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1 year later, the Pill has side effects (self.marriedredpill)

submitted by Texan69

All,

The Red Pill became a part of my life one year ago, and I've found this space incredibly helpful. I'm in my early 50s and in a post- divorce-rape LTR. My situation isn't yours, of course. But I wanted to post on my one-year RP "rebirth day" in an effort to give back. These are some of the side effects you may experience.

If you're just getting started, you're likely to find that:

  1. The anger and sense of despair fade. There is real truth to the cliche that "it doesn't get easier, but you get better." Lifting and accomplishing goals help in a big way even if the goals you achieve are small.

  2. TV shows and movies will become unwatchable. Your awareness will inevitably make you recoil in anger at nearly every movie and nearly every time you turn on the TV: The fem-centric brain beating never stops. Even my enjoyment of the NFL has been ruined by anti-male commercials, forced pink uniforms during "women's health month," and nausiating "public service announcements." There is an upside to all of this: Less entertainment = more time for self-improvement.

  3. You will be tempted to drop RP wisdom on your beta co-workers, friends, relatives, and even women. Don't. It will help nobody and lead nowhere. Let your actions do the talking. As you develop frame and strengthen it, the people in your life WILL react. The subtle long-term changes probably will have more impact than trying to become an alpha jerk-boy overnight.

  4. You will start to notice and resent the feminine imperative in your workplace unless you're lucky enough to have chosen a male-oriented line of work. Conniving female managers, cubicle drama queens, and HR political officers probably irritated you in even your most beta days. But now, you despise their behavior on a whole new level. You may just find yourself considering a career change.

Above all, you will experience struggle-- and hopefully come out better on the other side. I'm still climbing and it usually isn't easy. But it really is better to live an ugly truth than a pretty lie. Stay frosty, gents!


[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

TV shows and movies will become unwatchable.

When I was first unplugging, I also found music on most stations to be unbearable, all the ONEITIS love songs, I found myself switching stations, and sometimes turning the radio off.

To all those ragging on the OP about still being in the Anger Phase, he did start his list with

If you're just getting started, you're likely to find that:

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Join the 21st century, get Spotify, and use the next button every time a whiny BP song comes on (and be prepared for a lot nexting).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was an issue when I was first unplugging, made me angry as hell, wanting to punch something for the lifetime of lies and how heavily I bought into it all.

Slacker is my digital player of choice.

[–]luckyguy19 9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

All this. My problem is that as I look around I can see the whole world getting worse and worse. The path the world is on in its current form cannot be sustained.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I could not disagree more.

The world has never stayed on the same path for long anyway.

The decline and end of the world has been the popular topic of naysayers for thousands of years.

[–]thetotalpackage7 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

For thousands of years, nature had a way of thinning out the herd that couldn't do much for themselves. Cruel, but true. Thanks to western medicine and technology, the herd is not only expanding but over-running the west.

If you believe that all peoples are born with the same IQ and abilities, you kidding yourself. There are factual reasons that the decline of the world is at hand. To think otherwise is ignorant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks to western medicine and technology, the herd is not only expanding but over-running the west.

Here we agree.

[–]Fryguy48 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Right? All I can see is a future, not so distant destruction .

[–]enfier2 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't say that. The undesirable males will vote themselves out of the gene pool in a world of distraction with ever improving video games and weed. Far better than sending them all off to war. The betas will churn the economy harder in an ever more difficult game of trying to land a post-wall woman that's ready to settle down. The state will legislate the transfer of wealth to the women and kids via taxes, health care, maternity benefits and child support. The women will have a great time running the CC with the top 20% of guys until they break 30 and want kids. If there are problems caused by crumbling social institutions, the state will legislate some sort of solution.

If you are in the top 20%, it's going to be great. An endless supply of women down to fuck with zero consequences, so long as their friends, boyfriend and husbands don't find out. It's not even hard to be in the top 20% since the average chump has such a pathetic showing. Lift, don't be obese, dress well and be able to handle a shit test without crumbling and you'll be getting laid.

[–]Fryguy48 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see, however, i see more than just the feminist agenda affecting this economic downfall (At-least in Canada anyways).

[–]enfier 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The political establishment has no issue dealing with feels vs reals. They simply make a huge deal of some ultimately unimportant issue like health care plans paying for birth control, and then let everyone get their feels out while they deal with the reals quietly in the back room.

The economic system is the same, it works around inefficiency pretty well. Sticking a few women on the board doesn't really do anything, particularly if nobody actually cares what they say. A few middle managers here or there will either work out or if they don't can be quietly shuffled off to a place where the only damage done is their paycheck. CEOs and the like can be picked from the qualified candidates, it's not like there aren't women willing and capable to be leaders.

On a country basis, if the legislation is bad enough, companies will simply move their official operations elsewhere. If it's really bad investors will just pull their capital and put it into operations that are actually turning a profit.

Keep in mind that any agenda not based in objective reality falls apart quickly when people aren't getting paid or women's safety is threatened. See Europe and their migrant crisis.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The point is not to dislike women, because they are what they are. Sure the FI is out of control, but knowing RP let's you see the code. Seeing the code you can make the system work for you or at least not screw you as much.

This "gift" is not a burden but a blessing. Knowing the code you can predict some outcomes and make that work to your advantage.

[–]pullypants 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Watched Love Actually over christmas. Used to be one of my favourite films, I totally believed the 'nice guys get the girl' in the end message throughout. It's utter bollocks.

[–]JDRoedell 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've found myself unable to stomach several movies and even songs that I once liked because of the red pill.

[–]Nicolay77 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

On the flip side, older movies from the 60s and 70s become watchable and nice.

[–]cthulhu_calling_ 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“2) TV shows and movies will become unwatchable. Your awareness will inevitably make you recoil in anger at nearly every movie and nearly every time you turn on the TV…”

This right here. Once the switch was flipped I cannot enjoy the majority of mainstream movies and TV, but you are right about more time to put into real achievements and personal improvement. I actually got rid of cable, now if i want something to watch there is Netflix or Amazon Prime.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On the TV thing.

I agree a bit, but maybe it's just me; I've actually found watching things to become almost purely limited to movies with company, however no matter how blue, it's all comedy to me.

Maybe it's just my mindset, but I've believed the glass was broken the whole time, I just find myself chuckling at it constantly.

I also will use it as a checklist, just keeping up to date on what's being done wrong by the protagonist male. What mistakes are made that he's seemingly not even aware of.

Try injecting some detached levity is what I mean to suggest. Maybe it'll work for you, cool if it doesn't.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks Brother!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why let things like TV and women at work even bother you at all? Do you think it would be better to brush that stuff off and let RP be more confined to your personal relationships?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

at work if there is a project with my name on it that is being derailed. there are times when you have to rely on other people's ability to put personal shit aside and be logical.

[–]beelzebubs_avocado 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, you would like them to behave rationally, but instead they will probably behave like large-brained primates. Getting upset about it doesn't help, unless it gives you the motivation you need to switch jobs.

[–]that_italia_guy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm starting to see signs of 2 and 3. 4 has always been true. Been at this for about 2 months.

[–]strategos_autokrator 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so true. I've had women come talk to me to help out a beta man they know. They don't say it that way, they don't say why they ask me, but it is clear they admire my frame, and know in some way those men lack frame. Some have been very overt, without using TRP terminology. I know I can't change men, and that giving out "wisdom" is a waste of time.

I tell them I don't understand what they want me to do, that if the guy wants to become more assertive (they say "Yes, that is it, assertive, yes!") he can start by working out regularly. Or he can join the BJJ class I attend. ("Ah, he won't do that, he just needs help in talking to women/being more honest/being better in bed...").

It is strange, that never used to happen before i took the pill. I just take it now that these are some forms of IOIs from the women, where they are saying they admire my frame. I sometimes think they are trying to find out if there is a trick or if i'm a natural.

I have a friend from BJJ I really admire. He is a total badass, looks very intimidating, destroys me on the mats, and works as a bouncer. He is also one of the nicest guys I know (in the sense of "Mr. Nice Guy"). He meets a girl and gets instant oneitis. The girl plays with him, then gets bored by him, so he kisses ass trying to get her back, and ends up broken hearted, then talks to me about it, how the girl doesn't know what she wants, keeps juggling him along with some other guys, etc.

The same pattern happens over and over. He blames "bad timing", that he meets the girls when he is too busy, so he can't pay more attention to them at the beginning. Yes, this bad-ass bouncer has it all backwards.

I don't want to tell him some RP truths because i doubt he will get it. But i just told him "Well, if the case is bad timing, it just means you need to put yourself outthere more to meet even more girls". He didn't like that suggestion, and shook his head, and complained more about this last girl he still loves.

[–]druganswer-1 points [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link

  1. TV shows and movies will become unwatchable. Your awareness will inevitably make you recoil in anger at nearly every movie and nearly every time you turn on the TV: The fem-centric brain beating never stops. Even my enjoyment of the NFL has been ruined by anti-male commercials, forced pink uniforms during "women's health month," and nausiating "public service announcements." There is an upside to all of this: Less entertainment = more time for self-improvement.

Seriously? I just want you to read that statement and recognize it as a sign of you still having a ways to go. I understand an eye roll or a laugh to yourself when you notice things like this, but if it has actually taken the enjoyment out of things you previously liked doing then you are still a bit in the anger phase (or something similar). Letting little things like this that you can't do anything about affect you so drastically is not a good place to be mental wise.

[–]zxDanKwan 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

While I agree that u/Texan69 still has some ways to go, I think there's a second factor going on here that he hasn't fully recognized yet.

While unplugging, the same hatred of TV and Movies occured with me, and I just stopped them cold turkey, not even a second thought. I thought it was because I was "finally seeing how washed the media really was."

Turns out, I was just starting to realize how much of my own life I was losing in front of the tube, and I just couldn't stand the thought of wasting my time that way.

This is classical operant conditioning. He's seeing positive results when he avoids standard media (because he spends his time doing something productive), and he's seeing only negative results when he consumes it (because he has nothing to show afterward for the time he has invested).

Obviously, this is but a mere component of the total TRP journey, and I think it gets overlooked a lot - especially when the shows discussed are easily considered "manspace" shows, like football or car shows.

Personally, I'd always recommend a dude is better off playing a game or working on a real car, rather than just watching it on TV.

[–]Thomaskingo2 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Once you've thoroughly digested that Rollo Tomassi knowledge almost every piece of mainstream popular culture becomes a master class study in blue pill beta conditioning. It's fun in the beginning (seeing the code of the Matrix), but as time goes on it just becomes a constant tedious prompt that reads: "eat shit and feel bad about having testicles!" I actually advise to seek out drama fiction created by women. It's mainly drama/comedy fiction created by men, which is smack full of blue pill beta wish fulfillment fantasies. Pretty much anything involving Adam Sandler is an example of this. Mad Men is a great example of how women write hard core red pill fiction. The problem with Mad Men is this idiotic tendency to idol worship. No you shouldn't become Don Draper, but the social mechanics he has with women, his wife, other men and himself is smack on for at least the first four seasons (how far I've seen so far). First time around I saw these seasons I just saw a story about this mysterious and powerful but Byronic protagonist, who somehow fucks a lot of women. Revisiting the series what hit me the hardest was suddenly understanding Don's wife and why she acted for the most part as she did. I didn't feel sympathy I just understood her. Shows like Mad Men are almost master classes in red pill dynamics, while the blue pill conditioning you get thrown at you the most is frustratingly annoying because you cannot help deconstructing it for the BS it is. It isn't so much because it's a big unorganized ideological lie, as much as it's the experience of constantly being presented with information you know is "wrong". Watching an average romantic comedy where the loser gets the girl based on his passiveness and inner worth doesn't piss me off because my beta hamster takes a spin. The reason it annoys the shit out of me is the same reason, I get mad reading something completely filled factual and grammatical errors.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much anything involving Adam Sandler is an example of this. LOL! I liked the movie, "Blended" pre-RP, but now, post-RP, I can see the FI matrix all over that movie.

[–]Griever114 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

As /u/zzDanKawn said, the dude is pulling away from toxic media that was not helping his life to being with. Time spent in front of the shitbox=wasted time.

I dont see how this isnt an improvement. That, and I was always of the mindset that if something bothers you STOP FUCKING DOING IT. If he cant sit through a TV show without seeing the female agenda, cut that shit loose! So long as he is happy IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER.

[–]druganswer1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

This is MRP not MGTOW. If "seeing the female agenda" in things is enough to stop you from doing them, you're not going to be doing many things my friend. Accept that things are the way they are, appreciate that you're not fooled by them, watch some damn football without being triggered by "the female agenda."

Seriously, this sounds like a thread full of feminists crying about all the media etc. making their lives so hard to live.

[–]Griever114 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I still stand by my comment:

So long as he is happy IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER.

If he cannot stand watching TV anymore, why should he? So long as he is improving his life, thats all that matters.

[–]Texan69[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If "seeing the female agenda" in things is enough to stop you from doing them, you're not going to be doing many things my friend.

Sorry, I fail to see how trading TV time for reading, exercising, traveling, and learning new skills is a MGTOW thing. I would say that I'm doing different and better things.

This reads like foxnews or msnbc garbage.

If so, maybe I ought to start watching more TV again! Last time I watched those channels, they weren't exactly focusing on men sharing their own RP experiences.

I just want you to read that statement and recognize it as a sign of you still having a ways to go.

Yes, I still have a very long way to go after only one year. Notice that I began my list with the caveat that this is what you may find if you're just getting started. Your mileage may vary. These are just my own experiences. To the extent they help others see that they're not alone, great. If they don't resonate, that's OK too.

Study your opponents instead of turning your back on them to high five your buddies.

Women are not "my opponents." I enjoy them for what they are instead of resenting them for what they can never be. Am I bothered by what the FI has done to the culture and the workplace? Of course. If that disqualifies me from "amused mastery" at this point, so be it. But it has also helped me turn my attention to pursuits that make me a happier and better man.

I'm glad that my post resonated with many of you and have really appreciated the insights I've read here over the past year. Keep the good stuff coming!

[–]druganswer2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry, I fail to see how trading TV time for reading, exercising, traveling, and learning new skills is a MGTOW thing. I would say that I'm doing different and better things.

That's great. Improvement is awesome... but letting feminist shit upset you to the point where you give up something like watching football... that's what I mean when I say your anger shows you having a ways to go. Giving up mindless consumerism is definitely a net positive, but letting stuff affect you to the point where you can't enjoy activities you once did and probably still should/could is IMO a negative on your overall well being.

I'm not trying to shit on you, just think one day you won't care so much about this type of shit.

If you want some media to watch that you might enjoy, find a local news station that is hosted by an old man. I was visiting a friend and his local station had an old man as the anchor for the morning news. Like the type of guy who probably has had the job for 30+ years and literally can't be fired. Every once in a while he would drop a gem (think lines out of Mad Men) and get the evil death stare from his co anchors. To him it wasn't even a big deal... made my day.

[–]Texan69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

but letting feminist shit upset you to the point where you give up something like watching football.

Not to worry, I have not given up watching football. But my disdain for the FI seeping in has changed the way I watch it. I skip most of the mindless pregame shows. And I watch Redzone. It's blissfully free of the commercials and the inane female "sideline reporters." I encourage others to do the same.

I do still have a long way to go with my RP journey and I plan to never stop improving. I look forward to the day when I can view FI media with amused mastery. But I never want to go back to consuming as much of it with the frequency I used to.

[–]spexer 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

great post - I have been on the journey about as long, and agree with all of this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post.

I was at the gym yesterday and overheard 2 of the workers arguing. The girl just kept saying, "ladies first! Ladies first!" I was so fucking irritated.

Feminists want to change the culture and how we think, but I sure as fuck don't see any SJWs Facebook posts that address this issue, do I.

Pre RP, I would have been like yeah ass hole, ladies first!

[–]MrFuckupKing1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

The older I get the more I value the company of men because they are not women.

I did not see this in my twenties because I was a hound chasing pussy and largely ignored the world of men except for a few close buddies who were hounds themselves.

The more women act like men the more disgusting they become.

They pervert what is well and good in a man into something twisted and evil when expressed in a woman.

Women take the worst things found in feminine men and give it a truly toxic spin.

I'm very glad not to be a young man having to live in this brave new world.

The ugliness is unbearable to witness and young men largely do not see how they have been betrayed.

They may sense it but they do not know who to direct their rage against so they turn it inward or blindly lash out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

On the flip side, as a young (18) man growing up in modern society, Im glad to have found TRP, MGTOW, and other tools I can use to help on my journey through life.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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