There was a recent reference to my first post on the manosphere made more than 2 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1vypft/blue_pill_40_something_having_problems_swallowing/

I encourage any new guy having trouble swallowing the pill to read this. When I wrote it I was literally recovering from a multi-day manic bout of insomnia. I had just gone to see a buddy (former employer actually) who was a divorce attorney and had just returned from the bank to separate our finances.

As I describe in my book: Saving a low Sex marriage: A Man's Guide to Dread, Seduction, and the Long Game:

A little more than a year ago measured from the time when I started writing this document, I was on the brink of divorce. I had sex with my wife about twice a month—which I was to learn is what we call a “pity fuck” and an “ovulation fuck” every month and in recollection it was literally like clockwork. How could I have not noticed?

Even worse than the sexual deprivation, and yes sex just twice a month is torture to a healthy male, was knowing that my wife was not attracted to me, although it was much worse than I thought. There was a period spanning several years where when we did have sex. I could tell it was just an act. Recently she admitted to me (now that we have very hot, very eager sex several times a week) that it felt like she was being “raped” every time we were intimate, and it had felt that way for many years. She told me about how she would look at the ceiling and, think about work and how this was just another unpleasant, filthy task to perform. My wife is a lawyer who works in white collar crime, so she knows all about dealing with the filthy tasks and the rotten people that somebody has to fuck around with and keep satisfied.

We spent our 20th Wedding anniversary in a Paris hotel and only had sex once the entire two week time we were on vacation. Our last night was supposed to be a celebration of two decades of love and marital bliss but it didn’t work out that way. After a romantic tour of the city of lights at night we returned to our room only to have my wife inform me she was “tired and not in the mood.” Something inside me snapped at that moment. This was when I completely disconnected from my wife and decided that I was going to have the sex life I deserved with or without her. This fiery, disrespectful little sex denying shrew was not going to prevent that any longer. This was the moment when I made my break and decided that the wife I had, and the life we had built, was just not going to cut it. I was so furious I can barely remember the trip home, but I do recall my wife trying to talk to me during the flight back and me ignoring her completely. I was not rude or disrespectful any longer, and I completely stopped mirroring my wife’s behavior. I was done with the relationship and the marriage at that point.

I was not exactly indifferent and would have to say that a better description would be filled with anger, even hatred. We came home, and I was honestly preparing to file for Divorce. I was done. For a short time, I was so depressed I could barely function. Then one night I googled: “Why won’t my wife have sex with me?” It did not take long to discover Athol Kay’s two books: Married Man’s Sex Life Primer, 2011 and The Mindful Attraction Plan, which I blew through along with the all- important No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, in a three-day manic binge. When I discovered the manosphere, I was literally so upset I could not sleep for three straight days! I was a wreck for more than a week.

How could I have not seen it? I have a fucking PhD in human behavior and not a single class, not a single professor, not a single book or paper told me any of this. In fact they told me precisely the opposite. In taking the “Red Pill” I had to accept that my hard one PhD, at least insofar as how my discipline dealt with intimate relations, was not worth the parchment paper on which it was printed. They told me men and women were exactly the same except for some “minor plumbing.” They told me that men and women work together and any problems are due to “inequality” and that human nature is totally dependent on the social inputs. They lied. They looked right in my eyes and lied to me for many years.

So here I was, a fucking (Bluepill) PhD in human behavior with more than a decade of experience investigating divorce cases. I had absorbed dozens of books on relationships and sex and marriage. I studied the Bible for clues. I had counseled a dozen couples out of their divorce and back together. I thought I knew everything.

There was just one tiny problem. Despite all my "expertise" I was in a failing marriage. We had sex twice a month and my wife treated me with disrespect and complete contempt. She was unhaaappppy!

When I read MMSL my world exploded. I can still hear the roaring in my ears and my pounding heart when I think about it. All of that education and practice and ALL of it was wrong.

Then it got even worse as I thought back on all my past relationships.

I had some success and a partner count north of 10 in college and always had a girlfriend. Yet each relationship failed. Each girl I seemingly "loved" more than the last and each girl, one by one, either cheated on or dumped me.

What could have been the problem? I was doing what all the books said to do. Listen to her. Take time to help her with her problems. Be kind and gentle. Be sweet to her. Buy her things. Surprise her with dates and trips. Share with her your innermost feelings and dreams.

My mistake was that I listened to the advice of all my female friends, my mother, my sisters, my lovers, my classmates. I had polled all of them(!) trying to find out what I was doing wrong. ALL of the women told me the same thing: I was too loud and mean. I was gruff and volatile. I made crude jokes that "no" woman wants to hear. I NEEDED TO BE A NICE GUY BECAUSE ANY GIRL WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU. TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN AND SHE WILL TREAT YOU LIKE A KING.

It "worked" every time. The loud, obnoxious, gruff, legal investigator softened for each girl and showed her my tender side. Then we had sex to reinforce it. Oh Good! It is working. So I showed her more emotion. I treated her even nicer. I even stopped swearing around them (disrespectful) and took the time to hold her in my arms and listen to her day (sensitive). I lowered my voice and stopped "yelling" (obnoxious) and stopped complaining (critical). Then she became "unhappy" and left me heartbroken each time.

What was my mistake intrepid Red Pill pioneers?

The answer is so obvious now but it was not until I awakened from the Matrix. The problem was that I listened to women. I trusted women. I thought my sisters and my mother and my lovers WANTED me to succeed. I didn't know about Shit Tests and had been educated that men and women are the same.

If you learn anything from Red Pill praexology know this: Men and women are NOT the same.

If you take away any lesson from MRP know this: Women do NOT have your best interests in mind when you ask them for help.

Women are Shit Testing machines. There is a reason they like cats when they can't find a man after the wall. They ARE cats. They like nothing better than to toy with and bat around a helpless little animal squirming and squealing in pain. They play the sexual denial game not because they don't want sex, but because it gives them pleasure to torture a man. It gives them power to torment and titillate and deny. They do it very deliberately and in a very calculated way much of the time. and they ENJOY IT.

Don't ever forget that! Your wife gets a THRILL by flaunting her body in front of you and then crossly complaining and denying sex. THIS is why we say Outcome Independence and DNGAF. You MUST take away the pleasure she gets from denying sex if you want to change it. You MUST pretend like it doesn't matter to you because if you show her your pain and frustration it rewards her! Are you getting pissed yet? Good!

There are two main secrets about women: First, they are designed to trick and torment any weak man they encounter and they will do this every opportunity you give them. They will probe, and probe, and probe, and poke and poke and poke. They will attack you when you least expect it. When you need them most they will turn on you. YOU CANNOT RELY ON A WOMAN FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT OR VALIDATION. This is the main Red Pill truth.

The second is that they are also designed to submit to a strong man who refuses to listen to them or put up with their theatrics and unpleasantness. In fact, they desperately WANT that, yet at the same time they fight tooth and nail to destroy any man who tries to draw them into his frame.

Gentlemen, it is a long, often painful journey that is only for men willing to accept hard truths. It is a difficult task effectively "falling out of love" and realizing that she is NOT in your corner. At best she is in the crowd yelling for blood- NOT for yoru victory. She is most excited when a heavy uppercut sprays blood and gore all over the audience. Then, smiling, she wipes her face and tastes the salty blood, which arouses her. It doesn't matter to her whether that is the blood of her lover or the other fighter. What matters is that a man is being HURT, and THAT is exciting to women. The only thing more exciting is when a woman is the CAUSE of that hurt. This gives her power.

Don't forget that brothers. Stay manly and remember. These bitches, even your wife, aint shit and are nuthin but tricks and hoes. Act accordingly. DNGAF, cultivate other options, stop emoting, be stoic and confident- ESPECIALLY when you are not, decrease the time you spend on "quality time" with your wife and get your ass to the gym.