TheRedArchive

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I’ve had a few guys respond to my posts on sex saying, “My wife is disgusted by x, y, and z” or “I can’t get my wife to do blah blah blah” To all of these guys I will provide you with this reminder:

You need to realize a cruel red pill truth you cannot negotiate genuine desire. - Rollo

Your wife will do whatever it takes to keep you around if she views you to be a man that she truly wants to keep around.

Some may argue that they could just go out and find a hooker, someone on tinder, or a neighbor and get their needs met by them. Of course you can and if that helps your situation then go for it. But, people are talking about how to get their wife to do that nasty shit.

Go through the quick checklist:

  • Do you have a six pack(low bf%), clearly defined adonis belt, developed chest, lats, and arms?

  • Do you lay game and kino on your wife throughout the day, building her up to getting what you want when you want?

  • Do you truly not give a fuck if you remain married? Developing your OI, Abundance Mentality, and creating dread?

  • Are you a Man other women want to fuck?

  • Are you a Man other men want to be like?

  • Do you feel it's worth the time and energy to get your wife to that point?

As you go through this and dedicate some time to serious introspection you'll realize that if she doesn't put out the way you want her to then she is gone or you'll cheat.

OR

You'll realize that she is capable of more but you are just not lighting that fire of tingles in her. Don't resent her for that. You've probably been a pussy for so long that the fire has all but died.

So be it

Start from square one, truly wrap your mind around the fact that you are the prize. Then make yourself look like a fucking prize and for the most part the rest will sort itself out.

As you develop physically you need to continue absorbing the sidebar and reading on this sub, contributing when you have something of value to provide and above all, owning your shit.

Do what you need to do for your situation. You'll get what you want when you realize that you have to choose what exactly it is you want from life. You need a plan to get what you want, if there's no plan then you're just spinning your wheels.

Do you just want more & kinkier sex or do you want more & kinkier sex with your wife? There's a big difference there and you need to decide what your goal is.

Edit I'm in the process of writing a post on the actual 'creating the slut wife' aspect of this.


[–]spexer 18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Keep in mind the different circumstances you could be in.

  • wife used to be kinky in the past with you, and now will not. Likely you have gone Beta and by going MRP, you can bring back the crazy.
  • wife was and has never been kinky with you, but was in the past. (there have been a few posts like this where a guy would find out how his wife was double-teamed in college or something). She is an alpha-widow and you were likley married as a beta bux. This one is a hard win, however all hope not lost though, if you implement MRP and become the alpha.
  • wife has never learned to be kinky. Maybe she has never learned about this side of herself due to a sheltered life or maybe when a guy tried some of this stuff with her, he failed as a leader/alpha so she was not impressed. Keep in mind, a woman only learns most sex things and a lot of what she likes, when a guy shows her - and maybe no guy has successfully shown her before! This is a great opportunity, but you need to add a lot of trust and be good at leading and building the fun adventure before you.

I bring this up as I believe I am in that third camp, and it was one I never considered before. I kick myself for all the years I missed where I just assumed she just didnt like that stuff, when it is entirely possible, she just assumed she didnt and has been waiting for someone with the balls to introduce her to it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

This is why I felt the post needed a follow up of 'creating the slut' because there are guys who are sitting on a sex vixen who just needs to have that door unlocked for her.

[–]strategos_autokrator 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Something I've been thinking about is how women are horny, in the sense that it is in their nature, as opposed to that they become horny or that we make them horny, as if it was a state of mind. Women love a high value man that can see their sexuality right through their facade. This makes them more comfortable with it. To them, it feels as if they get turned on in a mysterious way, but in reality, by them sensing our strength, they just feel permission to release their sexuality to an alpha. They need to feel that high SMV strength to submit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

by them sensing our strength, they just feel permission to release their sexuality to an alpha.

This is the basis form which I'm building my post. It's going to be a longer one, but I hope it's worth it.

Women can become whatever it is they need to be to get what they want. It takes a very confident and a very masculine (a True Red Pill Man) to allow a woman to remove the mask of 'becoming what she needs to be' and actually being what who she's meant to be. the difference is subtle, but the concept is sound.

Instead of playing housewife and smiling all the while resenting her beta dadbod husband, she can be a free, feminine, sexually open woman with her cock diesel alpha. The man who can balance that push/pull of alpha/beta behavior is a man who is going to get exactly what he wants sexually from his woman.

The problem most men face is creating the environment where that type of feminine energy can flourish.

[–]midlifedickMarried1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I would like to encourage you to write this post.

Seems like this is one of those "playing with fire" scenarios that catch a lot of guys out. They agree to some form of awakening and then get confused when their former "low libido" wife is now the town bicycle, but they are still getting duty sex or just plain left behind so she can "find herself".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've written 90% of the article, it is by far my longest piece yet. I'm hesitant to release it for the exact reason you mentioned.

Once you create the slut, you can never go back to the life of comfort. Granted, Masculine living is comfortable for those who have allowed the pill to fully dissolve, but the guys on the fence, if they create this sexual monster, the choice is taken from them. Either they will satisfy the craving they created or someone else will.

I can see this blowing up in a lot of guys faces and it doing more harm than good. At the same time, how else do we separate the men from the boys?

[–]midlifedickMarried0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I saw this happen. My neighbor convinced his wife to get a little kinky, swinging. She started going to orgies without him. Eventually she left him and her two daughters (He got full custody, both under 10!) when he tried to throttle her back.

He didn't have time or patience for bullshit, now that he was working full time and trying to parent the two young girls. So to get sex, back in 2006, he went to craigslist and played the third wheel! He loved to tell me about it unprompted. He said if he hooked up w swingers or single ladies or mom's they wanted something more than sex, but if he was the third wheel, the husband had to deal with her shit after he was gone!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have never and will never endorse swinging/sharing. It works for some, not me.

[–]innergametrumpsall 9 points10 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

Patrice O'Neal referred to this has "ho'ing up" and "ho'ing down."

Patrice's position is he liked to "ho down" a woman. Meaning getting a woman that was high value and already sexually bold and keeping her as his whore. A lot of work and requires an immense SMV disparity.

If you really embrace "she's not yours, it's just your turn" then that is the model.

Most people in here are "ho'ing up."

I've been ho'ing up my entire dating life. Your pleasure is non-negotiable and it's an early dating seed.

"No disrespect, but you are my prostitute and the same goes for me. I am available for your use at any time."

I also equate my sacrifices as a man to be a father instead of a playboy as my ruling law for this truth. That if she is not an absolute prostitute at home, that she doesn't deserve what I bring to the table, which is family life.

Women like sex, but it's different. I don't buy the idea that women "want just as much sex" or even the same kind or even rough sex all the time.

I believe the pinnacle of a woman's life is a well run family, with heavy emphasis on quality family time and relationship. That is her anal to put it concisely.

Dread and OI do work. But you really need to be a great father to give yourself real power.

I don't care how ripped you are, 15 years into a marriage a high school kid could make your wife cum just because he's different. Too much emphasis on sex for a woman. It's very important, but only the most retarded retards don't get that after 10 years.

This is level 100 dread. "How bout a hand job?" (shit tier bedroom behavior) "Oh, you mean you want me to strap on my father boots tomorrow and go to the zoo? I had plans to go out drinking with friends instead. On your knees, I want to see a lion take a shit tomorrow."

If your kids don't absolutely idolize you, and you don't know how to make her see value in your specifically as a father, then you have no power in that domain. If it's "fine, we'll go without you" then no six pack on earth can save you.

Probably a controversial MRP point, but if you have a woman worth having, her #1 is family, not sex. Sex is part of the family, but family is a wider more important thing. Which is why I am very clear with her that her bedroom behavior is so critical to our family working on all cylinders.

Soft, hard nos & starfish are clear signals to her that the next day is a day I spend doing my own thing. This has required a lot of effort in creativity and engagement with the family and kids. It's made me a better father. And it's made her a better woman.

Gender roles work. There are reasons all the old bibles of all these religions enforce this. Even though I'm not religious I believe these books are the self help books of their day. There are nuggets of truth in all the bullshit.

Religion is red pill and blue pill all at the same time, pretty hilarious.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

I believe the pinnacle of a woman's life is a well run family, with heavy emphasis on quality family time and relationship. That is her anal to put it concisely.

I'd add to this that she craves a man who allows her to just cruise through life basking in her feminine energy. If you're a man who she can show off and get that external validation everywhere she goes and you fuck her like a caveman, pushing her to improve and pulling her back in when the world gets too tough.

She'll want that rough and wild sex when you've got the dread, OI, and abundance mentality dialed to that optimal level.

[–]innergametrumpsall 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I'd add to this that she craves a man who allows her to just cruise through life basking in her feminine energy.

I agree. What I've put that into MRP terms to is if a woman will not submit to you, then you're not worth having. And I said the same to her, I made a post about it.

I was confident in my SMV, but I seemed to be coming up with an ego issue with her (I was in control, but it was like shitfest mania and being overt was becoming problematic). I had to turn this into OI and was willing to get BTFO over it. I told her outright "if you're not willing to submit, then I'm not the man for you. I'm okay with that." I'm not going to say she hasn't had some protests (more than a few sarcastic "thank you MASSA" here and there) but she's been a good girl since then.

I've at times had SMV10 with her. She did not want to be rough all the time. I don't buy it that women need it rough all the time. Not to mention we have sex nearly every day, and again, not starfish.

You go caveman every single day and it's a turn off. She needs variety, at least in our house. I wouldn't say any of the sessions look like a movie romance bedding scene, but there's plenty of slower nights, more casual, laughing etc.

The only thing that is 100% for me required is that we both finish, and after we finish we cuddle. Not because I'm blue, but straight up biology. I want her to be with me while her brain is high for pair bonding.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

I don't buy it that women need it rough all the time. Not to mention we have sex nearly every day, and again, not starfish.

I agree 100% with this.

I cannot tell you the last time I went a day without blowing my beauty fluid all over or in her. Every single day we do something. But, not every day is it hardcore balls to the wall.

There have been times where I just grabbed her, carried her to the room, and took my sweet time before 'penetration' then it was just close, slow, deep eye contact 'love making'.

I've had her cry at some point because it was just so 'personal' and she couldn't handle it. The first time I was like "WTF, does it hurt, do you want me to stop?" and she said, "No, this is perfect"

It all comes down to the push/pull. You have to mix it up, never letting her get bored and never being a predictable dude.

[–]innergametrumpsall 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

Since we seem to be on the same level, one thing I'm working on overcoming right now is that she doesn't initiate. And when she does it's really really shy, which requires me to lead again. If I get her to actually initiate and really go for it she will straight up say that she doesn't like it and she feels like she's being a man. She's not wrong.

That being said, it took me forever to come up with a way to balance this problem. I don't like how everything with RP is so black and white, like oh she's not initiating but you're having good sex every day? Welp, get ready for the meat grinder!

The solution I've come up with is when the kids go down, she's got to get into intimates. I try not to get into underwear and shirt which we all want to do until bed. I try to stay in good clothes even when she gets into intimates. I have no problem initiating 100% of the time this way. It's a way for her to demonstrate feminine sexual energy without forcing her to try and seduce a gorrilla. I bring hurricane force winds, so I don't find it unreasonable that it's both intimidating and a turn off for her to do it.

She will if it's been a while, was on some meds that killed my libido (which I let her know was a noted side effect) and she cried when I stopped initiating. She finally raped me after a week or so of going to bed early. But I'm not waiting around for initiation. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Pussy. I'm fucking hungry man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

We're men, so I think it's best to communicate in a way we were designed to communicate, overtly.

My wife initiates from time to time, but it was only after I sat her down and very directly told her that I am always ready for sex. I have completely removed the 'taboo' associated with sex and let her know that if she is thinking of my cock, to let me know.

She straight up, during a movie yesterday said, "TrainingTheBrain, I want your cock in my mouth. I love how hard it gets" YMMV but making her feel secure in 'stepping out' of the sexual closet does wonders. Remove any fear of rejection in her mind and let her know that not only will you reward her efforts with a good fucking, but also that you'll be proud of her for doing something you want her to do even though she may not be entirely comofrtable with it, yet.

[–]innergametrumpsall 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

if she is thinking of my cock, to let me know.

This is something really powerful I need to bring up, but could also be disaster if I never hear anything about it after the discussion lol!

This is great stuff man. I'll have this discussion today. We've been going through the surrendered wife, it's helped a lot.

I think the book is good, but not great. It's written by someone who had boundry management issues, I get it. She couldn't tell the difference between throwing it all away. So far, it's worked out well that a lot of stuff isn't necessary because I have sufficient frame. So I just skip a lot of it. But there's lots of great information in there that's totally not boat rocking material that every wife can learn from. Society has groomed women to be much more masculine, so it's refreshing to see such small tricks have such a large impact. It's as simple as her changing the way she asks for things to get done.

You can tell in the book that her husband did not have frame. My other half is not a house wife, she is the primary breadwinner currently (though at times I've outearned her), she holds a doctorate. She is brilliant. She is a good mother.

That's why I stress so often to her that I respect her so much. I'm not afraid to tell her that I love her. But in the same sentence to say that I would feel the same way about a woman who works at McDonald's (as long as she's at least managing the store I guess).

She's been using these little things, it's been working out great. We're both at a great time in our lives and this has been the best it's ever been. SMV10 sex before kids is you're about yourselfs, and you both get off. Now even the normal nights are great, we're fucking for family. We're fucking for our lives. It's entirely on a different plain.

It's like the difference to me between getting a paycheck at a job you really like. And getting a paycheck from a place after you've just been promoted to partner. It's printed on the same check. They haven't even given you a raise yet. But fuck it just feels so right. And you know that if you ever got demoted, or if the company folded, you'd have to make partner again.

I told her if that things ever didn't work, I would immediately start another family. It's been a good motivator for her as well. And it's the truth. The top of my pyramid isn't some stripper or pop singer. It's an RPW.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

I've never read the Surrendered Wife but I've seen BPP mention it a few times around here. What I view to be more important is that you and your wife are doing this together, I think that is a great investment of your time and energy.

I went through the Stoic Readings (The Meditations, the Enchiridion, and Letters from a Stoic) with my wife and it was really beneficial for us. It helped her understand my view on a lot of things and it helped her learn how to process the stress in her life from family and work.

It's as simple as her changing the way she asks for things to get done.

Absolutely, my wife now views me as 'Daddy'. She turns to me for direction, guidance, and she strives to make me proud. I think that as long as you maintain your masculine energy at home, than your wife's earnings are irrelevant. She can be the chick in Charge at work, but when she's with you, she can take the mask off and just be your girl.

The top of my pyramid isn't some stripper or pop singer. It's an RPW.

It's good to see someone owning their life. That message may get backlash on here, but who fucking cares. This is an internet forum nothing more, you live your life the way you want to. That's exactly what the *Family Alpha does.

[–]innergametrumpsall 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

She can be the chick in Charge at work

This would probably be problematic. But luckily it doesn't fit her. Her earnings are really the result of her brain, not masculine energy. If she was king boss woman, that would probably be unmanageable. In that case she'd probably be wall'd or applying AF\BB.

She's a pharmacist so she gets paid for her brain. She's flexed those muscles a couple times, it's rainman level terrifying. So sometimes I get paranoid she's playing me covertly, but I've been gaming since I was a teenager so I'm not too worried. But to put her intelligence level into perspective, it's intimidating and I'm happy we're mostly on the same level. At baseline we're matched, she's better at single decision analysis (number crunching), and I've got stronger system\deep analysis. Though she can flex her muscles there too.

I like to bring RP into our lives, it's DHV imo. So a lot of times I call things out to her and just wait for them to unfold. It allows her to trust me at a really high level.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

That's an excellent tactic to employ. Again, all of this depends on the woman. What works for you won't work for me and vice versa, but the overall application is universal.

The way I game and you game may be entirely different, but using game is necessary for all.

My lady is the boss at her work, but my submissive wife at home. She loves the transition and tells me how sometimes after she has to be very direct or 'mean' at work, she thinks of me bending her over a table. She associates me with dominance and when she has to fill that role, she visualizes being 'punished' or challenged by me. It just works for us.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]innergametrumpsall 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He was a world class comedian though, so he had that going for him. He knew that if he was just a run of the mill nigger (as he would have said it) that he'd be rooting in the trash.

He even knew about the SMV hit that being black was in America.

He also talked about being strong mentally but still taking trips to Brazil. That shit really only changed once he become a standup hit and snagged Von.

[–]A_Rex4 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for your work. My wife did all sorts of shit when we were in college and I was in Law School (15 and 10 years ago, respectively) that she doesn't do anymore. Was hoping someone would put up specific pointers about how to get (back) to that phase beyond the general lift, game, and maintain frame. Can't wait to see the finished product.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's got comfort and commitment from you that she didn't have then. In response, you have to be better at game and ideally more attractive than you were back then, and she will respond with whatever she did before, and more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In the same boat. You and I were both "packages of potential provision" when we met our wives. Kink and frequency were the norm. Unless threatened (DREAD), she thinks she won the lottery (or entry to a stock of other successful and competitive men).

Comfort and commitment stop the tingles unless we work really hard to up our SMV in the eyes of a woman with a really high baseline expectation. Other women value us higher as-is (I could plow my secretary this afternoon), but I'm on MRP like you to game and lead my wife and really don't want other women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My next post on the subject is rather lengthy and gets to the specifics, but this list is something that's helped a few guys. I only advise on tried and tested methods. These things worked for me YMMV.

[–]MRPguy 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

For many new guys this is the real rub: the dead bedroom is almost always their fault. That's a tough pill to swallow. But wait, there's more! They begin lifting and seeing some physical progress. They begin reading and gain a bit of better understanding into the female psyche and also why Nice Guys are doomed...and still nothing from the wife. Now THAT is a tough pill to swallow.

What they forget is that it doesn't happen overnight. Just because they've lost 20# and now know what a shit test is doesn't mean their wife will suddenly view them with a higher SMV. That is, their SMV trend line can be going up, their SMV can be increasing, but that doesn't always mean it is high enough for their wife to give a shit.

[–]NonNisiTe 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The problem is that they still tend to be nice guys. They may have lost weight and gained a bit of muscles but it is for the wrong reasons. It becomes a covert contract: I have been doing This... so it is clear than I deserve This from my wife. And they get butthurt because as men they "deserve" better. This is why OI and abundance mentality is so important. You are right that redpill is not a quick fix, it is a long term solution.

[–]MRPguy 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great comment. Like Athol Kay says, this stuff works and can get you laid...but it may not be with your wife. For some that is the eventual outcome; the wife simply won't get on board. Maybe there have been too many years of drunk captain, but whatever the reason the marriages gets nuked.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Your wife will do whatever it takes to keep you around if she views you to be a man that she truly wants to keep around.

Or if you give her enough comfort, or social validation. Or you're just a good habit. Don't conflate convenience with desire.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Your wife jumps on you and says Fuck me in the ass daddy I've been a bad girl would you call that convenience or desire?

I don't see the point you're making. Maybe I'm retarded, idk.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not saying desire is impossible or, um, undesirable. Just that it's not the only reason women try to keep men. But perhaps I misunderstood the context of what you were saying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The guys who get IV drip-feed sex, just enough to keep them from complaining are not the men who are owning their shit. Just Enough is much higher for the dude who is shredded and owning his red pill masculine life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There should be a post about finding the " right slut" . oh wait.. there is a whole sub for that.

[–]squirrelcuisine1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

If you want a slut.. perhaps you need to think long and hard about what you are attracted to.

Making a slut out of a virgin is a very dangerous game.

Careful what you wish for...

I am amazed at how well I did 26 odd years ago. I knew nothing of this place but made some good decisions without realizing it at the time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Making a slut out of a virgin is a very dangerous game.

If she's your wife I doubt she's a virgin.

If you mean metaphorically as in a virgin to crazy sex, then understand your point a little better. If a man is willing to unleash the beast, he better be ready to tame it and dominate it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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