TheRedArchive

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108

At some point, every father should have this conversation with his boy(s):

Son,

As you are coming of age, your desire to be loved by a woman is growing. To feel the daily warmth of a woman by your side. To have and to hold. This is a natural instinct and one of the strongest ones you have. With that said, it's my responsibility to make sure you enter these interactions with a knowledge that I and very few other men have had the benefit of knowing beforehand.

I love your mother. You love your mother. Your mother loves us both, but not in the same way. You see, she loves me for the life I provide her with. My humour, my handyman capabilities, my sacrifice at work and my emotional support. She loves you as the most important thing in her life that she would do anything for.

This is very important for you to understand, because when you find a girl you want to commit to, you can't expect her to love you like mom does. In fact, if you try to make her love you like that, not only will she resent you for your weakness, she will be repulsed it.

This may seem a little harsh, but it's a reality you must accept if you want to get the most out of a relationship. That same unconditional love that you want from your girl, will be reserved for the offspring that you provide her with.

The irony to this son, is that the love you feel from mom and the love your woman will give to her children, is the same love you will need to give to your woman. She will want a leader. A strong and confident man who makes her feel safe and secure.

Furthermore, she will hate the fact that you still want that love from mom. So you will also need to cut the emotional support you get from her off as well. You need only look at the people in our lives who are mama's boys. They all live in very miserable relationships. This is because men don't need their moms love. They have already gotten all they needed in their youth. I had to find this out the hard way myself.

If you absolutely need to express some of your feelings, do it with your best friends, your brother or especially me. Never with your girl, your mom, your sister or any other female in your life. They can't tell you how to be a man. From this point on, you have joined the fraternity of masculinity.

This may sound like lonely road to travel. That's because it will be. We no longer need that emotional support. Men embrace the loneliness. We learn to accept it and thrive in it. This is where you will learn who you truly are and what you truly want out of life. It's when you realize that you don't need anyones approval to be who you want to be. This is essentially where you become a man. Believe me when I say it son, being a man who lives his life like a man, will be the best decision you ever make.

I love you son


[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Today my 7 year old boy and I were talking about one of his "girlfriends" at school, and he was asking about how many girlfriends I had before mom, and how I chose. I told him the first thing I noticed was her looks. He laughed, as if I were joking (because society says that looks don't mean anything). I told him it is true that there is so much more than looks, but as a starting point, you're an awesome kid, why would you settle for ugly girls?

I told him all the reasons I loved his mom and why I married her, and he asked how many girls I loved before her and I told him none. He laughed "you never had any other girlfriends?". I told him that I had an ocean of girls, and he will too, but there is no reason to limit yourself to one at a time, they can all be your friend, and you can play with them all, and in time you MIGHT find one you can consider marrying if she meets all of your requirements, but there is no rush or requirement to get married. You only get one life, enjoy it.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I'm in a weird spot. On the one hand I'm telling my boys why I think they should never get married.

On the other hand I'm training and raising my daughter to be smart and feminine in hopes she will attract an alpha male and marry him and be the best wife ever.....

What happens when they start comparing notes?

[–]weakandsensitive30 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

they should never get married.

this is a copout move imo. if i had a son, i'd want to teach him how to be a man worth keeping for a woman worth marrying. if you can't find things to love about women in general, you're doing something wrong. if you can't find a single quality woman worthy of investing in out of the 4 billion on this planet, you're doing something wrong. that, imo, is a YOU problem.

i tell most men that they shouldn't get married not because marriage is inherently bad, but because most men are total fucking faggots who aren't worth keeping around.

being afraid of women. being afraid of marriage. being afraid of life. is exactly how you raise pussy faggot children. preferable is to understand the situation, the risk, the cost, and the benefits and engage appropriately.

irrational fear of every stupid little thing leads to stupid behavior.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So, you chose to quote "they should never get married" but left out the most important word, "why". I'm married, living the married life in front of them, so they see by action marriage isn't the boogie man, nor would I tell them that. I will tell them why marriage in this day and age is a bad deal for them and it has less to do about women and more to do with the state.

[–]weakandsensitive6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

so you talk about a conflict, where you're telling your daughter to marry but you're telling your son not to marry.

I will tell them why marriage in this day and age is a bad deal for them

are you also going to tell him why marriage is a good deal?

the fact that you use 'is' vs the conditional 'can be' is telling.

it's actually disappointing to me watching red pill aware men who managed to fuck it up for the next generation by buying into the hyperbole.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm showing them how marriage can be a good deal. If they decide to take the risk I wouldn't judge them poorly. Plus, I'm not against LTRs. Having said that you're jumping to incorrect conclusions about how I teach my kids. Hint: it's not through hyperbole.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never get married unless they understand Marriage 2.0 and intergender dynamics.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They should never compare notes.

If they do they will complain about the double standard. Fine. Complain away. It is a double standard.

Men and women are at cross purposes. Basically, men sell women on sex. "Here's why you should let me fuck you now."

Women sell men on marriage. "Here's why I should be the only girl you fuck."

As to men and marriage, the default answer should be "No, unless I'm shown why the answer should be "yes".

As to women and sex, the default answer should be "No, unless you're willing to stick around."

As to men and sex, the default answer should be "yes, let's fuck", irrespective of commitment. Son, if a woman is willing to fuck you without commitment, then fuck her. Getting commitment is her problem.

As to women and marriage, the default answer should be "yes, let's get married, as long as you're a man of value who I'm head over heels in love with."

[–]coolred86110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL, I said the same thing...you're right, it's always going to be a double standard...such is life.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think if done properly, the narrative should line up fine.

You should be making sure your daughter is also recognizing the appropriate beta traits in a man. I would think you don't want her marrying an alpha RP PUA type?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Truth. I want her to be discerning.

[–]Eastuss1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shouldn't you teach your son how to recognize a woman of value and how to be as much alpha as possible? Technically both educations would join on the same end.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This reminds me of negotiating desire...

[–]coolred86110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They really wouldn't be comparing notes. IMO, they will both internalize the info you give them. Your daughter's instincts will kick in and she will be pressured by society to do the marriage thing/LTR. Your son's KNOWLEDGE will be there for him to make the right choice for him, once you share aspects of TRP with him and you answer his questions, he'll have a head start on the game.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

raising my daughter to be smart and feminine in hopes she will attract an alpha male and marry him and be the best wife ever.....

Those are your aspirations for your daughter? How about starting off with being a decent fucking human being that adds something to the world? Or maybe you are covering that under "smart?"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, by smart I mean, smart enough to be a self sufficient member of society. If she chooses not to marry, I'm great with that, but biology says chances are high she'll want to.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My son is 18. I find that giving him a little bit at a time works best. The cool thing about that age is they know the truth when they hear it.

[–]coolred86112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so fucking profound. 30 y/o here and truly understanding this for the first time. Wish I had a dad in my life to have explained this shit. Reading this and looking back on some events makes this so self evident..

[–]weakandsensitive6 points7 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

This is the most retarded autistically stunting thing I've ever read. An aspie's interpretation of the nuances and subtleties of human interaction and emotion, filled by unrealistic caricatures and reducing complexities down to 1 dimension.

This is the RP equivalent of slam poetry joined by the sound of one hand clapping of in group attendees while the other hand is literally circlejerking.

If any of you guys think that the best way to approach your wife is to be an emotionally stunted fuck, you're so completely wrong I don't even know what to tell you. The whole entire point of this is to own your shit and embrace who you are instead of bullshitting not only yourselves but everyone around you or trying to become some MRP defined character.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ooooh, look at the big brain on Brad!

You and your high horse need to relax.

The point of his post is that we need to sit down and have an honest discussion with our boys about the reality of the nature of men and women rather than the fantasy society panders. He chose a creative way to present it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. All of these red-fonted flaired guys seem to hate this post. All of the ideas in this post have been espoused here-in this reddit before or could be read about in TRM.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I usually dig on/u/drty_pr. The thing is that this post is like a greeting card. It's got all the words but none of the substance about what passing on a worldview to your children is all about.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I guess the question is... Why are so many of the guys who know what they are doing having issue with it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why are so many of the guys who know what they are doing having issue with it?

This is the teaching moment that is lost on me. I don't have any issues with verbally explaining ideas and setting expectations. Actions not words is the MRP motto, but a teacher can't always teach that way with out verbal communication. I learned a lot from my father, but if someone had actually said what I learned from him (i.e RP insights), then it would have made even more sense. As it was growing up under BP feminism, my non-verbalized learning from his example was constantly challenged. If I had some directly taught understanding of the issue, like it's presented here-in this reddit/TRm, then it would have been so much easier for me.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My thoughts...

You can bullshit things you hear, you cannot bullshit things you see. My dad and stepdad said absolute bullshit growing up, I learned very little from their words. Their actions taught me more, good and bad.

In fact, every person in authority tended to tell me the advice that 'they wanted' not what 'I needed'. When I read that, it reads like 'what I wish they told me' or 'sum up what I believe now'.

I don't see any kid giving a shit about it, he's missing any of the foundation work that goes with it, aka 'have to learn this lesson the hard way'.

We see examples here toujours.

  • Wife won't fuck me, what do?
  • Lift, be hawt, stop being unattractive.

And when you read the sidebar, have a good lifting program, it sounds intuitive. But that poor bastard fills up that advice will all his bullshit hangups, then posts a FR a month later, saying he did a little jogging, and got 'stoic' but his wife won't fuck him.

Between that, and what I've experienced in life, giving him a pep talk, in speech form is useless, and probably will engage the need to argue, more than learn.

I may be wrong, I've yet to see it work.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

someone hacked your account?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the most retarded autistically stunting thing I've ever read.

Fuck that's funny Kicks the KISS method to the curb don't it

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Wow, the bitch who PMs me under fake IDs, is fhe only voice of reason in here. OPs post is a supreme piece of mangina vomit which makes me sick to my stomach. How about OP plays ball with his kids instead of faking red pill knowledge to gain acclaim from noob bloopers. OP, you make me sick, u/weakandsensitive, you and I need to reconcile because the reality that this brainfart beta, crowd pleasing bitch vomit is upvoted so much needs urgent action.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

you make me sick

I think I figured out why you stick out like a sore thumb. Rule 0, we are all here to help our fellow man, your motivations are more solipsistic.

Some advice you never asked for, wanted, or probably heed. Stop making it about you, meeting your approval, or talking about your overblown emotional response to things, focus on the ideas...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was drunk when I wrote that. It was rude and disrespectful to OP. Sure, I think the letter is dangerous and I think OP is way off, but there are so many better ways I could have phrased it.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stop being a little bitch. Of course I do all that shit with my kids, as my father did with me.

Your responses are emotional triggers to your own insecurities. Take for the example last week when I questioned the reasoning behind your "MRP approved" status. Your response "because I'm redpill as fuck". What does that even mean?

The men on this sub are greatly concerned with intergender relations, as we are trying to have a more fulfilling sex life while maintaining a healthy marriage, often to raise our children. Woman bashing doesn't get the same love in this sub.

You are used to having your ego stroked by a bunch of high school and college kids on the father sub. Here the average age is probably somewhere around 37. (I'd actually like to know this) When you start to carry yourself like a fuckin adult, the people in this community will welcome your imput with open ears. Until then, stop being a little bitch.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was drunk when I wrote that. It was rude and disrespectful to you, and not constructive criticism. I apologise. I have long thought that kids and TRP logic do not mix well so I still believe it would be a mistake to tell kids anything bad about women until they are out their in the field. Either way, I retract the rude comments. No more drinking and typing for me

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At least it was me and not your ex

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow, the bitch who PMs me under fake IDs,

?.

i'd probably spend time jerking off before i'd do this. i want to see these pms

u/weakandsensitive , you and I need to reconcile

i think you're so dead on a lot - but paint the picture as having less power and control than how i'd paint it. nothing against you, just your portrayal/worldview/whatever.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, the bitch who PMs me under fake IDs

I'm really curious what these user names were? I hope they were polar opposites

u/strongandhard

u/toughandmean

u/notweaknorverysensitive

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

When I was a kid, broken old men told me how to live life. I could see the bullshit at 7.

I don't care what you do, I do know that kids can detect bullshit. Just be the example, they can watch and learn.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think some things must be explained. Wise words plus example is the best way, I think.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Agree to disagree.

I didn't have a lot of wise old men to teach me much growing up, my default was to call bullshit on all of it. Took me a long time to separate wheat from chaff... I strongly advocate acta non verba.

I'm sure after a few father son chats, there's gonna be plenty of FR to show which works, and to what degree

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I didn't have a lot of wise old men to teach me much growing up

Bummer.

You got kids? I think I picked up somewhere that you don't and won't. Shame if not, you'd make a good dad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Id make a good Naval communicator too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is that your way of saying you ditched your kids? ;-I

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, something like that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm stealing this for my nephew whose father died unexpectedly a couple years ago.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Be cautious with him though bro. Id be willing to bet that his relationship with his mom is extra close.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How timely Rollo has a post about suppression of RP knowledge by the feminine imperative, which is what this whole post and comments are about. Interesting.

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Saved. Crucial mistake in parenting is to ignore/punish sexuality. Educate.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (58 children) | Copy Link

Wife decides to have a shit test moment in front of all three of our children

She states and I quote (because my youngest is being hyper)

"I wish I would have married ........... and had kids with him"

All three of my kids look to me and I yawn, "Ya, they would be pansy assed little fucks with sweaters on in summer to keep from getting a chill, and they would see you reading Harlequin romance novels staring @ the cover of what a real man looks like."

In unison the swivel back to her and she states, "At least they would behave"

Swivel back to me, "He would be your bitch boy that you would be constantly wanting to cheat on, but he would @ least bring home a decent paycheck" "Boys, don't listen to this shit, Daughter- don't marry a fag and have fag children."

Swivel back to mom "You are such an asshole"

My turn, "Boys, remember this, your wife is not your mom, she is not to bounce problem and manly thoughts off of. Daughter - if you got to mother your man, and if he cries other than death or the birth of a child, leave him"

Her turn. Mouth wide open

My turn. "Shut your mouth. Next time keep your comments to yourself." Very large yawn.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Best word to describe: Vitriolic

Ok she's a butthurt bitch.

You're a butt-hurt bitch, too.

Kids in the middle of an adult war of words.

They are not prepared for this shit. You're taking the kids to see and R-rated Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe show.

Shut this shit show down (in front of the kids) now.

Edit: It does not matter if the kids are 30, same advice.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I own this conversation as to the fact it happened Christmas night. I used to let shit like this slide. But I'm done with the disrespect her mother taught her.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm done with the disrespect her mother taught her.

I assume you're talking about your wife's problems here. They are her problems, agree. Understand you don't want to let it slide, that isn't the issue. The issue is that the kids are in the middle of it.

Somewhere, you have to take charge and stop the open warfare in front of kids. "We will talk about this later" or some thing that will stop it. Then deal with it as you please without the underage audience.

She is another 12 year old here, bitching on an emotional level. Looking for a fight, and she got it from you. Poor stupid you, you did just like I did for months, you took the bait. No matter what you do, you lose. Plus you lose in front of the kids. She gets to come back and tell the kids what an ass you are later. Anytime you get your nose out of joint, anytime you get all butt-hurt, you lose. You prove to her over and over again, that you are in her frame. That she can get you all riled up and pissed off. That you are too weak to ever leave her because she can work your emotions. Get you to say nasty shit to her and in front of the kids. She proves that you are so invested that she wins, and she is not getting any benefit of your dread, because you are a paper tiger here. Basic rule of relationships, the person that cares least wins. You keep proving that isn't you.

You have 8 months before you next her. Be sure you figure out how you can get yourself under better control. Figure how to quit all this butt-hurt bullshit. Until you end the butt-hurt, your dread isn't worth a pile of steaming shit. Get your frame solid so the next woman won't work you like a toy, again. BEST

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In a stern voice

I'll bet it has better results

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

upvoted

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How old are these guys?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Which guys ?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

the kids you've weaponized against each other?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ya, I don't think so

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

"I wish I would have married ........... and had kids with him"

Its not to late...is it babe?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

fucking golden

filed in section 86 under "tasteful and timed perfectly comebacks"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice one Dr. Smarty

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, shit, I didnt go to RPMedschool to be called Mr.Smarty did I ?

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED7 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

"I wish I would have married ........... and had kids with him"

In front of the kids, NEXT.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Uh about right She has 8 months for improvements or I'm done

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I did not like my own advice after I wrote it, because I do not trust my wife to raise my kids and sounds like you shouldn't either. NEXT might be handing her the keys. Ultimate rock and hard place. Good luck.

Edit , added the essential "not"

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ya. It's tough. But, in reality, I have put up with a lot for honor and my word.

Unfortunately, for her, I'm about done and I think she is feeling it. But whatever. We will see in the next few months

[–]donedreadpirateMRP APPROVED[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Honor yourself

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I am Trust me

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

She has 8 months for improvements or I'm done

I believe this is the only covert contract that should ever be used. As doing it overtly is simply negotiating desire and compliance.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I could give ten fucks on covert/overt

she knows something is up she is busting her ass on improvements

I also don't keep score. only levels of IDGAF

Ultimatums get you no where and come across a position of the weak

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For sure. When I make any move in terms of fixing things up, she won't wonder why.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Bait gets dropped into the water but the smart fish don't bite.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, I wrote 100's of words to make the same point. I need to tighten up my word game. +1

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I imagine this is what divorce looks like

good saying

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"I wish I would have married ........... and had kids with him"

What in the holy fuck. Your wife actually said this to you in front of your kids?

If my wife ever said that to me, it'd be "who's your lawyer going to be, bitch?"

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"What in the holy fuck. Your wife actually said this to you in front of your kids?"

This ain't shit

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Using that sort of language in front of children is not an example of a man who is a leader and role model.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Kids are not little kids I bit my tongue for years. As you get older, and discover some of the covert disrespect wives like to instill on husbands for the fuck of it, there comes a time when you decide enough

When something like this is said, you stand your ground. What you don't know is I would let a lot of this slide for the sake of "the Disney" story of a solid, spiritual, good man, better husband shit like this was slung forever

I am not living this way and I expect my sons to call out their SO when it happens and this was ripe

What exactly would you have said in this case- "Oh, hey BTW, your father is not who I should have married. I know he has always been to all of your school events, and made it a priority to eat each and every dinner with you.....but I should have married someone else"

Well what is it ?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

read this again, look at your life.

this isn't an observation, this is a hope

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Screech....you say your kids are not little kids and if you are the father that you have described yourself as then your children already know what their mother is.

There is no need for you to paste a label onto her for them to read. I keep telling you all that the bulk of your relationship with your children will be with them as adults. Play the long game.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I can't imagine having to keep frame during some shit like you had to deal with at that table. I would lose every ounce of respect I have for her and she knows it. Are encounters like this the norm in the dwelling of the Screech's?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I got frame.

I got the fuck beat out of me @ home and on the streets in of a large city for years I got frame.

It's been a shit show for years and it's one of the reasons I got here.

I originally thought to make my marriage work I should be stoic, smile and laugh until one day, it hit a raw nerve and I started shutting down My friend caught it in a self deflating comment. He made me realize that I was using that as a steam valve

Once I got here and cleaned the goggles off I came out fucking swinging and she has been on the road to improvement to keep me ever since. I actually think it's been about a year since she got both barrels on confronting her some real disrespectful shit

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is where I differ from a lot of men on here. My wife is in a great wife. Minus the sex. That's what brought me here. I always find it so difficult to imagine guys in a situation like you were at that dinner table.

Keep the game up man. You will beat her. One way or another.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Last couple of days I got pretty pissed off over denials I'm frustrated. I always get the "I can't relax with the kids in the house" etc. "I need more sleep" so I'm in the same boat

So upping the dread is the best tool we have along with making sure we don't project butt hurt. She asked me last night if I was mad and I laughed. She then started to relate to me about another mom pushing her luck with her husband. I just let her talk. It's just another stall

There is always something and it's s log jamb. So I'm upping my dread to break it. I decided I will not go to fuck you or fuck me, but I will shoot a warning shog over the bow with a trial separation threat. Papers in hand. Divorce if I must. I'm just resolved to it

Although this transaction we had over her comment of marrying another seems to be volatile - AWALT. Some just won't say it. I will say she sees other marriages crumbling in front of us and does initiate, but I'm not allowed to in this state of menopause, as often. Time to make myself scarce. No other way.

Tell me, are you lifting ? Disappearing from home ?

I mysteriously am going to have to go to a mandatory vendor meeting that I hold a liscense for in another city, with no warning and just go radio silent for a day or two flat out. I used to travel somewhat when the kids were younger It's just a fact they need that mystery for a boost/kick in the ass

Remember, this place is fir sexual strategy and we go deeper Don't get all fucking butt hurt when you realize the lack is on you. It is what it is. Don't let anger fuck your frame up

This is the whole point of my comment, you must remain in frame She really dug. She let her feels at the moment control her mouth. Intentional or not, I had a split second to decide to teach her a lesson, be but hurt, laugh it off or ignore. I decided I had a great moment to teach the boys and daughter, that fear or words won't wreck my frame, and since I didn't raise my voice, I kept the conversation on my terms. I wanted the last word. I got a great teaching moment in and shamed her enough, in a jovial manner, that that kind of behavior has not seen the light of day in a few months.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everyone has to fight for their place in this world.

You have boundaries and enforced them anytime anyplace. The fact it has not happened for a few months is proof of that.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm lifting like mad and finally seeing good results. I have upped my wardrobe considerably. New smells, regular hair cut, whitening teeth and shaving daily. No-butthurt-denial. Fun all the time. Constantly either making her laugh or making out in public. Never lose frame. Owning my shit at home. Hanging out with friends more when I feel like it, regardless of her opinion.

My 2 lacking areas are making myself scarce and gaming other women to induce dread. I'm takin the slow road and doing it right though man.

Sex has been steadily getting better slowly. Got my first BJ in 8 years today. I never got those newb gains they speak of. More like a gradual incline. Keep on chugging is the only option.


It's a sexual strategy first and foremost as you say though. There are other benefits. Like the possibility of a better marriage, being a better father and being happy with the life you forge; knowing you did it all of your own accord. In the end, those things are all part of the strategy to get more pussy. We aren't free masons. It doesn't make good men better. It makes men attractive and fuckable.

That's why there is no shame in cheating here. Provided your not being a bitch and own it. What I mean by that, is if you get caught and you blame her for not fucking you enough, you're a pussy. It's not her fault she didn't want to fuck you. It's your fault you wanted more and there is nothing wrong with that from our narrative.

Its amoral for a reason.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im still trying to find the correct balance of making myself scarce when denials or lack of investment (or disrespectful behavior) on her part increase. On the one hand, removing presence is one of our only tools to use. One of our cards to play, just like withholding sex is one of theirs. Have you found that pronounced "presence removal" eventually achieved what you wanted? I'm asking in all seriousness.

I have hobbies, friends and other locations I can take my presence and attention to when she sits in the couch with her phone and is not interested in fucking but if I'm gone then my dick obviously isn't going in her pussy and being gone a lot actually works against my sexual strategy in the short term. Have you found that it helps in the long term?

As for your handling of this ST, as I said above I think it's warranted if it's repeated and in public.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would let a lot of this slide for the sake of "the Disney" story of a solid, spiritual, good man, better husband shit like this was slung forever

There is a difference between letting something slide and acting like an ass-hat in front of your kids. It's not their fault you failed to secure a proper wife or that you behaved like a bitch for years which led you to this point.

What exactly would you have said in this case

I would ignore the comment, and instead say to the kids that I'm so happy I married her and had them, and that they are the most important people in my life and I love them. That would be witnessing a man who is in control of his emotions and who cares for his children. Then behind closed doors there would be a coming to Jesus moment where she would shape up or ship out.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ya come to Jesus moments work all the time, like ultimatums

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You have a lot to learn...

Look into "fuck me or fuck you"

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have looked. I'm not interested in that. I look at that as a thermonuclear detant that no one wins.

I will address the constant denial over a certain length of time I determined is right for me. Part of this whole eval of the journey is checking of the ego, taking a few notes. And, truly deciding what my exact limit is. Without ego.

On the one hand she is watching many others marriages crumble and tells me she do glad we are strong, then denies 99 % If she wants it, she gets it. I am just in the evaluation process @ 11 % BF looking to reduce to 8 which is what I met her at. I'll be 50 soon, look 35 and will have plenty of options as I do me and my thing on my terms. She can hop aboard, but I look at IV sex as a keeping, but not serious about us anymore. It's ok. I'm not upset any longer

I was at a doctors office this am and took note of how many hamsters were looking at my ring finger empty while twirling hair. I got one phone number given to me. I did not ask for it.

Thanks fir allowing me to vomit

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got one phone number given to me.

Nice, this should tell you all you need to know regarding your value and the fact that you have no need to keep negative people in your life. It sounds like your kids are old enough to realize that she is a cunt, so it doesn't do them much good to hang around "for the kids". The only disclaimer is if you think she will get custody and start bringing creeps around your kids. Then your duty to protect you kids might trump your personal happiness (IMO, others will disagree).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Here's a better way to handle this:

Mrs. Screech: (In front of kids): "I wish I would have married.... and had kids with him"

Screech: We'll talk about this later.

  • Later

Screech: What you said about me in front of the kids, about wishing you'd married..... is not acceptable, in front of the kids or not. You ever do that again, go hire a lawyer and i'll do the same, because we'll be done. But for now, you will apologize to the kids for saying that about me. And if you ever use the kids against me like that again, we're done.

Got it? End of discussion.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Screech: We'll talk about this later.

Works in some cases, but when you have tried in the past and realize the MIL is psycho, you come to terms and call her on it, wasn't a dick about it but got my point across

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What a lot of shit. Your kids need a real man, not a fake ass platitude spilling bitch. Tell your kids you love them, hug them, avoid arguing in front of them, do not undermine or belittle their mother, do not lose frame, do not engage. For god's sake act like a man. Do not come in here acting like the man when you have psychologically damaged your children and carried on like a bitch and act like you are the man.

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your kids need a real man, not a fake ass platitude spilling bitch

Let me tell you something boy, there is going to come a day that you will need to nip it @ that moment and teach a lesson for a life time

they have seen their mother come @ me plenty and me laugh it off and their grandmother be the psycho fucking cunt in private and the two faced bitch in church

You look in the mirror and decide, "Do I have a large enough set to put aside the fear and put her in her place when the time is right ?" Or, will I save it for another "private moment ?"

Some people never learn timing until you humiliate them

Well ?

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree. Some shit tests require immediate nuking. Especially if a public disrespectful comment like this is a repeat offense. The first time, you correct and punish in private. Second time you nuke it, then and there.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuckin right.

[–]SiulaGrande0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

haha no way, that's great. there's no way you live in the states. what country are you in?

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Midwest born and raised on the coast Dad 3 tour Vietnam vet Special Forces

[–]SiulaGrande0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

good god almighty

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hero level shit right here.

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nope, keep reading.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm nothing but take notes

there is a lot of great advice in this post for every swinging dick

[–]stew70000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you for posting. Was on my way (3 months of MRP) and took my foot off the gas (last 4 months). This is some real shit right here.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

We all slip from time to time. Don't think about it like you have to do x, y, z and you'll become pimpletits. Chances are you'll never be him. Use the tools to become the man you want to be. Your success is your standard that you set for yourself to be happy. Don't over MRP yourself.

[–]stew70000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. That's great advice.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (30 children) | Copy Link

At what age do you think this message is appropriate?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think 15 years old or grade 10.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

In my experience, way too young for this depth of message. 90% of this went over his head because he lacks the experience to understand. like others, small doses. just my opinion, you do you as always.

[–]long-lostfriend2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know about that. My son is 11 and I am always looking for teaching moments. For example, we were on the road and one of those "Why are you with him? I would treat you so much better like you deserve!" songs came on the radio. I told him never to say that to a girl, that she is with that guy because that is what she wants and that there is always another girl. I didn't know how much he was going to take to heart, but he brought it up with me just this past weekend when we were out on our own.

A boy's understanding of RP truths will deepen as he matures, but don't underestimate the ability of him to grasp the basics of it all, especially if you are walking the talk yourself.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would say a combination of the individual child, how long the father has been subconsciously instilling RP philosophy into the boy and the relationship between the 2 of them. I guess you have already done it though. So it's food for thought.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Yours is 14. Right now as baby tinderellas in training are starting to give out handjobs like milk with school lunch.

This expands on my "I'm not your Friend" post in RP Fatherhood.

Jesus, I referred to myself, now I sort of know what Rollo feels like. Yuck.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

As I replied to dirty_pr I think this is way too much for a high schooler at least in one giant dose. I don't mean too much in terms of harshness; but in terms of even a mature boy grasping. Most likely his eyes will glaze over and the is thinking WTF is dad talking about.

I reread your "not your friend" letter; and think it is more HS age appropriate and universal in message (as opposed to just sexual strategy). Did you deliver this letter (at what age)? I had the feeling it was more for internal fathering guidelines.

I have introduced the following concepts in this order:

  • bros over hos (did not use those words; but the key message is your friends are more important than any individual girl)
  • outcome independence and abundance mentality - this was an easy one for him to grasp because I have been pounding this concept for many years in regards to life (ex: never focus on that soccer goal u missed, focus on all the goals you will score . . . stoicism 101 stuff)
  • never put pussy on a pedestal - girls are always replaceable , treat girls like your sister in terms of teasing them and not taking any shit
  • i tried some secondary selection, but his eyes glazed over so i stopped.

Like most dads, I spend a lot of time with him in my truck going places. I try to key the message off an observation he has made or problem he has. I keep it short. Within the next week, I will bring up the same message again to see what he thinks and we discuss some more.

I can't honestly say whether he is lapping it up or is just a natural. But, yeah his ATTITUDE and success with the baby tinderellas is years ahead of me at the same age.

As Rollo says, boy are natural alphas. I think the best we can do as fathers is to help them not lose that outlook. The key message has to be that your mission comes 1st always, chicks will follow.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My son is only 8 as of end of February. I can slowly roll out what I know to him.

Having your son aware of his power early and getting him to do calisthenics, then lift at 15-16, depending on his beard progress, will serve him best first. So much easier being attractive in High School.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He started shaving last summer, and as you know is a training maniac. He trains 2-4 hours a day between school sports, travel soccer, and weightlifting with me at home. His squat and DL are both over 1.5 his body weight owing to years of running and core training. Bench is 75% but moving up nicely.

He has friends that had a beard at 12 so get ready.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. I just remember kids who hit puberty later, who could not T support a meaningful training regimen to gain muscle and strength. One of the most RP natural coaches gave me the whisker guideline for hitting iron. I couldn't lift meaningfully until 15. Put on 18 pounds in one summer and 30 yards on my drive. Expect the "steroids" BS at some point if his calves look too good for the other parents. Fuck them.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I was 15 when lifting made a difference. Funny on the roids , never thought of that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I read that. Great post.

What's missing in this discussion is that a "letter" like this is completely beside the point. It's like trying to pick out paint swatches for your house but the smoke from the fire of it burning down is getting in your eyes. Or trying to wallpaper over wet and rotting drywall.

The real work of fatherhood is the equipping of your sons with the experiences and example they need to develop a primacy of the individual if you will, that is so necessary for navigating life not to mention relationships with women.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My favorite analogy: Arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

I'm just at loss as to the "Binary Billies," who seem to be even more dangerous to themselves than "Red Pill Rambos." It's telling that cyclic discussions regarding the nature of women vacillate from Boudicca and Lozen to Hello Kitty. Women are awesomely complex and frustrating, but they are not insurmountable.

Kids are even easier to lead, because they want to trust you and see your best traits. There isn't a sexual undertone or push-pull with your kids that can mar the relationship with bad memories that can last decades. Be present and provide value with meaningful experiences and guidance, and don't be a dick. Not that hard.

Your "ask Google" answer makes me laugh every time.

[–]sixdownsevenup0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am wondering that myself. My oldest is an early teenager. Wondering if this should wait until 16? 18, I think is waiting too long ...

[–]omg_ppl_are_stupid2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My guess would be when girls start to come around the house.... i didn't need this in highschool, i was still trying to figure out how to beat mario faster... but in college, this would have been nice.

[–]omg_ppl_are_stupid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on your kid..... early as 8 and as late as 80....

[–]jacksarmy0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

It won't matter,children don't listen to their parents, you can't save them time, they have to make all the mistakes themselves. On top of that you have a mass media machine that portrays men as clueless which will probably be the impression your teenage son has of you. You truly can only do you

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

It won't matter,children don't listen to their parents

Nah. A father can build all the credibility he needs if he's willing to work at it. Making mistakes and dealing with the consequences is important developmental work certainly but a man is in complete control of his son's impression of him. My sons know I'm kick ass and now my grandson's taking my measure. Little dudes gonna be a baller like his dad and he's named after me so he's sure to be no fail. Ain't no "mass media machine" creating my family's reality. Don't be a quitter.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Ballsy name for a millenial

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Ha. It's an old man's name huh? Grandson isn't two yet. Has his generation been named yet? Bound to be better than those whiny millenials. If it turns out to be a problem for him he can go by his middle name, many in the family do. Or throw a good combination.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I mention it because was having a conversation yesterday, about how a lot of asians I knew growing up picked the oldest names ever. Ester, Ethyl, Dot etc.

Was trying to figure out if it was because they sound better in Mandarin/Cantonnese/Kanji, or it's because it's what their grandparents liked, and suggested it to them.

Don't get me wrong, my Red Pill favourite character from Die Hard has the same name.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

which one?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

The one jack shit on me for using as an archetype

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

you talking character names or actors names?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't know his RL name

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wonder what he is doing with all the energy he previously employed bitch slapping people. I always figured some of it was fueled with that California snow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sure he'll be successful, or at least break down why he wasn't with great eloquance

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you have some truth here, but you're throwing out a lot of baby with the bath water.

Children will sometimes, but not always, listen to their parents. The more they respect you the more they will listen. Not surprisingly, they will often "listen" to things you said to them when they were younger when they become older and hopefully before making any life-altering fuckups. This has all occurred in my own relationship with my father; and I can see it happening with my son.

My son listens and respects me, RIGHT NOW. That may change; but that will be on him. It helps that my kids exposure to the "mass media machine" has been very low (never watched television, very few movies, mostly books, and computer games).

[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It won't matter,children don't listen to their parents

Just not true.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point to be aware of but I think we can all show through our actions that we are nothing like Ray Romano. We are in control of our lives

[–]DeplorableRay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice read. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Grow up. No father should feed cynical red pill venom into the veins of their little kids. Your letter is a love letter to yourself, a pathetic attempt to garner respect amongst a bunch of fake internet friends. How about reading to your son, throwing catch, bushwalking, learning chess instead of spewing manginal vomit all over him. Grow up bitch, along with every one of the self important, mirror gazing bitches who upvoted you. You all suck and you do not deserve children.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Calm your tits, doc.

I don't agree with WMP this time, but at least he doesn't sound like a butt hurt 13yr who just had his birthday party canceled.

Try not to be so dense when reading this. I really don't think OP's point is to copy paste this to his kids. It's an admonition to have a a RP conversation with young men. My father was/is old school and very RP, but I wish he had sat me down and explained some of these things to me while I was a teenager.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes my reaponse was full on and rude. I was drunk when I typed it. I apologised to OP.

[–]omg_ppl_are_stupid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, i wish someone would have told me this in my early twenties, instead of running through all these mental hoops for the last 14 years and finally hitting the pill a year or so ago. Better late then never i guess.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you can shorthand this to 'acta non verba' and make the point much more succintly.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is just more PB pussy worship.

It's simple she cannot love you for you, only for what you provide her. If you make her your priority and do nothing but chase her, she can never get from you anything other than what she already has (herself). You must chase greatness. That greatness, and your chances of achieving it, must be greater than her fears or you will never be her love, only her placeholder.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this man nails it - see Book of Pook "If Life Seems Hard and Unhappy, Read This!"

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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