I have been applying MRP principles since the end of October when I reached a crisis moment in my life and In my marriage.
One night, after begging my wife for sex (it would have been only the third time that month), she said, "Why are you acting like such a baby, pouting and whining."
I immediately stopped, stepped out of the room, and went to the bathroom. For the first time in almost a year I stepped on the scale. 350 stared back at me. Now I am a tall man, over 6'4', but that weight shocked me. I hadn't even weighed that when playing college football.
I stepped off the scale, turned, saw myself in the mirror without a short on and looked hard at myself for the first time in years. I was disgusted. I realized why my wife wouldn't willingly give herself to me. I was fat, sloppy and disheveled. Unkempt beard and hair, plain clothes that fit too tight in the wrong places.
Over the past 8 years, 4 kids and 3 moves, I had put on 80lbs. And has become careless in my appearance and in my attitude. Our sex life had slid toward 2-3× per month and I was exhibiting all the negative beta characteristics I had once despised in other men.
I found RP first then MRP and devoured the content and threads. I read NMMNG and MMSLP and 75 percent of The Rational Male. I began doing all the things I had avoided before on my slide to comfortable mediocrity. (the irony is that comfortable mediocrity becomes painfully uncomfortable).
Since I always had an active social life with other men (something church provides that I don't see in non-religious friends), rarely complained to my wife about work problems, was the sole earner for the family, never went to places or watxhed movies/shows just because my wife wanted to, and was a good father/spiritual leader for our household, I realized my issues lay elsewhere.
Getting things done, seeing problems and fixing them, keeping up the house, cleaning the things I own and care about, and setting the mood of the household.
I also began lifting and doing cross fit while changing my diet and putting down the fork. Since I had the necessary mass already, the cross fit allowed me to redefine the muscle while losing weight.
I also began flirting with my wife, using amused mastery and STFU to hold frame. Worked on being the oak tree when she raged and learned to discern between different kinds of tests. I began planning activities with her and for her. She loved it.
Finally, I created a shared calendar for our schedule that was color coded and planned out our lives months and weeks in advance. This ended the constant checking in and allowed our communication to be more fun.
Finally and most importantly, I am beginning to learn the power of OI. If things happen the way I want that's great, if not thats great too. I can either choose to join or do something else. It's one part humility and one part not being emotionally needy.
MRP has helped me MAP, our sex life is back and growing, I am becoming more of the man I was at my best, I am accomplishing things because those things are worth accomplishing and I have lost 50lbs while gaining strength and muscle.
All it took was the crisis. That would be my hope and prayer for you and your friends. The crisis forces a choice. Change or die. I'm glad I'm changing.
[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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