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No More Mister Nice Guy and me. If you just got here, read this book NOW. (self.marriedredpill)

submitted by 4thofJulythrowaway

This book opened a window into my soul within the first 50 pages. I cried from happiness for the first time in my life tonight...I don't even know what to say. I'm the perfect fucking shadow/anti-shadow of the examples I had growing up. I guess I do know what to say.

My marriage is probably toast (Long distance...not even once). But I'm gonna be alright.

I know this book probably doesn't hit everyone quite that hard...or leave them feeling so at peace. But goddamn. I got no anger, I just felt nothing but love for all my fellow humans, my wife, my mother and father...trying to walk in their parents footsteps while simultaneously trying to walk the opposite direction.

If you're on this sub, you need to read this book. Journal while you do it.

And forget your anger for a minute, we're all just human.


[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's the first book on the list fir a reason

I settled in my marraige. My covert contracts were there, but I seemed to work so fucking hard, they were indifferent until I slowed down enough to start the nice guy mind fuck

[–]thatboyjeff5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

TRM is my favorite, NMMNG second.

Get yours, son.

[–]InvincibleKraken2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Same here. TRM is too advanced for the new guys; they need to be around here for awhile first. But TRM gives a deeper foundation for understanding NMMNG.

[–]discobolus_ 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I wouldn't call TRM "advanced". It was the first sidebar book that clicked for me, and I wasn't starting from an advanced point by any stretch.

I think maybe some guys need the whats first and the whys next. With myself, I think I needed the whys first.

Where NMMNG gave me a "Ok, some if this might apply if I squint." TRM hit me square in the jaw.

Rollo uses a few big words & academic style that might scare off some......but it's not like the concepts you learn in NMMNG or MMSLP are prerequisites for TRM.

[–]straius 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Think TRM just covers more ground while WISNIFG and NMMNG are more specific. TRM is a larger mental model to develop which I think is partly why it's more advanced. It's also a lot harder to swallow than the others.

But essentially I agree with you. If PUA stidf is new to people, TRM is an even bigger mental leap.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So not advanced, just meta

[–]InvincibleKraken1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's foundational theory, is what I meant. A lot of the new guys are looking for tricks and gimmicks for a soft fix. /u/88will88 had a good piece recently on taking off the training wheels.

You're right, ultimately. It's really not that advanced. But it is not likely to be digested properly, at first, by 3/4 of the guys who show up here without a clue. NMMNG, imo, is more palatable for them.

[–]thatboyjeff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe. I read TRM first.

[–]nooomaam4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm re-doing this book. The first time I read it, it sparked a sense of exploration and some of the exercises were too much.

I created enough change that I needed to get back to a state of stabilization.

Now that I'm re-visiting it, it's even heavier. Good lord. I mean what the fuck is in the next two books....

For instance, the idea of sabotaging yourself, deserving the life you want, and stopping to strive to do it perfectly have unearthed the realization that I am addicted to internet porn, fapping, and it's a major distraction and self sabotage, as I allow it to impede on tons of opportunities and takes me away from what I want.

I hate myself right now. But the fire of confidence and righteousness still pushes me.

[–]CrippleSlap1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Downloaded it today. Gonna finish WISNIFG first, then read NMMNG.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

afterwards you really see how nice guys aren't so nice and really aren't likeable. Everyone loves an asshole because they know what he wants and how they stand with him.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It was important enough to me that I read it twice, and saved the answers in a google doc. Going to come back and do it again in probably another six months.

I also followed the suggestions, including vacations by myself. Although it sounds like you're not even living with your wife, so everyday is a vacation by yourself.

[–]4thofJulythrowaway 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm certainly no stranger to spending time alone.

Oddly, I feel like a lot of the book didnt really apply to me. I'm a nice guy in my marriage for sure...but outside of it, not so much. I'm also no caretaker.

My addictions have been my greatest problem. I realize that now and I'm battling those demons head on like I never have in my life.

[–]Westernhagen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a nice guy,, a beta even, in my marriage for sure...but outside of it, not so much.

I used to think I was a nice guy beta passive-aggressive covert contract guy "just with women" but not in everything else. After further reflection, I concluded this was not true. Perhaps I was less that way other than with women, but it was still there.

I encourage all "Nice Guys" to put their entire life under a microscope, not just their relations with women.

[–]210w0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just finished reading a few nights ago. After I read it everything I've been frustrated with kind of clicked into place. Found this sub purely through coincidence but I suspect some kind of cosmic juju is at play. Time to get off the mat and come back swinging.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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