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Divorced, childless, late 30s TRP man-child-animal here. Respect to all men owning their shit.

I'm curious: Why is MRP is labeled RP on hard mode?

What if you discover RP while married, realize the true shitty nature of your marriage (even after lifting, OYS, etc), and you actively pursue a divorce? Did you then lose this hard-mode game? Are you less of an alpha if you go that route?

Granted, I understand married men have a lot to lose. Divorce rape is real. (No kids, broke as fuck at the time, amicable lawyer-less divorce, I'm one lucky bastard.) And if you have kids AND a wife, that's a lot to handle for a man today. I get that. Being a combo of husband and father entails obviously more responsibilities than me.

If "hard mode" simply equals

  • I don't want to get divorce-raped
  • I want to have good, intense, satisfying sex with my wife/ltr on a regular basis
  • I don't want to lose my kids / family structure
  • I want order and stability in my house

then I get it. But if I'm missing something here, please elaborate.


[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My understanding is MRP is TRP on hard mode because you do everything RP in front of an antagonistic protagonist.

Imagine going to MRP boot camp, life gives you the equivalent of 20+ field manuals, and every single day, while reading the manuals and trying to figure shit out, one of the cadre is constantly screaming at you, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!” “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THAT?!!” “STOP DOING THAT!!”

All the while the only help you get are letters from home (askMRP) and to almost every question you have, the general answer is to keep reading the field manuals (sidebar), LIFT, and STFU.

So for the boys at TRP, it’s like a college class they go home from every day.

For us at MRP, it’s total immersion in the form of boot camp with antagonistic protagonists.

You OGs, if I have that all wrong, toss a grenade my way.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this is a really good addition to the basic answer which is

The NEXT button is wired to a suicide vest you're wearing. Oh yeah, and you're holding your kids hand while wearing the vest.

Of course, it's really not that bad at all which is part of what MRP teaches.

[–]alphasixfour17 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Alpha status harder to achieve once she knows your beta self. Helps if you had alpha status and just got lazy, even harder for guys that were blue pilled or beta for life. The changes are simply seen as fake or rebellion against her rule.

Many scenarios that would be a hard NEXT in a dating or plate spinning context have to be dealt with differently in a marriage you decide (for whatever your reasons) to keep somewhat intact.

Abundance and dread is much harder to come by if you are committed to not spinning plates in the side.

Kids make things complicated

Intersexual dynamics, hypergamy, and familiarity are all working against you.

Divorce isn’t necessarily a lost game, the stay plan is the same as the go plan. MRP is about surviving and thriving regardless of the situation. The true measure of a man IMHO

By the way, if you think that’s hard mode, try being a Mormon... then you’ve got Nintendo hard. LOL

[–]Bear-With-Bit2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I was once religious and on my way becoming clergy. I've taken the RP twice, once for religion, another for women.

The true measure of a man IMHO

then you’ve got Nintendo hard

Yea, I guess I'm just allergic to any expression that sounds like "My struggle is reallllll!" Feminists, neckbeards, nice guys, mgtows, vegans, they all say it. Struggling is an universal constant. Your hardship isn't unique.

[–]alphasixfour6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Right on. Difference is no one is (should be) throwing a pity party about it. Pity party victims sort their shit out or get pushed out. Nothing wrong with acknowledging a difficulty level. Just like saying Everest is tall. One of your friends here will just say “bet you can’t climb it faggot...”

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha. Respect.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

downvoted simply for being a mormon

[–]alphasixfour3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ouch. That will teach me. Better rethink my entire worldview because some poser gave me imaginary downvotes on the internet. LMAO

Somebody got his feels hurt because his useless fakey brag post got downvoted below the threshold.

Go back to your imaginary "HB10" sockpuppet and fuck off kiddo.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol that was all it took?

i should be surprised

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was going to dismiss this as value trolling, but after some thought, it's a good question. I still don't think you're in a place to ask, or care about the answer, but I'm just a rando, so what does it matter?

It sometimes serves as a great attaboy for anyone who is married. For some reason, being the ol 'plow horse' really gives guys a sense or worth. anything that makes you sound like a suffering martyr is like candy for guys. If Oprah would say it, soccer moms would nod their head and clap in unison.

In realty, it's not an attaboy, but a recognition of the change in married game. when you're single, you're afforded the luxury of game being a burst activity. You can put on your best clothes, add on the charm, run game on a girl and fuck her. then when she leaves, you can throw on the cargo shorts, pull out the bag of doritos and get back to streaming minecraft letsplays.

But when you have a walking shit test thats there 24/7, and sees you, warts n all, you aren't afforded the luxury. So the question changes from "Am I able to game a girl into bed" into "Have I internalized my best qualities to the point where they are natural"

So that's whats meant by hard mode. An admission that we are lazy creatures who do just enough to get what we want, and acceptance that just enough has to be the baseline

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best summary of hard mode I’ve seen yet. So much going on here with Oprah, the soccer moms and cargo shorts

[–]Bear-With-Bit-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn, I can't believe you, u/Rian_Stone, came down here and broke this down for me. You're totally not a rando; I have lots of respect for you, even before I read this. I fully see how I come off as value trolling, but that's just my way of writing on trp (not an intellectual gimmick, I'm just a stubborn idiot), which is partially why I'm surprised you commented. You and other ECs/mods on TRP who are married almost never use marriage as a shield to precede anything you write or say. That deserves consideration, if not admiration.

I still don't think you're in a place to ask, or care about the answer

I agree. But also curiosity that may or may not directly involve me has led me to several new paradigms, including TRP. I'm curious about MRP, even though I will never get married or have kids.

It sometimes serves as a great attaboy for anyone who is married.

That's fair. That alone merits the statement. TRP itself was a huge atta-boy to me when I first started lifting just the barbell on bench presses while my divorce was getting finalized.

pull out the bag of doritos and get back to streaming minecraft letsplays while high.

FTFY.

An admission that we are lazy creatures who do just enough to get what we want, and acceptance that just enough has to be the baseline

Let me add: It's one thing for a man to change himself. But to lead his wife to change as well? A woman who knew him through his ultra beta skinny fat baseline-lazy phase? Okay, you got me there. Hard mode, 110%.

You'll have to excuse me again, as I haven't done enough reading here. Can it be that TRP for the married and the unmarried are two different sets of sexual strategies? Maybe MRP is a subset of the TRP / manosphere?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But to lead his wife to change as well?

The relationship is her job, not yours. All you can do is be worthy enough in her mind to put in the effort.

or kick her to the curb for someone who is

the strategy is all the same, the only difference is the tools are either metric or imperial

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the answer has been relayed in the various comments here, but I'll just add this:

The idea of MRP as Hard Mode is not something to be proud of. It is recognition that we fucked up and now are in a hole. The same principles apply but we've lost some power with the marriage contract, so everything we do is more difficult to implement successfully. Some folks at TRP bristle at the "Hard Mode" tag line because they think we're wearing it like a badge of honor or that we think we're better at "doing TRP" because we do it in this context. Nope, just that our situation is worse, not that we're any better for it.

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some folks at TRP bristle at the "Hard Mode" tag line because they think we're wearing it like a badge of honor or that we think we're better at "doing TRP" because we do it in this context. Nope, just that our situation is worse, not that we're any better for it.

That was so fucking good, excuse me while I go change my panties.

[–]rpsheepdog3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bear-With-Bit1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. So, with my bullet points, I'm not that far off. That post by u/weakandsensitive mentions attraction which I left out, but one can safely assume you wouldn't be having great sex with your wife if she didn't find you attractive.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because falling into complacency is really easy. and complacency kills - this is true personally and professionally.

but again, my take is

People say married red pill is red pill on hard mode. I've never agreed with that statement. I personally think it's a cop out.

Now do you want a pat on the back for getting your worldview validated or what?

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What if you discover RP while married, realize the true shitty nature of your marriage (even after lifting, OYS, etc), and you actively pursue a divorce? Did you then lose this hard-mode game? Are you less of an alpha if you go that route?

No man, you don’t have to fix everything. If your car breaks down and you trade it in instead of repairing it, you’re not less of a man. Don’t let anyone shame you for their choices if you made them from a position of strength and options. There are guys here with shitty wives who stay because they are scared of change. There are guys who bailed on marriages they would be happy in if they had the guts to be RP. It’s a game where you decide what winning is.

MRP is hardmode because you have fewer options, less leverage, and less social proof. And girls start out trying to impress a man but eventuallt begin compliance testing him and requiring high amounts of beta. It’s just so much easier to spin plates and next them when they get needy.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't "lose" by actively pursuing divorce. For some men, that is the clear path once they've unplugged. You win by having your eyes wide open and pursuing that which you believe is your best life (which you are the one and only judge of). For many here, there was a good reason we married our wives, but something went off track... hard mode is getting back on track now that she's seen what a little bitch you are. At some point, you make a decision as to whether or not she's adding value to your awesome life, and choose to stay or to go - at that point you're "winning" either way because you're choosing what's best for you, having taken the necessary steps to be sure of that.

[–]bourbonhipster1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is MRP is labeled RP on hard mode?

Because your TRP "next" button is booby trapped to trigger an instant halving of your net worth, potentially another small fortune on litigation, potential serious impact to your future earnings via alimony and/or child support, and large possibility of seeing your children's childhoods utterly fucked, likely loss of your house, etc.

Assuming you still want to have a real relationship with your ltr, she already knows all your tricks, you've likely revealed all of your mystery and have surrendered your remaining allure. As a consequence, power dynamins are greatly shifted in her favor.

In TRP land, if your woman gives you shit, you next her. If you are underwhelmed by her physicality you next her. If she sneezes and a little bit of snot dribbles down her mouth you next her. Who cares, you're just using her for a fuck anyway and you are spinning plates like crazy.

When you drop your main plate in TRP you pick up another plate. Problem solved. When you spin your single or main prized plate in mrp and it drops, you have to pick up the shattered pieces that you've built on top of that plate that was your life.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Essentially, It’s all hard mode, regardless of the sub-

If you do it right, it’s non stop work, but you develop a level in your mission and frame, that allow you to identify what your standards are.

A lot of faggots on here DEER non stop to protect fragile egos and refuse to step back, admit they are the problem and apply these tools for life enrichment.

Fuck em. Nobody gives a fuck. And, no matter the attention grabbing tactics for momma’s attention, it ain’t gonna come together until they apply themselves.

Hard mode- it’s easier to walk away and blame others, then to look in the mirror, and admit failure and take the actions to correct your shit.

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Essentially, It’s all hard mode, regardless of the sub

I just wanted to hear that. Or rather, my own fragile ego wanted to hear that.

Damn.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because in a marriage or LTR where you WANT to stay, doing the work and changing the tide is far HARDER than just cutting ties and breaking in a new hoe.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm....Starting out with the premise that you WANT a certain outcome and attempting to make it so. Sounds to me like the exact opposite of outcome independence.

I have a Buddhist friend that loves to remind me that WANTS and ATTACHMENTS all lead to suffering.

I personally would argue against MRP being RP on hard mode, and argue that it's all hard mode, and therefore none of it is hard mode.

If you start with the premise that you really are in control of only two things, your thoughts and your actions, then the only logical conclusion you can end up with is that your WANTS can only end up holding you back rather than freeing you. I WANT to stay in the marriage is a terrible starting point.

I WANT to be happy is a much better place to start. Wether or not that is within this relationship, or the next, or the next, or none at all is irrelevant.

When I swallowed the pill and started this journey I went wholeheartedly in with both feet. It didn't really matter whether or not my SO came along or wether the marriage survived. I did it for me.

I let go of all the attachments right from the start.

I only have a personal experience sample size of 1 to go by but this approach has worked very well for me. True outcome independence. Lift. Give very, very few fucks. Have some fucking fun. Get laid.

That would have been the outcome regardless of what choices my SO made.

That's not hard mode, it's gravy.

Hard mode was the preceding 15+ years of BP faggotry.

[–]abudun791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because you will not act like a child, stick your fingers in your ears, cry "You're just a plate, I don't have to listen to you" and run away to ignore everything you don't like in a marriage. It's tempting to take RP knowledge and just give up on relationship and on your biological purpose.

You will give your best to improve yourself, just like regular RP men, but you have a scale that does not lie: Your wife. If you're not in an LTR/marriage, you can tell yourself every lie about your improvement that you want to hear. It doesn't really matter, since ONS and plates will not get to know you completely. They just see the AF-side, that you carefully created to show it to her. And it's pretty easy to fake almost all of that ULTRA-ALPHANESS in front of someone who doesn't know you and barely sees you at all (compared to a wife).

And, I guess some people call it that, because in some savage countries a failed marriage can ruin your whole life forever pretty easily. But that does not apply evenly.

[–]suprathepeg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When married you can’t just “practice” TRP as a sexual strategy, you have to live it as a part of your full life. Much easier to keep up some behaviours in the presence of a real late for a few hours...

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No abundance. She gets to dictate your sex life and knows if you deviate, she can divorce rape. Makes dread a lot more difficult when unspoken threats of infidelity have no real teeth without very serious consequences. To remedy this, extreme value has to be shown (hard mode) with oys and owning the household's shit too. You need her to feel dependent on you and scared to divorce you or even scared you'd divorce her.

[–]EveryGodDamnDay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

she can divorce rape

Meh, she can always do that anyway, whether or not you decide to value your own masculine needs over her approval.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is MRP is labeled RP on hard mode

The common RP answer to a relationship issue is "NEXT." This is pretty easy to do. Pump. Then she starts to sink her claws into you then you Dump and move onto the next P & D.

However, if you are married "NEXT" is not an immediate option and it is a whole lot more difficult to execute so marriage is RP on hard mode.

Further, to be a successful MRP guy with a high sex marriage, you still need to be successful with other women. MRP is not about playing a dancing monkey for your harridan, sexually denying wife. You have to be attractive generally, just like any "Red Pill" guy so marriage doesn't make implementing Red Pill any easier. The opposite in fact.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's easy to learn PUA and fool a chick for a few days.

It's much harder to actually change your entire mental state enough that your wife actually accepts that you have changed and deserve respect.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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