TheRedArchive

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40

The title.

Mods and others have noticed that with the influx of new guys some are royally fucking up Dread Game. This was always my concern from the beginning and I took great pains to say GO SLOW. Of course guys who can't be bothered to read the sidebar and wiki before they post are EXACTLY the guys who ignore that advice.

I am sick of seeing: "Wait, the first time I got back from the gym I wasn't supposed to explode my marriage by telling my wife we are going to have some changes and she better fuck me more or I am going to start hitting on randoms during my lunchtime?"

No brah. No you weren't.

There is literature on Dread Game in this sub.

There is also my book- a greatly expanded version of the above post: Saving a Low Sex Marriage: A Man's Guide To Dread, Seduction, and the Long Game.

Just trust us on this point:

DREAD GAME IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND CAN DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU MOVE TO QUICKLY.

If you are new to this both of these sources will tell you the same thing any other MRP APPROVED guy (or girl) will tell you.

The first 2 rules are:

  1. SHUT....THE....FUCK...UP.

  2. DON'T....BE...A....DUMBASS

Rule 1: STFU is not just a good idea, it's the law. You have been a weak, pathetic, poor Captain, who has failed to lead, failed to seduce, FAILED TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN, INCLUDING YOUR WIFE.

This is the problem. The solution is NOT to suddenly start spouting off and demanding your wife respect you, fuck you, or whatever you think you deserve. If you make demands she will (rightfully!!!!) see a whiny, pouting, bitchy little boy demanding that mommy give him a piece of candy.

Think about it! Do you want to be with a woman who wants to fuck whiny, pouting, bitchy little boys?

Fucking creepy doesn't cover that scenario, right?

Well THAT is probably how your wife sees you. THAT is why she doesn't want to have sex (with you).

So WHAT IS THE SOLUTION? Simple! That is rule 3:

    1. BE ATTRACTIVE. DON'T BE UNATTRACTIVE.

"Mindful" Attraction is a life long course of study. I personally have read more than 70 books on the topic. You don't need to do all that, but there are 4-5 books that you DO need to read.

They are on the sidebar====>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

In addition you need to figure out Shit Tests and read The Definitive Guide on Shit Tests.

In order to be attractive to women you should have an idea how to fog, and be assertive without being a mindless asshole. You should know about leadership and be making good decisions for you and your family. You should be in the process of getting IN SHAPE BY LIFTING HEAVY WEIGHTS. You should understand seduction and female attraction.

After you have been leading your family and wife for several months.

After you have read the books on the sidebar and understand why you are a "nice guy" and why nice guys really aren't.

After you understand about "Mindful Attraction" (Married Man's Sex Life Primer- MMSL) and "Red Pill Praexology" (The Book of Pook), and positive assertiveness (When I Say No I Feel Guilty).

After you are in shape for several months.

After you have tried seducing your wife and have been blowing away shit tests for several months.

YES AFTER ALL THAT...IS WHEN YOU MOVE TOWARDS "ACTIVE DREAD GAME" where you are actually approaching other women. It is not something you do in month 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. AT THE EARLIEST you do this by month 6. Before that, you should spend a couple months practicing on your wife. Treat your wife like a random woman and SEDUCE her. Your wife is probably the easiest person i the world for you to game. Make a real effort with her BEFORE you start approaching random women and flirting!

TLDR: Don't be the little boy demanding his candy. Build into a man before you overtly change anything or have a single discussion about all of this with your wife.

Finally: All the links in this post are on the sidebar.

It is right there =====>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


[–]UnlimitedEgo 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Something I don't see enough when dread is talked about though is that you shouldn't be mad or resentful when you use it. Remember, you're the strong alpha, be fun, have fun, and don't let stupid emotions have you doing dumb shit. If you're going out with the guys, it's fun for you- you shouldn't be thinking about (man this dread is so going to make her want me because fuck her I do what I want). Have fun, that's it. No woman wants some cocky asshole who does what they want when they want. They want a guy who has fun, and does what he wants to make his goals.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How can i control my anger response to bullshit and button pushing?

[–]spexerMRP APPROVED 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

deep breaths.

More importantly, you need to shift your perspective. With this happens, you will be smirking, chuckling and shaking your head at her tantrums.. See it as follows:

  • shit tests are invitations for you to prove your worth, so she can know you are worthy of her sex. This is a good thing.

  • See her as the oldest teenager in the room. Let her burn herself out like you would do with any teenager. Be the adult.

[–]OmegaMan2 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I personally think that the judicious use of soft dread can be quite effective when used in moderation. Example is when we go to parties and other women hit on me. I'm completely nonchalant about it and while I will talk to the ladies and occasionally dance with them it doesn't go further than that. While I'm very supportive of my wife and would never cheat, she also knows that other women want me. I don't rub it in her face and never act on the IOIs other women throw my way.

The secret is really to never let yourself go, be the man that other women want, but to also be loyal to your wife.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo- loyal but just a hint of uncertainty.

It is the gift of anxiety

[–]SteelToeShitKicker 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm, everything BPP said is true. I have absolutely been a red pill rambo, and I'm back at level 1 to start over.

That said, I don't think this can be avoided in many cases. The ego is too strong to not try out some shortcuts. The anger is too strong to not blame someone else. Only time and repeated failures can give you a sense of humility to see all the truth, and not just the truth you want to see.

I think it's just another stage of loss. Just like you can't skip the anger phase, I don't know that you can skip the red pill rambo phase.

Denial: Attempts to plug back into the matrix, often fails.
Anger: Self explanatory. Check TRP / askTRP for confirmation.
Bargaining: Red Pill Rambo stage. Maybe if I sack up and excude confidence, my problems will be over. Sprinkle a little alpha...
Depression: Red Pill Rambo doesn't work. So sad. Why didn't it work?
Acceptance: Ok, I suck, back to dread level 1.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR 😃 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice post BPP and to add to the circlejerking here I have a mini-fr from last night that I find absolutely hilarious. I take the stance that if you have to tell your wife to dread you, then you are going it wrong. Flip the smv scale, work the steps up to dread 6 and 60% of the time it works every time.

Mini-fr on passive dread and how it works so damned well (twist at the end)

Last night we went to a huge festival at a friends company that invited us. Social circle guys, its important. Anyways we take the kids and a stroller. Eat good food, drink free beer/wine, and have an awesome time. Ended up closing it down. Walked into a room, saw a huge group of people and laughed "This is where the secret party is" and struggled to get the stroller out the door because it slammed shut on it. Then as I was going out of the building through the double doors (think airlock) and this really nice girl about my age comes from that group and helps me with the door so I can get the stroller out and talks to me for a minute. Go back to wife and SHE IS FUCKING PISSED. Her exact words "How does that fat bitch think she flirt with you"? So i had a chuckle and carried on. The thought struck me, the wife wasn't pissed that she flirted with me, she was pissed because that girl was too ugly.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I put most of them on a podcast but you can turn a youtube into a podcast using a number of online tools

[–]Unpluggedredmist 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this post, it has totally squashed my hamster to start dread levels 7 and up (for now) I'm 8 months in and have had phenomenal improvements in all aspects of my life since swallowing the pill. But Like many I have a massive long hard Road ahead and alot of work to do. However my ltrs tingles aren't quite where I would like them to be and she took a while to start to mirror my image and attitude eventhough imposing my frame on her hasn't been too difficult . She got an exercise bike last month, after months of "do you think I'm fat?" comfort tests. My biggest obstacle to overcome is She saw me at my absolute weakest in icu 6 years ago and I was lucky to recover fully physically. It dried her up big time and tbh If we didn't have kids she probably would have branch swung. But since my smv has increased and getting more looks/eyefucks from other women etc her attraction is slowly building and I mean slowly. I have always been the leader of my family but maybe that's just in my own mind. This is why I have been considering upping the dread levels but after some thought I'm going to give her an opportunity to follow, maybe I should step up my lifting and jujitsu programme another level. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. Would like to add to anyone new to RP or MRP, being angry at your woman for her hypergamy is a waste of energy. Like Rollo Tomassi points out numerous times in The Rational Male, women are as much a victim of their solipsism as men are, and it takes an Alpha mindset to see that weakness in them and learn to manage it instead of being angry about it. This post is great, it's not about changing her, it's about creating the environment around her that allows her to give control up to a strong Alpha that will lead her.

[–]spexerMRP APPROVED 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It really is a simple formula for success. But people want shortcuts and blow it all up.

/sigh

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (48 children) | Copy Link

Stupid question, but where the Hell do women learn to 'shit test'? My father didn't even allow me to have 'resting bitch face'.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm 1 point2 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

It's a feature...not a bug.

Many consider it a social instrument learned by women to find men who aren't pathetic sacks of emotional jello thereby ensuring they don't go on to procreate smaller additional sacks of emotional jello.

In other words, a women who is shit testing a man is likely subconsciously sizing him up. It's the little wiggle waggle just before they get busy doing the official mating dance. You know...her allowing him to stick his penis into her vagina...repeatedly. Beyond that, I don't know what happens next...I have to read more Red Pill to find out. I'll be back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (28 children) | Copy Link

My pop taught me a lot. He would say things like, be a lady, smile a lot, don't be just another notch on some guy's bedpost, choose a good man that's honest, intelligent, opens the door for you, make him delicious food, when he comes home to you, be happy to see him, always wash your face and style your hair when you wake up, don't dress sloppy, stand up straight, don't gossip or do stupid things, don't be shallow...you get the idea. So I guess I just don't understand the whole shit testing thing cause I was taught differently.

Edit: a word.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My wife sounds a lot like you.

I even posted on here a while back about if I'm just dense and I'm completely missing these shit tests that supposedly every woman throws, or is she really a special snowflake. I've determined that she is a special snowflake. Married 8 years, she's kind, loving, let's me come and go as I please, she's hornier than I am, never shit tests me, etc.

See... The thing that most posters around here don't realize is that there is a certain type of man that marries a certain type of crazy woman. They find mrp and then reinforce to each other just how much every wife is JUST like their wife!! Hence we get retarded sayings like, "there are no special snowflakes" and "AWALT".

When the truth is actually that men in happy, non-shrew, plenty-of-sex marriages have no need to Google "why won't my wife fuck me", and never find mrp.

Don't get me wrong... I believe MRP is a fantastic tool for these men, and I've watched men turn their shit around and it's nothing short of amazing!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I keep asking myself, how do these men find these horrendous women and then marry them? Didn't they see the red flags? Wasn't pre-marital counseling involved? Did the sex cloud their judgement?

That's why It's good to wait to have sex until you're married. And if you don't, at least keep from shacking up. That way you'll keep objectivity and won't allow stupid things to slide.

Most women today see LTRs ( the kind that last upwards of 3 years) and shacking up as a conveyor belt to marriage. When in fact, cohabiting without being married raises your chances of domestic violence and abuse. Assuming you do marry because it's the 'logical next step', not because you respect, admire, and cherish the person, the chances of divorce increase also.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

how do these men find these horrendous women and then marry them?

Because they were NOT horrendous, soul sucking, sex denying, shit testing harpies until after the wedding. Something, something, something wedding cake.

A woman can be cruel, rude, and offensive and so long as she is putting out regularly with enthusiasm the man often misses it completely. It is only when she defeats the man, turns him into a Beta, and asserts her power by denying sex that men realize what they have done by getting married.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Which, again, I believe is a certain type of women that married a certain type of man that allows her to act like that. NAWALT.

Although, to be fair, I did watch my wife's boss (female), who was a horrible, horrible person put on a sweet and lovely face for 2 fucking years to this poor guy. She kept saying, "this is who I am... Really!" as we all sat there aghast that she would actually say that.

Sure enough, not one month after the marriage, she lets her true colors out and turns into the horrific beast we all knew she was.

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you do those things, you'll be in good shape vis-a-vis getting a good man. My wife didn't learn much from her divorced dad, whom she stopped seeing regularly when she was ten. Her mom is now thrice-divorced, and I'm fully expecting in a few years to be asked for her to move in with us... not a chance.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I chose wisely and treat kindly.

Also thank god you've got balls. My mom shacked up with her boyfriend for twelve years and had no power/say and his mom is still living with them 20 years later. Don't marry a mama's boy. That woman was so mean to me when I'd stay with my mom. At least my dad had the decency to marry his second wife before moving her in.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (21 children) | Copy Link

how old are you?

give it a few months with a consistent guy and you will find yourself doing it more often, and after a while, if he doesn't treat them correctly, hugs wont be enough. you will shit test a bit at first, if he passes, your shit tests will be more subtle but they will still be there.

There is a huge difference between shit tests that come off bitchy and those that come off cute. Mostly the difference is in the guy, but thats neither here nor there

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy Link

I'm 31 and married 3 years. My husband is sweet but knows not to take my crap when I'm PMS-ing. (It's difficult to fight against those hormones but it's doable.) He'll put me in my place and I'm grateful for that and tell him so. Other than that, I'm pretty good at controlling my behavior because I don't want to be disrespectful to the man I love.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

take my crap when I'm PMS-ing

well look at that - you, like every woman, shit tests.

shit test (or more correctly, congruence testing) is what actually allows you to build confidence in the fact that your husband is the person he projects to be, that he has a vision, and that he has faith in himself.

the blue/red divide is based on responses to shit testing. blue pill society says 'happy wife, happy life" - so blue pill men will accommodate women's requests, even if they're ridiculous. blue pill men won't "put me in my place" because reason. a blue pill man will put a woman's vision ahead of his own - he'll relinquish leadership implicitly.

Your husband doesn't sound like a retard. I'm sure he has his own circle of friends that he does things with too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Hyoerbole. I don't agree that all women shit test. It's poor character. I think you're missing a piece of the puzzle. Women that are broken shit test. Some get fixed and some don't. Listen to the Dr. Laura show for a week and you'll see what I mean. Or you can read her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

It's true that things that wouldn't bother me tend to be entirely irritating and annoying when I'm being washed in hormones for a week before my ladie's time. Heck even my ears become extremely sensitive to certain noise levels. It's just part of the physiology and I have no control over that. I may FEEL like being a bitch, but I won't act on it. Like I said, I may get a little snippy, but never disrespectful.

My husband doesn't have any friends here. He left them behind in the military. He has online friends and his brother, but that's it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

whatever you need to tell yourself snowflake.

you're like the guy who tells himself he didn't show any anger.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

I don't need to tell myself anything. It's called self control.

When you lose control, you lose.

"Don't say something permanently hurtful because you're temporarily upset."- Dr. Laura

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

I don't need to tell myself anything. It's called self control.

When you lose control, you lose.

Is this you saying you walk around with a stick up your butt?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Other than that, I'm pretty good at controlling my behavior

Either you are good at it, or you are not... there is no special circumstance for shitty behavior.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

He'll put me in my place and I'm grateful for that and tell him so.

HHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!! But you don't shit test? Yes, you do. It is just that your husband is a man and passes them. Most men here have been taught by their single mothers and weak/absent fathers that one is to be polite, and nice, and try to solve a girls problems if she is upset. That is really about 70% of what we are doing on MRP- trying to teach men how to pass shit tests.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well that is why I chose him. Because he doesn't even take crap from his own mother. It's fantastic!

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

...Hugs... :)

[–]redearththeory 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think its instinctual behavior. I've read a number of accounts written by women where they talk about just naturally starting to test and control men (boys) in their early teens. If the man passes the test he's strong and attractive. If he doesn't the woman starts to dominate him. When I was a teenager I frequently heard girls talk about "wrapping him around her little finger" with a combination of attraction and aggression leading to dominance. Humans are heard animals with dominance based social hierarchies, its just what we do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, I've witnessed such behavior. It's typical of the hot chicks to behave entitled. When we ladies treat a man right, he'll move Heaven and Earth for us. I'm sweet and polite and men think I'm flirting or attracted to them. I'm just treating him like a human being with feelings.

Anyway, I'll admit I'm prettier than some and not as pretty as others...I forgot where I was going with this. It's 2 am here and my husband is waiting for me.

Thank you for clarifying. I'm pretty new to Red Pill and it seems there are parallels to some of the views here and what Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been talking about on radio for over 20 years. Ciao.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dr. Laura Schlessinger

The Care and feeding of husbands is a totally Red Pill book on the Red Pill Woman sidebar.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Shit test is a catch-all term for things that women say that shouldn't be taken at face value. It's a mix of things like playful banter, covert communication, lack of assertiveness, and the emotional and verbal shield that women build up after years of unattractive men harassing them.
 
My favorite was a friend in high school who loudly said to an approaching guy, "Don't even talk to me unless your dick is at least 7 inches." She liked big dicks, but she happily made exceptions for confident, funny, attractive guys. There was a grain of truth, but it was mostly nasty humor and inflating her own ego while waiting for a guy who could match her style of banter.
 
The classic example is the woman who berates her husband for loading the dishwasher incorrectly. Though he did load it "wrong" in her eyes, the dishwasher isn't the reason she is angry. She is angry because of all the other things he has done. If he takes it at face value and argues about the dishwasher, or even if he apologizes and caves to her way of loading it, he has missed the point and diminished himself further in the eyes of his wife.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That behavior is appalling from a high schooler. This is why dad's are so important. They make boys into men and keep girls in check, assuming he's a good man.

I've got my own dishwasher story: I was leaving home for most of the day. Before I left, I asked my husband, "Darling, would you please load the dishwasher for me?"

I come back 6 hours later and open the machine to put them away. The dishes are loaded in but not washed.

I started cracking up. What else could I do? He did PRECISELY as instructed. Lesson learned. I wouldn't have brought it up except he heard me laughing and turning the machine on. (It's really loud.) He said, "I'm stupid. I didn't wash them, did I? Damn! I should have put the soap in and washed them!"

I told him not to worry as he did as I asked him. If I wanted clean dishes as well, I should not have assumed and taken for granted that they would indeed be washed and ready for me to put away when I got home.

Then he whisked me away to the bedroom and we had some fun and forgot all about those dumb dishes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

laughing

Laughing together is the best answer.

[–]throwawaysarenotok 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Laughter is the best medicine.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Shit test passed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd roll my eyes, but I'm afraid I'd see my brain back there. Lol.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It is natural to women.

It is also natural to men to respond with strong, positive masculinity to them. Unfortunately, that has been trained out of men with the "sit up straight and pay attention" schooling and the CONSTANT assurances that men and women are exactly the same. If you believe that, then women don't shit test any differently than men so there is no way to prepare for them.

Shit tests are a natural feature of male/female sexuality. Men have been trained to behave like women and fail them continually while women have been trained to deliver Shit Tests with brutal efficiency.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the discussion. I've learned a lot from this. I must go now. Ciao.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Assuming you're of good enough looks to have the pick of men around you, you probably don't know you do it. Get a little cranky when you're hungry? tired? Ever said something you didn't mean, but felt it at the time?

Yeah, those are shit tests.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I do get ornery when I'm hungry. Lol When I feel like I'm getting angry or want to say something dumb, I just ask for a hug. It makes all those feelings go away. Like doing push ups when I feel anxiety.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

you're young, give a boyfriend and a few weeks that ll change

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women with poor character do that, I've concluded.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

By a mans standard, sure. But you aren't men, and shouldn't be judged as such.

Look, you mean well, and you're probably not a schlub. Realize, you don't date women. Most of them are not prizes. Men are now being told not to even think of settling down before 30. It usually takes ten years of constant female interaction to find one that is worth a damn

Don't be mad about it, it means you had potential, you should be glad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That I do know. I've never wanted to be treated like a man. I LOVE being a woman and my husband's girlfriend of three years.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women with poor character do that, I've concluded.

FTFY

[–]Griever114 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is right there =====>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You should make this the TLDR... Fuck, even just the whole fucking post.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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