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The kids are sleeping over at their grandparents. The wife is working. Time to break out some Battlefield 1 right? Fuck you. Time to get to work on dread level 7.

Went out to the dance club tonight, first time I've been to one solo in 10 years. You see, I've been getting into EDM lately and have been searching for a location with the right beat to let loose. After pre-gaming at a few places I entered the scene. The plan was to scope out the place, dance with some women and just see what's what in general. A party comes in with about 3 guys and 5 girls. I engage them but it's early and the girls are dancing with each other. Not too long after I meet two of the guys at the bar and learn the following story:

 

One of the guys is here with his wife. The other is currently getting divorced. Both about my age. The soon to be bachelor is telling the hubby how he's buying drinks for the hubby's wife, commanding that she drink them, saying "you're not allowed to put them down". Saying something along the lines of "I know how it feels man, I got you". I cannot help it, I start cracking up. I join in their convo and this dude explains he's getting divorced, that he's having alternate hot ass do things to him now that he's never gotten before. I let the married dude know that his wife is following Mr. Alpha here because he's commanding that she do things, and not asking. And Mr. Alpha goes on to explain the following: "The second you don't care anymore is the second they all jump on your dick.". Gotta admit, the man was exuding confidence. The fucker bought us all a shot, then headed to his VIP area. And last I saw he had a woman on his lap talking into her ear. Meanwhile I locked eyes with a girl and grabbed her hand to head to the floor.

 

Whether the man found the red pill or acquired the tools through his experience with the fallout of marriage/divorce will forever remain to be seen. But there it is gentlemen. Raw and in the field. The second you walk your own path, the second you don't care what path anyone else takes, is the same second the world opens up to you.


[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Regardless of this other man's journey, and his preparation or lack thereof, he added to your journey. But that value was only added because you were able to see it. This story is about you.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man that was deep

[–]iloveairplane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

good point.

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you went to a club and saw people having fun.

I don't see the value here. Even Blue Pill guys can mimic what it takes to hook a girl. Alphas know how to keep them them interested.

As stated this is your story so tells us about you not everyone else.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, at what point do you call it a true (Scotsman) duck.

FireTempered (to my understanding) was saying this is my story as in "this story about someone else shows your progress Gargantuablarg"...not "don't tell us stories about other people".

[–]iloveairplane-3 points-2 points  (46 children) | Copy Link

why do you not have a wingman? better yet a crew? Do you have social proof of your SMV?

I don't frequent clubs, but if we ever went as a group I always thought it a bit creepy the solo guy looking for tail.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

a lot of TRP post recommend gaming solo to prevent rationalizing failure to open because bro reasons.

having a crew is definitely part of the program, but going to a club by yourself and talking to people takes real balls.

I don't frequent clubs

until you have walked the walk, fuck your judgement on creepy

[–]iloveairplane1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

not a judgement - observation. relevant only if he thinks so, disposable if not.

I agree with you about level 6-7 practicing gaming solo, gives a boost of confidence and prevents rationalizing failure. I just think he might have missed developing his social network in levels 1-5.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

To me a wing man is as useless as titts on a man. They just got in my way. I never had any problem joining a table and enjoying their company.

[–]iloveairplane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

NAWALT (not all wingmen are like that) haha.

Hey Daniel Craig never had a problem going alone...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

The entirety of everyone I know lives in BP fantasy land. The mere act of approaching women even though I have a wife draws their ire. If/when I actually befriend a man who will go with me, I'll take him.

Do you have social proof of your SMV?

Are you asking if my actions are validated by other people? Why do I care?

...bit creepy the solo guy looking for tail

You're right, I should stay at home and masturbate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

everyone I know lives in BP fantasy land

This is true for me too….probably a lot of us.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They puke it back at me. No more spooning with the guys……lol

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I don't recommend that ha ha

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Weekly meetings. Really. What do you do during the meetings?

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

FR mostly, and then give each other feedback based on the FR's.

[–]FriedHayek0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I also listen very carefully to the language they use, and nine times out of 10 it is BP.

How do you notice the different shades of language between BP and RP?

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have a BP meter that I secretly carry around

You can get one from Walmart

[–]FriedHayek0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wouldn't trust one from Walmart.

I built my own. But if you don't want to talk improvements to our DIY-built BP/RP-radars, we don't have to.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Curious...where did you meet these guys. Previous friends?

[–]iloveairplane0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, I'm meaning do you a decent sized social network that you get out with and do things? A guy with a high-value is usually surrounded by men who desire to be part of his inner circle. He gets invited to things often and is busy being social.

It might not be explicitly written in the 12 step plan of dread, but during level 1-5 you are building your SMV, building your social circle and getting out more is part of that.

I'm not saying this all to pick something with you - just suggesting that with your EDM interest there might be a meetup or something that you can develop that network. Obviously getting out by yourself is a start.....but if you haven't developed your social circle then going to level 7 will probably result in divorce because she doesn't see you as high-level enough.

Maybe I'm wrong though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not wrong...a little lacking in the research department. Passive dread (the going out, the dressing well, the adjusting my time based on her behavior) has been taken care of over the last year or so. The ring of truth you do have is not having a group of guys with a similar mindset as me who would wing in this situation. My group of friends before RP are still around, due to (insert excuse here) they don't really show effort to get together much anymore, and generally lack in any effort to come out when I make plans (save for the guy I go climbing with weekly). Of course my response is to start branching out to new friends. While I do that, to be sure I keep myself busy with the gym, co-Ed soccer/volleyball/football. I've found some meet ups for running and paintball I'm looking to get into, but currently nothing for EDM or a breakdancing group.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale-2 points-1 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

What about staying at home and making mad, passionate love to your wife when she gets home from work?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What about fuck off back to your knitting circle or whatever

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This assumes she gets home before the sun rises the next morning.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, there is that, but I assume there must be SOME point in the day when their schedules match up!

One of the great things about my boyfriend is that when work gets nutty for me, I can look sometimes look at my calendar and say, "The next three days are gonna be insane, but I don't have to leave for another 45 minutes, so ... You! Pants off!" And he is good to go. :-)

[–]iloveairplane0 points1 point  (21 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you haven't read the 12 step plan of dread, but if he is talking about level 7, then she isn't fucking him like he would like....and since you are a woman you won't consciously know that it doesn't just work the way you described.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale-3 points-2 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Nope, I read the 12 steps of dread, and have a pretty strong suspicion that most men blow right past the self-improvement steps in order to get to the good stuff -- the part where they get to start hitting on strange women, and it's OK because something they read on the Internet told them to!

I would guess that unless the wife in this situation is financially helpless, so saddled with kids or lacking in skills that she has no hope of supporting herself, her reaction is going to be, "Great; not only am I married to a dud, but he's a cheating dud!" You can probably guess what comes next ... (hint: the preponderance of divorces are filed by women).

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

It's not the "good stuff," it's the necessary for his happiness stuff.

You're engaging in fem-speak cherry-picking. I get the "I've been cheated on before" bias, hell I'll offer that as a multiple divorcee you have something to offer in the "anger phase" department.

The problem is, you have contempt for RULE ZERO, and your advice becomes moralistic ranting when our strategy as men is to get fucked well on the regular, with our wives as first choice.

Your simplistic "just fuck when your schedules mesh" is what 99% of guys on the sub would love to do. Find time, initiate, have her be desirous of the advance, have mind-blowing sex, then repeat tomorrow (or later in the day). No shit, Duchess Discernible.

The fact is, something is wrong in the relationship, and as men we take responsibility for that, and if smart, use the praxeology to slowly improve to make ourselves attractive.

Any man looking for an easy way out of the marriage can cheat or ask for a divorce without being RP aware. We don't save or advocate for fucking marriages. WE FIX MEN.

Don't use dread as an excuse for your biases.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

WE FIX MEN

All the women pushing in here do not add anything useful to this endeavor

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ugh, she's admitted to initiating 3 divorces. Cheated on one of them.

She's married when she feels like it. This is why this shit needs to be nipped in the ass. Fucking women don't take an inch. They carefully measure the wood works, break it and crawl right in.

Athol knows all about the next few steps.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. I don't care how much they're "not like other women."

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

to this endeavor

name one endeavor they do add something useful to in the context of being women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Fucking

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

fucking was invented by men. s/

but yea ok, you got one.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I get the "I've been cheated on before" bias

Actually, it's the other way around: none of my husbands were ever unfaithful to me (as far as I know) but I did cheat on one of them. That's how I recognize the progression to infidelity.

I suppose some people plunge into it headfirst -- like getting too drunk at the office party and banging a co-worker atop the copier, LOL -- but for most, I think it's more of a process marked by a lot of denial. You deny that what you're doing is wrong -- it's just harmless fun! -- right up to the point where it is clearly wrong, and then it's too late. Then, whoops, "It just happened!" No, not really.

"What happened" was that you started going out without your mate, and that morphed into going to places where single people hang out. Then you go out alone or with other singles (as the OP pointed out, his married friends would be horrified if he started hitting on strange women around them). You flirt, you dance; sooner or later, you hit on a chick who is DTF and then what happens? Or you get a little too cozy with someone at work, start exchanging emails (innocuous at first), then it's lunch dates, pretty soon it's a motel room. (Ask me how I know this, LOL.)

Now, getting your dick polished (or your pussy pumped) may make you feel better, sure, but it's not going to fix your marriage. I've written about that elsewhere; click on my recent post history if you're interested; right now I gotta go to work. Have a nice day!

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A doe, a DEER, a Feeeemale DEER.

I'm a married man in my 40's. Thanks for taking the time out to explain to me how infidelity happens.

Now, getting your dick polished may make you feel better, sure, but it's not going to fix your marriage.

WE DON'T FIX MARRIAGES. WE FIX MEN.

Understand RULE ZERO, or don't "contribute," it's that simple.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I think we're kinda on the same page here ... what I've been trying to say all along is that if you guys fix yourselves, the marriage problems will probably take care of themselves.

Believe it or not, most women would be really happy to be married to a manly man! It's the overgrown adolescent boys who are a turn-off.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You should should write out your steps to getting a married woman to fuck you.

It might be helpful .

Everything else is can go back to relationship sub where you can get some support for feeling unwanted by your husband and fucking other guys.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ehh, that all happened years ago and it probably worked out for the best in the end. Lessons learned!

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

lmao,

Yeah it takes two to tango, but one lead and one just happened. The solipsism is strong with this one. I guarantee the guy attached to that dick you got pumped with had a premeditated plan all along. Ask me how I know? Actually don't.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Mmm, a premeditated plan? No more or less than I did. Let's just say I wore my fancy underwear, lol.

(BTW guys, if you sleep with a woman for the first time and she's wearing ugly granny panties, give yourself a pat on the back -- you actually seduced her! Otherwise ... .... ...heh.)

And, guy, singular? I had a nice selection of FWBs from before I was married, some of whom were still unattached. It wasn't difficult to reopen old connections. Very risk-free; no drama, no worries about either of us getting too attached.

Now, this ain't something I'm proud of. If I had it all to do over, I'd have just left him, made a clean break of it, but then my life would have taken a different course and I might not be where I am today, which is a really cool place! And my ex-husband remarried and seems happy with his current wife as far as I can tell from Facebook, so maybe things worked out the way they were supposed to. Who knows?

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

she's wearing ugly granny panties, give yourself a pat on the back

ok, i will

FWBs

yeah, they're the best

everybody seems happy from Facebook, doesn't mean shit, but yes everything works out (squeak . . . )

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A P.S.

Your simplistic "just fuck when your schedules mesh" is what 99% of guys on the sub would love to do. Find time, initiate, have her be desirous of the advance, have mind-blowing sex, then repeat tomorrow (or later in the day). No shit, Duchess Discernible.

Obviously I was being a bit facetious here; my point (which appears to have been too subtle) was that maybe he should try being such an awesome man and husband that his wife will be happy to fuck him whenever possible?

If he wants to know how to do that, he could ask my boyfriend, or, y'know, read the sidebar.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

the preponderance of divorces are filed by women

do your research, the reason listed by the preponderance of women boils down to ILYBIANILWY anymore; not infidelity.

[–]2gunsgetsomeMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

but if we ever went as a group I always thought it a bit creepy the solo guy looking for tail.

Yep, the solo guy looking for tail is a bit creepy. But the attractive, confident guy enjoying himself because he likes the music/scene/whatever? Everyone is at least open to meeting that guy because he brings energy to the conversation.

[–][deleted] -3 points-3 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

what the fuck is this shit?

what wife was doing when she is not with OP is irrelevant. what wife does with OP may be relevant. working does not make wife special.

follow rule zero or get the fuck out

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (39 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, guess maybe I overreacted. See I work evenings, and it wouldn't sit too well with me if my BF were out dancing with other women while I was busting my ass for the good of our partnership. The compromise wouldn't be acceptable! But every couple strikes their own bargains, and for all we know, the OP may be down with his wife heading out to boogie with strange men in bars, too. More power to 'em I guess!

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (38 children) | Copy Link

See I work evenings,

yeah, I knew that. Your projecting was clear as day.

busting my ass for the good of our partnership

Be mindful of those covert contracts.

his wife heading out to boogie with strange men in bars

maybe he is, but let's not equate two things that are not at all the same. she might "accidentally" fall on some strange dick. no way is OP accidentally falling into a strange hole.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale1 point2 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

I'm 50 and haven't "accidentally" fallen on a strange dick yet! Although that reminds me of a funny story a Jewish friend told me. Apparently in the Torah there is a rule for what to do if a man with an erection falls off a roof and "accidentally" penetrates a woman laying on the ground below. Now, one wonders how that rule came to be, LOL ...

But I digress. I'd say the OP is on a pretty good trajectory to "accidentally" meet a pretty dance partner and perhaps get caught up in an affair. I can't see that improving his marriage much, although once again, maybe his wife wouldn't care and/or is pursuing her own options on the side. Who knows? Not the way I'd want to live but once again ... free country. shrug

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (34 children) | Copy Link

Did you ever go fishing? Heard of catch and release? You get all the fun of fishing but don't go home with that fish smell all over you. Everybody has fun, even the fish.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale1 point2 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

If having fun is the OP's goal, more power to him ...

I don't see how what he's doing is going to improve his marriage, but maybe that's not his goal. So be it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

You've been married 4 times. You've failed 3 times at improving your marriageS. So you, of all people, should be able to get that he can only improve himself.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale1 point2 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

Hitting on other women is not self-improvement, in my books. More like shopping for an affair partner!

Self-improvement would include stuff like lifting, improving your grooming/appearance, and buckling down at work and at home instead of being a slacker. Man up, be a leader, set goals for your family, don't make your wife nag you to pick up your socks or take out the trash. Set an example for your kids, teach them stuff, mold their character.

That's self-improvement! Unfortunately, most of that stuff is either difficult or not very much fun. Hitting on strange women in bars is fun, though! So he's deluding himself into thinking that's going to solve his problem.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Investing a little more in the willows because "You! Pants off!" kinda chubbed me up a little.

If your gonna CONTRIBUTE in this sub, you need to study the sidebar. In particular, you would not be asking ridiculous statements like "Hitting on strange women in bars is fun, though!".

If you studied the sidebar, you would know that Abundance Mentality the cornerstone of confidence, IDGAF, and having an alpha mindset. A confident man with options is an attractive man. Some guys just got this (aka "naturals"), and some guys have to work at and prove it. This is Dread Level 7.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I gotta ask. How many times did you initiate divorce?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

"Don't confuse me with the facts!" - said all women everywhere

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

more like, " don't tell me facts that I can not use to make myself feel better"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dah. He needs to learn the social skills to be attractive to women and his wife is a woman, I think.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe he should practice on his wife instead of other women?

Because when he gets caught having an affair (it'll happen), no way is his wife gonna buy the excuse that he was just practicing his "social skills" in order to be more attractive to her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is an echo in here. Done.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

ARALT

When you do fall on dick , who normally makes that "happen"; you or him?

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ever heard the old saying, "It takes two to tango"?

[–]ProudGazelle1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

and here you are again, why dont u just stay out of subreddits if all youre going to do is troll the community. is trolling really the best thing youve got going on at 50 and 4 marriages.

[–]RPAlternate42MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yikes... 4? That's already 3 red flags out the door.

I feel like each successive husband is more clueless than the one before.

[–]Willow-girlFeemale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No I just kept doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results!

Country girls shouldn't marry city guys, for one it really freaks them out when they get manure on their fancy shoes. lol

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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