I saw it a lot when reading The Rational Male. The idea of hypergamy and how I ended up a BP explained. Why women, and people act the way they do psychologically and the cause and effect that logically leads to the modern day social dynamic. Ian Ironwood's Manosphere also does a good job of explaining how we logically got to Marriage 2.0, rampant feminism from both men and women, and the spawning of red pill men from the void their fathers left. Because it was so easily overlooked before, but now made such clear sense, I've taken to searching other areas of my life for more psychologically logical answers when I run into a problem with people and what drives them. An example follows:

 

My kids had been having a great time flying kites on the beach the few windy days we had down there. We only had one kite, a small one I bought for the 4yo last year. So I would sit there next to one of them while they flew it. I decided to buy one for myself this year so I could fly with my kid in a more father-daughter we're-both-doing-it kind of way. We were pretty excited one day when it was really windy down on the beach. We get on the sand and, in contrast to the multiple take-offs and crashes we've experienced on less windy days, this time all it took was a little toss to get the kite up into the wind. In my usual fashion I praised my 4yo holding onto the kite that she did such a great job getting the kite into the air. I told her how much of a pro she was and offered several "good jobs" and "you did its". When she let a bunch of string out and the kite got up there I continued praising "you did it you're flying your kite!" trying to elicit joy from her by overstating her accomplishments. I did the same thing with the 2yo who I let use my kite.

 

Not 2 minutes into flying they both are saying they want to go back up to the condo, much to my disappointment. I wanted to fly kites with my kids. I tried to talk them out of it but they wanted to head back. So I sent them back with their grandmother and sat there flying my damn kite by myself on the beach. I thought to myself: "Something just happened here. Something happened and it was likely my fault. What did I do wrong that made them want to leave so fast? Kids love flying kites." It could be that they're just kids and their mind changes at the snap of a finger. But possibly, I thought that there might just be some kind of logical psychologically explained trigger where the kids didn't want to, or weren't excited to fly kites anymore, and then it hit me. I had praised them so much that I basically gave them the idea that they did indeed do it. That they did what we came down here to do, that there was nothing more to master or try because I told them they were pros. They were likely thinking "I did it, now what's next?". In trying to elicit joy and fun from them I was actually taking it away because there was no further joy to work for.

 

This makes perfect sense, and has parallels with women and with the goals we set and reach for ourselves. With your woman, this is part of why you don't put her on a pedestal. This also is a part of why dread works. You don't want to give her that feeling that she is your everything, that she can do no wrong, and that you are giving all you can give of yourself to her. You want her to feel like there's a possibility you have more options, and that she could possibly have more from you. If she knows she "did it", knows she has you on lockdown or that she's getting all you have to offer, she's going to naturally think "I did it. What (or who) is next?"

We see the same things with personal goals that we set then reach. If you reach your goal to bench body weight how do you feel after that? Do you stop there? Is that what you'll bench from now on until your end of days? No, you think "I did it, what's next". You set a new goal either benching or maybe switch to focus more on squats or deadlift.

That's the same thing my kids did. I'm not saying you shouldn't praise your kids. Far from it. But I will certainly tailor the message more towards "you are doing a good job" in the future rather than "You did it." And I'll try and offer them another goal to keep them hooked: "Can you make the kite do a trick?". I encourage you to keep this in mind, and in addition next time someone acts a certain way that is confusing or unexpected, remember that nearly all actions can be traced back to a psychological purpose of "How can I make an outcome more positive for me?", "How can I make an outcome less negative for me?", or "How can I meet this or reach my next goal?".