To the wives whose husbands "bother" them for sex:
Many of us find your sense of entitlement to all of the other things a marriage has to offer truly frightening... all he wants is sex. Your pussy is not a unicorn pussy; there are thousands out there that feel basically the same, but there is something about you your husband likes. There is something about you your husband suffers through in the hopes of maybe-trickle sex in the future. In return for this, you spit on him, and demonize his libido.
Congratulations, you are the jailer in a Stockholm syndrome scenario.
The fact is that you got married with the understanding that your husband would provide financial security, social stability, and children for you; that your future husband would stay with you and only you during the duration of that marriage (which typically is regarded as "forever") and that he would be with you and you alone, in all things, emotional AND physical. (faithful.)
If he were to step out of the marriage (without your "consent") you'd divorce him in an instant. I mean how can he possibly want to be with anyone else when he has you -a sexless shell of the woman he married?
No, the divorce comes not because of the sex with someone else (you don't like sex, after all... otherwise you'd be having it), the divorce comes so you can cut your losses and get your share of the marriage without the marriage. The divorce comes because he may be sharing resources and financial security and social stability with some other woman. This is amplified if you have kids.
However, if you stepped out of the marriage on him, on some level you'd expect him to divorce you as well, even though you'd attempt to rationalize it in some way, you'd still expect him to stay with you and you'd be horrified if he tried to leave you following that dalliance because he supplies that financial security and that social stability you married him for.
But he's done nothing wrong but want to fuck his wife.
If he stepped out, he'd simply say, "my wife doesn't fuck me enough, so I fucked another woman." That's it. It's that simple. But we all know, wives who don't fuck their husbands don't respect their husbands, they don't actively listen to their husbands, they loathe their husbands touches, caresses, kisses, and hugs.
The problem, and you know it doesn't end there, is that his heart, as it were, will follow his dick. And this scares the shit out of you. But why should he sacrifice his energy, time, effort, and resources on a woman who does not respect his side of the relationship. Here's a woman he's with, now, who fucks his brains out, sucks his dick, and makes him feel like a man... he's in bed with her now... why the fuck would he leave that paradise to return to a sexless harpy who literally sucks the energy and resources out of him?
Marriage is an exchange, at it's core. He chooses a life-mate, sacrifices his ability to fuck whomever and whenever so that he could fuck only you. Something about you, made him want to fuck you and ONLY you. That was the deal on marriage day. That was the person he wanted to marry. That was the package you advertised. Now you decided that we don't support that model any longer and all he gets is what you offer.
You changed the deal, and you wonder why he resents you for it. He makes the sacrifices, and you can't even get his dick wet a little bit.
And I'm not 1-sided: Your husband probably changed on some level:
He probably doesn't lead He probably doesn't make decisions He probably just lets you run things instead of being the captain of your ship (the household/family) He probably let his body go a bit (and you probably did too) He probably isn't active any more He probably lacks hobbies He probably doesn't spend time on his own, and instead... He probably clings to you, expecting the extra attention to lead to sex... He probably acts needy and validates his emotions through you (you're sad, he's sad, you're happy, he's happy....) He probably has lost most of the things you recognize as the man you married...
In effect, he has become yet another child, you have to raise. I understand that.
But the fact remains, he can only be pushed so far before he does one of two things (and you have no way to direct this course:)
He will either:
A. Simply call it a day an divorce you. Simple as that. He will decide that no amount of divorce pay-rape forced by the state is worth being in a sexless marriage when he knows he can get better elsewhere. You don't want this, but probably can't stop it.
OR
B. Decide that he no longer needs sex with you. He won't look elsewhere (if he is a man of value and honor) but he will stop trying. He will stop paying you affections and attention as well; no more hugs, cuddles, kisses, "how's your day?", etc. He will detach and basically become a monk moving through the house around you. In this, he will find peace and fulfillment in doing things for himself and only himself.
He will start working out and getting in shape. He will start looking better and feeling better about himself. He will start dressing better and you will be simultaneously aroused and alarmed by it; his body is looking good and he grooms well and you know you fucking like it. But now you begin see that he is way more attractive than you and he can pull younger women... and you're just a post-partum shrew who has replaced your attachment to your husband with your children. You realize he's in shape and you're not. You realize that in his mid-thirties, he is at his sexual attractive peak... and your sexual attractiveness is fading quickly. You'll panic, you'll harp at him, you'll try to make him stop... because ultimately you need him more than he needs you.
He will start ignoring your shrill requests and harping and complaints. He will spend more time away from you, doing his hobbies, hanging out with his friends, and noticing that younger women pay him attention in public. He will begin flirting with those younger, more attractive women (who he knows will drain his balls) and sometimes he will do it in front of you. He won't care what you think; in his head, you lost that ability to control that when you locked the pussy up. He is basically training himself to be single again. Your panic and internal dread is so high now: he is literally pulling younger women, doesn't try to have sex with you any more, and ignores your arguing and bantering.
"Is he cheating?" "Has he cheated?" "Why is he such an asshole?" You will ask these things to yourself, but when you look in the mirror, you'll realize he's not the asshole. He got pushed too far, didn't get the wife he married any more and is probably going to leave you.
This nightmare of emotions may last for a year... a year of a man who is looking better, acting better, and being better and you now have no sexual or emotional access to him. He won't allow it until you allow him the access he wants.
In the first option above, he just leaves, cuts you off, and probably leaves you more relieved in the short term, but lonely in the long term; dating is hard at your age, especially with kids. Most men who you'd like to be in relationships with are taken or are never going to be interested in a mid-thirties single mother. Instead you end up snatching up a guy who is largely ignored by younger women. You'll fuck him early and often, get married, and then realize that you married a guy far worse than your ex-husband. There's many reasons why he wasn't acting like other guys his age and pulling younger women. He can't, and you are discovering those reasons day in and day out. You stop fucking your new husband, and the cycle continues.
But the second option horrifies you; you see his positive changes and what he is capable of and that he may send that energy towards a younger, hotter, girl who regularly sucks his dick, fucks him silly, and occasionally gives him anal. You may get a temporary respite when you tell yourself that he still stays married to you, but you know, that thread is running out fast.
So he's basically a married bachelor at this point. No sex from you, but still married. And your marriage feels like it's on a balance where you have a choice:
On one side you can realize that you like what you see in the new husband, remember that he is your husband, suck his dick and fuck his brains out... reminding him that he is married and if he wants to have mind blowing sex you are there for him. Suddenly your sexual menu opens up and he is thrilled... and for good reason: he is fucking the woman he married like the girlfriend he knew! The upshot: he stays happy, which makes you happy, and he will literally do anything for you. But know this: he will be forever be changed. He will recognize trickle sex, he will recognize when he is being gamed by you to simply retain him, he will never settle for "fine." He will always want more. But he will always want more from you.
The other side sees you continuing to take him for granted and he takes his new alpha body and his new alpha attitude and leaves you, divorces you, and showers any number of younger, hotter, and sexually-adventurous women with his money, time, energy, and happiness. Meanwhile you resent him but he doesn't care... and you know you missed the fucking boat.
And maybe none of this is true and doesn't apply to you... but why take the chance of all that? Why not remember that your husband gives to you and you don't return the one thing he really wants?
Your pussy can literally save a marriage. Remember that.
[–]Leastohm19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RPAlternate42MRP APPROVED[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link