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In honor of our September 30 AMA with Rollo Tomassi I present the top 10 most impactful posts to me on The Rational Male. I encourage you to add to this list and discuss:

*1.There is no one

Hard and fast and in your face. Rollo explains why their can be no "one."

At some point in a ONEitis relationship one participant will establish dominance based on the powerlessness that this ONEitis necessitates. There is no greater agency for a woman than to know beyond doubt that she is the only source of a man’s need for sex and intimacy.

He just left out the part about her not fucking you when you "give a woman no greater agency."

*2. War Brides

This one hurt me a lot. I admit this one sent me into a spiral and fucked up my entire world. This was one of the first posts I ever read in the manosphere and the implications of it were so disturbing I ended up taking valium and ambien to get to sleep for the next week. It is that powerful. To me this was like a shot to the stomach. I immediately realized it meant there was no "one." She can and will turn on you if you stop providing what she needs you to provide. I had seen it in court so many times in divorce cases but this piece explains EXACTLY what is going on in the hamster's brain.

*3. Amused Mastery

This makes the list for the pic alone. Check it out! That pic explains precisely what we mean by "amused mastery" (which is an excellent way to respond to shit tests).

*4. Your Friend Menstruation

Rollo explains "Period Game." On MRP we are "clued" into that whole thing. Dance Monkey Dance!

*5. Artificial Joy

Are you a Cypher? Are you thinking about plugging back in? Do you ever sit around and say: "Why oh why didn't I take the Blue Pill?" Do you just want to quit improving and go back to enjoying your steak? This post is for you. Trust us guys, Cyphers never get to enjoy their steak.

*6. Casualties

My brother-in-law hung himself as a response to having the unthinkable happen to him; his ONE, his soulmate, a woman he was very posessive of, was leaving him after 20 years of marriage

*7. Not-all-women-arent-like-that

Anyone who’s spent more than a month reading comment threads on manosphere blogs understand the reason NAWALT has become a trope worthy of its own acronym. “Not all women are like that,..” is the most common, default, go-to response for feminine personal offenses.

*8. Women-in-love

This is top of the sidebar on The Red Pill for a reason. Women don't love you the way you think. They love opportunistically and situationally based on ever changing emotions.

*9. Men in Love

Men believe in love for the sake of love, women love opportunistically. It’s not that either subscribe to unconditional love, it’s that both gender’s conditions for love differ.

In short, men are the romantics. Women love differently, get over breakups much faster, move on more quickly, and will stop loving a man when he stops providing what she needs from him.

*10. saving-the-best

This is one of the most profound glimpses into female nature ever written. NAWALT my ass. Rollo ends on a pessimistic note:

He wants her sexual best, but her 7 years of unwillingness to give him that while enjoying the benefits of his provisioning, his patience, love and perseverance only puts her strategy, the Hypergamic strategy, into perfect focus. Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place.

On MRP we have the solution- own your shit and become the kind of man who can command her sexual best.

This guy in the story- he is a bitch. The guy is butthurt that others fucked his woman like he never did except he never TOLD her what to do and what he wanted. He never DEMANDED she comply. The second he threatens to leave she folds like the cheap whore she is. The dude could have imposed any conditions he wanted at that point but instead was "disgusted." Yah, because looking in his little sluts eyes reflected his pathetic weakness right back at him.


[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

debilitating anxiety, guilt, and the stresses that result from being continuously, consciously aware of their own behavioral incongruities. Evolution selects-for solipsistic women who are blissfully unaware of their solipsism

War Brides was brutal. This is why being irrationally confident is imperative to any man. Reality is temporal to a woman and rationalization of poor behavior can only go so far. But the more fuckery a woman did, the harder it is to sweep under the carpet. It's the cock rocket to Alpha Widow town!

I don't need to know numbers. I don't need to know stupid gory details anymore. I have the answers as to why a GOOD GIRL would have cheated, branch swung or feel the pointlessness of regret.

This is why RPW says to keep N count low. Actions have consequence, even if you feel differently.

He wants her sexual best, but her 7 years of unwillingness to give him that while enjoying the benefits of his provisioning, his patience, love and perseverance only puts her strategy, the Hypergamic strategy, into perfect focus. Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place.

This is why there is no team. Be the leader or be a tool.

[–]redearththeory3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

War Brides was brutal.

Yes and we should always recognize both sides of that coin. Today's women are the descendants of war brides. We are the descendants of war husbands. They are what they are because we are what we are. People shouldn't take these things too personally. We're all gods children.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

People shouldn't take these things too personally.

FRAME

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

FRAME and GAME, dominance will follow.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

FRAME is swell right now, GAMING a train wreck is proving difficult.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

GAMING a train wreck is proving difficult

Thought #1...It takes two to play.

Thought #2.... If it was just another girl, when your game went flat, what would you do? I pull back, lest I make it worse, re-group and go again later.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly what I am doing. Great minds must think a like. To some extent the wife has been demoted to plate.

[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have a daughter. I can tell you, as she grows older I've come to appreciate amused mastery more and more. When she's throwing a fit and spewing emotions because "no one loves me!" I just roll over to her and tease her.

"Are you being a beast?"

"I'm not a beast!"

"Sure you are. You're growling like one. Beast."

"No one loves me!"

"I love you even though your a beast."

Smiles, "oh daddy"

Usually at this point my wife is smiling just as much as my daughter.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great comment! Have an upvote. A daughter learns to love through their father.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A great illustration why little girls need their daddy! They always use the word misogyny to describe us but merps are the only group that really loves women. In most cases, the problem is we loved to much....

[–]ArchwingerMarried- MRP MODERATOR8 points9 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Saving the best was seriously insightful. Every married man needs that in his head.

She didn't just give the last guy better sex. She also loved him more.

[–]blue_dover 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I hold you in the highest regard here at TRP - and i don't want to come across as insulting or anything - but i have been following your profile for a while and wanted to know if you are still struggling with your anger phase?

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey! How come nobody ever asked me if I was still in the anger stage? I guess it is that obvious.

I have known enough lawyers to observe that almost all of them are in a perpetual anger stage. Red Pill, Blue Pill, Purple Pill. It doesn't matter. Lawyer's are a pissed off group that don't suffer fools gladly. It's like a constant anger phase. Trial lawyer's are the worst but there is something about a legal education that wipes the mind into a perpetual scowl. Just a theory.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think a legal education puts a person deeper into a red-pill-about-life philosophy than many of those people ever intended to be. Having to come into contact with rich families who can't politely divide up gigantic estates, horrible divorces, extreme negligence, etc.

If they weren't already cynical, they become cynical fast. I remember a phrase about a real-estate lawyer who had previously been doing criminal defense. She said "Now my clients only rape the land rather than raping people."

Kind of how cops mostly have to interact with the worst 1% of the population, and mostly aren't going to rich folks's houses to turn off their house alarms that got set off by their cat or their pool boy.

[–]ArchwingerMarried- MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I don't buy into the "anger phase". I think it's perfectly okay to be angry about lots of things, as long as your anger doesn't hinder your success at life. The same goes for any other emotion or activity. If it's not holding you back, or better, if it drives you forward, you're fine.

You are entitled to your feelings, whatever they are, and your feelings are valid. It's not wrong to feel one way instead of another, unless the way you're feeling is hindering you from accomplishing things. It's okay to be angry, hateful, bigoted, or anything else "negative" that you want to be. It doesn't have to be some kind of "phase". If it's okay to be some kind of sex-positive, deviant super-slut, then it's also okay to be an angry bigot. These are both valid life choices.

If you're angry about shit, you're a royal bigot, and you seethe with hatred for one or more people in your life, but you're still getting fit, succeeding professionally, succeeding socially, developing your skills and hobbies, getting laid to your satisfaction, conducting yourself in a way that doesn't lead to your detriment, and you're generally happy, who the fuck cares if you're an angry woman-hater inside?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Most men can't actually be Angry inside and still want to be socially pleasant to who ever they are angry at for a significant length of time without fucking it up at some point

[–]ArchwingerMarried- MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If a guy can string along and fuck a slut he has no serious intentions of dating, or buckle down and live in a shitty marriage with a terrible wife yet still succeed in the workplace, then he has the skills to tolerate people he doesn't like and behave in a socially normal manner.

We're not talking about giving your life savings to some guy who murdered your children with a hatchet. We're talking about being socially pleasant to insipidly stupid women and pussy-ass men, which make up about 90 percent of the population.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

pussy-ass men, which make up about 90 percent of the population.

so the majority of men. Which is why I said, "most men"

[–]ArchwingerMarried- MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well, look at all the pussy-ass men who, despite loathing their bitchy, sexually frigid, often-cheating wives, continue to be sociable, grill burgers when the wife invites her girlfriends over for dinner, get promoted at work (and continue to provide for the shitty wife), drive the kids to soccer practice, and for all intents and purposes, appear to be socially normal, happy, pleasant men. Who deep down inside hate their wives, are consumed with anger every minute, yet continue to treat their wives, and everyone else, quite decently.

Normal social behaviors are the least of an angry man's problems. His biggest danger is letting his anger hold him back from the gym or professional success instead of embracing the anger and using it to go farther.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Maybe. Maybe we are talking about a different type of anger.

These guys you describe, many of us have been there. Its anger mitigated by not truly understanding what is happening. Its weak, its a subversive anger. Its the latent, impotent anger of the office cubicle guys with the bad shoes and bad haircuts and skinny arms. Its the anger of the weak. In fact, I don't think I can go on calling it anger at all. Anger has an active component to it. This is more like the bitterness, the sadness, the all consuming helplessness and blindness to the world.

Its not anger, not really. Its resentment.

Anger, how you mean it, is far more active, and can be harnessed because truly, it is more powerful.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. You said it better than I did.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anger and resentment combine for rage. Rage is not easily controlled. Rage is hard to hide. If openly displayed it can be very destructive for the rage-er. It shows through the stiff smiles, the fat bodies, stern faces, and poor achievements in life. They can be seen everywhere. Hopefully they are a subgroup of the 90% of men.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The same goes for any other emotion or activity. If it's not holding you back, or better, if it drives you forward, you're fine.

Going in circles

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Aparently, a woman that swears she would never fuck you, or even meet you in real life would care. At least according to PPD

[–]ArchwingerMarried- MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, most of the world thinks that certain emotions and certain thoughts are "wrong". It doesn't matter if they're not hurting you or anybody else, or not holding you back, or even driving you forward to do great things.

If you're "angry" or "bitter" or "hate women", then these thoughts are "wrong".

Even Red Pill people buy into that bullshit, claiming, "Oh, being angry is just a 'phase'. Real Red Pill guys get over that and feel positive emotions all the time! Real Red Pill guys aren't angry and don't hate women! We don't think wrong thoughts! Please don't judge us, internet thought police!"

There's no such thing as wrong thoughts. Every one of us is entitled to think whatever the hell we want, be angry about whatever the hell we want, and hate whatever the hell we want. The only proviso is that sometimes, certain emotions and thoughts can hold you back, in which case, you need to fix that. But otherwise, being "angry" isn't "wrong". I get a little miffed when I hear Red Pill guys jumping up and down to accuse other Red Pill guys of, essentially, thinking wrong thoughts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it should be a phase, but I'm really attracted to the idea of letting go. Anger means you still give a fuck.

You're 100% bang on though if anyone has been paying attention. A man is his own judge, people see the words, read them, don't quite get the concept sometimes, anger seems to be a good example where.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I half-agree with you here. Every person is sure-as-fuck entitled to their feelings.

I'm a shitty poker player because I can't hide my feelings well. It's something I work on. I have no skills at hiding my disdain for people who have earned my hate. Hopefully you're better at that than me. Only avoidance works for me.

[–]drty_prMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

 a cruel red pill truth – you cannot negotiate genuine desire

This is one of the most important things I've learned so far. I own almost everything in my life. My posts wreak of this though. I truly am not sure if she ever will have genuine desire for me.

[–]NiceGuyWeakling1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women in Love is an eye opener. But Saving the Best was the one post that made me feel horrible after reading it. Because I've experienced in my marriage. Once I dropped the ball and gained weight, she became a LOT less adventurous in bed. And I didn't realize that for a long time. She withdrew the best she had given me, and I know until I can wipe my own ass by myself again, I won't regain it. I can never ask or beg for it without making everything worse. What many of the commenters don't get is that the guy in the story AND a lot of men in the same situation aren't giving their women their best either. Say whatever you want, but do you give your very best? How can you expect her to do so, then? A month and a half ago I was crying like a bitch in the shower for not getting good sex. I wouldn't give my best to me then if I were a woman.

[–]2ndal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for this perspective. It's refreshing to think of my actions as needing to be giving it my best if I expect it in return.

[–]anythingincMRP APPROVED - Blue Pill Diplomat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My bookmarks:

https://therationalmale.com/2012/01/17/setting-the-rules/

Should probably be required reading here. A guy wants to stay home instead of go to a birthday party, but knows his wife will be mad. What do?

https://therationalmale.com/2012/09/14/amused-mastery/

Single greatest tool to have a fun, enjoyable, positive, masculine, powerful, endearing frame...and thus life.

https://therationalmale.com/2015/03/31/wives-lovers/

If these headlines don't make you want to read this post then what are you doing here?

  • Wives Hate Sex

and

  • The Myth of Mismatched Libidos

There are too many others to list...but that is what I said "Man, better save this for later..."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Does anyone have links to RPWi discussions/perspectives relevant to "saving-the-best"?

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I bet that would rip the mask off the monster :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sort of a ramble but:

I'm really wracking my brain here but I cannot recall reading anything on RPWi along the lines of "be his slut". They must know that's what we want. Their advice is more along the lines of "make yourself available". Note that these two statements are not actually incompatible, but there's a nuance. So... that leads to the following:

Do we fall back on dread because we just don't have the balls to demand sluttyness?

Is this all a madonna/whore artifact that we're solving via porn again? Hang with me.

The BP perspective on this situation is that the partners who get the best exploited naivety and insecurities. And that after those experiences the woman learned she "doesn't actually like it" so she enforces personal boundaries in the future. The claim is that even the partner who "got the best" in the past actually could not get it again (barring a serious lapse / impairment). And that one of the problems with insecure women is that they learn to fake desire (because men like it). You will find people that claim that what men perceive as "desire" is actually performance. Supposedly you will find plenty of women who claim to have anal orgasms who when pushed admit it's a lie and a show (i.e. it's visual stimulus intended for men -- porn). It's obvious to me that porn stars lie through their teeth. Anyway. I think that's a fair summary of the bulk of the other argument.

Ok, I can follow this line of reasoning. Think about food. When you're a kid maybe someone forced you to eat brussel sprouts in the past, you didn't like them and you'll never choose to eat them again. Should your wife be pissed off that you ate brussel sprouts for your mom, but won't not for her? (stupid example, but meant to illustrate the BP perspective). But in the end it all boils back to "desire". We say that it's the male bodies we see in porn that inspire desire. But is it more the performance expectations?

So then the RP perspective. Doesn't that boil down to looking like the men in porn? Is the whole thing just playing into porn scripts? Is using dread to inspire slutty actually coming from a stance of passive aggression? Is it because we are too insecure to demand whatever it is we secretly want and not accept less? Is there a more assertive approach?

So let's circle back to RPWi and their "make yourself available" advice. Don't you think their husbands could probably do whatever they wanted?

Is it maybe that BP men are just unassertive and too quick to DEER after a request?

If you go to the BDSM subreddits and find the subs and conversations where they discuss what things they don't like in some Doms, it really boils down to lack of assertiveness.

Granted: it's difficult to change expectations in an existing relationship rather than weeding during dating.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Own Your Shit. Perhaps the most powerful words in MRP doctrine. From looking in the mirror and seeing a weaksauce to literally owning your laundry and picking it up so she can erase the third or fourth child in her mind that she can't possibly fuck and when she does she possibly can't get out of her starfishidous mindset because it's a chore

I read about here, and see so many others resign themselves to mediocrity. My nephew marries a cute little Asian chick, he continues down his path of video games and beer and wonders how she resigned herself to become that fat little turd she is He throws her out and starts the cycle all over again

War brides. Truth be told, we are all like that It is just a level of threshold that we have been taught. It's actually not selfish, it's reality. Do you actually want to be involved with a spiraling out of control Fucktard ? I'm at a point I give people months not years, then next

Saving the Best. When she can relax cause you are no longer a weaksauce she might actually come out of her shell. Only if, you display your worth with dread, and value in public while never gloating about it to her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's the one thing I think TRP is missing, that would really benefit it.

It creates a level of ownership to the guys here. They hold each other to task, and it prevents posers, you really can't run your mouth off, because people can see if you practice what you preach (e.g. has actual value)

Own your shit and Iron sharpens Iron are the two statements that best encapsulate RP IMO

[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All great choices!

I've been a follower of Rollo since Year 2 and, as we all, there are a few that particularly speak to me.

The 1st being The Myth of the Good Guy

So the archetype of the ‘Good’ guy is offered up as some sort of livable, compromised ideal. If men could aspire to embody the best of the Alpha and temper that with what they define themselves as the best of the Beta, well then he’d be the ‘perfect’ catch for any woman of course.

 

The problem with this ‘Good Guy’ myth is not because men can’t or wouldn’t want to try to balance women’s Hypergamy for them, but simply because women neither want nor expect that balance in the same man to begin with.

 

It comes back to the Just Get It principle for women – any guy who needs to make a concerned effort to become what he expects women will want from him to be ‘the perfect guy’ doesn’t get it. They want Mr. Perfect because that is who he already is.

 

There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is and what he genuinely merits. There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom he loves and befriends.

That’s the Man who Just Gets It.

The moral to this story is "Don't try, just be".

 

And, what we see here all too often with the new guys in their misguided attempts to "sprinkle a little alpha on it", Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite

One of the biggest dangers of the PUA ideal is that it does nothing to address the root problem of AFCism (for lack of a better term). AFCs don’t want to stop being AFCs. Largely, they just want their ONEitis (or their “dream girl”) to hook up with them long term and then drift back into a comfortable ‘just being themselves’.

 

Most guys want that silver bullet, the magic formula that will get them the girl, but it does nothing to prepare them for the idyllic LTR their beta nature has fantasized about for so very long. They don’t become Men, they become children with dynamite.

 

Edit: Formatting

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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