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The first thing we tell new guys here is to STFU, start reading sidebar resources, and LIFT (not necessarily in that order). There is a good reason for all of those things separately, which have been covered repeatedly in posts here and askMRP. Today I'd like to talk to you maggots about the deeper reason those particular activities are all staples of the 'program', and what ties them all together: self-esteem.

Now, I'm not talking Stuart Smalley daily self-affirmation stuff here, and I'm certainly not giving out participation trophies. I'm talking about true, genuine positive self-concept, which has always, and can only be built on honest achievement. If you've washed up on our shores here, odds are you don't have much positive self-concept, and probably could use some basic empowering achievements.

We tell you to lift because you don't like how your body looks. You're fat, you're weak, you're unhealthy. You get winded moving furniture. You take elevators up one floor instead of the stairs. You know you should do better, and you don't. Cue bad feelings, poor self-concept.

We tell you to read because you lack the knowledge of how things are and how you should cope with that. You fail shit tests, you get taken advantage of, you are not in control of your time, of your life. Your philosophy is broken with predictably disastrous results. Cue bad feelings, poor self-concept.

We tell you to STFU because you play the victim, you overshare your fee-fees, you ruin any respect people might have had for you. As you learn, you want to get validated: Look, I'm figuring it out! Don't do that. If you do, you'll undo your progress. Cue bad feelings, poor self-concept.

I'm smiling imagining those of you who, as you read this, knee-jerk reject the whole notion. "I'm not low self-esteem! I like myself just fine, it's the World that isn't fair! It's the World that doesn't recognize my value!" Don't kid yourself. You don't have any value until you make some.

I know you have low self-esteem or you wouldn't be in the mess you're in. You wouldn't take the shit you do from your family, your boss, your friends, your WIFE. So follow the program. Get fit, get educated, and for the love of all that's unholy, STFU. Then you'll start to actually LOVE YOURSELF. The rest is just noise.

[edited for improved formatting]


[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I always laugh when bloopers and their kin shit on 'lift bro!' Some kind of mockery at our caveman way of dealing with complex problems.

Most people won't take medicine unless it's delivered in the form of a gummy bear. Not only were you too ego invested to go along with the plan to get out of your own way, you'd sabotage it if you had the self awareness to know why you're doing these things.

Instead, just do them, stop thinking about it, and get out of your own way. Once you get a few miles under your belt, then you start to see why you did them.

Daniel always bitched about painting myiagi's house, until he started blocking kicks

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

When I watch The Karate Kid I root for the karate kid, Johnny Lawrence from the Cobra Kai dojo!

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ISeekMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic! Thoroughly enjoyed that. Would watch more such videos calling out the blue pill "nice guy"ness of so-called heroes in Hollywood movies.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sweep the leg!

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get him a body bag!

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

When lifting there comes a point where things start being easier in everyday. That's why you should for strength in the beginning and not worry about losing weight right away. The stairs are easier to climb, your back is not hurting every day. Those little things start to add up. Then comes the time where you even surprise yourself at things that are now possible. There is a pride and an ego that grows with iron.

My favorite part is when men start turning the corner of being bossed by their wives. They start saying no, and they have the tools to start imposing their will onto others. At times that means things are going to blow up and they stop being afraid of the outcome. I got more out of NMMNG than I ever did WISNIFG because the moment I stopped being the nice guy I immediately had the ability to say no. I don't need to fog or be assertive when her opinion on my actions means nothing to me. Thats the beauty of the sidebar reading materials. They all apply to each person in a unique way.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I got more out of NMMNG than I ever did WISNIFG because the moment I stopped being the nice guy I immediately had the ability to say no.

Yes! agree.

[–]JustOneMoreAcct2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

WISNIFG was a collection of tools that I needed but they wouldn't have been useful without NMMNG telling me I could use them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Agree. As long as I'm in the mood, I'll add:

Over time, a couple of years for me, like you, the use of WISNIFG was to continue my progress on NMMNG. As u/Bogeyd6 said, once you really kill the "nice guy" (and that took me a long time) the tools in WISNIFG are not needed. As you learn how to assert yourself and learn to just say no, you don't need the WISNIFG process to learn how to be assertive. You are assertive. Like the learn to dodge bullets scene from The Matrix, you no longer need to.

I was surprised how long it took me, unlike u/Rian_Stone, u/Bogeyd6 and many others here. Maybe age, but the goal is to kill the nice guy, and you no longer have to dodge bullets. It is true, regardless of how long it takes.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You make it sound like we are psychopaths :D It's true however that as the nice guy mentality fades it never goes completely away. Every now and again I catch myself doing things I don't want to do just to get along.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same. It's always the long game. For her, it's instinct. For me, its purposeful.

My current fault is a 'reward good behaviour' mentality. I'll put up with more than I should if she's been especially good the last while.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is an interesting realization and now that you mention it I’m pretty sure I do the same. My behavior should be straight as an arrow regardless of her whims. Sounds like a post topic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Every now and again I catch myself doing things I don't want to do just to get along.

Yes, me too.

Saying "kill the nice guy" is an overstatement of the reality of how it works. Instead "tie em up!" :)

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Complacency is just too comfortable.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey, apolgozie for the grammar. I've spent a few weeks speaking only spanish ;) Glad you found NMMNG as equally rewarding.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I was assuming you had been sucked and fucked senseless. Now I'm disappointed....

[–]thunderbeyond6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks Sorceror, it was your 30 Days in March that swung me into action here because:

  • I was a skinnyfat fuck who dressed poorly, had no care for appearance, let medical problems just go on...

  • I didn't understand shit, and I couldn't understand why life was so fucking unfair (ugh the feelz)

  • I reacted every time I was shit-tested, I didn't even know what frame was, and I got angry and frustrated at everyone except myself

It led me into a spiral of feeling like utter shite, and not knowing how to get out of it, which nearly resulted in my walking out from a marriage that I couldn't understand.

You're right, I had no self-esteem.

But take heed newbs, you floppy lobsters and mrpnoobs and guys who think they know better. If you're here, you couldn't work it out yourself. Your marriage counsellor couldn't work it out for you. Your wife certainly couldn't work it out for you.

So fucking listen. The formula works. Lift. Read. STFU. Read the comments, read the posts, but think for yourself. Sure, start by copying and applying concepts at a basic level. But you have to learn MRP, internalise MRP, and eventually it will just come out. Like u/AustralianArm says in his post, you'll start noticing the small wins.

You won't get self-esteem from being a doormat to your wife. When you realise that it's not about changing her, it's about improving you, that rush of self-esteem should hit you like a fresh ocean breeze.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, good testimony. Glad you enjoy 60 DoD as well.

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the props, man.

Live daily for those small wins.

[–]SimilarSalvation2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

If only there was some central place for you to pin this knowledge so future beginners maggots have something to fall back on...

Oh! It is called the sidebar! Oh! It never gets read because they always know better... :/ 

Good wrap up of the core concepts, though

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red7 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

The latest retard had the balls to say 'don't just tell me sidebar and lift, it's so cliche to the point of being meaningless'

fuckin guys

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

fuckin guys

no they are not

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Well, the one pretended to be gay, just so we wouldn't be so mean when helping him out...

maybe they want to

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Where I grew up pretending to be gay got you a shit-load of trouble. Maybe he out-smarted us all and got some abuse he wanted instead, like a bloopping troll.....

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's legal now.....

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Forgot that, again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

ne pretended to be gay, just so we wouldn't be so mean when helping him o

lol, I meant they arent fucking.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Whats the point of being gay if you're not fucking other men?

Then again, whats the point of pretending to be gay so you don't get fucked by other men?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

homosexuals and faggots.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

are two different terms

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thats my point.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But I need help now!

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ohhh ! I can't lift momma says, "Don' like 'dat bulk !"

Ohhh ! I, I, I , downloaded NMMNG on da family IIII pad and now momma knows about da fight club

Mmmmm, momma, "sexxy time yes ?"

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then you'll start to actually LOVE YOURSELF. The rest is just noise.

I try not to make too much noise when I love myself.

 

Seriously though, positive feedback loops from these basic practices are a great way to build self esteem.

[–]captainVSI0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lifting also releases brain chemicals that help change one’s mood. I have yet to come across someone after a workout who feels worse than when they walked in the gym.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Shhh... you might inspire guys to get off their asses and do the work!

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ya seriously. My gym is crowded enough as it is.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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