TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

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Hello all,

I posted here last week about adapting red pill theories to a lesbian relationship. Specifically, how to cut Lesbian Bed Death off before it becomes an issue. First off, THANK YOU to all you folks who took so much time to write me detailed responses.

TL;DR: I'm a lesbian starting to apply TRP to my relationship. I'm starting small, but hoping small changes now will help me avoid a dead bedroom in the future, and overall improve my ability to have a healthy relationship. Input greatly appreciated.

LESBIAN BED DEATH

For those of you who don't know what lesbian bed death is, allow me to explain. Every single lesbian I have ever met has either experience this themselves, or knows plenty of people who have. Here's what happens: sometimes as quickly as a few months or a few years in, lesbians will get trapped in a cycle of non-initiation of sex. Each one is waiting for the other to take charge, and it often just never happens. It lacks the crushing resentment or disgust of when a woman stops fucking her man. The lesbians will often still be VERY attracted to each other, but completely paralyzed to act on it. Obviously other dead bedrooms are related to a partner getting lazy and unattractive--those are not what I'm addressing.

What I intend to investigate is how appealing to red Pill theories can help with this power struggle, and eventually lead to more consistent sex between lesbians.

Be clear: I'm not saying that dead bedrooms necessarily happen more often to lesbians. But this type of non-initiation rut is SO COMMON for many lesbians. Where both know they "should" be having sex, but breaking out of a rut requires acknowledging the rut in the first place. And acknowledging the rut seems like it'll just be more painful than ignoring it. PLEASE let me know if any of you guys experience this so I can amend my theory, but I've never heard of this exchange happening in a heterosexual relationship long-term.

THE DETAILS

I'm 26 Femme, athletic and dominant, and she's 28, butch, chubby and much less dominant. We don't follow a typical "butch/femme" paradigm, but when push comes to shove, I'm the rock. She doesn't like making decisions at home.

Work: I work in college athletics as an assistant coach on an all-female staff. I plan on applying these skills there as well. My other two coaches are typical "I can't make a decisions what do you think" women. And I'm done letting their indecision and poor leadership slow me down.

Reading: NMMNG. Fascinating stuff. I feel like he's narrating my life.

Fitness: I run, play sports, and occasionally do body weight workouts. I'm already objectively have higher SMV than my partner, but I plan on continuing to be in shape. Never let yourself get comfortable right?

Relationship: we've been together a while, but we're currently long distance (1200 miles) for the next 7-8 months. We see each other every weekend however, so it's just a mild annoyance.

I absolutely adore her--she's a wonderful partner. But I see some red flags of lesbian bed death, and I want to cut that off before it becomes a real thing. Sex is somewhat inconsistent. When we're having it, it's 8-10 times a week. When we're not, we might go an entire half a month without a passionate physical moment.

My few qualms with our non-physical relationship, as I see now, are simply stemming from me failing shit/comfort tests. It's her getting a little needy or a little bitchy (PMS and otherwise). Me letting myself mirror that behavior. It's nice to have some answers on that front. Overall no real complaints other than the inconsistent sex.

I believe red pill will help me uncover some of the inner workings of why some weeks I can't keep her off me, and others I can't get her legs open with pliers. It will also help me own my shit better, help me get my needs met without being a twat about it, and help deal with her when she gets fussy.

SELF IMPROVEMENT AND RESULTS

Behaviors I've adjusted in the past couple weeks:

  1. No more apologizing when getting my needs met or giving directions.

  2. Tease her more.

  3. Be available on MY terms during the week when we aren't together.

  4. Use more direct language when speaking to her. Less qualifiers and qualifying statements.

  5. Be slightly less verbally affectionate during the week when we are apart.

  6. Starting to take note of and identify comfort/shit tests. I am not actively doing anything about them yet...just not feeding into them or off them like I used to. STFU, self, STFU.

  7. I planned our date next weekend from top to bottom without asking for input, which is very outside the box for me. Small victories, guys!

Results:

  1. She has been putting way more effort during the week to reach out and connect. Lots of sweetness.

  2. She's been asking for my advice on things almost every other day.

  3. She's been flirting a lot more, uninitiated by myself.

  4. I feel less crazy haha

  5. I am WAY less anxious.

  6. I'm sticking up for myself more. Good results had.

  7. Shit at work is running much more smoothly. The team is performing really well, unknown whether that has anything to do with me. More data needed.

CONCLUSIONS

Me embracing that I'm more dominant is resulting in a lot of great things in my relationship and at work. Much appreciation to you guys for taking the time to talk things out with me.

I'm really interested to see how TRP has to be modified (if at all) to suit a relationship where no one who identifies as a man. If you have any ideas about this, throw them out! I have a couple of ideas:

  1. Dread game may have to be adjusted. I'm thinking the emotional might be more effective than the physical. This is very situation-dependent, but mildly withdrawing affection might make a bigger impact than starting to lift. Especially if the partner is into feminine women. But I suspect most of it can remain the same.

  2. If I were a butch, I think I'd be able to "man up" more in order to be more attractive. But I'm not, so that ideal may have to be adjusted accordingly. We're lesbians for a reason--we LOVE women. So either of us trying to un-woman ourselves would probably not be advisable.

  3. I am wondering if shit/comfort tests will change, based on the different gender dynamic.

I look forward to hearing your ideas and feedback--both positive and negative. Thanks!


[–]sexyshoulderdevil 21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Personally, I would like you to stick around and give field reports to hear a woman's point of view while implementing the masculine imperative of the red pill praxeology. In theory, you accepting and implementing these methods successfully on your girlfriend should have a snake-eating-itself effect. Unlike a man, you will be innately aware that the these techniques COULD also be used on you with a similar effect. Maybe...you are of course gay so there are some differences.

In short, feed me more... I'm curious.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Clearly I'm curious too! I'll try to keep the best track I can. My plan is to stick with this set of adjustments for a while and see what happens.

What I do find interesting, is that she does display a couple of the elements of dread game...she is always improving herself and is a shameless (but harmless) flirt. And now I recognize that a lot of my spikes in desire happen around the times when she does these things. It still happens even though I'm aware of it.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Her being attractive equals your attraction even if you can put a name on the underlying machinations.

Plastic surgery often still works on men (heck, maybe you too) even if they're fully aware of what was done. For example, as long as I can touch them, all boobs are real. I love boobs.

[–]JaneeCathartica 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Needed to read this

[–]grubek 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The funny thing about basic instincts is that even if we know why we still want them. Learning and understanding them only makes you better at playing the game, it doesn't allow you to stop playing it or giving you the power to change your instincts at will.

[–]plein_old 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lesbian bed death... Every single lesbian I have ever met... Each one is waiting for the other to take charge

Fascinating.

I don't know what to tell you. At least not within the bounds of what you are saying. Good luck!

[–]bogeyd6 14 points15 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

You know. I was doubtful on your first post. This is a little outside my zone of expertise but I can offer this. In any relationship there is a feminine and a masculine and assigning whatever to whatever you want. One way or the other, any group of humans requires a leader or initiator to use your terminology. A homosexual relationship doesn't lack those requirements, as much as the sjw's would hate to admit. Someone steps up or you both step off.

My advice is to take the route of the masculine and keep on going like you are, adjusting as you see fit for your dynamic. If you see yourself as the "man" then all these things are going to fall into place as long as you act one in your unique situation.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 6 points6 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Doubtful of which part--that it would work, or that I was serious about following through with it?

You and I are in agreement on those things. In any group of humans there has to be somebody that steps up and fills the leadership void. This evident in both my personal and professional life.

I suspect that some of the adjustments made will reflect the fact that since I am not a man, my partner's default view of me may not be one of disrespect. That could be overly optimistic, but we'll see. But going forward, in the interest of remaining scientific, I cannot deny that variable might make a difference.

[–]bogeyd6 2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I think its like any relationship dynamic so to speak. No one gets together on mutual disrespect and decides to make a go of it. It creeps in over time because of reasons. Typically you are looking at one person is doing most things and if you are that person, you lose respect for the other. My doubtful was your story and willingness to stick through it. I can admire anyone who takes a stand and decides what they want.

Check out the other subs like /r/redpillwomen and /r/theredpill. You are pretty much out on a branch here so good luck and god bless.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Oddly enough, I've tried both those other subs and weren't exactly met with...uh, respectful welcomes.

Nobody gets together out of mutual disrespect, but women are conditioned to be mildly disrespectful to their boyfriends/husbands. To gain the upper hand. The "modern woman" in me would love to deny this, but I can't. I've noticed this regrettable behavior in my relationships with men--behavior that I haven't noticed when I was with women. So we'll see if I notice anything worthy of reporting on that front.

To be fair, I wasn't personally sure if I wanted to follow through! So your doubt was reasonable. But after trying stuff for a couple weeks, there's definitely some thing of value occurring.

Thanks for your feedback!

[–]BluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

women are conditioned to be mildly disrespectful to their boyfriends/husbands. To gain the upper hand.

Only "mildly" you say?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]VigilantRedRooster 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Check out the other subs like /r/redpillwomen

Oddly enough, I've tried both those other subs and weren't exactly met with...uh, respectful welcomes.

RPW Mod here. This can't have been recently, and with this username. You'll probably find us straight, but not narrow when it comes to discussing sexual strategy in a Red Pill frame.

Even if you don't come over there, thanks for your sharing your perspective in MRP, it's been interesting to read.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You are correct--it was maybe two years ago, and under a different name I believe. I'm happy to try again! Never know where you're going to find good ideas.

I wonder what y'all take would be since while I am female, I am not aiming at the same presentation as a red pill wife. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

[–]VigilantRedRooster 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It can only help refine our praxeology of sexual and power dynamics, to break down and test the various elements in a FF relationship platform. Dependent and independent variables and all of that. There are a few MtF trans lurkers there; I personally find it interesting to see them working harder to improve their femininity than many cis-females do!

RPW has had a new mod team for almost 6 months; systemic problems you may have encountered before that probably don't exist there now.

[–]Livecrazyjoe 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

This sub gets alot of troll posts. Some are really bad while others you have to read through the lines to figure it out. Maybe thats why at first your post may have been met with doubt.

This post is fascinating. Ive been wondering about a gender dynamic like yours. Do women realize that they give shit tests? What happens when its two women? Awesome read, thanks for sharing this and keep on posting.

[–]RPAlternate42 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she mentions easter candy I'm going to shit myself.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

First off, just let me say that "Lesbian Bed Death" would be a great name for a metal band.

A couple things come to mind. First, I'd echo what /u/RPSigmaStigma mentioned about reading "Way of the Superior Man". It explains the masculine-feminine energy concept that u/bogeyd6 also touched on in a very thorough way.

I'm not entirely surprised that NMMNG resonated with you. Not just because you're the more masculine energy in the relationship, but because it's a lot of basic psychology applicable to partners of any sex. It just happens that a lot of the patterns involved are ten times easier for men to fall into that for the hetero woman to fall into. But the underlying mechanics are pretty universally applicable. As a side note, if you find the psychological patterns people fall into interesting, you should check out the book "Games People Play" by Eric Berne. Really interesting.

What interests me more is the description of LBD and your take on it as being a standoff of two mutually timid and powerless feeling people. This is pretty significantly different than the standard MF dynamic, as I know you realize, and it's interesting to see how the MRP approach affects this problem. I can't really envision a mutual standoff like that (except as a psych exercise) and it would seem to me that all one person has to do is break the ice and boom, problem solved. Or maybe keep breaking the ice. But you don't describe the problem as trying to break the ice and getting shot down, hard, repeatedly, until you are nothing more than a bitter shell of resentment and anger, so it seems like a much more tractable problem to solve. Not so much a power struggle, as much as a a mutual lack of taking that power. (Maybe a power vacuum struggle?)

My take on your success so far applying the MRP is that you're fixing as many underlying issues as you can that have a tendency to make you unattractive and annoying. The indecisiveness, the inability to express your own needs and wants, the removal of guilt and passive aggressiveness as a manipulation tool, and so on and so forth. Plus amping up your fun, sexy, flirtatious side. Fixing those "character flaws" would seem to have a pretty universal applicability, not just to us hetero men.

So in a lot of ways, based on your description, I see your personal transformation (for want of a better term) and LBD as less tightly interwoven as the dead bed and the destructive personality patterns are in a M-F relationship. Which is neither a good thing or a bad thing, just an observation.

I'm glad to hear you're making progress in your relationship. I didn't hear you mention the ten-second kiss; that seems like even a simple step like that would help break the LBD icejam.

The one thing I'd caution you on is the fact that this is now a long distance relationship. Even though it's a stereotypical movie trope that "it's just something to power through but we made it at the end", it adds a lot of changes to the dynamic. You can't be flirty and sexual in person anymore for an extended period of time, there's lots of opportunity for dark reflection (damn... stuck here without her, is this really worth it) and so on. And conversely, don't take the frantic high-volume every-other-weekend catch-up sex as an indication that everything is solid. Don't underestimate the effects that long distance and absence can have. This isn't a specifically redpill idea, it's just that RP'ers tend to have a more cynical (realistic?!?) view of the effects of letting a realtionship "coast along" at arms length versus active involvement.

Best of luck and I'm looking forward to more about how things go as you follow the new path. Keep us in the loop.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I like that--a power vacuum struggle. And yes, your assertion that SOMEBODY just needs to keep breaking the ice is correct. Basically, what it boils down to, is that I need to feel more confident in initiation, and realize that I am NOT powerless. She will initiate and when she does we have a lot of sex, but then I need to pick up the slack when she's not actively peeling my clothes off.

I only get shot down occasionally when she's not feeling well or super tired. It's not often or stupid enough to be butt hurt about.

Noted about the way of the superior man. I'll put that on my list. Also Games People Play. Yes, I love psychology. In fact, I typed out a theory about emotionally driven behaviors and coping skills in relation to women's poor relationship habits. It's up a couple comment nests I think. If you like that stuff I'd love your feedback.

What is this ten second kiss thing?

On my transformation: I agree. These annoying traits needed extinguishing years ago.

On distance: this is a great point. You mention frantic weekend sex. But what happens sometimes is that we both feel SO much pressure to have a ton of sex, that we have a sex standoff all weekend! Like we both act like GIANT pussies and dance around initiation, and then talk about how we wish we had more sex at the end of the visit. It's like we get fucking performance anxiety about initiating. We know we "should" be having sex, and we want to. Like we'll literally talk about it during the day about how much we want to fuck. And then we both pussy out.

If it's an extended visit, usually by the third day we're fine (because the perceived pressure is gone), but....wtf? That's what I'm talking about when I'm seeing "red flags" of LBD. When push comes to shove, someone is going to have to man up and initiate when we're normal distance too. And I'm the one wearing the proverbial dick so...guess that's me!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

As far as your theory goes, it basically boils down to

Women think that their feelings are facts--they're not.

Yeah, this is something RP has been saying for a long time. Guys tend to view the world more solidly, more long term stability, in truth and absolutes, and it confuses a lot of guys how a woman says X one day then says not-X the next day. Guys often view this as flighty, as "lying", as intensely frustrating. The MRP take is to add the suffix "...right now" to anything a woman says. "I don't like sex" actually means "I don't like sex right now". And so on. Deida's WOTSM talks a lot about this, but he adds a lot more flowery language around it. And basically suggests guys learn to have fun with it, embrace that fact, and not take so much stuff as a long term personal affront. I can't think of any classic manosphere articles describing this but it's been talked about a lot here.

The ten second kiss is a piece of stock advice we give. At some point every day, just give her a long ten-second passionate kiss. It doesn't need to lead to sex, it doesn't have to count as initiation, and don't get upset if it's not necessarily improving the mood. It's just an actionable, simple thing to do to remind yourselves that the relationship is inherently sexual, not just a friendship or roommates relationship. It's also a way to decouple the "anything sexual has to lead to sex and then butt-hurt when I'm denied" feedback loop that exists in a lot of M-F relationships. Just a tactical strike, then you're gone. But hey, if it leads to something, then that's great too. For you, it might just help clear the icejam a little when or before it builds.

About the distance - the three day thing isn't a good sign. You're both sitting there building up some feeling like "hey, I've been denied for two weeks, so I deserve to have you want me more now that we're together". And you both sit there expecting the other to initiate and then you wind up spending every night watching reruns of Three's Company until 3 a.m. then both consolingly telling each other "you look so tired... go to bed hun" and snuggling together in an asexual but comfortably victimized and self-justified way.

One thing RP says is that men have to bite the bullet and get used to the idea that they need to initiate 90% of the time, and get used to the idea that sex won't happen every time and so don't get wound up about it if it fails. Sounds like you're seeing this applies to you as well. So just strap on that dick. Run over there without a second to lose and what comes next just bust a move.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

The ten second kiss thing makes sense. Decoupling sex from sexual moments is something I've thought a lot about. That's one really good idea to add to the list.

I'm dying at your description of our standoff, because that's uncomfortably close to what happens. But honestly this is on me, I need to just strap on my big girl dick and just get used to initiating.

[–]Persaeus 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's so complicated for y'all. When I see a flash of T&A or I brush up against her my dick gets hard and I initiate. Zero thinking involved. I just want it a lot , when I was 26 like every 10 seconds.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Fascinating. I'll try to tamp down the adolescent inside me that's dying to get out and try to offer something useful.

How long is "awhile" and is the long distance aspect to your current situation your prime motivator here?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's probably apt. We are essentially turning this chick into a dick. And no surprise, working like a charm

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Does that mean I won't need the one in my dresser drawer anymore? 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you really want my opinion on whether you need a plastic dick?

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link

Well, if you think it's useful, I'd love to hear it.

A while is 6 months, known each other a lot longer. We're talking about marriage, which I very much want. If it is with her--awesome! If not, then I've finally addressed the issues that have plagued me in other relationships anyway. I will not take that step however until this stuff is worked out.

The distance itself is not what prompted this. The distance did however exacerbate the issues surrounding the inconsistent sex that had been happening prior to her move (for work). Those issues are what prompted this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Ok if I understand you correctly you're saying that "awhile" means you've been together as a couple for six months and you're already seeing red flags of of dead bed and you want to get married? Here's my advice. Don't get married.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Younger me would have deemed this a "relationship problem". Older me realizes it's a "me problem." Therefore controllable and adjustable.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Look at that... You've already accepted the mindset that you're the one to fix. Stick with that, kiddo. Kiddette? MRPette? I've confused myself. Two vaginas...so confused.

Edit: I've enjoyed watching this comment be upvoted and downvoted. But I'll DEER myself and clarify for those who can't read my flair: I'm fucking around because I'm a sarcastic pain the ass...with a heart of gold, naturally.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

It's not your typical "dead bed". It's not a lack of attraction. It's a lack of escalation on both our parts.

Your relationship is not special. You are not special. She is not special. There are no unicorns.

Whether it's "typical" or not, it is a DB by your standards. You are your only judge. If this relationship remains like this and wears on you, and she does nothing to improve it, then you have decisions to make. This is your first example of how the RP breaks down for women when they treat it like men: We have the ability to walk away because women are interchangeable. Wife doesn't want to wife? Fine, I can find a new girl who can wife.

Older me realizes it's a "me problem."

And know that if you change, improve, and do everything right, she may not do anything different and you then have to make decisions based on your level of happiness.

Can you find a new girl who can wife, if need be, or is your special snowflake your special one-and-only true love unicorn?

[–]Persaeus 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

We have the ability to walk away because women are interchangeable.

Yes they are; but given the context are you implying that women do not see men as interchangeable to the same degree?

[–]RPAlternate42 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Nope.

Men are loyal to women that treat them right; if they fuck us good, are feminine, submissive, and altogether pleasant to us, we will ignore age, fading beauty, and even some weight gain because she has earned that loyalty over time.

On the other hand, how many divorce stories do you know where a loyal husband loses his job and she wants a divorce or she finds a better prospect and wants a new husband despite her current husbands loyalty?

We're both interchangeable, but a man has more loyalty, so we weigh are partners heavier the longer they've been good to us. A woman will end a 10 year marriage over a dicking she had once.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I would like to suggest a theory that may start to explain some of the flightiness and other annoying behaviors you guys deal with:

Women think that their feelings are facts--they're not. Sometimes it's just chemicals and your feelings means nada. Nothing. And very few of us ever learn to distinguish actual feelings from secondary reactions, and emotionally driven behaviors.

Example:

Jill feels like her relationship with her husband is stale and doesn't feel like she loves him anymore.

Primary emotion: shame or disappointment over this revelation and her role in it.

Secondary reaction: blame the relationship or the husband for causing the shame/disappointment.

Emotionally driven behavior: cheat on, try to "fix" or leave the husband.

This schema is sometimes used to explain eating disorders and other bad coping skills. When you fail to recognize the primary emotion and deal with it, you never actually relieve yourself of that burden. You engage in emotionally driven behaviors related o the secondary reaction to provide a short burst of relief from the shame/disappointment (or whatever).

In this case, if Jill simply dealt with the shame or disappointment caused by her initial thought, she could recognize her own role in the situation. But by immediately jumping into the secondary reaction, she sees the "problem" as that secondary feeling. The problem is then the husband, rather than the staleness. Thus the solution becomes replacing the husband, not fixing herself.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

if Jill simply dealt with the shame or disappointment caused by her initial thought

If wishes were horses...

We are all well aware of this phenomenon; we call it the hamster.

The hamster spins in her wheel drumming up rationalizations for her experiences and feelings.

my relationship with my husband sucks. It doesn't feel like he loves me anymore. Maybe it's my fault because... no! It's his fault! He's the one doing this to me! A real man wouldn't treat me like this!

This is classic hamster. We like to use this to our advantage. The hamster doesn't like it when the husband is independent, when he improves, when he shows backbone... because he must be cheating on me. The hamster reacts by getting huffy, a little shitty, withholding sex, and altogether being shrewy. When the husband reacts by not reacting... with complete indifference (after all the more shrewy wife isn't much worse than the previous shrew wife, so nothing changed for him... but the hamster has cooked up infinity+1 rationalizations about the whole thing. And the hamster hates indifference... it solidifies the idea that he has options so he must be cheating. Then finally the hamster gets tired... the wheel spins down. She goes to her husband, submissive, happy, and loving. He initiates, they have sex, and she is happy... the hamster purring in the corner of the cage, nestled and warm. He pays attention to her, tell her he loves her (because he does), sits with her, cuddles with her, makes her feel like a little girl again. If she continues, he continues, if she stops, he goes IDGAF and the hamster starts the wheel again.

Relationships are a form of the prisoner's dilemma, except that both parties are free to interact and the outcomes are binary rather than being variably quantified. In our version of it, the man is the one who should always be reactive tot he other "prisoner."

Our shrew wife example has her being "mean." Her husband, not feeling close to her as a result of her behavior, withdraws affection, attention, and time. This is his way of being mean. She is actively pushing him away, and he simply stops paying attention to her behavior. When her hamster runs itself ragged, and she decides to be "nice", the husband reacts by also being nice: cuddles, hugs, kisses, attention, conversation.

RP: Scenario 1: When she is nice, he is nice, and everyone is happy.

RP: Scenario 2: this is the part that deviates from the Prisoner's Dilemma: When she is mean, he is nice only not nice to her. He isn't mean to her, he just isn't nice.

Scenario 3: When she is mean, he is mean and no one is happy.

BP: Scenario 4: When she is nice, but he is mean, no one is also happy here either.

BP: Scenario 5: She is mean and he is still nice to her (nicer in some cases).

Being mean for him means actively trying to hurt, at worst, or being argumentative. This is where RP succeeds where BP-type relationships do not. When she is shrewy and angry and trying to argue, the BP man argues back (being mean.) Both are being mean and no one wins. The other BP failure is when she is mean (like withholding sex or denying sex) and he ups his nice game by doing choreplay or some such and she continues being mean. At first, it seems like everyone is happy, but really he is not, and she is not because she's with a guy she doesn't like much who tries to have sex with her and he is with a shrew he is pretending to like.

In RP, we limit ourselves to scenario 1 and 2: in both cases the man is always happy and she has to be nice in order to also be happy. For me it's poetic: feminism wants the woman to control her own happiness regardless of the man... and RP let's her do just that but we know that as much as she wants to control her own happiness she can't unless he's happy with her too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stick to strategy fucking the girlfriend. theories are mental masturbation

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Definitely not special. However, slightly different, and requires a slightly different course of action. Not acknowledging the nuances would be a scientific misstep.

Ultimately, this journey is mine. If she's not along for the ride, that's her problem. I'm going to be the person that makes me happy.

I do have a lot of reasons to believe she's on the same page as me, which pleases me because we are really good for each other. But if that end up going south, I will have developed the skills necessary to build better relationships in the future. It's a win-win.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will have developed the skills necessary to build better relationships in the future.

And that's the crux. Your girlfriend becomes a sort of relationship sparring partner.

[–]jeezydasnowman 2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

In marraige it doesn't matter who initiates once you implement dread game. Here is how you permanently keep her wet for you:

  1. Be in shape, as a fitness chick you are good here.

  2. Pass shit tests.

  3. Get out of the house for your social circle.

  4. Get out of the house for your co-ed hobbies.

  5. Dress better.

  6. Openly flirt with your partner, use pickup artistry tactics to get her to put out.

  7. Begin flirting with other women. Gauge your smv by how they react. Practice pickup artistry tactics on thots without escalating.

  8. Openly flirt with other women with your partner present.

  9. Imply you have options.

  10. Overtly tell her you have options.

  11. Tell her you want a divorce/open relationship.

  12. Divorce or open relationship.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks for your reply! I wonder if co-ed hobbies are necessary, or if hanging out with other queers would achieve a better effect. I also wonder if flirting with men vs women would change how effective the behavior is at creating dread.

(I have been with both, but no longer interested in men.)

Logically, you'd think that me flirting with lesbians would create the most dread. But since she visually presents masculine (even if she doesn't act it), would flirting with dudes and straight-looking women still be effective? My hunch is flirting with other butch lesbians would create the most dread, but those aren't exactly plentiful unless you go searching for them.

I've never gotten the dread-tingles if she's mingling with a gender she's not into--no matter how attractive they are. She flirts with men all the time--it's a power play for her and she knows I find it hysterically funny.

[–]jeezydasnowman 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You may not get to where you need to overtly display high value. sometimes the sex returns once you start getting out of the house, or when you crush shit tests, or when you learn to flirt well with her.

[–]RuleZeroDAD 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For true dread, if necessary, you will need to gain the attention of women in front of your woman. To develop abundance mentality, attention and ability to close and flirt, must be with typical targets. Finally, outcome independence is predicated on knowing you could have a new partner tomorrow.

Hobbies are things you like to do that have a social component. It's for bonding in platonic ways with like minded people. These can be catch and release opportunities, but the expectations should not be such.

Please go slow. I don't want to mourn the loss of our first Rambette.

[–]RPAlternate42 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

I wonder if co-ed hobbies are necessary

You're into men too, aren't you?

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Not really anymore. I think I replied to you down below--I stopped dating and sleeping with them a couple years ago. I have a longer explanation for that which I can share if necessary.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Yes, please explain. Getting this insight on the sexual fluidity of a (formerly?) bisexual woman is a rare event for most average straight males.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Alright! So I've had feelings for men before, and I used to date both with equal preference. However, my attraction level with men has always been exponentially less than the one I have for women. After 6-8 months, my desire to fuck them would disappear.

This took a long time to understand, as I would always just assume that it was the loser guys I was dating (and they were massive losers). Until I dated a guy who wasn't a loser, who checked all my theoretical boxes....but I still dried up after 6 months.

I realized that while I could develop feelings for men, ultimately there's no point in pursuing relationships with them. Because those feelings were largely just a chemical surge. They weren't sustainable.

I've always said that my relationships with women were "just different". They made me feel better. I was far more attracted to them. At the risk of TMI, I will disclose that I've only even been able to orgasm with women. I've never really enjoyed sex with men. That should have given it away right there. Why it took me 10 years of sexual activity to make that connection is BEYOND ME.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

its amazing how many lesbian girls I know who get married at the age of about 28-32, get knocked up, and divorced a few years later. It astounds me, the capacity to ignore your basic drive... or is it ignoring your basic drive at all?

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Isn't it amazing? I liked women before I ever liked men, yet I still gave them 5 more chances than I should have.

I think some of those women get driven by their baby hormones...I know I've been tricked by that. The rush of the biological imperative of "BREEEEEED" takes over your brain. I'd think "I could do this, this seems simple. I don't even get stared at in public anymore! I don't have to be in charge....EVER!"

Around 6-8 months in: "oh shit...this means I have to give up pussy forever. Can I do that?! Wait...does this mean I'm going to have a dick in and around my orifices....indefinitely?! I can't do this shit--ABORT."

Afterwards: "maybe it was just the wrong person...let's try again".

Spoiler alert: it wasn't just the Wrong person. I feel so badly for the men I dated; they never stood a chance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And yet you led them on.

It's not like I don't know that I can't be with a fat chic more than a few times- no matter how great her personality is.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

It's more like I led myself on, and the poor guys were collateral damage. I was devastated when those relationships ended, because I couldn't figure out why I kept liking these guys and then POOF--attraction gone.

I can speak plainly about it now because I've done a lot of self-discovery. But at the time I was just soooooo confused about why I couldn't stay attracted to these men. I really wanted to be able to date men...the idea of it was really appealing. But turns out that was just in theory.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hmmm...

Arm-chair psychology time:

  • What's your relationship with your dad?

  • Any history of sexual abuse in your past?

[–]Persaeus 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sex is somewhat inconsistent. When we're having it, it's 8-10 times a week. When we're not, we might go an entire half a month without a passionate physical moment.

Does her interest correlate with her cycle? Are you tracking her cycle?

[–]RPSigmaStigma 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

After reading NMMNG, check out Way of the Superior Man. It's a great book about masculinity in general, and it's written specifically in a way that can be applied by women. He even very clearly says in the intro that his book can apply in non-hetero relationships, and says he wish he could have titled the book "Way of the Superior Masculine Energy" but his publisher said it would be too wordy. :P

It's one of my favorite TRP-related books and I think it can really apply in your situation.

[–]LaV-Man 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I was you I'd change my name to "DoubleAgent", LOL.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome. Thanks for contributing.

[–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very interesting data point. Thanks for your contribution.

[–]FrameWalker 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The most commonly missed point is restructuring your priorities.

Women should be around 30 percent of your mental energy and time at most. Focus on your mission.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As someone that offered you advice before, honestly, 99% of the advice here is being pulled out of people's asses. We do not know how to coach a female to implement RP to another female. None of us are qualified to answer this post beyond speculation. Keep that in mind.

[–]Auvergnat 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think you'll be able to apply 100% red pill theory to your situation as the theory is built around man/woman relationships, a lot of which is deriving from evo psych.

For example, you could assume the role of the Man and behave as we say Men should behave in order to get the desired response from a Woman. But then, if your Woman was to behave like we say women behave, she'd be attracted to men, not you.

A lot of red pill theory will surely apply. On top of my head, everything that relate to Power dynamics, for example the cardinal rule of relationships. But you're going to have to adapt a lot of other things. On top of my head, all typical alpha male traits that we encourage men to learn and display (assertiveness, outcome independence, leading, risk-taking, etc.) are made to attract women that are typically attracted to men. If your partner was a typical woman attracted to alpha traits, she'd be into men. Since she's not, who knows if she'll be attracted to those traits, and not repulsed by them as they are typically masculine.

Know what I mean?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

I don't really get you, as your vocabulary is confusing. You say you are femme, but posting in butch MRP instead of feminine (Redpill wives). You say if your butch you would man up but also say you're the dominant one. Your usage of femme is that in appearance and demeanor or just appearance? It would help me understand you if I had a clear understanding of what butch, femme, dominant, mean to you.

As I see it now, your just like a straight wife that doesn't get enough dominance/leadership from the SO, so you are filling in the vacuum by topping from the bottom, which is at least better than just going harpy-B like some might if not in his frame.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster6 points [recovered] (20 children) | Copy Link

It's okay! Gender is a little fluid for us. Let me try and explain.

Gender presentation doesn't always equate to how a lesbian functions in a relationship. I look feminine (curves, hips, tits ahoy, long hair), I like being more feminine LOOKING, but I am more dominant of the two of us. I am more likely to use masculine (dominant) interpersonal skills. "Feminine" for me does not mean looking soft and demure--it's hard to explain without visuals, but most femme lesbians still have an masculine edge to them. I dress a little like an elementary school teacher, except more gay haha

Another example: I started my own business (and no, it's not an Etsy store lol). I am usually in leadership roles in the workplace. She is often in "support" positions in her career. Well paid, high up, but working behind the scenes to make sure the stuff up front goes off without a hitch.

She presents as butch, and likes looking that way, but desires to be the less dominant partner. She is more likely to use more feminine (passive) interpersonal skills. She loves taking care of stuff at home and taking care of the stuff behind the scenes, which enables her partner to get the big stuff done. Making a lot of decisions makes her anxious. While she presents mostly butch, she still does things like paint her toenails and get her eyebrows waxed (both of which I make fun of her for).

Gender is a gray area for a lot of lesbian couples. I hope this helped a bit--let me know if I can clarify something further. I'm willing to disclose whatever if it'll help this process.

[–]cloudstryfe 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yo I'm not the commenter you replied to but i did want to say a few things. First off, your fr was excellent. It actually is better written than most on trp or mrp. Second, your viewpoint is unique and it seems like you're doing all the right things. Also thank you for the explanation of the gender fluidity in your relationship.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

SJWs like to say "gender is a social construct." They will then say that not everyone is male or female. They also fail to understand or accept the very obvious dimorphism in the sexes.

Wrong... and right, sort of. People confuse "sex" and "gender."

sex is biological: male. female. Except for extreme aberrations, that is it.

gender is technically a construct: man. woman.

however, the social norm has been that sex is biological and that there are biological genders that match that. Additionally, there are traits that match this as well:

  • male-man-masculine
  • female-woman-feminine

Transexuals made this different.

  • Male-woman
  • Female-man

Try as they might, they can't escape the fact that their chromosomes are either XX (female) or XY (male.) Remove gonads, change genitals, have hormone therapy... none of it changes the DNA.

Homosexuals added a new paradigm to things as well. Whereas the man/woman dynamic coincided with masculine/feminine, now the relationships look like this:

  • male-man-masculine
  • male-man-feminine

"masculine" and "feminine" are also social constructs, but only in that they are words assigned to a social characteristic. The SJWs would like to make new word for this shit, but the fact is, even they know "masculine" and "feminine" are descriptive words for known sets of attributes and those attributes align with "dominant" and "submissive." They don't have to, but they typically do.

and

  • female-woman-masculine
  • female-woman-feminine

Gender is a little fluid for us

Incorrect. Your gender is not fluid. YOU, specifically, are a female woman who is masculine (because you've said as much. If your gender was fluid, you might decide to be a female man at some point. Your sexuality may be fluid and your social characteristics may be fluid, but your sex and gender are set unless you decide to present as a man.

/r/Pinelero:

She is a female (XX chromosomes and the skeletal morphology consistent with a female.) She is a woman (presents as such with, I imagine, tits, a vagina, and, I'm guessing, she dresses in a way that compliments the female figure) and she is adopting masculine characteristics (leadership, man-typical relationship behavior) which happen to also coincide with a dominant position in the relationship.

It's all black and white and it has shades of grey. Don't think too hard on it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for the PC-free explanation. You must have a medical background.

[–]RPAlternate42 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing beyond field/wilderness first aid and basic triage.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Gender IS a little fluid for us, because it is a little fluid for her. It doesn't affect the day to day, but there is a little bit of body dysmorphia there. While she has no desire to truly turn into a "man", top surgery is on the table. Bottom surgery is too expensive and largely unsuccessful--besides, she likes being a vagina-toting female well enough.

It really has no effect on our day-to-day, but I totally dig it though. It's probably not hard to understand why that would yank my chain as someone who used to occasionally enjoy dating men.

And yes, these things were on the table when we started dating. And I find it very interesting that she's still so submissive despite all that.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

To put a label for the men here: her girlfriend is adopting what th he SAW Feminists wish they could make all men: submissive men with actual vaginas.

[–]RPAlternate42 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Fluid is still a wrong word. Fluidity implies moment to moment change. It sounds like your girlfriend wants to be a female that presents as a man. To say is fluid means you two mix up the genders every now and then. You may mix up the roles (masc/fem) from time to time but you to seem pretty solid in that too: you want to be a dominant and she a submissive.

We're I you I'd stop using the SJW language like "gender fluid." It's a sort of Orwellian doublespeak and it speaks to idealism and not reality. You are a thing and she is a thing.

We speak in terms of realism here because idealism leads to covert contracts, cognitive dissonance, and oneitis.

I think the only real gender fluid people are drag queens; male-men who like to pretend to be male-women and then go back to the former after a time.

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Sorry if it wasn't clear , but yes she does oscillate a bit. I didn't want to go full tmi, but I may have to in order to be clear enough. There are days where she, in her own words, "feels more in touch with her vagina". And then there are days where she feels like she has a dick haha

That's what I mean by fluid. Her behavior is largely unaffected...it mostly shows up in sex if anywhere. It'll affect how dominant she is once the sex starts (it'll often lead to more initiation on her end as well), and what words she uses.

[–]RPAlternate42 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm going to be straight here (pun?)

It's wierd, but every dude in here has at least once thought, "if I had a vagina, I'd be in touch with it all the time."

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

LOL yes I can imagine. I can only speak from what she's told me, but it's more than a fleeting thought. She's had periods of time where she seriously considered starting hormones, but ultimately it's not for her.

[–]RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Keep this in mind:

She's going to do what she wants. What that is may not necessarily be something you like.

If she goes on hormones, it means a leaner body, more muscle mass, masculine hair growth, a deeper voice; literally a man with a vagina. If what you like about her is that she is a woman... what part of her "woman" do you like... because you'll basically just be living with eunuch.

What bothers me the most about this, though, is how easy it is for her to get testosterone treatment but an actual man has to jump through hoops to get test to supplement waning levels.

Maybe we should just pull the SJW card and and say: "I'm a woman that wants to be a man."

"No, you're a man."

"How dare you!"

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

I have no issue with her getting top surgery. She has giant tits and they hurt her back haha

She's like 95% sure that she'll never go on hormones. She doesn't like what they would do to her emotionally and sexually. She also wouldn't want to take up the "male" role in a relationship and treat her partner like a man would. None of those things appeal to her. So unless something drastic happens that will be a non-issue.

I'd probably give it the good ol' college try if she decided to transition. The only thing that would really skeeve me out is if she grew a beard. Either way, I've been honest that it would be really hard for me.

To be fair, getting gender therapy hormones would NOT be "easy", not as I would define that word. It's an ordeal in and of itself. I wouldn't want to go through it, that's for sure. But I agree, you guys should be able to access it if you need it! Are there risks involved that warrant any of the process?

[–]RuleZeroDAD 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

So you're more Portia and less Ellen. Sounds fair.

I caught a bisexual during a guy phase and was later invited to the wedding to her husband, then her wedding to her current wife.

You sure you're settled?

[–]vagina_rollercoaster1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah I'm sure I'm settled. I had to come to terms with why it never worked out with men. Once my baby hormones chilled out, I would immediately lose interest in guys.

[–]Persaeus 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Once my baby hormones chilled out, I would immediately lose interest in guys.

lmao, that's what she said

[–]RPAlternate42 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

but I've never heard of this exchange happening in a heterosexual relationship long-term.

It happens, but it happens inn the blue pill way: he brings up the lack of sex, she makes excuses as to why (tired, so much to do, maybe if he choreplayed) he consents to "helping" more. Nothing changes. He brings it up again and she attempts to shame him for making the marriage all about sex and that he should love her no matter what. He agrees in word, but knows this is fucked up. His bringing it up turns to whining and she gets turned off. He either cheats or she does. The Red Pill way is for him to adopt OI, improve, create passive dread, and if he's good, expand his abundance mentality.

When we're having it, it's 8-10 times a week

Gentleman, here's a little anecdotal proof that women have a higher sex drive then men and proof that it's far higher than they let on, most of the time.

Dread game may have to be adjusted. I'm thinking the emotional might be more effective than the physical.

You misunderstand: dread is all emotional.

Understand that when men use dread, we are tapping into the emotional side of the woman. Our actions create a world inside of her that makes her think that we are moments from possibly having sex with other women... without us even doing anything except dressing better and smelling better, etc. It gets dicier in the higher levels, but at that point she's just a cold bitch anyways. Simmering at level 6 is usually enough to get a change in behavior.

mildly withdrawing affection might make a bigger impact than starting to lift.

Lifting isn't dread so much as it is actively improving ourselves... the dread is passive here. Withdrawing affection is the A1 rule when your woman gets ornery.

I am wondering if shit/comfort tests will change, based on the different gender dynamic.

I don't think so: Think about how girls act in high school towards each other. Women shit test in relationships, all relationships. Men do it to, but we call it busting our balls... and the subtext is playful. When women do it, the subtext is to create a hierarchy of power. When she shit tests you, it's her way of figuring out if you are, in fact, her leader. Men do it to women, too, but we call that teasing.

There is something that is sort of paramount in TRP that I don't think has been touched on because we were all so enamored with the idea of Lesbian Red Pill or solving a new and decidedly interesting problem.

In TRP, we have a saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. I don't know how that will fit into a lesbian dynamic because sex between a man and woman is different than sex between a woman and a woman. I don't know how, but I know it is.

You did touch on it, above with "withholding affection" but know that if she decides she doesn't like this new dynamic you are creating and wants to withhold sex, you need to be the one that withholds the commitment and affection. She may also withhold affection (emotional v. physical call-back here) and you need to decide if you will simply ignore this. In a M-F relationship, when the woman gives the silent treatment (withholds affection) the man simply decides that his time is better spent elsewhere than with an unpleasant woman.

Everyone in here, at least everyone with a meaningful flair, lives their marriage as a practice for being single because we know that the marriage could end at any moment. This is part of being able to walk away from the relationship without looking back. The person with the most power cares the least.

Think about these things, because the RP stuff you've been discussing is more surface; it's the parts that are forward facing. The real nuts and bolts, the dark stuff underneath; the stuff that drives the idea of RP is the parts that can be painful for men to accept... and I think more painful for women to accept. You are approaching RP from the man's perspective. There is an RP Women subreddit... but they have a different sort of strategy.

Hopefully this works for you.

[–]Persaeus 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Brilliant comments, I would add to:

Everyone in here, at least everyone with a meaningful flair, lives their marriage as a practice for being single because we know that the marriage could end at any moment.

That this mindset is the most effective strategy to "be attractive, don't be unattractive". Keeping that 2nd date mindset is key.

The real nuts and bolts, the dark stuff underneath; the stuff that drives the idea of RP is the parts that can be painful for men to accept... and I think more painful for women to accept.

That last sentence through me for a loop. I thought women were naturally RP. In my experience, when I talk to non-RP men about RP they are in a state of disbelief and honestly crushed. When I talk to any mature woman about RP, she is like "duh, and water is wet".

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I think the hard thing for me was accepting:

  1. There's things about myself that I can't control, and I'll be actively fighting my whole life.

  2. While I've been incredibly loyal to my girlfriends, I've also treated my boyfriends like shit unintentionally.

  3. My ex-girlfriends acted just like the broads you guys talk about. And it hurts to feel objectified like that. It also hurts that it was mostly my own fault for being unaware of my role.

  4. Society has lied to me. A lot. And it's caused me to waste my time.

[–]Persaeus 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is a lot of hamstering their. Part of the MRP praxeology is killing your ego and owning your shit .

[–]vagina_rollercoaster 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

On women's sex drive: omg yes. We're unbridled monsters when you get us in the right mind-space. Unbridled, uncontrollable, filthy sexual monsters. We WILL slut it up for our partner if you punch in the right access codes.

On lifting and dread: thanks for that clarification. I'm really not trying to get all buff over here--I already have to wear men's shirts to fit my biceps. I will mentally replace "lifting" with active self-improvement.

On busting balls: a fascinating thing happened today. We were teasing, (in my mind, I'm busting her balls, I'm just playing with her). She got a little excessively mouthy, I responded immediately with "how about you chill with that tone, miss", and she immediately backed down. "Yeah, you're right."

Literally seconds later she says "I can't wait to fuck you this weekend." Can't make this shit up.

That was the first time I decided to do anything about one of her shit tests. Fascinating results.

On the gatekeeper dynamic: I agree. And yes, I will be willing to hold my ground if necessary.

On surface vs internal: the surface stuff feels very personal to me, but I see what you're saying. I think what has been really hurtful to me is that, while I've adopted a "no outs mentality" in the past with women, they definitely didn't have the same mentality with me. I see that now, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

[–]immyownworstenemy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lifting shouldn't be replaced with active self-improvement, you've got to do both, The Red Pill can't give a guy a pass on this, so it can't give you a pass on this either. If you're worried about getting big, as long as you lift only light amounts and ideally also maintain a correct amount of cardio, you won't. You'll just get a sexier, more defined, yet still slim, figure, plus those vital testosterone benefits already mentioned by others that will make leading more natural for you. Many female celebrities do this and this consequently helps them to stay looking great as well probably also take better control of their life. I'm sure your partner would love the results of you lifting, aesthetically and socially, so no more excuses, you should definitely do it!

Congrats on all the other improvements you've integrating/been integrating so far. It sounds like you're on the right track, overall.

[–]Unlikely_Obsession0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I read here a lot but have never posted before. I am a woman in an LTR with a man and I have been implementing the tactics from this forum and other rp sources in my personal life and relationship for about 2 yrs. I have to tailor them but they are working for me. After reading this thread I believe I may be experiencing lesbian bed death in my straight relationship. We are attracted to each other and do have regular sex, but seem to be locked into a mutual non-initiation stand-off many nights. I have an extremely high sex drive and think about sex constantly but often find myself simply paralyzed, unable to initiate no matter how badly I want to. It is interesting to hear that other women feel this way too. So maybe this phenomenon CAN happen in a heterosexual relationship. Feel free to ask me any questions you want. I will be watching this thread with interest.

[–]ned_harriman 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Your man is mostly feminine energy (through a lifetime of brainwashing and effort to be so). You are mostly feminine energy and you'll never be able to reverse that without at least a decade of heavy testosterone therapy and the resultant total restructuring of your body and life (and probably several years of pimples like most guys go through). So yah you are suffering from lesbian bead death. Read Deida. Actually your husband should but as it's been discussed here, no woman should ever introduce her man to Deida or any other redpill thing. Maybe pay one of his friends to redpill and then he can unplug your man? Just pick the right friend, I had to abort unplugging two brothers and my father when they reacted very very badly.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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