Preface:

Think it’s important to give a bit of a bio so you can make up your own mind whether the source is credible. Mid 40’s white male – divorced, was married 17 years I called quits, and we remain close/amicable/friendly. High School Athletic, but didn’t have the skills ability to make it at a higher level. USMC Infantry, LEO (Homicide Detective), Government Contractor Overseas, and now upper level management type.

5’10” 230lbs, visible abs first thing in the morning, but first cup of coffee washes them away. Ideal weight is around 212-214lbs. Bench: 335 Squat: 405 DL: 675 OHP: 205 *more on bench below…..

How to develop or reinforce Alpha Traits as an older guy

This is for guys that are either naturally beta or how let themselves side into beta mode. The main difference between alpha and beta comes to two interrelated things:

1) Excellence 2) Confidence

Excellence first guys! If you have confidence but no excellence it’s only a matter a time before someone pulls your chain.

Step 1 – Find something or develop something you excel at, and make it be something that’s life defining (Career, Education, Athletics, Hobby). No one is Alpha in all situations or circumstance. You could be a MLB All-Star pussy snatcher MVP, but your first day in BJJ you are not the Alpha in the room. Know your excellence and carry it with you, but be self-aware enough to recognize a situation and always seek improvement. Once you find your excellence work on your weaknesses – AKA conquer your fears.

The good think about being 40 or over is you’re probably already an expert at something. Hopefully it’s work so that you have secure financial stability. There are three statuses in life advancing, stagnant, regression. Find what matters to you and always strive to be advancing. Start out in the mail room to one day running the company. Once you except “eh this is good enough” you’re no longer alpha – that’s just not what alphas do. If you’re a mid-level manager you need to be working towards upper management and then executive. If you’re cutting lawns with one lawn mower out of the back of a pick-up you’re working towards owner a fleet of trucks/crews, etc.

Step 2 – Development confidence. A lot of confidence will just be derived from recognizing you excel at X, Y, or Z. The other way to do it is to test yourself. Every day you should test yourself in some way.

Personal anecdotal evidence: Up till 40 I was in career fields where “being tested” was organic to the environment. In the infantry everything is a fucking test – against yourself or against others. Alphas do alpha shit….wanna be squad leader? It’s all through a trial by fire. As a cop you get tested as soon as you say “you’re under arrest” and dude replies “I not going to jail”. As a detective it’s about who’s solving the most or toughest cases. And overseas it was who’s going to run what mission. My current job I’m not tested. My title alone makes me the defacto alpha. I come to work – do my shit and go home. My first year I wanted to shoot myself until I realized I’m not being tested – I’m not validating my alpha status, and complacency kills everything; Including Alpha status. Develop/Improve/Maintain Status

Education Always be improving your education – hopefully your career is set and this can be more of an “at leisure” endeavor. Pick something and go for it. Pick up a degree, or another degree, or advanced degree, or technical certificate. Point is always be educating yourself in some manner. Challenge yourself – suck at Math? Start taking some higher level math courses. Treat it as a challenge and succeed. Take some classes at the local JCC or College/University. Also great for socializing and meeting people outside your work/neighborhood.

Exercise This here is the simplest and easiest way to change your patterns of behavior. Forget all the bullshit programs…..just pick one and BE CONSISTENT. This is again an avenue to find something you excel at – fitness in general (that alone birthed the Crossfit community), or sport, but find something. This is personally what works for me:

1. Cardio – if you’re fat, as in you don’t have abs, you have to do cardio. Me personally, the easiest and best cardio I’ve found is running and here’s why. It’s actually functional – better than that it’s an actual lifesaving skill. It behooves you to do two things really well – quickly get away from a threat and put distance between you and a threat. So that’s what I concentrate on. 30 minutes every day, alternating between HIIT and LISS. For HIIT I vary my sprints; suicide drills, cone drills, stair/hill sprints, 100m, 200m, 400m, up to a 1 mile all out sprint. LISS is as basic as it gets; a 30 minute jog which for me is about 3.5 miles.

2. Lifting – I put my PR up top. Bench is just for reference as I very really bench now. My pressing is comprised of Strict Overhead Press only. Why? Because it’s manly as shit to push big weight overhead. I lift 6 days a week. I train “movements” not body parts.

Monday – Squat Tuesday – Standing Overhead Press Wednesday – Deadlift Thursday – Squat Friday – Standing Overhead Press Saturday – Deadlift

I use the “wave method” for all movements. Look it up on T-Nation. Works great for me. I lift at home in a power rack from rogue fitness. Track my lifts weekly and fractional weights are priceless. Always aiming to go up 1lbs per week. Again – lifting is a basic lifesaving skill. Stronger you are the harder you are to kill.

3. Kickboxing – Buy yourself a heavy bag and some gloves. I probably should have put this as number 1, because this probably has the biggest payoff to confidence building and lifesaving in general. Guys it’s impossible to be Alpha if you don’t have clue one as to how to throw a fucking punch or kick. Cardio and Strength definitely help in fighting/self-defense, but if you’re a 200lbs guy with a 400lbs bench and are an “arm puncher” there is a great chance you’re gonna get laid the fuck out by someone with a year’s worth of legit martial arts or training. I do this anywhere from 1 – 6 days a week depending on how I feel. Intensity varies. Sometimes I just to skill/drill work and sometimes up the intensity to where it’s a secondary HIIT/Conditioning workout.

Diet This whole post is the KISS approach to ALPHA and this is no different. Look, you can’t be alpha if you’re a fat fuck. Watch your diet – this isn’t rocket science – calories in/calories out and make wise food selections to fuel your education/work/exercise pursuits. Now I will say what works for me is a Keto diet, but honestly there are too many great tasting foods you can’t eat on Keto, so I stick with intermittent fasting – google it if you don’t know, but the Mr. Slippery Cliff notes are:

8 hour eating window for bulking (this is only for truly skinny fucks) 6 hour eating window for maintenance 4 hour eating window for reasonable weight loss 2 hour eating window for I need to lose a metric fuck ton of weight. My sample day might go like this: 6:00 Cardio – either HIIT or LISS 7:30 Coffee – black if you can, but a tablespoon or two of sugar/cream isn’t gonna wreck your fast 2:00 Break fast with lunch. Usually a small meal – equivalent to a kids meal in terms of sizing/calories because I don’t want to be feel bloated for my workout. 5:00 Lifting followed by Kickboxing 7:00 Dinner and for me this is huge meal. If out I might do appetizer, salad/soup, dinner with sides, etc. If it’s pizza night with the kids I order my own meat lovers and go to fucking town. Big think I avoid is sugar…..yeah, no cakes or treats, and no calories from liquid. I stick with quality protein sources (beef, bison, chicken, fish, eggs, pork) and quality sides (fruits and veg). My one weakness is breakfast for dinner when I kill some pancakes (usually after squats on Monday). Drink lots of water

Hobbies Another avenue to work on excellence; sure it can be poker, or chess, tennis, softball, kickball, or flag football, but to get the most bang out of your buck and transfer to confidence make it something MANLY, functional and a life skill. Things like: Shooting, Archery, which both lead to hunting, and camping, or potentially fishing…….boxing, kickboxing, BJJ, coding, construction, etc.

BONUS - Supplements I think all the above is pretty straight forward, but I want to throw out a bonus kicker that might be taboo or frowned on, but if you’re over 40 for the love of all that’s Masculine and Alpha look into getting on TRT or if you’re so inclined steroids. I read a lot of guys say “back to when I was 20” well Testosterone replacement therapy will definitely bring about alpha tendencies. Sex drive/libido back to early 20’s, workouts are more productive, nutrient absorption is better, literally everything is better. Then there is the darkside of supplements – depending on where you live obviously, but other compounds can literally turn a 120lbs beta into a 190lbs alpha REAL FUCKING QUICK.

TL;DR: Quicksteps to confidence: take 1 college level class a semester to increase knowledge, prestige, standing, and for social networking. Workout hard and keep it basic – think preparing for combat, not the beach. Diet and eat healthy. Pick a hobby that’s transferable to a real skill and interesting – no one gives a shit about a stamp collection. If over 40 look into TRT to supercharge you results.