TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

59

People say married red pill is red pill on hard mode. I've never agreed with that statement. I personally think it's a cop out. That doesn't make it a wrong statement.

What is Hard Mode?

Hard Mode is the reality that your wife has years and years of experience of you being a total schlub and loser.

The truth is that it is always easier to make a new impression on someone completely new than to change the impression that someone already has. This is why there's the 7 hour rule in PUA. It's impossible to have 2 first impressions.

Why is it hard mode?

Hard Mode is the natural consequence of growing relationships.

The first and foremost challenge in any situation is complacency. Complacency will overcome everything. When humanity is dead in 10,000 years - nature will have reclaimed the greatest buildings in human civilization. If you're being complacent in your relationships (marriage, work, otherwise), your relationships are decaying. They're not going to be thriving.

Second, the roles and requirements to be attractive change. Remember, a toddler saying "Look daddy, I wiped my butt" is cute. A 13 year old doing it is not. As we grow, basic concepts of growing up are expected.

You, as man, should be able to adult at the very bare minimum. A 16 year old making $10,000 a year is impressive. A 40 year doing the same is not.

What do growing requirements have to do with Hard Mode?

Attraction.

It's actually very simple and it makes a ton of sense when you think about it. In a relationship, there are multiple stages. First, you're a boyfriend, then you're a husband, and finally you're a father. Let's break this down a bit.

Boyfriend

When you were just a boyfriend, the only thing you really needed to do to be attractive was to have fun, enjoy life, take an interest, and show her a good time. The requirements were really low.

Your requirements for her were simple too. She had to come over, be pretty, dress well, cook some dinners, and fuck you.

Husband

But at some point, you guys decided to move in together. Now you've got co-habitation requirements as well. Things like being able to pay rent, flushing the toilet after taking a piss, leaving crusty dishes in the sink. None of those are going to build your attractiveness, but not doing them will probably kill your attractiveness to some degree.

Now, instead of showing her a good time every time you guys spend time together, maybe it's once a week. And hell, you're busy (read as: lazy), so instead of being spontaneous and fun, you schedule a "date night". But planning date nights is hard, so you get a routine date night - dinner and movies. That absolutely screams romance and passion and not apathy and complacency.

For her part, she no longer feels the need to impress you as much. After all, she's your wife now. Maybe she's only shaving every 3rd day. Maybe she's only going to the gym once a week. There's no need for her to keep trying as hard. After all, you're more than willing to put up with it - you're not fucking that skank Tracy down the street yet anyway.

Father

But let's suppose you did the husband thing all right. Or, probably more accurate, let's assume you didn't slip as much as it could've.

Well, now you're a father. So now, not only do you have to figure out to thrive for not only yourself, you're responsible for the kids as well. Again, while being able to provide for the kids isn't attractive, not being able to provide for the kids is very unattractive.

See where this is going?

Hit the trifecta

For me, this insight came when I was trying to figure out why I wasn't as satisfied with my wife as I should've been. And it was because she wasn't checking the girlfriend box to my satisfaction. I realized I was also slacking on parts of my different roles. The reason Married Red Pill is hard mode is because in order to be attractive, you have to be attractive as a boyfriend, as a husband, and as a father. If you get a new plate, you just have to be attractive as a boyfriend.

Similarly, the expectation should be that your wife is attractive to you as a girlfriend (that slutty little thing that would fuck for days on end), as a wife (because who wants a nasty house?), and as a mother (no cunt kids for me, thanks.). It's ridiculous to expect all 3 to happen all the time, but it's not as ridiculous to expect each of the three to happen some of the time.

The solution is to recognize and kill complacency. Easy, right?


[–]Terribledragon4Hire18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't that come down to the phrase: "all guys want a hostess in the parlor, a chef in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men often get lost in the details, and forget to see the bigger picture.

This is why I find value in bringing the nuance to the succinct phrases like you had here... Most just use them as a pep talk, and don't understand their depth at first glance.

WMP has always been a hard fucker on this stuff, I have had the same issue on occasion. Bringing the old PUA out for an occasional rip sometimes gets forgotten when one is running a tight ship.

Ebbs and flows.

And as an amendment to the phrase, men always want that, but do they act congruently to get that?

Most don't

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep, you distilled this shit post down to a 1920's phrase. OP overthinks shit

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So to be clear, from a relative perspective compared to being single, MRP is RP on hard mode, as you describe. But no real time should be wasted on the consideration of that, past acknowledging that fact.

It should be: "Yep, it's hard mode...moving on..."

Rather than:

"It's haaaaaard mode."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. Too many don't want to move forward, they want the crutch they can blame their failures one.

Just so long as it isn't their fault.

It's like if we wish hard enough, we can grow out own vaginas

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED14 points15 points  (66 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that's so true man. I have a really hard time with the boyfriend part.

As a husband, I fully contribute my share around the house. As a father, I make sure my kids have lots of fun and are well takin of. As a boyfriend, I have a really hard time getting her to live.

When I first started my MAP, everything was my fault. I seen the error in all the ways I was unattractive. For the most part I've fixed it. Still fixing shit though.

What I'm realizing now is some of it is actually her fault. As I laid in bed last night falling asleep, looking over at her watching tv, I realized she is boring as fuck. She would rather sit on the couch and read a book, finger fuck her phone or watch a show about someone else living their life, than live a life with me.

If I said "let's sit at the kitchen table and play cards and have a beer" or "let's sit out in the back yard and talk as we watch the stars". Never. She needs couch time after the kids go to sleep. How the fuck can I be fun when she goes full on bitch at the idea of getting a sitter and going out for a couple hours? She actively situates herself in positions where quality time spent is next to impossible. Especially if these are situations where I'm going to escalate.

It's not even just about sex. There is never any emotion. I'm a very passionate guy. When I kiss her, she either pecks and turns away or moves to a hug. 10 second kiss is impossible. If she catches herself getting lost in her feelings to me, she immediately goes into shell mode. It's getting real hard to try to game a woman who most likely won't ever be attracted to me. She was trying but it's not natural to her, so she is falling back into her old ways.

I'm not victim puking. I'm not a victim. I simply married and had 3 kids with a woman who hates having fun, hates people, is better than everyone and is lazy (straight into pajamas the second she realizes she isn't leaving the house again). It's my fault. My choice and I'm really starting to real the writing was on the wall and I chose wrong.

Wow that's fuckin pathetic when I re read it, but I'll hit send anyway.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Women are funny creatures. They have no idea what the fuck they want.

I find it funny, mine hated so many things, which are now the greatest thing ever... once She sees some IOIs from other women, a slimer waistline from me, or being put in her place with my 'stern face'. I will attribute lots of it from not being in Montreal, aka Canadas Tiajuana

If she was a guy, she would be one of those ones on askTRP, who 'hate the bars' but wouldn't pick up in there if their life depended on it. It's the one Law of Power I prefer the reversal to it's rule:

Disdain that which you cannot have.

It's as if whatever life rut you want to get in, you have to love that, and hate anything better. Fucking self sabotage bullshit.

</rant>

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women are funny creatures. They have no idea what the fuck they want.

I'll file most people under that category. In general, people live pretty boring lives, which is why when someone offers a more interesting alternative, most people will join. Not many people want to lead, but lots of people are willing to follow.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

You think I'm from Montreal?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

We both hated the city. It's Also Canadas Venesuela, corruption and socialism, paid for by federal transfers.

At the end, we were isolated in our condo (which was fucking sweet) drinking at our rooftop pool. You shouldn't have to hide from where you live, so the move made a big impact in both our QOL

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Montreal is cool to visit. Not to live though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Hence why I call it Canadas Tiajuana.

So long as you don't have to put in on paying for what Montreal offers, it's great. Probably why students and Toronto visitors love it so much

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

When the Sens beat the Habs out next round. Then Leafs in the conference final. Finally to take the Cup from the Oilers, we will have our day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Fucking Habs. I never watch hockey, but had to follow them like a hawk. Everytime they had a game, I was blocked from driving out of my condo.

I was the only one in town who rooted for them to drop out of the playodds.

Of course, now that I live in TO, I can fully embrace hating the leafs, and a newfound appreciation for the Jays

Wait....

Oilers have the cup? Say it isn't so! My boys are coming home!

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

No. But a cup final between 2 Canadian teams would be amazing. Especially if it was the Sens.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol, ottawa has a team?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Red army unite

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 5 points6 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

at the end of the day, I'll fully admit it's hard to be a good boyfriend to a lame duck girlfriend. after explaining the girlfriend, wife, mother/boyfriend, husband, father concept - my conversation went down something like this

"wife, you're a great mother and wife, but you're not putting in anywhere near as much effort to be the girlfriend. it's not an accusation, it's simply a fact.

i haven't put in as much effort to be a good boyfriend either. i'm going to revisit and make changes there. to me, it's important that we put effort into all three. if our relationship is going to work long term, needs to have some of all three."

she got it right away. it makes perfect logical sense. and there's lots of reasons that it becomes very hard and they're all perfectly valid. doesn't mean it's acceptable. but i knew shed get it because i know she cares enough to put in the effort.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I get a vibe off mine that she would like me to end it so she could succumb to a laziness without expectation.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think mine has an inkling of this in her as well but it's more like she wants ME to stop improving so she can succumb to laziness in our relationship. I think if I hit her with exit plan papers, she would not be relieved or happy, at least at first.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

sometimes it's more charitable to shoot that wounded animal in the back of the head - or so I'm told.

you got a good lawyer + paperwork + exit strategy?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'll cross that bridge when I need to. I have talked to a lawyer and have a loose exit strategy ready. It would be in her best interest to go legal separation and she knows this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

you'll find your DGAF and OI is correlated with the depth of your exit strategy.

It doesn't get talked about enough, but that detachment is vital I found in implementing a MAP

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yep. I've been researching exit strategy options. My next step is to talk to a professional about what I'd be on the hook for in a worst case scenario where we can't do an amicable. If I run the numbers through the calculators I've found, it's not pretty. But each piece of data I get makes me more comfortable with the idea if and when it happens.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yup. I did one, worst case scenario. Didn't seem that bad, so I knew the worst case was liveable.

then you're not bluffing, you've accepted the risk, and can now set your terms

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's my goal: to get my mind in comfortable spot with this. I really don't think I'd be facing a worst case scenario. I've spoken with a few guys here and done a lot of research and amicable divorces are actually the norm, not the exception. It's also possible I was running the number wrong because well, I'm not a lawyer or an accountant.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

See, to anyone looking...

THIS IS A MAP.

To be comfortable in the worst case scenario in life. It's easily distilled to a sentance, and you can use it as a guide when navigating the rest of your decisions.

Case in point, mine is 'never to be taken for granted/advantage of again'. It's simple, abstract enough, but you can use it to means test every decision in your life.

It's also something you can work with, and not bullshit yourself over.

If he is comfortable in the worst outcome, it's binary. Can't bullshit if you're miserable, and pretend you're not.

If the choice is on filing or attempting to work it out, is he comfortable if she isn't working? (SAHM usually get paid better) maybe she does work, and it gives maybe 20% less alimony/child support payments? If thats the difference between squalor and a normal life, then yes, he could be comfortable.

but the key is this. HE KNOWS that he can live with the concequences of his actions.

Frees a lot of cycles for finishing his mission

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

aka the come to jesus speech.

I found the exact same. If you're in a position to lead, just giving a narrative for her to base decisions on can be enough.

And I'm sure in the back of a womans mind, the fact that you either get on the Trump Train, or get stuck with Hillary factors in as well.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've thought of having some form of this "come to Jesus" talk now that I've been hitting the "improvement bag" (copyright 2guns) for a year and a half but I'm not there yet and I just don't think she'd respond well, hence I continue to STFU and proceed with actions. I would imagine a talk like this falls somewhere before the FMoFY speech unless you're just using it as a minor "course correction" with a women who does want to put in effort, like it seems to be in your case.

She knows from my actions that I often don't think she's "cutting it" on the girlfriend front so perhaps the talk isn't even necessary. And perhaps she would care to put in the effort if she truly knew how close I am to considering alternatives the more I get the "just enough not to get fired" effort.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've written on posts on when to talk vs. when to shut up.

The main point being that talk when it's congruent to your person - that it matches exactly the persona you've become. Actions only go so far, at some point the dissonance needs resolution.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember the post you refer to. Something has always not sat 100% well with me about the hard and fast STFU rule and you've aptly described it, prescribed when it's appropriate to "resolve the dissonance," and how to execute it. Thanks. Got a lot out of this post.

[–]tim_rp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can see value in me having this conversation with my wife...at some point in the future. It's very non-threatening and very easy to understand.

The subtext is powerful - "you tick two of three boxes, keep doing what you're doing if you want but the third one will be ticked elsewhere".

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

As I laid in bed last night falling asleep, looking over at her watching tv, I realized she is boring as fuck.

Describing my wife, but I can at least get a 10 second kiss in. But there's no passion in it. And when I break it off, it feels like she put just enough into that kiss to keep the passion (lack thereof) at the level it's been for the past 12 years. 12 years, I discussed with myself this morning. 12 years and how many nights have I fallen asleep wondering about her. 10 of them were my fault...but I cannot allow another 10 to be hers. It's funny...what is the speech women use when men are boring? I love you, but I'm not in love with you? I now know how it feels to want to give that speech.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Here's the thing though. Most women are boring as fuck. Even the ones I meet now, a smile and laughing at my jokes are about as interesting as they get. One of my SO's co workers actually led with her ability to spreadsheet.. I kid you fucking not.

Fucking spreadsheet, the national flag of aspieland

And no shame over the fact a prairie boy has cooked more samosas than a 27 year old East indian girl.

It's like having play dough. You can have a lump of shit, or a wonderful design...

Women are as shitty as you let them be

Yeah, a lot of the time its as if you are dragging women kicking and screaming into being interesting, but fuck, if you haven't accepted this burden of performance, then you haven't taken the pill.

[–]gettingmymojobackMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The burden of performance means hard work. Hard work is hard. Most people don't like working hard. It's far easier to be lazy, and wonder why no one wants to fuck you.

That's really what it all comes down to. Work hard and be someone women actually want to fuck. I wish I hadn't had to take the long road to get to this realization.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most women are boring as fuck.

The thought has been circling around my mind for a month or two now. Most women are boring, they may not have that drive for fun that guys do, and it's just a mindset I have to kill. But It's countered a lot with the thought: "there's girls that come out and play co-ed sports, there's girls at the rock climbing gym, there's girls in the club every night. There isn't some magical division between the girl I have and the one at the club that prevents her from doing that, only her choices. So they can't all be this boring if there are some doing fun shit all the time."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, and the rock climber is probably BPD, the sporty spice is probably unable to adult in her life, burning water on the stove.

Grass is greener where you water it. At the same time, after the third year of California drought, maybe it just wants to be dead.

Theres no magic, I agree. Just a man in her life to slap some sense (metaphor) into her lethargy. Some double down on lazy, but last I checked, you don't seem to have an issue grabbing a younger and tighter model if it goes that way.

Win win really.

[–]jetpackfart0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I read spreadsheet as spread the sheets e.g. She is good in bed.

Not the same thing...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish. unfortunately = Split($leg$1,$leg$2) doesn't work on that project, keeps returning #N/A

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

just enough into that kiss

I get this a lot. I call it the "Just enough not to get fired effort," from Office Space.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lot of familiar things I'm reading here. All you can do is offer her the better life and if she'd rather sit on the couch with her phone you keep on with you're plans. Mine was extra cold and passionless this weekend. No idea why.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've noticed our situations parallel in a lot of ways.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I laid in bed last night falling asleep, looking over at her watching tv

Get the tv out of your bedroom.

Unless it's for watching porn and acting it out together.

Beds are for sleeping and fucking.

had 3 kids with a woman who hates having fun

Sure hope you got your vasectomy and aren't going to have kid four.

I read everything you wrote. You can still be awesome fun dad, and do fun dad things without her along. Leave her at home in her pajamas, and take the kids camping or on a vacation, or whatever.

And strongly consider having a sex life of your own, independent of your wife.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get the tv out of your bedroom....Beds are for sleeping and fucking

As much as I fully agree with this, she would never have it. As much as I make the decisions, this would simply be too much for her. She has watched tv in bed for the whole 12 years we've been together.

Sure hope you got your vasectomy and aren't going to have kid four.

Your birth control is your responsibility. Your fuckin right I have.

You can still be awesome fun dad, and do fun dad things without her along.

Any time it involves family, she is always on it. It's the girlfriend element as we've discussed here.

And strongly consider having a sex life of your own, independent of your wife

Agreed.

Thanks man.

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Hey just curious, do you always ask her if she wants to go out or do you just book a sitter and tell her you're going? And if she doesn't want to, do you go out anyway since you wanted to?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

The last 2 times I did,she cancelled the sitter and stayed home with the kids. One of the times I even said "if I come home with you, will you stay up and hang out or go to bed?". She said she won't be staying up, so I went with my original plan solo. She made sure to try and play it out as me doing things while she stayed in with the kids though.

It's not the going out thing. It's the not giving me her all, not even close to her all that bothers me.

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Out of 10, what are you and what is she? You're early 30's right? How about weight, how overweight are you and her?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Maybe she is a litte prettier facially. By a fraction at best. My body is considerably better than hers though.

Her: body 4, face 8 Me: body 8, face 7

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Safe to assume she is obese and you are fit? For you to be an 8 body, you're pretty shredded right?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

She isn't obese, just out of shape from babies. She doesn't gain weight, but she could lose some.

I wouldn't say shredded, but pretty tight. Maybe a 7 by your standards I guess.

What's your point?

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Getting there. I have followed your posts. What Dread Level are you on? There is a needle in this haystack.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Had some success at 7. Dabbled a little at 8. Not sure where I want to take it from here yet.

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Okay then here is where you are. You need more success at 7 and for her to witness that success (which is 8). Otherwise she still sees you as a chump. Wife will either get pissed when she sees this or get major tingles. Mine gets all hot and bothered. I have a feeling yours will get pissed. She flirts with your brother-in-law. Flirt with girls in front of her bro. I have a feeling you're not there yet. Get there.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

since the carrot isn't working w.r.t babysitter, what is the stick?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't like FMoFY. Probably just get a girlfriend since she is really good wife/mother.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I didn't say FMoFY. I asked what is the stick? There's 4 ways of operant conditioning and encouraging behavioral change. How are you applying these techniques to your situation?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm struggling to. They all prove to have little affect on her. The most I can take on her is time, which she doesn't give a fuck about. To add something shitty makes no sense to me. What would you recommend?

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't know you. I don't know your wife.

What is your value add to your wife and her life? Are you adding value there? If so, what aspects of that can you take away? Are you willing to do it? If she's not willing to play the role of girlfriend, do you know what the consequences going forward are going to be? If you do, does she? If you know the path forward, can you actually execute it? e.g. if you're going to get a girlfriend, can you actually do it? because if you can't - everyone's going to laugh at your credibility. do you know the cost of the path you want to take? e.g. if you get a gf, what's that going to cost you in divorce?

what is your wife's value add to your life? if it's not very much - how much would you pay to get rid of the burden? i.e. is the monetary trade off between getting rid of her a better deal than the net value loss to your life? how much do you value sentiment? how much do you value stability?

etc. etc. etc.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's 4 ways of operant conditioning and encouraging behavioral change.

Outside of removal of time, attention and affection, is there a post or something that elaborates on this? I'm guessing one is praising/reinforcing positive behavior but am curious as to what others would apply to an LTR.

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am guessing this post triggered you?

[–]Aaren_Augustine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds very familiar.

[–]coward990 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

She would rather sit on the couch and read a book, finger fuck her phone or watch a show about someone else living their life, than live a life with me.

My wife finger fucks her phone on facebook all the fucking time. :-(

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ive thought about making a Halloween costume for my dick that looks like a cellphone. I'd think it was funnier than she would. Winning....

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I ordered my wife to delete facebook. In my mind I was willing to put the entire fucking marraige on the chop for that.

She knew I meant that when I ordered her to do it.

Facebook is shit. Absolute shit. Nothing good comes out of that vile pos. Just people bragging about crap, thirsty women and men looking for attention, and miserable people looking to escape into imagining other people's life highlights (whose life is otherwise crap).

There is abolsutely nothing good out of it.

[–]coward991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A friend of mine broke up with his wife and facebook was a HUGE part of it. The irony is that now he is an admin for a 10,000 strong group and is always posting shit about his life and how awesome he is on facebook.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

:-(

Lose that shit.

[–]gettingmymojobackMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that a lot of the reasons for the types of problems we see leading men to MRP is falling into the trap of believing that marriage in fact allows one to fall into Easy Mode rather than the correct realization that it is in fact Hard Mode.

Pre-RP we are conditioned to believe that once we have "won" the girl the hard part is now over when in fact it has just begun. While we (men in general) may become great husbands and fathers, the majority of the time it's easy to lose sight that what "won" the girl in the first place was the Boyfriend. We kill that guy and then wonder what went wrong.

My own past experience was one where I firmly fell into the role of provider and felt that now things were all good, I mean what could she complain about. All her and the kids needs were taken care of, therefore I was free to let off the gas of improving myself. I was free to be lazy, I was on easy street and had it made. What could possibly go wrong?

No need to workout out, you already got the girl. No need to update you wardrobe, who do you need to impress? No need to stay on top of hygiene (haircuts,shaving, manscaping), she's seen you at your worst, social life...what for, you're tired and don't have time for that, gaming her and dates, that's what "date night" is for every 3rd week right?

Looking back it's not hard to see what absolutely kills attraction. For most men I would venture to say that it's the Boyfriend persona that is first to go and most sorely lacking. I'd say it's also the most crucial element in maintaining attraction. No woman wants to fuck a fat, boring, unattractive man.

Hard Mode, you bet your ass it's Hard Mode but like most things in life it's doing the hard things that bring the most reward. If you don't do the work now, do you really deserve any different outcome in the future?

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

hard mode for sure. There are things my snowflake just won't let go nor forget. And her feminism is so deeply rooted I would have to take a better man then I to remove it.

her wife duties have been outsourced.

If you are single and plating you can just ghost or let the plate smash saying

well...That didn't go as planned.

then start over with a new girl, each time getting better and better. The wife, LTR? not so much.

As WAS points out she's seen you at your worst. Maybe she can move on maybe she can't. Doesn't matter. You have a mission in life and need achieve it regardless of her involvement.

This is the DGAF attitude you need.

It's all bullshit next to that.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

If your pussy gets smashed by a train, are you ready to be on the open market ?

Seriously.

A couple of days ago a single friend of my wife told her that she shouldn't worry about me being alone very long if something happens to her while traveling. Kind of like she had a superhero suit on and said "Fuck Athon On !!!!" I'm still hurting

Bf attractive in all stages and theaters of your life. Look at it like this - you got one chance to impress. Do it right all the time Invest in yourself. Be the best you possible

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Wish my wife had a friend like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think this is part of the reason getting her out of the house and to events, and developing your social ability to flirt and game are important. If you can get her out there, and you (as your natural self) are social and game and DHV, she will react because others will react. Her easiest defense is to not go out, thus she can never experience this.

Is there some subconscious thing going on in her mind where she resists going out, knowing that she may feel threatened by you being social? Maybe also a subconscious blue pill thought that you dont go out as much so as to save her from this feeling? Now that's a really fucking interesting thought that I have not heard discussed in RP literature so far.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Is there some subconscious thing going on in her mind where she resists going out, knowing that she may feel threatened by you being social?

It's possible. I am definitely the more social of us. We have fun in party settings and I do my thing and occasionally there's subtle flirting from other girls but it's like we get home and I'm just not getting that "dread effect." Maybe it needs to be more overt like /u/screechhater's wife's friend bluntly telling her that screech would be with other women quickly if he was single. I'd kill for a "dread softball" like that now if for no other reason than to test for a sign of life from the ol' hamster in her female brain. It's like the hamster died.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You got 60 days of dread over at MRP. Get going.

When you look at Owning Your Shit, stand back and take stock. What does JD touch ? What does JD literally own, wear to work ? How much does JD lielterally really take pride in every aspect of his life ?

So I'm at a reception for a friend, khakis, loafers a crisp white pressed shirt and clean white crew cut white t. Belt matches color of shoes exactly. Many eyes were on me as I walked in. Women and men both. This was a casual event. I was dressed casual to a t. With some conservancy but sans the tie.

Drive up to screech's house, looks like a cover on Midwest Living. Daughter breaks up with boyfriend, Screech gets chocolate on way home and lets daughter cry on shoulder in the drive. Many neighbors see and all of daughters friends and their moms see, Screech has a good bond with daughter. Obviously takes pride in relationship.

Got it ??? It'll come. 60 DOD. Own Your Shit. Physically. Mentally and materially possession wise

Got it JD ? She will revel in the comment when they come. Just don't expect a verbal validation. Got it ?

Get to it, JD

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Got it

Edit: but can I replace the crew neck with a v-neck t?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's up to you. Just don't comb your chest hairs over the top. LOL.

Own whatever you do

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha, i keep the chest hair fairly trim so no problem there. I was just being a dick. I appreciate the insight. Makes sense

Overall I'm usually one of the best dressed at social events. So tired of seeing dudes in golf tees or athletic shorts

[–]BadassRPMofo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can fuck up with a plate and just hit the reset. Hard Mode requires you to be much more adept at manning up and handling your shit on a daily basis. Personally, I relish the challenge I make to myself every single day to be a better, more badass me.

Another thing to consider is how much more is involved if/when you decide to hit the eject button. As a boyfriend, you can just walk away. As a husband/father you can still walk away, but it requires more planning/capital, particularly if there are kids and/or joint property and investments to deal with. In other words, running away from shit is not as easy.

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Hard mode for me personally is my wife has lived with my lazy beta ass for more years than she cares to remember.

She can't unsee some shit, so it is hard mode is to kill all signs of that passive chump.

[–]Westernhagen0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

She can't unsee some shit, so it is hard mode is to kill all signs of that passive chump.

You can always try the Marilyn Monroe quote on her: "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." =)

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

fact, this only works for women. sorry

[–]Westernhagen0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You get that I was joking, right? Hence the smiley.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Little slow I am today

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've got husband and father in the bag. Mostly always have but as you point out those only prevent you from being unattractive. They don't build attraction as they are mostly beta traits. When balanced with solid "boyfriend/alpha game it's the full package. Husband game was always pretty on point then after I found this place i fine tuned a few aspects of my husband game that were lacking.

Boyfriend game has improved but the big question is whether she gives a shit or even wants that. I give the wife an A in wife, an A- in mother and a C- in girlfriend.

EDIT: Changed last "wife" to "girlfriend"

[–]Aaren_Augustine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hard Mode seems to be an accurate description with someone who still has wife goggles on (blue mindset).

Even 60 days of dread might have initial success, but unless you are doing this for you, wife's going to catch on to the fact youre just playing dress up with your faggoty self

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boyfriend - C Husband- B+ Father - B+

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (83 children) | Copy Link

I tried my best to read this without prejudice. I tried hard to have a balanced view. I thought hard... hmm the guy is right with his advice like 80% of the time, even though I think he has a small penis and high levels of verbal aggression... then I realised, this guy has overwhelmingly more theory than practice (unless we are talking beta practice like being a "total schlub and loser") which he seems to have down pat.

So basically just discard this trashy beta advice in it's entirety if you want a satisfying relationship. Read my posts on how to have an "easy" LTR if you want an easy LTR. Notice how OP thinks LTRs are hard? I don't, I think they are easy. If you have at least average sized testicles it should not even require that much theory. So to anyone who has wasted their time reading this beta PUA vomit, look up my posts in this order, Screening, LTRs on easy mode (Parts one and part 2). Do not bother reading any of the posts if you have not implemented the TRP sidebar.

Now I am not stupid. I get that this shit may apply to those of you that wifed up an inferior and fucked up harpy while you were still beta. I get that you do not want to get divorce raped or lose access to your kids (have no doubt that the courts, the police, the media and society at large are against you). However if you want a happy relationship it is not that hard. Implement the TRP sidebar. Stick to your mission and the rest will follow. If you need more detailed advice, then my 1,2,3 guide is in my post history, Screening and Easy LTRs 1&2. I am sorry you had to read the above post to get here, but at least you know the way forward now.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is this you amog'ing? It's cute.

I remember your easy LTR post. I agree that everyone should read it. Maybe the people reading it will notice all the "wtf is wrong with you" style comments on both MRP and TRP.

From what I can tell, you're an unmarried 50 something trying to spin plates and getting off on validation from teens in TRP. I'm glad it gets you off. That's not what I'd want to be doing when I'm 50, but hey, you do you.

The point of this post was to remind the guys that it's important to also be the person that attracted their wives in the first place. Too bad you missed it.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Feels more like a hard sell.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not AMOGing. The core of my post was that LTRs should be easy and not hard. My stand on this is the idea that "you have to work hard on a relationship" is a blue pill theory. You hear mainstream (blue pill) advice all the time in relationships sub, mainstream media that relationships are hard. Well I think that if a relationship is hard it is best to end it. My LTRs have been easy, joyful and fun. I am in an LTR now.

I did the spinning plates/ ONS thing for a few years in between my LTRs. I like LTRs, in TRP that is my speciality (along with pointing out women are manipulative little kids). I think LTRs are ultimately more satisfying and natural. Life is just easier when you have a supportive and loving partner to enjoy life with. Plus raising kids single is hard but satisfying work. You want to try life on hard mode then try being a single dad.

So no it is not an attempt to AMOG you. I disagree with both the premise of your post, and the advice supplied. It is also kind of fun to antagonise and trigger you as you were such an ass to me when I started here, and you are often an ass to others. I still think most of what you say makes sense, but on the topic of LTRs, we disagree.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (36 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your service. Your sacrifice has been noted.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (35 children) | Copy Link

As usual I have no idea what you mean? I am assuming it is some military thing, well I am a businessman and lawyer so no apologies from me for failing to get your drift. Res ipsa loquitor

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (34 children) | Copy Link

That explains the ego.

Point is, you're not contributing, you've both laid out how important you think you are, and made sure ALL of us know who you don't like, clearly trying to AMOG the guy on some random shit.

It's a valueless post, and only exists to stroke your ego. Of course, being endorsed TRP, it means you know what Rule 0 is. So my only question, are you here for rule 0, or are you here to have sword fights with your dick?

You may be king shit of pussy mountain, if you're not useful to anyone reading your stuff...

And in my typical snarky way, I made light of your amazing sacrifice in demeaning yourself to both read and respond to content on MRP, with the common empty rhetoric of 'thank you for your service'

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Yes I do not like WMP, he has called me a bitch, faggot, retarded and suggested I am only posting for validation from teenagers on many occasions. He does not acknowledge that I give a damn about guys who are suffering or that I write to help people out. To him I am just an old "bitch". If he treated me with some respect then I would do the same.

I am not king shit of anything, except my businesses and my family, and my kids are too young to acknowledge any of that so I am just "daddy get me this" for now. WMP has attacked me at every turn and tried to pigeonhole me. I do not like his style. I love LTRs so I write about them to suit the larger TRP crowd. When I try to clarify, he calls me bitch again. So what is the right move here? I am open to suggestions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy Link

Eh, I thought about it, then I was looking back at my spats with jacktenofhearts last year.

Disregard, I'm being a douche here, you guys will figure it out.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

You and Jack were dealing with issues on differences of interpretation.

88WILL88's issues are completely ego-driven (read as: insecurity coupled with validation denial). I was mean to him so he is now salty.

Shit, I was mean to you too and pretty much everyone else.

I've got a bit of a thing for picking on guys with huge ego and little frame.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Don't understand the age thing. I've straight up called you a punk in your own AMA-style post and somehow your frame survived.

ZFG isn't just for the bitches.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

shit, you said something mean about me and i missed it?

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My point exactly.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

"88WILL88s issues are completely ego driven".

Now this sort of blanket comment is why I am salty. I think some of my theory posts are pretty solid, so does the readership here and in TRP. Yeah, I go off half cocked when someone in the comments calls me bitch, victim, weak, faggot, I have always been like that with guys. Like Chuck Pahlaniuk said in fight club "it is amazing how easy it is for two angry guys to find each other when they want a fight" (paraphrasing).

With women and kids I never lose frame. With guys, I do not even consider it loosing frame, if a guy comes at me, physically or verbally then I am all in until the conflict is resolved. There are two sorts of professional fighters, the hot tempered (Connor McGregor, Nick Diaz) amd the ice cold guys (Chuck Liddell, Anderson Silva). You find the same traits in lawyers and politicians, so guess which type we are?

If you want to criticise my writing then stick to the writing rather than ad hominem attacks and I am happy to oblige. However if you want to just keep up like a broken record "he is an insecure old guy who needs validation" then we are going to have at it. You accuse me of having ego issues and then go on to boast about how you enjoy being a keyboard warrior who likes to troll angry guys. Try that shit out IRL and see how long you last.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Try that shit out IRL and see how long you last.

Did you seriously go keyboard warrior?

You have zero frame if a cunt on the internet tilts you, you stupid stupid cunt. What exactly are you going to do? Do you think anyone here actually believes you're a lawyer or business owner?

You find the same traits in lawyers and politicians, so guess which type we are?

You're a 50 year old with kids who doesn't have a marriage - but somehow has kids. You think people are too stupid to read between the lines of your "easy ltr" posts? Even the TRP teens are smart enough to go "what the fuck is wrong with you" in your post. Do you think it's a surprise that people are calling out your gigantically obvious insecurity?

It's obvious as day that you need to be controlling because you have no control, no leadership capabilities. Did your kids just accidentally popped out of nowhere from one of your random LTRs? Nah, I bet your marriage failed for the same reason that you fail on the internet. You probably get triggered over the stupidest fucking things and take any negativity or criticism in the worst way.

You're a 50 year old who gets upset because some asshole writes mean things and generalizes about you. You have no frame. And did you really compare yourself to world class fighters? Really?

With guys, I do not even consider it loosing frame, if a guy comes at me, physically or verbally then I am all in until the conflict is resolved

L O L. You are the stupidest cunt I've ever met. Everyone's a world class MMA fighter on the internet I guess.

If you actually took any interest in self improvement, instead of jerking yourself off to other people's validation, you'd stop in by the mirror and see how fucking fragile your ego is. Because lets be honest, your writing is total bullshit. It's rationalization your own failures and why you're so happy to view yourself as a victim and women as the bully.

Why don't you stop bullshitting around and make a nice lengthy post about why your marriage failed, why your kids don't actually appreciate you, and your general fucking upings while trying to husband?

"Spinning plates is easier."

Of course it is for your plates. Once they find out how weak you are, it's a lot easier to drop you. You can hamster that however you want.

However if you want to just keep up like a broken record "he is an insecure old guy who needs validation" then we are going to have at it.

What the does this even mean? Does this mean you're gonna keep coming at me with exactly zero substance? Do you think I actually think about you at all?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Hahahaha. Now who is the easily triggered bitch?? You have upped the ante from faggot to cunt, and not just any cunt, but a stupid, stupid cunt. Hahaha. You are right, I am not really a lawyer or father or businessman, I am just some weird dude in a basement seeking validation and arguments online. My kids are a figment of my imagination and so is everything I have ever done in my life. Now that you have made me introspect so deeply I have realised the truth!! I never got married or had kids or went to law school, my parents were actually simulations in the video game I have been playing, and I only play this game on the lowest cuntiest of cunt levels.

It's all coming back to me now, even my participation in this sub is a lie! I just needed to get my validation score up from zero online imaginary credits to 10 so that I could upgrade from cuntiest of all cunts level and start playing on bitchy, weak faggot victim level.

I have had detailed conversations with other guys in here about my marriage and career, but I see no need to educate you, or share any details of my life other than the fact that it is all made up for internet validation. The only difference between you and bloopers is that they troll in their own little hate sub, while you lurk around here like a sheep in wolves clothing and call people on askMRP faggots in response to their earnest questions.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you guys will figure it out.

yes, let the male social hierarchy work itself out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

worry less about an indivudual voice, and remember that if you post here, drop the bravado and superficial language of TRP.

IMO if the guys here were single, ( old ones, not new ones) - we would all look at the issues of the main sub and just kind of giggle a bit.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

88Will88's DEERing may be the best thing I've seen on MRP this week. That me, some random jackass, can wreck his shit so hard by doing so little is amazing. Ironically, it's usually poser newbies who get wrecked the hardest - not poser 50 year old RED PILL ENDORSED CONTRIBUTORs.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

Yet people go on and on about how tight their frame game is.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

You should see the pms.

http://imgur.com/a/yHIQE

Edit: couple of follow ups - http://imgur.com/a/yhlLC

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are something special man. One thread, 130+ comments, many many controversial comments.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

everyone loves a good shit show.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good post. Your clear-headedness is refreshing. Too bad he who was

invited to cross post in this sub because he thought bitches like you could learn a bit of the pimp hand relationship strategy that I teach.

was so lacking in discernment as to be incapable of appreciating it. You know what I always say about lawyers. Thanks for the post, and the show.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

glad you enjoyed the show. i'm just a facilitator. 88WILL88 is the star.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

yea similar thing happened. Will say this: TRP sub ec'd seem less and less red these days. Maybe its just that I don' t need the reach around like they seem to. .

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

i don't disagree.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

lol. Don't lawyer this up man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

Is there any actual criticism or discussion in your comment, though? I've read this a few times and all I really see is that you don't like the post. I have to admit the "hard mode" thing makes me reflexively uneasy, too. And I agree somewhat with a lot of your easy-mode LTR advice. Particularly that the goals of vetting LTR should be finding Slack and that if you're in a hard LTR you're just... doing LTR wrong.

OP's general premise does makes sense: LTRs have more exposure to each other. Not to get all 'just be yourself' but to the extent that PUA is putting on a performance, if the relationship doesn't move past that to a more relaxed state that would become exhausting and miserable. And I can see why someone would call that sort of thing "hard mode".

The difference in my mind is to what extent you use PUA methods to achieve initial attraction that are eventually replaced with more intimate bonds vs relying on PUA entirely. Realistically, a plate only needs to see the ONS or boyfriend roles. So if you're putting on a performance a few days a week that's not too bad. Few hours a week whatever. It can even be escapist. But if your LTR is based on a performance it's going to wear you out and that sort of hard mode just--life's to short for that shit.

Now you yourself have a preference for very dominant relationships and your advice reflects that. That style is easy for you. But I think the general principle that you should seek an easy LTR and not struggle with hard LTRs is pretty sound.

I also agree with OP that in LTR there are expanded roles (lover, boyfriend, husband, father) and all sorts of opportunities to drop balls. But I see that as opportunity. It's very easy to find areas to improve and prove your value in the relationship. That's not stuff you have access to in ONS or PUA situations and I think that's a pretty big advantage. All your self-improvement is visible and observable to your LTR in ways that are not visible to ONS. But getting lost in thinking it's "hard mode" to justify suffering is just stupid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (38 children) | Copy Link

Ask not for a lighter load, but broader shoulders

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (37 children) | Copy Link

All things being equal, you would choose to LTR the more difficult of two women?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (36 children) | Copy Link

Well, I like a little fight, but just enough to keep interesting.

I'd pick a 5 over a 2, but gladly accept a 3 over an 8 (in fight)

Even lions like their meal to struggle a bit

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

What is good for you aint necessarily good for the weak minded ;)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

It's like some JFK-level bullshit in here.

We choose to LTR, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win.

Hey, if you want to make LTR/marriage the great challenge and mission of your life, feel free to go all George Mallory on it. Not sure how that's something supported by the sidebar, but knock yourself out. I don't equate having a satisfying LTR with some fantastical feat like going to the moon or climbing Everest, but hey who'm I to judge. And I certainly have never heard people measure their relationships in terms of difficulty.

A: "My wife is the absolute worst but I rise to the challenge and make it work, I'm totally winning at life!"
B: "I wish I had that!"

...a conversation that never happens.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

Oh boy, I cannot confirm that. What social circles are you living in where blue pill men are not complaining about their wifes and are happy about it?

I have legit heard the whole "My wife is a total controlling bitch who I wish was dead but I love her more than anything". Also have heard people talking about wishing they had a girlfriend like someone else or a trophy wife. Legit "I wish my wife was all lovey dovey like that" or the ever classic "I need to ask the boss before I can go to drinks with the fellas".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

Of all the divorces I have witnessed (about six), exactly none of them went from pleasant wife to 'total controlling bitch'.

And I have literally never heard those sentences spoken with sincerity. "My wife is a total controlling bitch who I wish was dead but I love her more than anything" is what you think blue pill men hold up as an ideal marriage? That's what they seek? That's what guys say when they feel trapped. When I've heard things like "I wish my wife was all lovey dovey like that" it's either sarcastic and meant as sympathy or the lead in to an even more horrific story. "I need to ask the boss before I can go to drinks with the fellas" is such a socially-acceptable throwaway that it means almost nothing without context. A lot of people use it as an excuse to call the wife to tell her about the change of plans or it's an excuse because they don't want to hang out.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Here I'll break you in:

My wife is a somewhat horrible person, racist, sexist, homophobic, and is about 50/50 of adding value in my life but she tries to make our family better and I love her for that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've seen it go both ways on them going out, but you're right, it was never a 'suddenly bitch' moment.

Usually, she controlled or spent all the money, so he HAD to ask her out.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

And I have literally never heard those sentences spoken with sincerity.

someday you need to give some honest description of your profession or social circle . . . because I have heard all that shit a lot

are you like a british royal?

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I need to ask the boss

fuck I hear that exact same thing so much, and it never looses it's cringeworthy

I will admit to having descended to the depths of pussy McFaggot; but I have never once referred to or have thought of my wife as the boss . . . probably a correlation with never DB

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

pussy McFaggot

I had a few times when I was making plans with people and ( usually women) would say something like " Ah, you got to check with the boss, I understand-" and a wink.

my favorite was when I would respond with something like "NO" or with a really confused condescending facial expression "whattaya taalkin about?"

better yet was when I said "No , I just have to tell her what to wear, bless her heart"

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well pikadildo kind of missed the point on that. Most are actually saying that AND checking with the wife. I did that, wouldn't want to upset her schedule for me.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy Link

this is something I have relearned with plates. dumb women are insufferably boring. if a girl doesn't have some fight and throw me a good shit test I loose all interest after the first fuck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

Funny, 200k single guys in RP, and takes a married guy relearning plates to start to internalize 'appreciate them for what they are'

Imagine the mental leap a lot of new guys have to take, when they realize the gift their bitching wives are giving them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

problem is, their exposure to women is mostly in their heads. ours is daily, hours at a time.

The seen and not heard, but heard only if something interesting to say definitely applies here. For them, they are struggling to get to the "seen" part.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

It's why I like some of the OMG (old married guys) in there, like Uncle Vas, Matty, and vengefully yours... Granted, a lot of them read like a jaded cop going through the motions, but they definitely don't see the code anymore.

I guess it's typical male, ego driven learning. We have to learn the hard way, because older people don't know how great I am, and their advice is because they are old men, not smart men.

After a few thumps to the nuts, they start listening.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

See, I like the old single guys, matty, vas, if they write well.

but their advice often boils down to "its easy, be me, and have done X".

I am neither young enough to change some things, and too old to be hero blinded. Faggots, faggots everywhere.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

yep, just like I said the other day . . . plates have pretty much killed any resentment I had towards wife

on the downside, I have also been re-aquainted with some solid girlfriend game and wife falls way short

on the upside, last night was the third in a row where she wakes me up at midnight with my dick in her hand. wtf . . . is there a GF training class I can send her to?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

They always knew how to handle a dick, all they need is motivation.

Luckily, you are the teacher. Wait until the day she sneaks a peak at your porn collection to see what you're into... That one can be fun (so long as you're not into some super crazy shit, then maybe not, or?)

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol , all my porn is Asian . She has that covered. And yes she is totally down with race play

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I should have spelled out my objections without the ad hominem. Your explanation us much better than mine.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you have a major blinder on to the word "hard".

would you agree to "more intricate" or "more complex"

because saying that ltr's are easy is like saying law school is easy. Or being successful with a law degree is easy.

Dude was saying that the man should recognize that there are more things that need doing in a marriage than in an ltr, then while dating.

Whats wrong with a concept of "more interaction requires more work"?

[–]SirAttackHelicopter-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

OP needs to stop redefining words. This post is just an opinion on relationships, and it is quite contrary to most people's views. Most people say relationships get easier as you stay in it longer. Because the converse is absolutely true: a relationship is NOT real within the first year.

[–]gettingmymojobackMRP APPROVED8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

When you think it's getting easier, it's because your sliding into complacency and beta comfort. Fuck that shit. Never again.

[–]SirAttackHelicopter-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

No, you can figure someone out better if you know them better. This isn't about beta or alpha bullshit. But if you wanna analyze 'beta' in this context, then it is much harder for a beta as time goes on in a relationship because they become less and less satisfied and less and less sure of themselves. Because living a life of a beta is living a lie.

[–]gettingmymojobackMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You may understand them better but that is beyond my point.

What's easy is falling into a life of comfort. In believing the lie of unconditional love. Fuck that. We all have conditions, it's just considered politically incorrect to say it out loud.

It's easy to believe that because you've "won" the girl that she'll always be there for you regardless of what you do. It's easy to let yourself go. It's easy not to put any effort in your appearance. It's easy to stop gaming her. It's easy to fall into the same wake, work, tv or video games, and sleep routine. It's easy to lose yourself and the man you were because you're just lazy and she's your Oneitis. Fuck it, you don't need to work hard anymore.

What's hard is staying out of that trap. The longer the relationship goes, the stronger it's call becomes. What's hardest is digging out of it, and rebuilding into a better man. There is no easy way. There is no comfort in being "good enough", in saying fuck it I'm going to skip just one workout today, I'm going to have that 3rd helping of ribs, I'm too tired to go out tonight, we'll just stay in....

You want to believe it gets easier go ahead.

I've seen where easy got me and it's somewhere I chose to never return.

TLDR: Lift and be attractive, never take the easy way out.

[–]SirAttackHelicopter-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So... your point is either alpha vs beta or black vs red or winning vs losing or some other childish shit. And then you logically imply that if you fall into the beta/loser/red category, you are lazy and don't lift. This is completely comically wrong.

Dude. This isn't even on topic. We are discussing how much more easier it is to manage a girl you know for months/years compared to a girl you met last night.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

We are discussing how much more easier it is to manage a girl you know for months/years compared to a girl you met last night.

You and 88Will88 seem to be coming from the same place which is perplexing a lot of guys around here because it is very counter to most everyone's experience. That doesn't necissarily mean it's wrong; just counter intuitive.

I have read 88's series and I would sum it up as pick a RPW and live deep,deep red. IRL I have seen this work for short periods of time (i.e. few years) with high SMV women; and forever with very low SMV women. I don't have any examples of this "easy mode" working for a long, long time with a high value woman.

Few months ago ex_addict_bro went on jihad about how LTR past 3-7 years was suicide mode because of biology. I am wondering if you and 88 are serial-LTR's or have been with a single woman for more than 10 years, and succeeded in your own view?

As always I will admit my projection and supposition may be a reflection of my own failures.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LTR past 3-7 years was suicide mode

made me wonder. If we are bored by the same pussy acting the same way after X time, and they are bored by the same experience with the same provider of feelz after X time... how to optimize feelz quotient.

If only there was a sub for that.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Most people say relationships get easier as you stay in it longer.

who in the fuck says that?

[–]SirAttackHelicopter-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Because as you get to know someone more, you know how they tick. Fucking simple.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol , how they tick changes a lot over time

[–]SirAttackHelicopter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And your perception doesn't? Trust me on this one. People don't change that quickly over time. Not unless you're a player. And you shouldn't be fooling around with that crowd to begin with. This is MRP.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People don't change that quickly over time.

agreed, but just as a glacier moves slowly it moves inexorably and maybe in a direction that does not fit with your vision.

i will own this very likely being my fault (lost opportunity) for years of betadom. doesn't change the fact that the glacier moved

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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