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4 Yr LTR, Unplugged 4-5 months ago and devoured sidebar and most RP texts.

Basically she drops subtle comments every now and then about me being 'unmanly'. Some examples include her saying I couldn't protect her in the event of a break-in, her father has more masculine hobbies than me, she can't imagine me being the manly type to ride a motorcycle etc.

And yes, I lift, but I think I do have lots of room for progress. I was wondering if you guys could shed some light on how I can improve, how I can respond to these comments (usually ignore them) and what she's thinking.

I think maybe I'm operating in her frame? I appreciate any advice


[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You couldn't protect me if there was a break in.

"Couldn't...? Or wouldn't?"

My father has manlier hobbies than you

"Fair enough, but I'm banging his daughter so I win."

You're not manly enough to ride a motorcycle

"Why would I ride something fast and dangerous when I can get one to ride me instead?" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It doesn't really matter what you say, so long as you don't take it seriously.

[–]redwall9218 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is second level understanding and implementation.

[–]saltysnakes4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like these replies, basically DNGAF and treat them as a shit test then

[–]creating_my_life39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The problem isn't that she makes comments. The problem is that you give a shit that she makes comments.

[–]saltysnakes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're right, lesson learned

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If your wife served you divorce and was GONE in 7 days,

What kind of shit would you do that made YOU happy, manly, and self-assured?

That’s your answer.

Stop fucking around and

GET TO FUCKING WORK.

If she doesn’t like the man you become, find someone who does.

You’re failing because SHE IS your frame.

Stop being a pussy and start being a dick.

[–]2ndalRed Beret12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

These are called shit tests. Surely you have heard about them in the 4-5 months you've been reading. You need to start passing them.

[–]saltysnakes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have read up on shit tests and began passing the more obvious ones I had previously failed, these were just more targeted and personal than the usual ones she throws out which caught me off guard

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

“wondering if you guys could shed some light on how I can improve”

AA those comments.

Basic shit testing. Counter with cocky asshole Game. She needs some tinglestm . Need to be cocky along with the lifting.

Pick her up and show her how strong you ARE.. squat her. You sound too boring and nice tm .

Ignoring = failing her shit tests. She’s literally poking the bear (you, really a faggot teddy bear) and not getting a reaction. She gets no feelz from you.

[–]saltysnakes2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Up the AA and cocky asshole game but don't go rambo? Good point about the ignoring and feelz I'll bear that in mind

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally different things.

[–]redwall9211 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everybody is saying the same thing here man.

Either define 'manly' yourself. Or let your wife define it for you.

Frame much?

[–]saltysnakes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Realising it now, you're right, I got some work to do, cheers

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Babe, do you shave or wax your mustache? I mean since you know so much about manliness."

It's a shit test.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Here's some of my beard oil since you're so strong and think you can move that all by yourself. A little bit goes a long way."

[–]saltysnakes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Will remember this one for next time!

[–]tmh88mrp9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've been reading What Women Want When They Test Men: How to Decode Female Behavior, Pass a Woman’s Tests, and Attract Women Through Authenticity

It's not part of the official sidebar, but it's a good read and very RP, sometimes using the same terminology.

I recommend this book, it has some good insights and examples of the various different tests women do and what you're experiencing is in that book. It might help you recognise what she's doing and help you be convinced it has nothing to do with you and how you should build your frame based on integrity and embrace your masculinity - all of which should converge to make you impervious to shit testing and get your woman to stay in love with you.

Basically, don't believe what she says. It's hard, but if you recognise it for what it is, keeping your frame will come naturally. Keep reading and improving yourself and learn from those who've walked down the same path we tread now. I think that's about all you can do really. Also, ignore all the shit posts by uber angry dudes around here. When it comes to the comments in here, the truth is in between and I would pay more attention to badged folks. Also, the more you understand, you're better able to separate the unhelpful posts from confused individuals and helpful posts from those who really know what they are talking about. Good luck.

[–]saltysnakes1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was taking her words at face value and not as much of a shit test in hindsight, I think I have some work to do on shit test responses and frame development for sure. Appreciate it mate, will definitely check out that book too

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is some face value to her words in this situation. Personally, I’d tell her to go find her manly man.

[–]SepeanRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When girls shit test, they probe for weaknesses until they find a weak spot, and then they keep on hitting that flaw in your frame.

She found the weak spot in your frame. Learn to handle it, and she’ll move on (and probe for another weak spot of course).

[–]Bedtimeshine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think she’s probing because she already found the weakness. These may be shit tests but she still genuinely thinks he’s unmanly.

[–]FlyingSexistPig5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's undermining you. Basically saying that you're still interviewing for the position that you've been doing for the past 4 years.

There will always be someone who is strong than you. There will always be someone "more manly" than you, as poorly defined as that is.

Are you married?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Could you protect her in the event of a break-in? Does her father have more masculine hobbies than you? The last is just a fact, she can't imagine you're the manly type to ride a motorcycle.

Sounds to me like she's shit-testing you and you either fail or she's just flat out right. Become the type of guy that could protect her in a break-in and get more masculine hobbies if you want to, otherwise just DGAF.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He wouldn't dare ask how high... He just fucking jumps

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why frame is step one.

[–]saltysnakes2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Would doing it for her be falling into her frame? Either way, I'm now planning to build myself into a person that can do those things regardless of what she thinks, for me not for her

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Do it because that's who you want to be, not for her.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Quit doing yard work with gloves.

Get the fuck out of the house.

What are ya it heavy liftd at ?

In her frame ? No, not all

[–]Brickles093 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That the kind of shit test women do to manlets, just sayin

[–]WesternhagenWinner7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nobody has said "lift and STFU" yet. I am disappointed!

[–]griz3lda2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She prob just knows you're insecure about it. In any case that shit is just rude. Either AM or just make her feel like an idiot (if it wasn't meant as a joke) by looking her up and down with faux-concealed disgust like she has no taste or manners whatsoever, then proceed to acting like you don't care.

I think agree and amplify is the best choice tho.

[–]djxput1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My wife does the same thing but it's for different stuff, in the past I usually tried to defend myself DEER, don't remember what it means, but with my wife it never helped even if she is totally wrong. Recently I've been working on just stfu and keeping my frame.

[–]lololasaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You say you're lifting but you neglected to post stats.

I suspect that's because your stats would make the problem fairly obvious.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Does she suck cock like a woman or a man?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

what's the difference?

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One makes me feel dirty, And I have to own it.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"LOL, if Cat Dennings were my woman, I'd be telling people to burglarize us, and you'd be hearing about how I protected her on Current Edition for the next month! Even Donald Trump would Tweet about it."

If she doesn't get the insult, she'll at least be confused.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"My father has more masculine hobbies..." "Well, his wife has bigger tits".

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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