggy jeans, and I was a classic nice guy / drunk captain, who was afraid of his wife's emotions.
Physical
I'm now 47yo, 6'4", and weigh 270 pounds (up from 255 after of bulking). I do look a lot better, and though I could go lower, I prefer having a bit of dad-bod over looking like a deflated balloon. I still have loose skin on my face and chin, but my beard covers it pretty well, and my upper body gains have helped give me a better, more masculine shape.
My goal was to hit the 1000 pound club this August, after 18months of lifting. The first week of August, I was about 980 pounds calc-1rpm, but during a session of heavy squats, I pushed through a slight twinge, and hurt my back. A week of light exercise, I hurt it again and couldn't even move -- my wife had to bring my to the ER. I spent the rest of the month recovering.
After my recovery, I switched from my volume focused PPL-DUP to a GZCL program that would let me run fewer but heavier sets and test my 1rpms. In conjunction with an egg timer to enforce my breaks, I was able to shorten my gym time to about an hour/day. I supplemented with high-rep, low-weight (60%) sets. Last week, I hit 235 bench / 355 squat / 415 deadlift for 1 rep each = 1005 pounds. Achievement unlocked.
But I also hurt my knee during deadlifts that Sunday (bar regularly hits top of my knee cap), and exacerbated it by running and squatting heavy later in the week. Anti-inflammatories and rest helped, but after three days it got worse again, and now I'm taking a week off from lower body work and running to focus on my upper body while I recover from the injury. Update: after a few days of down time, I'm ready to get back to the treadmill.
It was nice to hit my goal, but 1rpm lifts are solely for the ego, and I know I don't need to prove anything to anyone. At my age, I have to pay more attention to my body's warning signs. As such, I'm going back to my PPL program (5x5 working sets at 195/305/365) that balances strength and hypertrophy, with decent volume, at sustainable pace.
In the meantime, I've been doing heavy rope exercises for a few months, and I love it. The DOMs are awesome, and my shoulders have fucking popped. At 270 pounds, I can't do many chin-ups, but I recently picked up a tow strap, lat bar, and carbiners to make a custom lat station for my squat rack. Adding these to my T-bar and one-arm rows fills out my back/pull day nicely.
With the impending cold weather, I'm getting ready to switch to running indoors on a treadmill, but I'm also looking at joining a heavy-bag gym for upper-body cardio after work. Finally, after being in a bit of a funk, I've bumped up my Vitamin D intake, and the positive effects were almost immediate. I still need to schedule my yearly physical and get my T-levels rechecked.
Appearance
I have revamped my wardrobe, and for this fall, I have found a look that I like that still feels comfortable. I'm not 25 or 30 any more, and with my graying temples and beard and average looks, I am more professorial than anything else. I keep my hair trimmed, my teeth clean, and my breath fresh.
Slim-fit Levi 541s look good and fit my thighs nicely (36-38 waist). I have a couple polos, but I prefer henleys or button downs that highlight my shoulders while hiding some of my belly. I am not always the best dressed in the room, as there are still managers and sales guys in suits in the office, but even in work casual, I stand out in color, style, and demeanor -- and I can still catch the eye of women over 30.
Commitments
I work for a medium sized company. I'm the team lead, and after shepherding one major project to completion, I'm now the key man on a new high-profile venture for the company. This means that I'm putting in 60+ hours a week, and though I can work from home most days, it tends to impact my other commitments.
I volunteer at a local group for a few hours a week, and after a hectic summer, I've become too busy to stay on point with everything. Things are falling behind, details missed, and I probably need to give up some responsibilities, though I'm not sure to whom.
I still spend time with the family, but even here, the captain doesn't have the focus to keep the ship running perfectly. Finances are fine, there are plenty of fun ventures, and I handle or contribute to much of the household operations -- but the first officer is also busy, so things are falling between the cracks (small repairs, weekly chores, car maintenance). I need to make the effort to get (and keep) my planner up-to-date, so that I can better track what needs to be done and make sure it gets scheduled. I also need to discipline myself again that Saturdays are for completing tasks and not just a day of rest.
Marriage
The last 18 months have been a re-kindling of my marriage. The sex has been great, and while its tapered a bit from 2-3 times a week that I find optimal, it's due to longer hours and busy schedules and not a lack of interest. I don't know that we're any closer emotionally, as even during our DBR, we were never really distant, but passive dread has certainly had an effect. I no longer rely on her validation for my ego, I don't weigh my responses against her reaction, and (for the most part) I keep an even keel on all our interactions. I tease, but I don't do any push/pull. I initiate when I want, not when its time. I lead, and she follows.
For a while, I think she suspected I was having an affair, but she's never tried to confront me about it and I've neither suggested nor denied any such thing. Still, I have never strayed nor even dabbled in strange, except to become more aware of my own physicality and the responses of those around me. As someone who was always awkward, I still don't have the confidence to approach (or even stand out from the crowd), but I am making this my next major goal, and I have 3 months to work on it before my second year is up.
I've applied what I consider the best MRP precepts and tried to maintain a balance of alpha and beta. While I haven't become the red-pill hero like certain others here, my problems were never so bad. Any issues I've had with my wife were only due to my poor leadership, and as I've improved, so has every aspect of my life. I'm still deliberate and my responses measured, but now I have the insight to see things (and people) around me as they really are, the language to describe what I want out of life, the tools to make those things a reality.
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