TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

45

tl:dr - epiphany leads to forward motion. TRP is neither a sprint, nor a marathon. Let go of the idea of a 'finish line' or fail.

Intro

Early 30's man. Young ish marriage. Young son. Been red pill aware for 3-4 years. (Talk About Marriage forum > Athol Kay> MMSL forum> wider manosphere) Landed at reddit/MRP 6 weeks ago. Have read extensively on masculinity, red pill thought etc etc. Read NMMNMNG and, MMSL, SGM, Rollos's works, etc. The Manosphere seems to me in great part to be outrage whoring on the latest SJW transgression. I get it. The wider world is fucked. Feminism has ruined everything.

Except in my world, my tiny sphere of influence.

I don’t live in the wider world. I live in my world. I choose who to spend time and attention with, whos opinions are of value to me, and all the rest of it. My world contains: my wife, our son and my dog. That’s it - my duty is to them. I must lead my wife, I must guide my son, and my dog - he's my oak. A woman will never love a man unconditionally - a dog will, always. Friends and family pass in and out, strangers sometimes, but everyone is here by my invitation. It takes much more digging through the Manosphere to find gold than shit nowadays. MRP gleamed like a shiny gleamy yellow nugget to me.

I’m refreshed to find a place where Men are held to high standards by their peers, and they give each other help rather than bleating on about how fucked everything is. I have a son, therefore it is my duty to raise him to be a Man. That’s my purpose. He will follow my example, whatever that is- so it’s on me to make it an exemplary one. My catalyst to recent changes has been a mindset shift, which I may expand upon in later posts. I've lurked for long enough, I want to thank you for inspiration and advice by chucking my own philosophical hat in the ring and testing a concept.

I'll run with the caveat that as there is nothing new under the Sun, that another man has said the same, more eloquently than I will- however, this was my epiphany and I share it both to thank you for making fireside conversation which has been valuable to me, and as an introduction of a little value as I push my way onto a log with you by the fire.

Body

Only you have the power to end the anger phase - and it is simple, but not 'easy.' Here's how I did it:

Abandon the mental objective of one single 'finish line.'

Why? Because you are a man. There is no finish line, no destination, no prolonged respite. Your wife will not be waiting with a glass of beer, a sloppy beej and a sunny disposition at the tape. She will not be transformed forever into your perfect vision of wifeliness in reflection of your development. This is why you must be utterly at peace with the fact that as a Man, the only validation worth paying attention to is internal. You are a Man. Marching into a headwind is your lot in life, just as her eggs running out is hers. Embrace it. Revel in the sensations of each boot striking the ground in front of you, rather than some nebulous goal which doesn’t exist.

How many of us have started this journey, seen progress, gotten complacent, and lost Dem Gainz, all because our mental point of reference is calibrated to the idea of an ‘achievement’ being distinct, finite, attainable? Study a course> pass exam> rest. Train for a competition> do competition> rest. Life isn't like that - sorry you've been told it is. We all were.

Lesson

My journey started because I finally understood the nature of what I had to do. What is different this time around is I know what I have to do, and how to do it.

The sooner you accept that your path to being a Man is perpetual, rather than finite, the easier the anger will smoulder out, and you will learn to take satisfaction from placing one boot in front of the next, and revelling in the scenery.

External validation is for women. You must learn to abandon your reliance on it.

‘Alpha’ (Fuck I hate that term) cannot be a destination. For the newly awakened, it is best that you accept it now- your life will always be a struggle. She will always test you.

The game is always being played.

Edit: typo, expand on 'my world' point. And F'ING formatting.


[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How many of us have started this journey, seen progress, gotten complacent, and lost Dem Gainz, all because our mental point of reference is calibrated to the idea of an ‘achievement’ being distinct, finite, attainable?

This was me. I started 3 years ago, and after a year and a half, thought I had a handle on things. I started slowly backsliding (though not to the 6 month droughts of pre RP). Realized how far I let things get, and now slowly picking up the things I've been slacking off on.

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Needed this. If I'm constantly pursuing perfection, its a short road to depression and suicide. But accepting that nothing will ever be perfect, that I will struggle my entire life, and that (like u/GatemouthBrown said) nothing has the power to define me entirely... that makes life tolerable.

One of my favorite sayings is Ask not for a lighter burden, but broader shoulders.

[–]turbosonofman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The bond between man and dog is so awesome. Dogs suffer in the blue pill world just as much as men. Give your dog a job and a purpose. They will thank you.

[–]GatemouthBrown1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I once told my brother to stop looking for a zero maintenance state of satisfaction that you can attain and then enjoy forever. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist not only because the struggle has no finish line, it also doesn't exist because life circumstance is non-linear. Life is multifaceted. It is not a single path or race. I try to visualize it like the Epcot center building. Each of those facets is a facet of your life. One may be your sex life. Another could be your success in training your dog. Still another could be your struggle to outperform that asshole at work. You get the point, it's multifaceted.

At any time, one of those facets could be on the rise while another could be falling. Sure, you could weight and average them all for an overall assessment of how pleased you are in total, but to stop seeing them as a multitude of independent facets is a mistake, I think. There is this tendency that I see in my brother and a lot of the people around me to let a serious snag in one facet dominate his assessment of the whole. My nephew could make the sort of stupid decision that teenagers make and my brother decides that he is a failure at life, not just a dad whose kid is acting like a teenager. The guy hosts two really cool radio shows and lives in a tropical paradise. He lives walking distance from the best damn Cuban sandwiches ever. He lives in an era where he doesn't have to listen to whatever newest iteration of Kidzbop is dominating the airwaves (and that's been close to 90% of everything on the radio since about 1980, btw), he can go to Youtube and watch Carlos Santana and Gatemouth Brown play together with a surprise appearance from Buddy Guy. Some facets ebb while others flow. We do our best to make as many facets thrive as possible, and we certainly shouldn't allow any facets to go neglected, but none of those facets is everything.

edit: damn typo

[–]MRPguyMarried1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is no finish line, no destination, no prolonged respite.

Cheers. The finish is when you have perfected yourself, read all there is to read, discovered all there is to discover, made monuments to yourself, conquered all that need conquering, etc. It never ends, don't let your guard down.

Well done.

[–]maxofreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Up....vote

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter