What you're describing is a very real problem for our generation. I had to learn the hard way to find my masculinity. As Lorna Michaels says, there are no men anymore. His generation had to go from the wilderness to civilization, but his son has to go from civilization to the wilderness.

First, don't do anything crazy. I did. It might be tempting to make a big grand gesture and burn all your ships, jump without a bungee cord into the world, but you'll just end up hurting your future and wasting time. This is going to be a slow, and boring, process. You'll need to think of it like a challenge. The real challenge is continuity.

Becoming a man from a snowflake has two steps: 1. Take action 2. Take small steps. You need to stop talking and start doing, changing your behaviour to change your thoughts, otherwise you'll never change. But 2. Do it in small steps. There's a reason cumulative interest is the 8th wonder of the wonder. Be patient, be consistent and time will be your biggest ally. It won't feel great now, but even a few weeks from now, it'll feel better. So start small. Addicted to your phone? Use it for 5 less minutes a day, each day. Build resistance and discipline. Dependant on parents money? Start saving, one unit a day, adding a bit more everyday. Need to learn to read long work? Read read and read. Don't stop. You can do it!