TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

13

Background: recent ex-Christian, hopeless romantic beta in past and leading expert on the friend-zone. Recently found TRP which challenged and is changing my (remnant Christian) beta views on women, relationships, sex, dating, … Still scared shitless of non-christian girls due to upbringing.

Context: Fancied a girl -fellow student- for a while and grew balls to talk to her instead of creeping around as I probably would have in the past (thanks TRP!). Grew them some more - still scared shitless though - and asked her out for a drink (Thanks TRP!). First response, “Oh sorry, really busy this evening, but I would love to some other time”. No problem, give it a rest and try again couple of days later. “Oh I really have no time tonight, sorry” was the answer once more… Oh well, probably no interest, moving on (thanks TRP!). Until, the next day “Hey, I’m looking for someone to grab some Ice-cream with, you interested?”.

Situation: Curiosity spiked, there perhaps is interest! We met up, I stayed calm, assertive and just my jolly old self (thanks TRP!). Ended up in a quiet park in beautiful sunshine. Great chemistry, body language open and welcoming, no rejection of physical escalation, things are looking great! But then, “I can’t stay too long, I have dinner arrangements with my sister and my BOYFRIEND”. Turns out she’s in an 18-month relationship! Didn’t mention it once even though I –obviously - asked her out on two separate occasions. This however did not break me because I did not invest too much in her beforehand as I would have previously (Thanks TRP!). I then was brutally honest about my intentions in meeting up with her and called her out on her bullshit mixed signalling, whilst holding frame (thanks TRP!). This is something I could not have dreamt of in the past because women were like holy beings to me (Thanks TRP!). She seems a bit startled that I called it out, apologises. I swiftly make an end to any following conversations and we part ways soon after.

Conclusion: Where Beta-me would have apologized for not being aware she had a boyfriend and ended up in a horribly awkward friend-zone pit of doom. I now, head held high, walk towards a future filled with endless opportunity. THANKS TRP!

TL,DR: First date with girl turns sour after she mentions her never before mentioned boyfriend. Thanks to TRP did not end up in the friend-zone but called her out on her bullshit mixed signalling. Thanks TRP!


[–]corsega3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Just a note on this:

If a girl agrees to go out with you for a drink, she knows sex is on the table, unless she's completely daft.

She didn't mention her boyfriend to you until later. That means she was SCREENING you as a potential sexual partner. Remember that girls are hypergamous — they'll swing from branch to branch to see if there's a better option out there.

The fact that she brought up her boyfriend means the date failed in some way, or she wasn't as attracted to you as she thought.

Keep that in mind for next time, and think about what you could improve to make the next one go better!

[–]BiomedScientist points points [recovered] | Copy Link

"The fact that she brought up her boyfriend means the date failed in some way, or she wasn't as attracted to you as she thought."

Haven't thought about it like that yet. Thanks for the insight, I'll keep it in mind!

[–]dapowa0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

also: boyfriend might just be her saying she's attractive, that's cool. she can have a boyfriend all she'd like, i'd still have tried to smash -- cause at the end of the day, it's on her to tell you no.

[–]ThePwnter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"i'd still have tried to smash -- cause at the end of the day, it's on her to tell you no"

There is so much truth to that statement. When the OP got offended with her I just cringed. He should have held frame and banged the crap out of her, AND THEN moved on.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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