TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

79

Purpose:  

 

It is my intention to share my personal experiences with the community in hopes others that come from a similar path can find solace in MRP and specifically /u/BluepillProfessor's book "Saving a Low Sex Marriage". No one asked me to write this and my intention is not to blindly "plug" his book. Instead I feel like I owe the MRP community but more specifically those stuck in all the subs relating to dead bedrooms, an opportunity to see my story and either accept or deny the parallels within their own experiences.

 

Background: 

 

Today I am a 33 year old man with two children. My wife and I met in college, we were each other's first and only PIV sexual partners. When my wife met me in college, I had my shit together, at 21 I was running two companies while working on a degree. I was the classic "internet kid" story of a simple idea that turned into a fortune overnight. I played sports and worked out. For much of my life I had ignored women, I saw them as too much trouble, too much effort. My entire childhood was spent learning how to program, design, and create, I missed out on the enticement of the opposite sex. Don't get me wrong, the feels were there, I just didn't put any effort into it. I was a "nice guy" I was raised in a household where women were seen as equals and they were expected to do anything a man could short of physical lifting. I wanted a women to treat as my princess/queen to be raised up on that pedestal and to be worshiped. My wife changed this all for me, she became my sexual vixen, sex was amazing and she kept the variety going. We had sex in public places, we experimented with positions and fantasies, it was an amazing experience. This is where my story and most HLM (High-Libido Men) start to merge.

 

Story: 

 

After about 4 years of dating and great sex, we got engaged. The sex immediately dropped off. My simple brain attempted to justify this with things that were wrong with her, ways I could "help" her through whatever issue was preventing her from wanting to have sex. I loved her, and why should a little lack of sex now effect our union? After the ceremony, sex was almost non existent, maybe once a month. At this point in the relationship, most of us go through a period of waxing/waning on our self-loathing, then we have "the talk" with our wives, maybe something comes of it, but ultimately those talks either lead to some really shitty obligation sex, or her just despising you more. So what is a classic redditor to do when he has no one left to turn to, because most likely you don't have a lot of in-person friends to turn to? You go to /r/sex and you start reading and posting.

Sometimes I think /r/sex is made up of a bunch of teens that just watch porn and think every woman wants to go from dinner to being fucked hard in the ass. Posts in here regarding this type of issue typically result in either "leave her" or "hit the gym and better yourself" advice. There really isn't a whole lot of substantive communication that goes on over there to assist this type of issue. Typically you will be referred to /r/relationship_advice and/or /r/deadbedrooms. My journey just made me more jealous of those who seemed to be having an inhumane amount of sex.

This went on for a few years, the sex ebbed and flowed as it relates to frequency, until one moment. We decided to have children, I know, face-palm. However this was my first real view of what women were capable of, given the right emotional state. I will tell you, I have never had sex in my life up until that point that rivaled the pure passion that comes with baby-making sex. My wife was not as prudish as many, the sex did not cut off immediately after she became pregnant, but as expected it did recede dramatically. Mentally, I left this experience knowing that enticing these feelings caused my wife to turn in to a complete sexual animal. I had no idea yet that this was possible to induce and maintain.

As the years roll forward and I consume numerous posts from /r/sex; /r/relationship_advice; and /r/deadbedrooms I attempt to implement what I have read and learned. I had "the talk" with my wife on a yearly/semi-yearly basis. The results of these talks ranged from her not knowing why she just "wasn't into it anymore" to her saying things I could do to change. It was always things for me to change, which made me angry as I perceived this as our, or even more likely, her, problem. I worked through this list, and pay very close attention to this list:

  • Be more kind
  • Be more romantic
  • Pamper her
  • Workout
  • Help out with the kids
  • Do projects around the house (like fixing a door frame)

The problem is, I worked through the things that were easy for me to do first, the things that unfortunately based on MRP don't create "the tingles". So now my son is 2 years old and I was getting fed up with my dead-bedroom. I had tried a number of things on her list and tried making small changes but nothing was working. So like any man stuck in the 21st century I did what women told me they wanted, my new year's resolution was to pamper my wife for the next year. If nothing changed, I was done. I had purchased her an expensive piece of jewelry about once every other month, got her massages, pampering sessions at spas, etc. I brought her home flowers once a week, I worked on picking up the house and removing some of the home burden on her even though she is a stay-at-home-mom and I am the provider. I made it through those months and at the end, the result was the same. Infrequent and unadventurous sex. That is when I made my first post to /r/relationship_advice ( https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/2pksx3/30m_my_wife_26f_shows_little_interest_in_physical/ ). After making that post I took two major things out of it, first /r/deadbedrooms was where I belonged, and second I needed to just make myself the best version of myself I could. If my wife didn't want me, I was going to find someone out there that did, and I needed to be in great shape mentally and physically if I wanted to do that.

So after that post, my new, new years resolution was to say "fuck it" and just focus on myself. Now, let me say I wasn't unattractive by any means. I had certainly lost muscle mass from when we had first started dating but I wasn't too far off size wise from that body. I was always a bit of a reserved person which made me gravitate towards non-team sports as a kid, my obsession and what likely saved me from being a fat kid was my passion for climbing. So I found a local gym and I started re-igniting my passion for climbing which in turn was me working out. Anyone big into working out will realize my issue immediately in terms of the MRP advice and the direction I went. Climbing is for the most part a "bodyweight exercise", so what ends up happening is not that you build massive muscles, instead you become a shadow of yourself that is rock hard but visually unchanged unless the muscles are in use. This was a huge boost for my ego as my body went from flabby muscles to rock hard. While I was molding my body and shaping my mind, others took notice, I started getting hit on, people started to treat me differently than others. This was my second self-discovery into MRP. You can read my post into /r/deadbedrooms here ( https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/440nv9/positive_update_and_what_worked_for_me/ ). My physical and mental "Frame" began to form into more of an Alpha and less of a Beta. Mind you, at this time RP and MRP are still wholly unknown to me. I still do not know who gilded my post, or who mentioned it to me, but somehow there was a very brief mention of "the pill that shall not be named".

Now, when I first stumbled into /r/TheRedPill I was taken back by the attitude that these people held towards women. A degrading, "I know you better than yourself" attitude where women just "need a good fucking to be put straight". As I reviewed the sidebar and the posts I made note of reading literature and even migrated into MRP, all the time making a notepad of links to go back to and books to read on the subject. I then proceeded to download every single book and load it onto my reader. There was one book I just couldn't locate online "Saving a Low Sex Marriage" so I skipped it, figuring if I really wanted to I could buy it in the future since I could not locate it anywhere else.

My first read was "No More Mr. Nice Guy" about a year ago, which helped me stop being the "Nice Guy" by avoiding (failing) her shit tests and creating "secret contracts". I didn't know it yet, but what I was doing is becoming more dominant, I saw it as being more decisive, more commanding of my opinion. For example, a situation that likely plays out in most households. Choosing where to eat for dinner, my wife is very indecisive about these kinds of things, but since I wanted her to be happy I wanted her to select where to go. I just started making decisions and sticking to them. If she struggled hard enough I would go where she wanted, but I made her start working against my decisions rather than making her make the decisions. Which looking back I realize how stupid I was to even consider this a valid strategy of letting her make the decision. After this book and what I saw it do and the tidbits I took away, I was hooked. I started working through my list of books, all the while taking studious notes of each book I read. "She Comes First", not really MRP but interesting none the less; "When I say No, I Feel Guilt"; "The Art of Seduction"; then, this is where I swallowed the proverbial pill, Daniel Rose's "Sex God Method".

So basically up until this point RP is a concept I see but to me it looks more like seduction techniques I would watch on some MTV reality TV show. "Sex God Method" changed my mentality, why might you ask? First, saw the parallels between the best sex my wife and I had ever had together and the DEVI technique. For example, the best sex I could recall was after a night of clubbing and hitting a strip club, where I needed to have her and commanded her in the bed. Recall, I was a "Nice Guy", I wanted to please her in the bedroom. "Sex God Method" made me realize a lot, particularly that it was my job to lead and drive the mind-blowing sex she required. I did this, I upped my D (ominance) like never before which essentially raised all the other levels at the same exact time resulting in the most mind blowing sex. I thought it was great, but what I didn't expect was the result. My wife was no longer that reserved woman, she was begging for more opportunities to get fucked. She would apologize to me if we didn't have sex that day for whatever reason. The excuses changed from "I am tired" or "My stomach hurts" to "I am so tired but I really want you to fuck me, can we do it in the morning?". So here I am 7 months ago with a wife who is essentially begging me to fuck her so badly that she is texting me nudes (something she never did before, and yes I asked), sending me suggestive messages, and grabbing me all the time. The tide has turned at this point, but I don't know exactly why.

I look for my next book to read, I decided I needed to take another look at MRP because something is happening here I just do not understand. Welcome /u/BluePillProfessor, I revisited his book on Amazon looking over the preview, listed in the stages of dread and the recommended books under each section. Noticing some of the books I read I was sold this guy had basically already done everything I was working on in terms of the book reports and aggregating information. Why re-invent the wheel, so I made the purchase and read his book. It was a very strange feeling, I was basically reading about myself, almost exactly what I had done. Notably /u/BluePillProfessor has some warnings and safe-guards that would have been very helpful, but I made it this far, and found I only needed to reach dread level 8 before my wife flipped the switch. If I had just picked up his book in the beginning I would have saved myself a ton of time and a ton of trial and error. I am not mad, I realize that in order to follow this plan it takes a ton of motivation and dedication, if you can do this you are an Alpha at heart. This isn't the key to your sexless marriage, this is the raw metal and a hammer, you must fabricate that key.

 

My Outcome: 

 

After turning myself around, I am a better father, husband, businessman, and lover. My wife is more sexual than when I met her which is hard to imagine. For example, and I think this should be added to MRP in order to boost I(mmersion), I took my wife on a vacation without the kids so there were no external stressors. She was able to let loose without the I(mmersion) being broken, so my focus could be on DE as V(ariance) was being met simply by being on vacation. My wife found out that she is bisexual/curious and enjoys the touch, taste, and feel of a women. Honestly I never thought this was ever on the table, but our relationship is so incredibly strong at this point that she feels comfortable bringing other women into our bedroom. In fact she has enjoyed the chase so much she now entices other couples play. Obviously I am still very cautious as I feel like a kid running around with a stick of lit dynamite. I just wanted to share my personal experience and the main point, that /u/BluePillProfessor should be required reading for any man about to get married.


[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This isn't the key to your sexless marriage, this is the raw metal and a hammer, you must fabricate that key.

Good line. I get tired of newbies on aMRP: "help me squash this shit test." Damn it son, go try to squash a few yourself, fail, and then let us lovingly tell you where you went wrong. Don't ask for a handout. Make your journey your own.

Oh, and... inb4 everyone freaks out at letting other men into your bedroom. Have fun and stay on top of your game.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I feel like Shit Test squashing, like most of MRP just has to be practiced until it is second nature. Luckily I am a naturally sarcastic person so I just had to refine my sarcasm a bit to be more playful. The one that comes difficult to me personally is showing dominance over women. That part was so ingrained in me it takes a lot to actively reject my upbringing.

Yeah the other guy thing, I could see that being an issue here. So far we only play with one other good friend couple of ours, because my wife loves her breasts. Playing with fire you think?

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Luckily I am a naturally sarcastic person so I just had to refine my sarcasm a bit to be more playful. The one that comes difficult to me personally is showing dominance over women. That part was so ingrained in me it takes a lot to actively reject my upbringing.

I've always had a sarcastic, fun-loving streak... that got socially beat out of me from childhood through my master's degree. Only in the last 2 years have I accepted that as a good part of me that seriously helps my marriage and friendships.

Playing with fire you think?

Check out r / redpillnonmonogamy. There's not much activity there, but their motto is "Red Pill on Nightmare Mode." You have to have rock star frame to survive it, especially if 1) there's another guy involved, or 2) you can play without her but she can't play without you. If you enjoy watching your wife get railed by someone else, I would say you're a cuck and there's some self-loathing psyche stuff that goes really deep that you should probably get therapy for. Even if you're always the bigger, fitter, more awesome of the two guys, there's ALWAYS comparison. Women will cheat on alphas too, because the beta provides better comfort. You truly have to fulfill both alpha and beta desires for your wife. And if you are, then you have to ask yourself why y'all would need another man at all.

There's a way to do it, but it's more of a years-old deer path through dense forest than a deserted country road.

[–]Hotdawg1795 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just gotta piggyback and say it absolutely is playing with fire.

Be very careful. Once you go down that road you get comfortable on it before you know it. I would wholeheartedly advise against it. And yes, I do have experience on it.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Okay well if I am honest with myself and you, I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing my wife get pleasure, whether that is from me, a women, or another man. It really doesn't seem to effect me in terms of jealousy. Recall I stated my major issue was with Dominance. I just don't think I am a naturally dominant person. My primary "resting" dominance is that of me being a business leader in the area and advising others. I am not the typical "Alpha" in terms of presence. However, I have noticed something very interesting, there seems to be some sort of ability for Alphas to spot each other in a crowd. I didn't use to notice it, but now it is vividly clear which relationships are strong to me and which aren't, which men are Framing themselves as Beta and which as Alpha.

Also, in terms of labels, cuckold is defined as "the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.". There are two parts there, the second I am certainly not, there is no way I want to be demeaned or ridiculed. The first, is true in the sense that she has sex with others, but if it is approved is it really cheating? I know, I know, semantics right? I would be interested if there is a fitting term, that just seems like the square peg into the round hole.

I will heed your, and the general collective's, thoughts with great care. Something I have taken from this is not to discount the RP community in terms of their experience aggregation. It is quite astonishing the non-scientific science that is been produced through trying to get laid (that is a simple way to put it).

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand the non-dominant alpha you're describing, and it seems like the right frame for this situation.

If we're talking non-scientific science, the anecdotal evidence of a man letting another man have his wife and succeeding in a long term relationship is itself unicorn-esque. Best of luck to you.

[–]dutchred0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Please tread carefully! One reason a woman seeks an Alpha when married to a beta is she wants/needs the power and protection the Alpha can provide. The beta is not protecting her.

Over time, you letting other men fuck her, her hamster will conclude that you are not protecting her. This is not a conscious thought, but subconscious. This is a very easy seaway into fucking other men when you are not around, and don't know about it. It happens A LOT in the swinging life style, and happens to Alphas.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no experience w.r.t what op is describing, but I am guessing owning your shit, be a high value value giver, and having solid enforced boundaries will solve 95% of the problems.

That's been the default that I've always seen. If OP isn't going it like a bitch, expecting some magical unexpected outcome, then I'm pretty sure que sera sera.

[–]KyfhoMyobaMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Playing with fire you think?

I most definitely think. Stick to swinging only with other women.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Listen to me very fucking carefully. Do not play with couples unless you are comfortable watching another dude plow your wife. My wife and I have threesomes but I have never allowed another man in the mix. In the moment, a hard no to another dude can end up with social pressure from the group to let it go down. Some RP dudes might be okay with that, I am not. I don't even allow for the possibility to occur. I have had some swinger couples tell me I am not being fair. My response is I am not concerned with being fair, all I care about is being the only dick in the room. Lucky for me, my wife loves watching me fuck our special guests.

[–]j_arbuckle20126 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for the advice, I replied to /u/alphabeta49 after he posted similar advice regarding the other man in the bedroom. I am comfortable with it.

[–]analyticaltoafault6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fucking awesome, brother.

One thing I wanna say. Fuck, "I wish I had read this and that earlier." You made the correct observations entirely on your own and corrected course on your own. That's fucking real and more often I notice is what actually creates a proper mindset in people rather than simply reading the right thing to do.

Internalize that success man, you've earned it.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I understand where you are coming from. But there are a lot of warnings and best practices that would have been very helpful. Hell I could have started this a year earlier instead of doing that whole "buy her shit" phase. Though part of me feels like I may not have been ready to make a commitment to myself like that one that has to be made to transition from Beta -> Alpha.

[–]analyticaltoafault0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Still, I believe that along with TRP philosophies, other ones such as stoicism, Zen Buddhism, Tao, etc. touch on this same idea of not viewing things that way. There's no point. You are where you are now, and it is a good place.

[–]Boogy03LTR4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Will you submit this in the other subs as well? It would be interesting for you to compare the comments and the general attitude towards your progress.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

hahahahah. this isn't a song about fear and loathing. i suspect it'll be received about as well once people see he posted here at MRP first. you go to most relationshit subs and what you'll find are a bunch of crab in a bucker who are content to be there, but more interested in dragging more people in and filling the bucket more.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I figured I burned my bridge to DB once I posted here. I love the people over at /r/DB but I feel greatly saddened for them. There are so many cases of DB that are exactly like mine in terms of the transition from high to low sex and the time frames they occur (engagement, marriage, kids, etc.). I think there are three camps over a DB in terms of the males that fit my profile. I was somewhere between the first and second camp.

  • I want more sex, but I don't want to put in the effort. These people know generally what needs to be done, they just won't ever do it.
  • I believe everything women tell me they want, so how do I make her happy so I can have more sex?
  • I am so caught up in my own self-loathing I just need somewhere to vent

That said, I likely won't x-post, the post was very targeted to the MRP community. If I were to x-post I would likely tone down a bit of my talk to not scare anyone away. One side of me wants to help people, the other side of me wants less Alphas for competition...... Typing that out... makes me think I am becoming more Alpha lol...

[–][deleted] points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I love the people over at /r/DB

at least someone does.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

LOL I see what you did there :)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I will tell you, I have never had sex in my life up until that point that rivaled the pure passion that comes with baby-making sex.

Amen.

You ever have a woman beg for your seed? Say that she wants to have your babies?

I've never felt more masculine then when my wife hands me a positive pregnancy test.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I have, my wife loves to beg me to cum in her. When we were trying to get pregnant it is a fucking crazy flood of emotion and intensity as they milk every drop out of us.

[–]it_is_not_the_spoon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I still do not know who gilded my post

Me. It was good stuff. This one too.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you sir, the post you made in MRP led me here for good... You have contributed to changing my life for the decisively better.

[–]2ndal2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Come on man. Buy books, don't steal them.

Nice progress though.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did buy some books, including the primary subject's book. I prefer to buy a book after I read it, like a tip, there is so much crap out there these days and the previews only provide so much.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tread lightly w/ other couples. When my wife exhibited the bi-sexual side I simply said "no dudes". We went on to be very successful landing unicorns and spent about 7yrs having threesomes w/ young, single women. But in the early days, it seemed like the only path was to play w/ couples. Just letting you know, that isn't necessary. Put in the work of training your girl how to project a low anxiety sexual confidence and the girls will come. My wife could pull phone numbers and girls on a trip to the bathroom in a club.

[–]HerukaRising1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just wanted to share my personal experience and the main point, that /u/BluePillProfessor should be required reading for any man about to get married.

I have been going through the majority of the books in the sidebar. I also found the BluePillProfessor's book extremely helpful. It explains some of the key concepts used here regularly (e.g., A&A, AM) better than the other books. Also, the whole idea of the progression and also the warnings included were highly informative. I, too, wish that I had read it a bit earlier.

I realize the sidebar book list is not to be tinkered easily. But I think it would make sense to have Saving a Low Sex Marriage included in the Course Prerequisites rather than as the last item in the Red Pill 101.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Completely agree. I am sure he didn't want to look like he was turning the sub into an ad space for his book. However, it is hard to deny that /u/BluepillProfessor sets you up for success in the first 15% of the book. The bettering yourself message and the recommended readings timeline just beg to make his book the first book you read. The ONLY hesitation I would say is that sometimes people aren't ready to hear it. In that case I think "No More Mr. Nice Guy" should be #1 followed by his book.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm keeping in mind the important point that your wife used to originally love sex, which is different from my situation. However, I still want to ask:

What most influenced the change back to your wife wanting sex and even giving excuses, "I'm tired now but can we fuck in the morning?" Was it your ability to maintain a strong frame? Was it you getting a solid layer of muscle? Was it your application of SGM? Did you pass through a phase, when trying to up that Dominance of, "I don't like it when you act like that, stop it?"

I know that the mantra is that when women say they don't want to have sex or they don't like you being dominant/making inuendos they really mean they don't like it when you do that. I saw that attitude change when she used to say, "I don't like muscley guys" and then stroke my muscles when I got big. I've seen mine do some things sexually that I probably would have never imagined in my BP days. That said, she is still shy, introverted, and pulls these "I don't like it when you" lines. And I'm completely OK with her having the opinion that she doesn't like that from me. But I'm getting to a point where my map is taking me into places with opportunity with other women...and though I'm giving my wife first crack at me I am close to feeling like it's time for her to shit or get off the pot. To drop her insecurities, put some interest in fucking, or I'm going to find someone else who will. Not in a spiteful or "get you" kind of way...just matter of fact...I want healthy enthusiastic sex in my life and I'm going to get it one way or another.

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I really see two parts to your question.

  1. What made her beg for sex and apologize when it doesn't happen?
  2. What made her go from sexually adventurous to mom to super sexual?

The first one I can wholly attribute to Dominance in terms of advice from the DEVI method in SGM. Now, this likely won't work for someone already dominant, but I had already done the building muscle, and dressing/maintaining yourself better. Since I am not a strong Dominant person, me applying that dominance in bed kicked up EVI so much more. I am a little concerned that this is short lived with the displays of dominance during sex. I have started applying the dominance in my day-to-day life and it appears to be working quite well. I read another post by /u/BluePillProfessor yesterday regarding a trip to Disney and it really inspired me to just "lead" more in my personal life. The dominance made her beg for it. Hell this morning as I was leaving for work she pulled me to the side and told me how she really needed me to cum in her tonight. It has been 2 days since we had sex... she is quite smitten.

The second I will say I think I have a bit of a head start on you here. My wife enjoyed sexually adventurous things before we got married, nothing like today, but more on the "I am being bad and it feels good" mentality. Today, it is more like "I love my husband and I love exploring wild and crazy sex adventures together". We are in a much better place in terms of jealously and learning that sex is more of the journey and less of the destination. I believe the culmination of all the changes has ultimately spurred her sexual adventurous side. If I had to pinpoint it I would say creating an environment for fantasy (Immersion) to be consistent for a few days changes a lot. Taking my wife on vacation was a turning point for this. After pulling back on the pampering, etc. I basically spoiled her on vacation. I didn't let down on the frame and we even got into a verbal argument, but this was good, she saw that fire and passion from me. That combined with open, kid free, dialog about sex was huge. I basically crushed the social stigma fear that she had. We talked about desires, what turned us on, what turned us off, etc. We communicated. I was basically bouncing between Alpha and Beta just the right way apparently. For her to not only see me be okay with her being slutty, but to encourage it and help her be more "bad" was the greatest turn on for her. I would equate the vacation sex to baby-making sex.

I think you have the right outlook on things. That was my mentality a year and a half ago. All of a sudden things started changing slowly at first, then rapidly. I would attribute a lot of my success at this point to increasing Dominance through family leadership. I no longer look for her opinions on the matter. I fucking lead. Now, if she has an opinion I certainly take it under advisement and do not negate it, but entertain it, if valid. She never wanted to lead, I made her lead because she was the stay-at-home-mom. I really thought that is how it was, she would run the house. I would run expenses and manage income. Boy was I wrong. MRP is a lot of work, but I believe the me I am today is better in every single possible aspect of my life. Good luck to you and I wish you all the success in converting your wife into your loving and sex filled vixen we know exists deep down in almost all women.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

then we have "the talk" with our wives, maybe something comes of it

Temporary at best.

I'd be careful with the couples thing - have seen many stories where the wife starts enjoying the coco carausel toooo much. Don't forget, it's always easier for a chick to get laid that a guy. Always.I'm not saying it's right or wrong - just saying I wouldn't ever let another man fuck my wife- I'd consider that a cuck.

Good write up on your progression though.

[–]mancozbi1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for sharing your story. I read it intensely and found that I have a similar notion about women and, hopefully, after 20 years of marriage, I am making similar changes. I am a feminist - women make just as good engineers, fire fighters, cobblers etc as men, and they deserve equal treatment. But what I didn't realise, is that women want 100% man at home: calm, decisive, strong, the whole package. And, also important, they want dominance in the bedroom. I'm still learning how to do be sexually dominant. Tips are gratefully accepted. Hi 5 and brohug from me, you're an inspiration.

EDIT. What's DEVI technique?

[–]luckie_duckie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

DEVI comes from "The Sex God Method", highly recommended. The D stands for Dominance, which is what you are I are both likely struggling with due to our upbringing/beliefs. It is really hard to change gears from compassionate to dominating and understand that to women it translates into the same thing at different mental states. The book does a fantastic job of helping you walk that fine line between the porn/tv depictions of dominance like BSDM and what you and I can actually bring to the bedroom. Read the book, learn the methods of introducing dominant speech into our bedroom. When I started doing this she went wild. For the next week, every day, she basically tried to setup the same scenario that led to the amazing dominant sex in the first place. I still don't think she realizes what changed she just knows she really liked it. If you asked her, I bet she would tell you I was more vocal.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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