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Read the full article @ The Family Alpha: https://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/05/24/balancing-the-scales/

Many men who are married or in long term relationships are turning the tide. They are reclaiming their masculinity and because of this their relationships are reaching new heights. As these men improve they are helping their spouse improve as well. So, not only is the quality of the marriage rising but so is the quality of the two individuals who make up that relationship.

Side Note: You will see that I bounce from marriage and relationship often as this applies to both those who are married as well as those who are in long term committed relationships.

This post is going to touch on the literal side of balancing the scales – your woman’s confidence. Often times I write about the man embracing his inner self and through this action he will in turn become a better man for his woman. He improves for himself, but that improvement directly translates to her as she is the one married to this improving man and it reaffirms her original notion that you were a masculine man and worth marrying and having sex with.

As your confidence grows through physical fitness, growth in knowledge regarding interpersonal relationships & the female mind, as well as your improvement in laying game you can transfer that to your woman through strategic planning and critical application of leadership through example at the right moments.

A lot of guys I talk to on the MRP have a hard time with getting their wife onboard the improvement train. A lot of the guys are raising their SMV by leaps and bounds and then get frustrated and disappointed when their wife does not reflect these changes.

What these men fail to recognize is that they discovered they were not satisfied and they found the need to improve – the wife hasn’t reached that point. So, inspire her to do exactly that. Here are a lot of the complaints I am seeing repeated over and over. I will list them out and then go provide ways to combat this push back/lack of confidence.

  • My wife doesn’t want to have sex with the lights on or shower together.

  • My wife is not in shape and now I am finding her less attractive.

  • My wife just sits on her phone, unhappy.

When you look at these three quick examples it is clear to see these guys are pointing the finger and saying, “my wife” – when in reality they need to be looking at her as a reflection of their poor leadership. Gentlemen, the onus is on you to lead your woman to wherever you want her to be. Do you see that all three of these examples share one common theme? A woman who lacks confidence…

When is the last time your wife stepped on a scale in front of you?

Some guys will read that and laugh, I’m dead fucking serious – tell me when.

There seems to be this persistent belief that women don’t share their age & women don’t share their weight. No fucking shit chicks are lacking confidence, society is telling them they are supposed to think and act a certain way and weak men are supporting it.

Does that sound familiar?

If you have the energy and determination to break the mold our feminized society has placed you into – then you had better be ready to provide the same efforts to break the mold your woman is stuck in.

She should be able to confidently step on the scale in front of you. She should confidently share her age- coming from a military background I am of the belief that too many have been deprived of the privilege to grow old.

You should be the man who gets her to that point.

My wife doesn’t want to have sex with the lights on or shower together.

Your wife is afraid of you seeing her bare body. Your wife is afraid to be vulnerable in front of you. Think about it. In both of these scenarios she is exposed to you, as bare as the day she came into the world. Do you want to know how you get her comfortable with this? Through slow - gradual steps with positive reinforcement.

You don’t force her saying, “We fuck with the lights on because I say so.” That is domineering not dominant and as I’ve said before – you want to be the dominant force in her life.

You don’t force her to do these things; you inspire her to do them on her own. You provide the compliments of how you love her body. When you cuddle you put your hand on the parts she tries to get you to avoid – stomach, arms, wherever her sensitive area is, desensitize it to your touch and have her grow more confident in those areas.

Women think way too much. As time passes she will go from ‘he thinks my stomach, arms, c section, etc.’ are disgusting to ‘Ok, he isn’t disgusted, I’m going to trust him and open myself up – let the wall down and risk being hurt – but he’s earned it and he won’t hurt me’.

Maybe it is having sex a few times with the windows open but the lights off. Then moving that to sex with the lights on but under the blankets, then from there lights on and naked bodies everywhere. When the kids go to bed, ask her to come rub you down in the shower, have her wash her king. However you have to spin it to your woman – do that.

My lady and I have the whole King/Queen thing going so she views our marriage as something like that and thinks showering with me and scrubbing me is like a Queen tending to her king. I view her as my precious innocent lady, I love rubbing her body down. It isn’t always about the sex either, we’ve had showers where we just get cleaned up, and maybe make-out a little, then hop out and do our thing.

The point is, you need to ease into these things.

Read the full article @ The Family Alpha: https://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/05/24/balancing-the-scales/


[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Even further when was the last time you noticed your wife did something new and you complimented her on it?

MRP likes to talk about SMV and whatnots. TFA never shuts up about leading your wife. I don't shut up about lifting. You should also not shut up about rewarding your wife for the positive things. This includes letting your wife know the parts of her you find attractive. My hands are constantly on my wifes hips, ass, and love handles. She isnt afraid to be naked in front of me, because she feels that I find her attractive.

Dont be the guy who is pissed at his wife because she is only 12% instead of 11% BF.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My hands are constantly on my wifes hips, ass, and love handles. She isnt afraid to be naked in front of me, because she feels that I find her attractive.

Exactly this.

My wife gets butt fucking naked at random times because she is comfortable doing that with me. It wasn't always this way and until I recognized my failure to make her feel comfortable - fixed it - and my life is now better as my Lady confident which translates to better sex, more smiles, and fucking happiness.

[–]cholomiteCholo Rojo - MRP MODERATOR5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Solid. As we all improve and get hotter everyday, you have to love your woman as she is now if you want her to join you on becomming better later. You chose her, and if she's fat it's because you weren't leading properly or worth it. It's much easier and more likely to get her on board long term if she feels positive about her body instead of negative and ashamed going into it. This whole post is on point.

I always laugh when dudes come on here and bitch about how fat and gross their wives are. Like, that's on you man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

that's on you man.

This is where owning your shit comes into play.

Men need to own not only their specific actions of 'self', but also those they are responsible for.

Own the failures of your wife and children - help them be better people.

In the Navy I was a firm believer that if you take care of your men they will take care of you.

You want a wife who helps make you better and helps improve your standard of life? Take care of her by allowing her to be her feminine self which is only possible if you are the masculine powerhouse you should have always been.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a great post. It's gold like this that keeps me coming back here. 12 months ago I wouldn't have thought any of what I have now was possible in any marriage.

[–]viderelux0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

He improves for himself, but that improvement directly translates to her as she is the one married to this improving man and it reaffirms her original notion that you were a masculine man and worth marrying and having sex with.

You have described exactly what's going on in my life right now. Not 5 weeks ago my wife stood on the scale in front of me for the first time in...well, longer than I can remember. It was the beginning of her desire for change. One thing that has helped her confidence is that even though I have been improving myself, I continue to choose her and more than that, have been much better about expressing my desire for her.

Thank you for your perspective on this...I half expect someone to chime in that the woman's confidence is meaningless and why should we care about her?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I half expect someone to chime in that the woman's confidence is meaningless and why should we care about her?

Negative, the guys who think like that are weeded out early on.

Not 5 weeks ago my wife stood on the scale in front of me for the first time in...well, longer than I can remember.

Fucking awesome man.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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