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55

STFU Already (self.marriedredpill)

submitted by ReddJive

There seems to be recent trend of guys just not doing the basics. So I will help out just a little bit, as a hint the search tool is your buddy. Then read the highly up-voted posts and the flared guys stuff.

If you are just getting started STFU is key. You don't do anything with your words. You do it through your actions. Start acting like a little bitch and guess what you are showing?

STFU is important. What we don't really tell you is that it keeps you from looking like a fucktard. Because really you don't know what you are doing.

The primary purpose of STFU is so that you take time to internalize what's going on. You are going to fuck it up. Hopefully if you are doing it right and STFU you don't fuck up badly that you are set back months.

Above all you have to remember this process isn't about her at all. It's about you. Dread isn't about making her guilty to have sex with you. It's about making sure you are a better man and have the options to make it better at the end of it.

Get it out of your head right now that as you increase she WILL respond. That is not necessarily true for one, some people are just shitty and you will come to that realization eventually. Once you do then you can plan accordingly. This is where I am. There are shitty people out there. Some are in your life. Why do you want them there? Jackten's advice rings in my head every damn day.

Every man's path is different. Second, is that if you think increasing dread is the key to your problem then you are still writing contracts. If I go dread level 5 THEN she will like me.

Dread is more about making sure you are a quality man.

MRP saves the man.

You're welcome it took me all of about 5 minutes to find those posts. Do the work.


[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

The amount of men that view the levels of dread as a covert contract to get more sex from their woman is staggering. By the time you are having to go through dread to get your woman to fuck you again, you are more than likely fighting an uphill battle on a hill made of mud. Once a woman has lost attraction for a man, the only CHANCE he has to re-establish attraction is to own his shit and become the highest SMV version of himself that he can become in order to establish himself as a NEW man in her eyes. Then, and only then, is there a CHANCE she may start to view him as a sexual partner again. The problem with this, is there are no fucking guarantees. She may be a fat fuck that is lazy now and has no interest in fucking you even if you looked like Chad Thundercock's dick. You also could have fucked the relationship by being a beta pussy bitch for so long she can never see you as anything else. The Red Pill doesn't exist to give you a perfect sex life with your little snow flake. It is simply the truth of female sexual strategy. OP is spot on. Shut the FUCK up and read ALL of the sidebar multiple times while lifting and getting your nutrition in line. Stop being a butthurt beta bitch and focus on your personal journey. It's the only chance you got. If reading this makes you sad, you probably should have swallowed the blue pill instead.

[–][deleted] points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Listen to this man, he's got upper management written all over him

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I haven't seen his TPS reports yet but he seems pretty solid.

[–][deleted] points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Its a joke from his twitter

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

lmao, and that was a joke from a movie made before you were born

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

actually I was wrong, office space came out in 1999, weird. I would have thought late 80's

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best movie ever. I work at Initech.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Um yeeeeaaaahhh... I'm gonna have you... Go ahead and... Listen to OP

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The amount of men that view the levels of dread as a covert contract to get more sex from their woman is staggering.

I wrote an entire book with that purpose in mind so I accept some responsibility. In fact it was only the edits of /u/Jacktenofhearts, and /u/Strategos_Autokrator, and several others who corrected my own understanding of the 300 page book I had just spent more than 4 months obsessively writing.

Oneitis is a pathological condition and a terrible disease.

The REAL mind fuck? If you run Dread as a covert contract it won't work. I wish I had seen Fight Club before I published my book:

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

It's only when you take her off the pedastal enough to KNOW, not think but really know, that your relationship could die if your improvement fails to meet your needs. You have to KNOW you can and you will leave and permanently stop loving her, and to accept it without pain or anguish but as a simple fact if your reasonable goals in the relationship are not achieved.

There is no covert contract or overt contract. You must dedicate to (at the least) replacing the drunk captain with a strong, reliable captain- and preferably with building yourself into the strongest, most reliable Captain possible who leads his family, leads his life, lifts, looks good, and make good decisions. There is nothing spoken or unspoken. Only actions.

Improvement as a man and a better relationship- or the death of that relationship.

Dread is just a process and it can be used as a tool to rev up a woman's sex drive but at some point in the process the rubber is going to meet the road.

maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And fuck you for loving your wife enough to work so hard you shitlord.

No good deed goes unpunished.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways.”

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some heady compliments for the professor.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have to KNOW you can and you will leave and permanently stop loving her, and to accept it without pain or anguish but as a simple fact if your reasonable goals in the relationship are not achieved.

Yes! The "accepting it without pain or anguish" was the hardest part of this process. I felt the ice growing as it moved through my veins.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

no truer words have been spoken.

[–]Westernhagen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You also could have fucked the relationship by being a beta pussy bitch for so long she can never see you as anything else.

Yeah that's where I am. Increasingly doubtful I'll be able to turn it around. But no going back now...

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

while lifting

I feel like this is the most ignored part of RP culture.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

To be fair, TRP is a sexual strategy. It exists as a means to an end. Maybe MRP takes a different bent on that though?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would counter that TRP is the truth about male and female sexual dynamics that in turn can logically prompt a shift in sexual strategy for those men that seek to maximize their sexual endeavors. TRP itself can actually lead some men to MGTOW and therefore in and of itself is not a sexual strategy, per se.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the main subreddit its stated over and over again that TRP is a sexual strategy. I respect that here things may be different.

[–]470_2_700_nm13 points14 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Yesterday I got home from a family vacation and things disintegrated a little as my wife had a little hissy fit that I was working out in the basement. This was likely due to my lack of leadership in that moment, I should have outlined a plan for the afternoon / evening.

Anyway as I was finishing my workout with three reps left she comes downstairs having already biatched about my not being available and puts our daughter at the door the room where I am working out, huffing some bullshit (my wife that is).

So I engaged my daughter and completed said workout, moved upstairs and finished off dinner with some uplifting music.

When it came time for dinner, I called the family, and wife was slow to move. What did I do? Went over to the couch and picked her clean up off of it, carried her to the kitchen sitting her down at the table. Just like I'd do to my other little girl. She loved it I could tell.

I didn't respond to her shit test, besides i could see it was coming from a place where I had failed to lead.

I STFU, and continued on with my mission, which included handling family duties like dinner prep.

Thank you MRP. Dinner was pleasant. Kids saw Dad lift Mom up like a little girl. Things just can't help but go light after that.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I STFU, and continued on with my mission, which included handling family duties like dinner prep.

exactly. It's all bullshit in the end.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"carried her to the kitchen sitting her down at the table. Just like I'd do to my other little girl. She loved it I could tell."

the oldest teenager in the house.......

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good on you, i like seeing stuff like this in here.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have the contributing men on this sub and the rest of the RP community to thank.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Out of curiosity, does this interruption during your workout happen often?

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Not too much, but I fucking hate it when it does. I have a hard time with OI on this one, as I can't seem to hit my targets as consistently with kids in earshot.
Prolly once to twice a month, and when it does, it comes from a lack of leadership on my part. If she knows I'm going to it, she tries to stay away. However if there is a shit test to be thrown, that's an easy go to for her.

Maybe if I tried imagining their cries to be from an intruder and that that intruder was my workout... Still beta in the end IMO.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hate it too. Near the end of a set and she walks in "feel my side". I snap as I have to drop the weights "don't fuckin do that!". She smiles and walks away. It's a lose/lose man.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think the feel my side is flirting and don't see any problem there.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I call it a "resistance test". As in her resisting my improvements.

Obviously it's all flirting.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah she never likes the improvements out loud rather she will wonder how far will this go? When will these improvements stop improving?

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I had a rough draft but I never posted it

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Clean it up and do so. PM me the draft and I'll critique it for you. Or if it's really good I'll just post it myself.

[–]2ndal7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Importantly, STFU doesn't mean walk around in monk mode not saying anything to anyone ever. In almost every case if you interpret STFU to mean this—especially if you're new to this—you come across as butt hurt and that works heavily against you.

It means, as OP said, acta non verba or actions not words. You don't talk about your improvement, you improve. STFU. You don't talk about your wants and needs and dreams, you act on them. STFU. You don't engage her irrational arguments through verbal logic like you do with your guy friends, you weather her outbursts stoically. STFU. (Or later when you know what you're doing, you can use amused mastery or A&A.)

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you come across as butt hurt

Not to mention autistic.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Jackten's advice rings in my head every damn day.

Miss him

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He has no idea how many lives he impacted.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wonder where he is now

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Being a non-communicative, covert contract carrying nice guy got many men here to begin with.

How a person who knows nothing about communication decides to immediately talk his way out of the hole he dug over an extended period is beyond illogical. It's looking to a female strength to solve a male deficiency.

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Going from

non-communicative, covert contract

to

knows nothing about communication decides to immediately talk

is a disaster waiting to happen, and hilarious and sad at the same time. Like any effective set of tools, RP is dangerous when the user is clueless.

But I disagree with communication being a female strength. When men communicate appropriately - and communication is not just verbal, or even obvious - it can be powerful and extremely effective.

Maybe we're defining communication differently. If you mean communication to be simply talking like women do, then I agree. My point is that men should be mastering all the other forms of communication: non-verbal, physical, communication by omission, power talk, etc.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm simply referring to women being women and engaging in mouth sounds to express feelings and fill time.

Men are obviously capable of learning to communicate effectively, through the means you described, but the Rambo seething with resentment about an unspoken, but implicit to him, "agreement" to fuck should work to be attractive and STFU.

[–]Mecha752 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is so true. I still DEER but i am working on it. Thanks to TRP/MRP i am a much more happier man. My ambitions are slowly returning, my sense of self worth has never been stronger, and my wife has willingly done things with me i never ventured to hope she would. Despite all that, STFU is still something i know i should do, but most times dont.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

STFU is always rule numeral uno is just starting. We talk about passing shit tests but honestly most guys need to just stop failing them first. We can't listen if we are talking.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dread

Agreed, dread has nothing to do with influencing her. It may very well have that side effect. But for the guy, dread is getting you to a point where you will hit the ground running.

[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's about you. Dread isn't about making her guilty to have sex with you. It's about making sure you are a better man and have the options to make it better at the end of it.

This is why the r/thebluepill has such a problem with us. They lampoon the guys who commit yet another covert contract by thinking "Oh if I just dread her up, she'll fuck me." It's deserved frankly.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, Literally Hitler, or even MechaHitler does not deserve their treatment.

I could see it if the sarcasm was sarcasm. But its just vitriol. So while OUR scorn can be deserved, bloopers did not earn the right.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You should see what they did with my domestic violence rants on /r/theredpill . To be fair the Bloop mods de-doxxed me (hugs and kisses to Deputy Snow and the gals). Some of those users thought I was talking directly to them and mocking her own personal sexual assault story. Pathological Solopsism and White Knighting are what cause the vitriol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you put the cat back in the bag.

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm starting a business. I'm meeting with lots of advisors and connections to get it off the ground and make sure it doesn't fall flat on its face. Some of these people I'm meeting with are women. Some of these women are attractive. Sometimes my wife doesn't like that I meet with attractive women, so she asks questions that come across as shitty comfort tests.

STFU is the way to go. Why would I have to adjust my plans - business or otherwise - based on my wife's feelings? Its not even a tactic anymore. I'm fully in my frame and it just doesn't cross my mind to DEER myself.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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