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I just got home from coaching my son's little league team and wanted to share a gem from today.

One of our kids does not have a father in his life. His mother, who is a full time social worker has tried to get him into whatever sport she could.

The kid is not athletic. The mom is a single mom and does not have the know how that is needed to raise a boy in a masculine way. She tries, but there is just some shit that requires a man's touch.

He is uncoordinated, but he wants to be there and I appreciate that. I try to make sure I engage him and make it known that I am pleased when he is paying attention and doing as he is instructed. He has been coming around...

Today he has a frozen rope thrown his way, perfect throw from short to first.

He drops his glove down before the ball is there

Right in the fucking mouth

He puts his hand to his mouth and I immediately yell his name, he looks to me and I maintain eye contact and tell him that I cannot believe how hard core you are. Do you realize you just took a ball, traveling 75 miles an hour to the mouth and you didn't cry - (he's still trying to figure out if he is supposed to cry or not) I then tell him that he is a beast and is the toughest kid on this team and I tell the team that he is setting the example for them to follow.

All the kids fist pump him, high five him, call him an animal and the kid is super fucking proud. The rest of practice he keeps telling me, "Coach, I'm a beast"

This is but a sliver of what this kid needs.

His mom pulled me to the side after and told me that since I've been coaching him his confidence has soared. Obviously this makes me feel good as I am coaching unlike everyone else and wasn't sure how it would turn out - the other coaches for the other teams are fat and nice. I am motivating, yelling, fist pumping, and smacking helmets.

I encourage my boys to yell for each other, I get the parents to wear matching clothes, I am yelling the whole time - going the extra mile and racing them around the bases while the other coaches for other teams just watch their guys.

I try to show them what a man is and how he should act. With passion and competitiveness - showing them to appreciate hardwork and to believe in their team.

But these kids, like the one I talked about need more of this in their life.

I ask each of you to look at those young men in your life that you have the chance to interact with. Take them under your wing - make a difference where and when you can.

The next generation of men will only be men who embrace their masculinity if we show them how.

Acta Non Verba

EDIT

Because /u/OneMe2RuleUAll thought I was serious about the 75MPH - I wasn't serious, it was a throw from a 7 year old, I said 75 to build the kid up making him feel like he took a fucking line drive from David Ortiz off the face and still not cry.

This is what you need to learn, masculine men lie when necessary - I lied to a 7 year old about the speed because it made him feel better - sue me.


[–]over60_stupid_loner 19 points19 points [recovered] | Copy Link

All the kids fist pump him, high five him, call him an animal and the kid is super fucking proud. The rest of practice he keeps telling me, "Coach, I'm a beast"

Great story!

Just an add….Back in the dark ages, I also coached kid soccer teams. One team I coached was 6 yr. olds. At the parents meeting we made a rule. You should yell for the kids, BUT, tell them what they did right. Anything they do wrong is my job. If they run at the ball and get knocked down like a bowling pin, yell great run! I will teach, you encourage. Then we set up a rotation of parent monitors to remind the inevitable parent that forgets and starts coaching from the sideline. The kids and the parents had a great year, and this became my SOP for all future teams.

[–]AZTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's great structure right there. Shows the parents a true example. I bet there's been some osmosis of that concept into their family life too.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

On my 10th year of soccer parent so I have seen lots of teams . There is a direct correlation between how good the TEAM is and how either quiet or encouraging the parents and coach are. The yelling teams tend to have a few good ball hogs and the rest of the team is scared to make a mistake.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude, awesome story!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The story is nice, I hope the takeaway is received by all.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I coached football and there is nothing like it in the world.

Teaching kids how to hit and tackle is nothing. The most important lesson is teaching them how to get up after they have been tackled when it hurts. Teaching them how to shake it off. That's the money shot right there.

These kids are starving! They need masculine energy so badly it is ridiculous. Your description of your coaching style is about like mine. Yell and scream and create that energy to give 110% and leave it, leave all of it, on the field. Love it!

[–]AZTRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this. We need more of that in here. Real world, positive effect of embodied masculinity.

"still trying to figure out if he's supposed to cry or not"

Aside from infancy, kids perpetuate this because they aren't taught to stuff it like you showed him in a masterful way. Think back 60,000+ years when a yelp from a thorn might lose dinner for a tribe, it was essential for the hunters to learn discipline.

Thank you.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great story, and great example of masculine leadership. I will be this example for my nephews. Unfortunately, the one that needs it most is several states away and is being fucked up six ways from Sunday by my uber-bitch SIL and that spineless beta she calls a husband.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bravo.

It doesn't take much but consistency is key. I was lucky to have a great dad and great, positive, male role models in the scouts and at school but its kids like you talk about that I feel for. In some ways they don't stand a chance. I'm not saying they should be given up or anything, but how can we expect them to embody healthy masculinity when they've never seen it?

Our young boys and men need positive role models badly and I'm glad to see an example out there, good job.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of the most rewarding things I have EVER done was coaching sports. Up until this year, I always assisted with my kids' teams as my schedule allowed. This year I was the head and sole coach of my big boy's basketball team. Some of the parents (several single moms) were very appreciative of the attention I gave their different kids. The fact is that I recognized right away what disasters they were and made it my mission to make them feel awesome. Some of these poor kids looked at a basketball like it was an alien. Sad... And most of them had dads. Sigh...

We ended unbeaten. When the probably gay fat kid on the team finally made a basket... best moment ever. Big hugs and smiles from him and his family.

[–]user_none1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mentors, man, mentors. Kids, especially the young boys, need positive male role models. Strong role models. Masculine role models.

Your little blurb about daily life is the kind of thing that brings some positive examples into what's an otherwise pussified culture.

[–]cholomiteCholo Rojo - MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My dad wasn't a total asshole but he wasn't around a lot and it was mostly my mom and aunts raising me. Because of that I feel like I owe it to any boy I know being raised in those conditions to at least spend a little time running around and fucking shit up outside and just doing guy shit. It's so obvious when you spend time with a kid who only is around his mom most of the time. He has to get out and fuck shit up sometimes otherwise they go nuts. Wrecking rc cars into each other will always be fun, I don't care how old I get.

Honestly though, it almost becomes too much sometimes with the moms. It's like they see you with their kid and just need to fuck you. I've definitely had way too many obvious IOI's from women after kicking a soccer ball or flying planes with their kid in the park. I'm not trying to sound like a douchebag either, even in my scrawny bluepill days, I knew a woman with a husband who worked all the time and I took her kid out for the day and practically had to fight her off of my dick later that night with him on the computer upstairs. I just wanted to run around outside and go to the zoo, not break up a family.

Not trying to take away from the wholesomeness of your post, the next generation of men needs all the help they can get. But that doesn't mean the hot mom's have to be ignored either.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TL;DR for those of us without sons...showing our growing daughters and other young women what a positive masculine man looks/acts like is just as important as being a role model for the young men in our lives.

Good story and example of being a positive male role model, TFA. My father, uncles and father's friends were all pretty masculine and active guys. I am lucky to have a good dad who, for the most part, lives his life how he wants and always treated myself, siblings and my mom well.

So in a sense I have a lot of positive masculinity that I want to pass on. Problem is I don't have a lot of outlets for that now. I have two young daughters and we aren't having more kids. I wouldn't trade it for anything but you get my point. Anyway, I coach my 6 year old daughter's soccer team. Whole different ball of wax than coaching boys. Years ago I coached an elementary school lacrosse team so I know both sides.

Considering this, my goal is to show these girls how to have fun, give it your best and show them what a good, masculine man acts like. Some of their fathers seem with it, but most seem "out to lunch" with the blue pills. Hopefully I can help the next generation by showing these girls how real men act, have fun, how they handle challenges, and how a confident, masculine man treats women. My goal is for these girls, and most importantly my own daughters, to see my example as a positive one and something they look for in their lives when they grow up, for their future happiness and the happiness of whatever man they choose.

When girls see their moms brow beat, publicly nag and belittle their dads they think that's just how marriage is. If I can change that just a little I'll be happy.

It's worth noting that Practices have been a gold mine for practicing AM. And I'll be damned if it doesn't seem like some of these little pib-squeaks are shit testing me sometimes.

[–]southinurmouth1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

How anyone could downvote this is beyond me. Great story.

[–]ZeeyardSAUnplugging0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great takeaway here for me. Thanks again!

[–]ReddJiveMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

All the time in the dojo.

Kid takes a punch to the face and that's his moment. Every time they come through it like champs.

Tears being to form I grab them by the helmet and look them in the eye.

ME: You good to continue?

they suck it up...hold the tears back nod and say

THEM: I got this sensei.

mouth piece goes back in and it's go time.

Kids are far more resilient then we give them credit for. We just need to lead the way.

Tonight is "fight night" in our dojo. We test for black once a year, on rare occassion we will have one mid year because someone's has a life event that will take them away but has earned the chance to test and can't wait the year out (i.e. college...). Sometimes it's an adult that is sitting in a weird pattern that will have to go too long but has earned the chance.

On Fight Night the whole dojo shows up for 3 hours. IN that 3 hours black belt candidates spar...all night. 1v1, 2v1, 3v1....everyone spars for 3 hours. Fucking awesome night.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking awesome

I think the parents are happy to see a man tell there kid to hold it back and fight on. It is preparation for their Rite of Passage when they truly become men. When the world hits them hard and they get back to their feet - except when they stand from that punch, they rise as a man.

For me it was bootcamp, for some it was losing a parent, others it was coming out of some other tragic or life altering event.

The common theme is something happens that breaks you down - and you get back up.

What we are doing here is preparing them to stand and preparing them to push forward when the hits happen.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know what? Deep down we KNOW this shit. Despite all the beta programming, we KNOW that we all thrive on this stuff. Put a bunch of decent boys together, give them some structure, and they'll conquer the fucking world. I've never been happier in my life when in a team and kicking butt. Nothing like it.

[–]MRPguyMarried0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Side note: Many of my patients are children. They can undergo some painful stuff and they will NOT cry until the parents give them permission to/demand it.

Example: placing an IV. Kid knows it hurt but is fine. Fist bump and a "nice job!" from me. No big deal. Kid looks at mom and mom says "that must have hurt, I'm so sorry," and kid starts the tears flowing immediately.

Shitty parenting.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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