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To piggy back on the boyfriend/husband/trifecta posts.

Are you a smooth motherfucker?

Or do you have an initiation sequence when you want to have sex?

Can your girl tell the difference between your playful, sexual, kino-laced banter (which you do, right?) and your actual desire for sex right then and there? Yes? Then you have more work to do.

There's this thing women have called ASD, or Anti-Slut Defense. This kicks as soon as you force, or even ask, her to make sexual decisions. When a woman has to make sexual decisions (e.g., do I accept this man's offer to slobber up his cock right now?), she will feel the weight of responsibility as the one wearing the sexual pants. Being the oldest child in the house, your wife doesn't want or need that responsibility if she is to be your babe.

Socially autistic guys have two modes. "Handle business" and "get down to business". When we're handling business, we're probably working, doing chores, playing with the kids, working on the car, making contacts, feeding our platonic relationships, etc.

Then we get horny, so our radar clicks on and finds the wifey (or any other wet and attractive hole, for some of us), and our mission is set.

The problem is that the bitch can tell when that radar starts up. And she dreads that ping. Not in the BPP manner, but the stomach-in-knots, I-hope-he-doesn't-see-me-here, oh-god-this-again type of dread. There's a visible cringe that happens in my wife's body language if I officially begin the process of coitus. It doesn't matter how objectively attractive you are. If you make this autistic move of flipping on your sex radar with such a loud click that the whales circling the arctic perk their ears, you're doing it wrong. You're not a dominant caveman, you're a geek who read some tricks on MRP and thought he found his balls.

Blur the line between

  • I'm a sexual guy who likes to tease and have fun

and

  • We're going to have sex now

It's a spectrum, not a binary choice. This means an actual rejection is not even possible, because when she gives a hard no, you're Stoically hanging out in one range of the sexy spectrum, not plopped on the wrong side of Pleasuretown. You have outcome independence, mostly because you are't limited to one outcome to begin with.

So I game, and sometimes the sex naturally follows. "That's what she said", "...in bed", gropes, ass slaps, boob grabs, pantsing, 10 second fireworks kisses, shameless PUA moves, or just a sly, knowing glance at any time of day. Sometimes I don't feeeel like gaming my wife. I do it anyway.

I come out of left field sometimes, instantly puts sex on her mind. But then I don't assume the go-ahead and go in for the kill, scaring the slut out of her. Plant the seed and move on. I don't keep it sexual so that she'll sleep with me. I keep it sexual because I am naturally sexual, and I find the remarks funny/sexy/amusing/fun. No hidden agenda behind them. You could even say I have no covert contracts. She feels no guilt in not having sex with me immediately, because she's not letting down my hornily constructed expectations.

When sex does happen, it's more of a slight ramp up, not a strenuous jump. It will "just happen". Even I've been caught off guard.

The status quo is a simmer of sexiness, and actual sex is a nice rolling boil. But the heat never turns off.

Advanced study: how to flow seamlessly from sexy hubby to caring father to badass professional/business owner to whatever the fuck else you do. It becomes more natural the more you do it. Have fun with it.


[–]shneakypete 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Man. This post is amazing. I don't understand why it has all the hate that it does but this man put something into words that I've been feeling for the past two years.

Worst part of red pill is how brutal the community is to noobs. "What!? Your wife won't give you BJ's on command? Side bar and lift, neck beard!"

This post is solid gold. It helped me a ton man. Good job.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You would prefer to be coddled? Deadbedrooms does that.

You get called a faggot here if you're being a faggot. You also get your dick wet.

Up to you which you prefer. Ego, or pussy.

Sadly, most pick ego

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Worst part of red pill is how brutal the community is to noobs. "What!? Your wife won't give you BJ's on command? Side bar and lift, neck beard!"

the simplest answer is usually the correct one

[–]shneakypete 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah. Lots of posts are pedantic and stupid but this post was valuable.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

its also a reiteration of sidebar stuff. its not a bad post. Not by any means. But its all in there.

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

It was a reminder to those who are like I was, retarded with game and following the handbook instead of living it. Sure its in the sidebar. But then why post at all?

I think your short stature gets to you sometimes. ;)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think your short stature gets to you sometimes. ;)

really? thats what you're going with ?

dude, you gotta try harder ....

remember: bald , short, almost literally disabled at one point.

you have so much more than "short stature" to work with !

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm warming back up. Water takes time to boil.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Much like your wife , I'm dissaponted.

Lol

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey you wouldn't want any premature anything now would you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would that be my concern ?

[–]Kingofdeadbedroom0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

"Side bar and lift, neck beard!" posted by random guys giving of their own time to shake you out of complacency and a pointless victimhood mentality to help you or a bitchy wife and no sex?

I can tell you which one is brutal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

brutal is the thing one is NOT used to.

[–]weakandsensitive[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

God help this community if it caters to n00bs like you.

[–]crimson_chris-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"C" post, but taken out of context some lard ass, still tipsy captian here is gonna start "gaming" his wife and wonder why it is still not working. "Eh...harpy bitch. Guess AWALT".

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Anti-slut defense is not the girl having to deal with responsibility. Anti-slut defense has to do with the social impact (either the view of her friends/people around her out in public, or her compiled view of herself compared to society's image of being a 'proper woman') that entertaining sex with you will have on her. Literally "I'm not a slut" defense.

Being the oldest child in the house, your wife doesn't want or need that responsibility if she is to be your babe.

This is true, but the reason this is a problem has everything to do with how she views you as low status. If you were to give it a name, beta shaming instinct might be the right one.

 

Other things that confused me:

if I officially begin the process of coitus

Present tense? Are you writing about it as you're still doing it?

I come out of left field sometimes

and

it's more of a slight ramp up

Don't mesh

She feels no guilt in not having sex with me immediately, because she's not letting down my hornily constructed expectations.

I think this is saying that because you don't expect sex immediately then she doesn't feel the beta neediness to have sex and/or 'let you down' right? I had to re-read a bunch, the writing style is a bit rough.

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anti-slut defense doesn't apply just in public settings. She doesn't want to feeeeel like a slut. And when you make it her responsibility to decide to have sex, she feels like a slut, not in a good way. I agree with your low status statement, and this post is for men who aren't natural alphas or already on top of their game. It's a reminder for those who, like I used to be, struggle with social awareness.

Present tense?

Mixed up tenses. But I do test these theories occasionally for fun.

I come out of left field sometimes and it's more of a slight ramp up Don't mesh

I make things sexual very randomly, and actual sexual activities are the icing on the cake.

because you don't expect sex immediately then she doesn't feel the beta neediness to have sex and/or 'let you down' right?

Exactly.

Thanks for the feedback. I've been gone awhile, didn't realize how rusty I got.

[–]crimson_chris4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

BUT. If you are a fat autistic fuck, you don't start here. You start with the basics. Yes the fucking basics. Lift. STFU. Sidebar. Then learn AM and A&A. Then you move on gaining Frame, OI and Abundance Mentality. There are no shortcuts or magic bullets. Only work.

Look. I have ALWAYS been overtly sexual/flirty with my wife. I have also been in relatively decent shape. So when I started MRP, I was able to implement ABC (always be closing) relatively fast. It was an old behavior that I let fade away (and yea, it does work). If this is new to you, don't just jump into it. If you would not fuck you, don't expect your wife to respond positively to you "flirting". There are pretty predictable steps of progressions here. Some fat, antisocial fuck here is going to flirt with his wife and get rejected, get butthurt (no OI) and the go Rambo and say this shit does not work.

But, again it does work if you follow the progression and put in the work. Today my wife had a small victory. I literally just texted her congtats and suggested that we get some chocolate cake to celebrate. Her response "oh, so you can lick some chocolate frosting off me later tonight". My response was "no, so you can suck some off me". She is conditioned to know that sex is always on the table with me. I barely have to lead her there. I make anything I can fun and sexual.

Tldr; Don't be fat. Don't be autistic. Learn the basics. THEN flirt with your wife. (Oh, and remember YOU are the prize).

[–]oak_water[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post isn't for men like you. You were a natural that let things slide. I was a dad-bod socially autistic retard who had to learn the basics. This is a moderate level reminder to those who have done the basics and are initiating well, but still don't enjoy the flow. This post is for that flow.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Was expecting this to be a post from a guy who's woman cheated on him and she used this excuse as to why...

[–]oak_water[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a story for another time maybe

[–]Flagfootball992 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post..

"it's a spectrum , it's not binary. "..

Great. as a stem tard, i tend to think black and white, on or off. What helped me is learning to have fun, cocky funny attitude, .stop over thinking shit when it's not necessary. Always be sexual. yes, my wife saw me coming a mile away when i wanted sex and it.was.probably cringe worthy.

As far as the negative comments goes, you really need to think of these post as a locker room, sharing of ideas and field reports. Take what's useful for you and ignore the rest. Add to.your.tool.box...

Any good profession; engineering, medicine, teaching, law, etc. Are all PRACTICES, not absolutes. Yes, we learn them from sidebar of textbooks and classroom training,but.you.need.to practice it out in the field. That's where the real learning takes.place. Same.with this place. It's a Practice. I choose to think of this place as such.

[–]oak_water[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been here for years. Took some time off, jumping back in with a fresh handle. These guys (and others, RIP) thickened up my skin back in 2013-14. Thanks for the concern though.

[–]thewrightstuff881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This correlated with the notion that men operate like a switch, on and off, while women are more like a volume knob, they have to be turned on gradually

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

So you are a socially autistic dude who's wife cringes when he escalates too quickly. That's what I got from this.

[–]oak_water[S] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not everyone gets to be a natural.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Its not new news but nicely written. I like the reference to wife catching on to you intentions.

Like a little fox pricking her ears up, to add another analogy.

[–]crimson_chris2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You should always be sexual as a man. Don't only engage your mate when you want sex. It's not about your wife "catching" your intentions. She should welcome sexual attention from a man with high SMV. You guys are getting this wrong if you think of this as a defensive strategy. "How can I not worry her about having sex with me". It's about creating a sexual atmosphere.

Your fox metaphor makes me cringe.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You say it like it's a bad thing.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Apparently there's a lot of those types in here recently.

I prefer to skip the plausible deniability long game bullshit and just slap her on the ass and tell her to go to our room and get undressed (kids at home). But if the OP's method is the only way the dude gets to fuck then I guess it's better than nothing.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

So you brought up her "dread -ing" having to fuck you, but then you don't mention dread

Dread in itself is the time she met you and then fucked you repeatedly to seal the deal and then you go all lax, putting her on a shelf, only to Fuck her at your convience. She knows this and then you got fat - add autistic and well, you got dreading to fuck and dreading having to stay with you at all

Re set. Monk mode or whatever, working on yourself, And your keying into a few principles, but your missing dread.properly studied and applied, she's finding places and times to fuck.

umh, excuse me- screechhater, what did you just say ?.

Run through each level properly. By levels 4 and 5, the anti slut goes away at times and grabs you and puts you into a soaking wet box or pushes your head down there with nails making your scalp bleed, while keeping the action going, allowing enough break time for air or swallowing

Watching what she does at this Level vs what she used to say about being too old for this, tells the tail tell signs of Dread and the work in MRP at hand, pays off

Congrats. You've scratched the surface, but get off the covert contractual betaism

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I've been here for years. This isn't new to me. Just a reminder.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Years ? you have been asleep then

dread.properly studied and applied, she's finding places and times to fuck.

when you are valuable, the cock is grabbed and placed in her mouth, by her

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Two different kinds of dread my man.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do enlighten me. Apparently I'm missing something

[–]oak_water[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've been around long enough. Or you didn't read my OP within context.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yeah see...what this really is a typical TRP post where we get RP barfed back at us.

Where’s the insight? The introspection? What did you learn how did you learn it that may help other men?

[–]shneakypete 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

The insight is your wife can smell you coming from a mile away. What he learned was to get rid of the black and white and create a sexual spectrum. Basically radar is jammed.

I think the problem is NAWALT. I've dated chicks who were sexual all the time. Gaming them is easy. My current LTR is like differential equations. That girl has a military grade ASD. For the guys with chicks like that, the experience is infuriating. My girl is loyal, gorgeous, pays rent, dependable, low n count, but sexual she is not. The guys who were shitty at gaming their wives and their wives had weak asd's or the guys were just super autistic make gains quick. Guys with game but with ltr's with strong asd are going to work hard for the gains.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you learned it’s your fault.

Good lesson.

[–]oak_water[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So it didn't help you. It worked for me. And I would have appreciated if someone wrote this back years ago when I started.

[–]BostonBrakeJobRoTY4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's right in saying it's not new info, but I def. needed to read this at the moment. A perfectly timed reminder, for me.

[–]crimson_chris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agees. Basic shit. Rehash of the sidebar.

[–]Poofysmoof0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Constant improvement, always be pushing yourself. I know I had gotten lazy and all kinds of shit hit The Fan. I grabbed my balls and hit that grind, figured out it was my fault and took care of my business. Now I don’t just get iOi from the woman, I get it everywhere. Shit, I’ve even seen men pointing me out maybe to shit on me but the lady their with licking their fucken lips like I’m prime rib. Don’t do that, women will notice other men without you pointing them out and if it’s a guy like me I’ll wink at her, while she’s salivating haha. Back to my point, keep pushing. This is the MRP, so sometime ago she was attracted to you. She owns half your shit, she liked you maybe loved you, and hopefully at one time she lusted after you. Help her bring back that lust, it will come back if she wants it too. You just have to be the top of your game or heading towards it, I’m far from it but if I get even a little more out of this deal I’ll be on top. I say this because my dick is raw from all the sex I get now. She touches me in the morning, evening I’m her steak now, and the act omg it’s like we are in our youth. It’s good but also no matter how tired you are give it to them like your the Sancho, because that fucker would. Fuck Sancho, bastard. Good luck

[–]makethemflaunt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Solid post, And I want to add something in regards to this:

Then we get horny, so our radar clicks on... The problem is that the bitch can tell when that radar starts up. And she dreads that ping.

and

When a woman has to make sexual decisions (e.g., do I accept this man's offer to slobber up his cock right now?), she will feel the weight of responsibility as the one wearing the sexual pants....your wife doesn't want or need that responsibility...

 

While it's true that the feminine prefers to be led and to not feel responsibility for things, I think that there is a deeper cause for the guttural female cringe in the example above.

 

Namely, the man in this example is showing his cards, his end-game, what he really wants; expressing that his actions do not stand in and of themselves as worthwhile contributions to the social exchange, but are only valuable and good if they are moving the woman towards sex. This puts her in an awkward situation.

The sub-conscious thought process goes something like this: "If I reject him, he's going to get butt-hurt and ruin a perfectly good evening. Oh no, I better distract him and get away from this situation!" And so she scrambles desperately to get away from the situation of the thirsty needy male as soon as possible. A whole host of maladies may come up: headache, tiredness, lady cramps, an inexplicable desire to talk about something boner-killing....

 

When showing hornyness is okay

Women who enjoy being hit on by their man, teased and played with in the ways you describe, don't mind knowing that their man is feeling horny—in fact that makes them feel good—as long as they know he is also totally able to go with the flow with whatever her fickle feminine response may be at any given moment. She wants the safety of being able to "play" with being flirty and even do some initial fore'play', without having to commit to the whole kit and caboodle.

 

While the ping of a thirsty man will send a woman running for cover, the expression of "I'm feeling horny, and I'm going to flirt with you, because I like your body" coming from a confident outcome-independent man may actually start the chemistry going for the evening.

[–]oak_water[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

man in this example is showing his cards, his end-game, what he really wants

Well put. It used to be so painfully obvious to my wife when I wanted sex. I didn't see the point of foreplay, being a social retard who apparently hated to have fun. My expression was essentially, "So... are we doing this?" And when sex wasn't on my mind, I was cold as a rock.

Doesn't hurt that my body is much more attractive now too. Throw in the fact that I'm taking care of shit around the house and things are much different now. She's not burdened with wearing the pants and is free to wear the skirt. Complete with crotchless panties.

And your last paragraph is spot on too. So counter-intuitive.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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