This post is essentially a 'thank you' to the long time contributors of this forum and an encouragement to those who are new.
I stumbled across MRP by hitting the random reddit button and it changed my life. The three first sidebar books were eye-opening and enlightening.
I have been married for 23 years and if you asked me if I was happy, I would have said, 'yes.' We married at 23, both with n counts of zero. She has a professional degree, outearned me for the first 20 years. I'd say we were about HB6's (she topped at 7 while running track in college. I could be 7 if I lifted) I was (and am in many ways) the perfect beta-max.
Our marriage is strong, little chance of straying...we molded things to the current fashion of equal everything. We pool the money, divide the household tasks, and enjoy each other's company. She gives me plenty of alone time. We spend much of our time raising 4 kids (2 in college now, 2 middle school) and are typically worn-out from a day's activities. We are able to get out for weekends away and vacations with the family. We had some years with major struggles and came out the other end stronger. All in all, a good life and good marriage that I would have chosen again. And yet...
In two areas I was uneasy and had that nagging doubt that all was good. The first, is obviously the sexual arena and the second was the understanding that with both of us leading, neither of us was. The household was adrift with no real direction or focus other than making it through each day. As for sex, it was and is always available. I'm unsure I've ever been given the hard no. However, there was lots of starfishy duty sex...lots of that. I was the clueless good guy, always concerned that I didn't appear to want it too bad...too worried about what she wanted, unsure, timid...what I now know to be nuclear passion killers. She gained enough weight to drop her SMV a point (edging up to two), while mine has probably moved upward. She threw me SO MANY signals about how she wanted me to lead...Asking my opinion on every single damned thing no matter how trivial, giving me carte blanche in the bedroom (and me having no idea how to use it), telling me she likes to feel 'desired.' My good guy conditioning could not be overcome.
Stumbling across MRP was like being instantly smacked in the face with a 2x4. It INSTANTLY hit home. I read the sidebar through and was astounded how much of me was in there. The course prereqs were revolutionary. I began my MAP.
Every single little bit of alpha I add to myself has resulted in clearly tangible benefits in both the household 'progress' and in the bedroom. I have not yet begun to realize many gains from lifting, but they are coming. Of more importance in my life has been the more dominant stance in terms of sex and her very positive responses to me taking control of the wheel (finances and household direction- goals). Dread, simply in terms of improving myself, has worked magic. I changed jobs to a more risky, but higher paying job with more social status after reading NMMNG. I had been scared to death to pull the trigger on this change. (thank you RG!)
The Family Alpha website has been the most relevant application of RP to my life. I'm very out of touch with the PUA and the plate mentality that much of RP revolves around (except how it applies to married seduction). It's all good for others and I am probably missing out on all the RP has to offer, but for me, that stuff will never be on the table unless I am divorced. Monogamy and the idea of living out my vows are central to who I am.
I guess my point is: MRP can help even those who are struggling with good to mediocre marriages. It can help those of us who are not looking outside the bounds or our marriages. Every bit o' alpha I inject into my being has taken our marriage to a new level. Especially in the sexual area, I have reaped immediate rewards in both the variety and intensity. I expect that when the lifting gains take hold, it can only get better. (the beginner gains drew comment and ACTION enough!) MRP works, but it is not easy. The biggest obstacle I have to overcome is myself. I like to shirk responsibility and struggle with laziness...both things Captains can ill afford. MRP gave me the incentive and the tools to start chipping away at that old me and the benefits arising from that have been impressive.
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