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Farewell to my friend (self.marriedredpill)

submitted by ProbablyAMonkey

I'm out of town on a business trip, and tomorrow I have to drive home and put my dog to sleep.

I've had him for longer than I've been married (12 years). He was diagnosed on Monday (without me there) with systemic cancer. He's failing fast.

He was always a faithful companion and loyal to me. He got along fine with my wife, but when I was at home, he was always by my side. Not only that, but he was very protective of my children.

When going on walks, if we passed by another dog or person that he didn't know, he would run right up to my son--putting himself between my son and the danger. Every time.

While I'm still working on oneitis with my wife, there's no question that my dog was the one. I could not ask for more from any companion.

Being perfectly honest, I've cried my eyes out tonight. I can't remember the last time I cried in grief.

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

I've been reading Marcus Aurelius. It feels empty now.

"Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight."

Seems silly to be so upset over a pet, but tonight I grieve.

Tomorrow, I will be a rock for my wife, my children, and my faithful friend.

Tomorrow, I will be a rock. Tonight I grieve.


[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

First time I ever saw my father cry was at the vet when our dog, of 15 years, died. No shame in shedding tears for a loyal friend.

[–]CopybookHeadings7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Even the legendary hero Odysseus shed a tear for his dying hound: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argos_(dog)

[–]HelperBot_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argos_(dog)

HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 58100

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here. I was a kid and we had to put down our dog that we had had since I was a baby. He was a great dog... I feel like when my cat goes I'll be in tears. He's going good to be 17 next month.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A dog is the only thing on this Earth which loves you more than itself. Honor the life of your dog by living a little more 'dog like' in your life.

Not angry about the past and not worrying about the future, but totally immersed in each moment.

[–]AustralianArm24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Q: If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first?

A: The dog – at least he would be happy once he was in.

Your dog is pretty much the only unconditional love you will ever experience. You are right to grieve.

My condolences to you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A: My wife

[–]bangorlol points points [recovered] | Copy Link

In the last 12 years I've cried twice - once after a fist fight with my dad when I was a young teenager, and once as I was putting my dog of 12 years to sleep due to cancer. My dog to me was very much the same as yours to you - loyal, protective, fun, and just a great buddy on all fronts. I gave my dog a pretty good final day, despite her suffering. Expensive beef jerky, a new bed, new toys, and tons of attention. It was easier than expected to have her put down because of her state of suffering. But yeah, as soon as my dog was gone I cried like a little bitch for a good 5 minutes straight.

I think the hardest part was having my wife there with me. She kept asking if I was okay, asking how I was feeling, and was staring intently at my face to see if I was tearing up or whatever. Looking back at it now, I wish I had gone alone. I appreciate her efforts, but it wasn't really what I needed at the time.

One thing that helped me through the process was donating all of my dogs toys, leashes, etc to friends and neighbors with dogs. I've got her collar and a ton of fond memories remaining - that's all I need.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think the hardest part was having my wife there with me. She kept asking if I was okay, asking how I was feeling, and was staring intently at my face to see if I was tearing up or whatever.

Last time I cried was when my grandfather, major influence in my life, died. My wife was around and utterly useless in providing any compassion or comfort. Not that she was being a cold bitch, mind you, but that she literally had no idea what the fuck to do. I've seen her naturally comfort other women, children, in this state, but she was a fucking deer in headlights when she saw this. This was several years ago pre-RP, so I had no idea what her problem was but I get it now - they simply are not wired to deal with their men in such a condition.

[–]turn20left1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My best friend's wife (I introduced them) cried in my arms the other day because their marriage is failing. I didn't know what to do.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

for women, just be the oak and tightly embrace them within your strong branches. That's it. This is another place STFU is your friend. If it goes on too long you can break the tension with an inappropriate joke. In this case, since no one died, you can always go "I'd love to comfort you more but my double dose of Viagra is starting to kick in, if you catch my drift".

[–]FRedington points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Sadly, you will likely face the same at your end of days.
AWALT.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It can depend. My dad got really sick last year, and my mom practically lived in the hospital with him for 3 weeks.

But yeah, best not to count on that. I hope to go out with the same shit-eating grin I have on right now, whether my woman is beside me, or whether I'm thinking about the cute nurse's ass, or both.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Old school lady, a class act.

Only wish they made.em like that still

[–]BigAl73902 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you want companionship, get a dog...

I'm gonna hate the day my duck dog passes away. Shes only 7 but damn I'd give anything for her to live as long as me

[–]zezozio7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He was a good dog and served you and your family well. It is proper to mourn him well.

I've been through many heartaches in life, but none was greater than losing my dog after 15 years of delight. I dug a big hole to bury him, placed him there on his mat, with a ball and filled up the hole. One of the hardest thing I had to do. All the best.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seems silly to be so upset over a pet, but tonight I grieve.

The only being in the world who really just wants to be with you, even if you are sometimes not the most pleasant to be around.

feeling grief for your loss is not silly.

[–]CoreyI355 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never trust a man that doesn't cry when his dog dies.

[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

A dog will always be MAN'S BEST friend because of their gift of unconditional love.

Sadly, it wasn't always this way, but as a now RP aware man, from a mindset of loyalty, commitment, and necessity, this will forever be my priority list...

Me
Kids
Dog
Immediate family, wife, friends

[–]BigAl73902 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dog Me Truck Guns Wife

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sadly, it wasn't always this way, but

sometimes I think it was.

[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

sometimes I think it was

I get your point but I meant it wasn't always this way WITH ME.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OH, I was thinking historically.

Like, in the course of history.

[–]BostonT002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can't remember which article it was that I read in the main sidebar, but it mentioned something about how you can never receive the love you want from a woman, she loves you in her own way, etc. but that you can find this unconditional love from a dog. So true. Best friends for life.

[–]BeefJesusMaker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Balled my eyes out when I lost my dog a year and a half ago. Sometimes it still hurts when I think about her. She was there nearly everyday for half of my life. I feel your pain bro. Sorry for your loss...

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have had to put down three dogs and I cried more than one of the children was born.

During the recession in 2008 I had to put one down with a bullet, I have to live with that the rest of my life.

When I would take them out in the woods and they would be on point, I would be grounded and come to realize they were a sign from God. All is right in this world when your companion is happiest at your side protecting you or chasing down what you just shot to feed you

God perfected the companion and unconditional love with dogs. I will miss all three of mine until I die.

I will pray for your loyal companion and faithful friends journey to heaven don't be ashamed to show emotion, for he would give his life for yours

[–]meaningintragedy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why did you have to shot him/her?

[–]GatemouthBrown4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dogs are easily the best people in the world. The day we had to put down my 18 year old childhood back lab is still the worst day of my life and it's been about 25 years since.

[–]Scrubpuppy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's no shame in what you're feeling. That dog is the most loyal being in the world to you.

You're lucky to have him and he's lucky to have you.

[–]OneTipAtATime2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look."

I am sorry for your loss.

[–]maxofreddit1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We've had a strict "No Pets" rule in the house our whole marriage (12 years)...all these comments are causing me to reconsider...

Glad you've had a friend so dear, and sorry that they had to leave...hang in there man. Have the feelz, your friend earned them.

[–]agentphunk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A dog is not a pet. Cats? Fuck cats. A dog is a companion.

[–]TheRidgeway1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had to put my 11 year old Boykin down last September. Buried her alone, out in the woods by the creek where she learned to swim.

I still think about her everyday and sometimes catch myself thinking she's still here.

Sorry for your loss, brother.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking onions in here...

Been away since 10 this morning. When i get home, they act like I died and came back.

Hitchens meets me at the door when i get home.... Every time.

Every fucking time, 3am. 10pm. Doesnt matter.

The least one can do for those guys would be to grieve.

The SO? I've learned to get her best, I have to be a little detached, not alltogether there.

The boys dont give two shits about that, if theres room on my lap to sleep, they are good with that. If not, sleeping at my feet is the next best thing. They guard the door from errant sounds... They couldn't stop danger, and i think they know that, but they wont stop trying.

Fuck it, have a good cry, tell your wife to fuck off for an hour.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have an old dog who we have given insulin twice a day for 3 years. She tore a tendon on her leg and can't jump in the car any more. She falls down the stairs and every night I carry my 75 pound friend up the stairs to our bedroom. Every evening when it is time for her shot she comes to get me.

You are not silly st all and don't take just one day to grieve. Take what you need.

A wise man sat in the lotus position all day and night for years at the top of the mountain. Every year a man would climb the mountain to ask a question. One year a young man climbed the treacherous trail and asked the wise man an important question:

Master, I seek a female companion who will never complain, contributes to my life,and is always happy to see me.

The wise man continue to stare ahead, not moving and said:

Get a dog.

Also: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/Poem.htm

[–]VandyMarine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My heart goes out to you dude. Mine is 12 and I know this day is coming fast and it bums the hell out of me.

[–]LaLongCarabine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I cried like a baby when I had to put my K-9 partner down. He'd been with me more than any being for 9 years of work and four in his "retirement". He saved me pain on numerous occasions and never failed me.

It's hard OP but he'll be there to greet you in the end. I believe this.

[–]VigilantRedRooster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Such a good dog! He will be missed.

Something I did for a friend who lost a long term pet recently, mixed 3 parts soil the dog lived upon to one part portland cement, poured into concrete mold. If the pet is cremated, ashes can be mixed in. One of the most meaningful and enduring things you can do to remember a friend as close as this.

[–]theunconquored0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No shame in that, my friend. I've never cried like I did when my 5.5 year old Sharpei got put to sleep after kidney failure.

Your story about your dog putting himself between you and your son made me remember how my dog used to lay next to me wherever I sat, always facing away from me. He was watching my back. I didn't even realize it until someone else pointed it out.

I miss him. You'll miss him. Don't deprive yourself of the pain by hiding from it....experience it and feel it hard...then learn from it.

Hope you're doing better.

[–]ProbablyAMonkey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. It was a fucking rough day (and week), but hearing so many other men talk about how important their faithful friends are was really moving.

I'm not going to lie, I bawled my eyes out, but I was also there for my kids and wife.

Special thanks to u/TheFamilyAlpha who really hit the nail on the head. "Honor the life of your dog by living a little more 'dog like' in your life."

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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