I have been putting this review together for a few days. I wanted to talk a little bit about this book THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK by Mark Manson. A great book, one that should be on your reading list. I also personally believe that Mr. Manson is here among us on MRP. I have read many posts that are reflected in this book.

So Mr. Manson believes that the fundamental problem of our society is that we care about everything. That everything in this world requires a call to action, that if you don't have a fervent belief that everyone opposite of you is evil and wrong then you just aren't a human being.

“The idea of not giving a fuck is a simple way of reorienting our expectations for life and choosing what is important and what is not.” --Mark Manson

Far too often I read newbies coming in saying they don't GAF about this that or the other thing. I think they are missing it. To not give a fuck is more then just ignoring, or letting it happen while you do your own thing. It is literally your display of unimportance. Whatever you are no GAF about is literally not important....it doesn't matter.

Mr. Manson postulates that when we care about everything then nothing is really that important. Manson also points out, as MRP also does, that Alpha Men care. BUT it's WHAT we care about that is of vital importance. When we care, as alpha men, it should be a signal to all around us that this one thing is vitally important. If it has caught our attention, then the fires of hell about to rein down. This is the attitude that you want to cultivate. Start pulling back on what you do and don't care about. Just as you nurture your time you must also nurture what you care about.

“Because when we believe that it’s not okay for things to suck sometimes, then we unconsciously start blaming ourselves. We start to feel as though something is inherently wrong with us, which drives us to all sorts of overcompensation, like buying forty pairs of shoes or downing Xanax with a vodka chaser on a Tuesday night or shooting up a school bus full of kids. This belief that it’s not okay to be inadequate sometimes is the source of the growing Feedback Loop from Hell that is coming to dominate our culture.” --Mark Manson

There are evil people in this world. I see them every day. You can't solve nor care enough about it. It is a bottomless hole that will consume everything. It's why social workers in my area burn out so quickly or become jaded. They loose thier emotions to that soulless monster. So why bother? Why bother caring about how she feels every fucking day. She has emotions, and they are normally at the extreme all the time. Why care? Why bother? There are times I will indulge my woman in her emotional turmoil but I am quick to stop and say.

"I am done talking about that. What color panties are you wearing?"

It's abrupt, sharp, and shocking to her. But it has the desired effect. First is that I don't GAF about whatever she was talking about, but I do care about her, I listened, gave feedback, but then switched to something else about her that is more whimsy. More sexual. She does want to feel needed and sexy. Even if she isn't' suddenly a purring kitty in your hands.

It doesn't have to be sexual. Sometimes I will just say. "This has run it's course....tell me a funny story." or "Tell me what Little 1 did today." You cannot overinvest in her emotions, but you have to listen to them.

Finally Manson codifies a law that best sums up a man's path either to Red Pill or to Blue Pill

He calls it Manson's Law of Avoidance. I quote:

“Chances are you’ve heard some form of Parkinson’s law: “Work expands so as to fill up the time available for its completion.” You’ve also undoubtedly heard of Murphy’s law: “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.” Well, next time you’re at a swanky cocktail party and you want to impress somebody, try dropping Manson’s law of avoidance on them: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. That means the more something threatens to change how you view yourself, how successful/unsuccessful you believe yourself to be, how well you see yourself living up to your values, the more you will avoid ever getting around to doing it. There’s a certain comfort that comes with knowing how you fit in the world. Anything that shakes up that comfort—even if it could potentially make your life better—is inherently scary.” --Mark Manson

I have become a great admirer and reader of the Stoics during this journey. Seneca said it

It either finishes you or transforms you.

Your Red Pill journey will do just that. You will die on the anvil and come back forged anew OR you will scurry away back to your blue pill self...more deeply entrenched then before.

If you are unplugging and having a hard time understanding how not to GAF I recommend this book. It is a fun read, and insightful. it will also help turn into less of a prick when not GAF and help you to understand that GAF is more about carefully considering what's important rather considering what isn't.