TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

46

TLDR: A natural alpha confronts becoming beta after a 30+ year marriage. Initiates changes after reading rep pill reddit and MMSLP. Very positive results, solving issues that have dogged the relationship for 30 years.

Background: I am an engineer and an entrepreneur having owned a number of moderately successful businesses. Met my SO in College and have been together for 35 years (married for 29), we have four kids and my wife is also a very smart professional who has worked with me in my businesses. I am used to leadership being the CEO and owner and am normally fairly aggressive and perceived as an alpha by my peers. When my wife confronted a significant health issue about a dozen years ago I flipped to absolute supportive beta in our relationship because I thought I had to put my needs on the back burner to support her.

Once the health issue passed she became more and more focused at worked just as our business was doing better. We both worked 90 plus hours a week in the early days and then spent the rest of the time was on raising four kids. In effect the business was our mistresses for both of us, taking significant focus away from our relationship.

The Change: Our sex life was always OK (2 times per week average) and I was lucky that she was always in great physical shape (BTW a hint to the younger red pillers out there take a look at the mother of your prospective LTR if she is not in good shape in her thirties of forties the odds are against your future wife being able to keep her figure). I had slacked off on exercising and had gained about 30 pounds even though we always ate relatively healthy because I love to cook and we both hate fast food.

The problem I was confronting was how my life was going to look like with the last kid leaving for college. The business was in decent shape, I reduced my workload to about 50 hours per week and had great flexibility to go out and vacation often. Our financial position was very good, and I was looking forward to enjoying my time. My wife was still addicted to work and despite numerous arguments over the years never figured out how to reduce the workload. She would work late into the night in her office at home, checking and double-checking the work of her employees. This was not a traditional affair but it still stood in the way of my happiness.

I discovered red pill and MMSLP and read through it voraciously in April of this year and realized that the first thing I had to do was fix myself. I started lifting and working out every day in our home gym. I stopped acting beta towards my wife, if she asked for a glass of water I would no longer “be a gentleman” and rush to get her one but pretty much ignore the request. There were some shit tests earlier on along the lines of why are you working out so much? It quickly escalated to “is there someone else? “ I could not apply direct dread since we worked together and I did not want to shit where I eat by hiring a 25 year old “executive assistant” so in addition to just swatting the shit tests away I casually mentioned that a few of my friends where so happy after their divorce and had cute younger girlfriends.

The sex life increased dramatically and quickly we were up to 10+ times per week and I was seeing the payoff of the testosterone shots I was taking. As a result of MMSLP the sex changed, I was much more demanding feeling comfortable telling my wife that I wanted to start the morning with a good BJ. Unfortunately my wife would still get up after sex and go back and work in the office until 1 or 2 am.

The Event: I continued to improve myself, gaining confidence and loosing weight was down to about 210 my wife would join me on morning walks stating that she needed to get fitter to keep up with me. However even after two months of reading and applying MMSLP the underlying dynamic of my wife’s attachment to work did not change. I was fed up and did not want to waste the rest of my life sitting around the house while she worked. I explored restarting my hobby of flying but fundamentally wanted a partner that would be there to enjoy the fruits of our hard work. On a weekend walk in June I dropped the bomb on my wife, I told her that I was opening a separate bank account and moving a significant amount of money there. I told her that I wanted to separate and move out, that divorce was fine and I had no problem with her continuing to work as many hours as she wanted to make my 50% of the business worth more while I take vacations and enjoy my life with someone else.

For the first time in her life she began to see her work as the addiction it was and she spent the rest of the day crying and apologizing for the last decade. I proceeded to open the bank account on Monday morning. She met with her department that day and told them that she was going to change and distribute her workload among them. I really believe that my increase in self-confidence and a true OI attitude on the choice she wanted to make was the key to achieving something that decade plus of arguments, beta covert contracts and bitching did not.

The Result: What prompted me to write this post was not just gratitude for the impact that MRP had on my life but my wife’s comments in the shower this morning. She said she had one of the best weekends ever with a college football game on Friday night, comedy show on Saturday followed by drinks and tapas, an eight mile hike on Sunday as watching some football with me. The weekend ended with us sitting in the yard and watching the sunset on Sunday while having a drink followed by the 3rd time we had sex that day. She is walking around the house in either lululemon stretch shorts or a something lacy, is not allowed to wear panties to dinner and enjoys when I give her great ass a good spank.

I know that I need to keep up my game, so I am amping up the outside interests taking up SCUBA to enjoy on our week in the south pacific at the end of October.


[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just something about the older posters makes me look forward to turning 50.

0 feelings, 0 irrelevant back story, just great, easy reads. didn't say he used to be alpha, but shows it. Doesn't say what 'she did' but just mentions her where appropriate.

I'll love that kind of frame when I'm older. Silver back ftw

[–]jfastman5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

take a look at the mother of your prospective LTR if she is not in good shape in her thirties of forties the odds are against your future wife being able to keep her figure

This may be one of the best pieces of advice my father ever gave me. Solid post OP.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree, got the same advice.

However, if the wife gets her physical genetics from her father best to check it out too.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Take note boys: this is what OI looks like. If you found yourself saying "OMG, no he didn't!" with the divorce ultimatum, you've got a long way to go. It's stories like this that should be an inspiration to us all.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My first thought was "Oh fuck" and then smiled with my second thought that she is going to fold like a cheap lawn chair.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she is going to fold like a cheap lawn chair.

That's a key point a lot of newer men don't internalize.

Lots of men are afraid of their wives. They're afraid to take concrete steps toward ending a failing marriage or even a relationship that isn't working. They're afraid to stand up for what they want. They get afraid because they think they're going to run into a brick wall of resistance.

OP didn't run into that wall because he did the work to get more attractive FIRST.

When you come right out of the gate with "let's get divorced" and you're an overweight shlub who's done nothing to improve, you're likely to get a "fuck off" response or more likely, "who's your lawyer gonna be?"

OP's wife folded like a cheap lawn chair because she could see she was about to lose the best thing she had.

[–]no_edging10312 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Older guy here. Thanks for this post.

[–]king-schultzedgy tourist2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm currently single, but this is why this sub is so much better than the main RP sub. I just read a FR on there, and it was so ridiculous, and full of "buzzwords", yet all the comments were along the lines of: "Wow, you should be given a special flair for your great posts!". It was clearly mostly exaggerated if not completely made-up.

It seems like most of the posts on TRP are teenagers trying so hard to come across like "the man". So embarrassing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree, TRP sub is all about scouring the internet for crazy examples of female behavior and then writing a post to prove AWALT.

Or you see a post about a LTR...in my worlds that is 5+ years. On that sub they are talking months.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Excellent story! Its unsuprising to hear you had to go nuclear TO IMPROVE her life.

Women absolutely need to be led

[–]OlderpillerMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely, even though she is highly educated and is definitely an alpha female she is loving my leadership. I am following MMSLP and letting her know what time dinner reservations are on Saturday but not where. Driving home together and deciding to stop somewhere along the way for a walk and drink. She has confirmed that seeing me as the leader gives her the "tingles". Bottom line ask less, do more.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You still have a hint of bluepill thinking, making exceptions for her intellect.

Her intelligence has nothing to do with the feminine desire to submit to a powerful male

[–]OlderpillerMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are absolutely right, I was trying to say that even the traditional BS of this does not apply to smart intelligent women is nonsense. Intelligence level has nothing do with the basic biological needs of a woman to be led and protected my a more powerful male against the world.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I really believe that my increase in self-confidence and a true OI attitude on the choice she wanted to make was the key to achieving something that decade plus of arguments, beta covert contracts and bitching did not

I really believe you are correct!

[–]TrekneckMarried0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is solid gold. Printed it, taking note.

[–]Flathatter45Unplugging0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this post. I am a few years behind you in age, but the principle is the same and there are some similarities to my situation. Nice to know this works just as effectively in 50's as it does in 20's.

[–]trp_dudeHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a few years behind you, but my situation is similar. Way to go.

[–]fordsvt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just turned 44. MMSLP is working for me too. That's a great story. I'm a year or two behind it but having sex 4-5 times a month now. Up from once every 30-60 days It works

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter